Seeking Advice on Best Way to Establish Good Sleep Habits

Hey A., I will tell you what I did with mine. They are 6 and over 2 and 1/2. I started them both in the bassinet. It worked good. I moved them into their own rooms in their crib at 3 months old. With my first daughter I rocked her all of the time. I swore never to do it again with my youngest because rocking my oldest spoiled her and she wouldn't go to sleep unless I rocked her to sleep. I just stopped doing it and she went off on her own. She cried for a little while but she eventually went to sleep on her own. She was about 6 months or so when I stopped rocking her. What not to do is never let him sleep with you. I have a friend who is having a very tough time keeping her kids in their beds and her husband brings their son in their room at night and he still doens't sleep in his own room, his sister is the same way. I also had a Ocean Wonders Aquarium thing that we hooked to their crib at night to help. It played music and had a light on it, when it stopped playing the light went out and by that time they were asleep. I hope this helps. You might want to let him soothe himself to sleep when he's a month old, if that doesn't work maybe try when he's close to two months or at 2 months. Good luck! J.

I agree with the advice here about "Babywise". It works, even if you are not too rigid with the scheduling. My baby is 7 weeks old and she knows her schedule already. In a couple of weeks, the book says she should be sleeping through the night. I am confident it will happen.

I am a first time mom as well and people are always amazed at how well my daughter sleeps. My pediatrician recommended this book to me when my daughter was born and I thought it was very helpful. It is called, Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child and it is by Dr. Mark Weisbluth, the spelling on the last name could be a little off. Hope it can help you too.

Well I was going to say swaddling always worked for my boy but every baby is different. The main thing i tried to make sure of is when it is time for night time feeding, there should be no extra lights turned on, no tv or radio and no talking to him. Night time feedings are just that feedings. they eat in the dark (nightlight ok) and in mostly silence. Obviously you can say soothing things in a soft voice but that should be it. Feeding during the day should be the opposite bright and cheery with music or tv in the background. It's helps them figure out the difference between night and day faster, I also only swaddled my boy at night not for daytime naps. For day time naps my boy, he's now almost 3, would sleep anywhere from his cradle to the swing to the bouncy chair and sometimes it would be 20 min sometimes it would be over an hour, as long as he got some sleep and wasn't to cranky than things were ok but if he was cranky for lack of sleep then I would try to get him to sleep more but it doesn't always work and that was ok, you just gotta live through a little crankiness. When he was about maybe 3 months old or not getting up for midnight snacks anymore that is when I started to let him cry it out. It sucks during the process because we all hate to think out baby isnt' happy but in the end it really is the best way. within a week he was going down by himself or just crying for a few minutes then passing out, you also need to make sure that if he waked up in the night and he doesn't need to eat you should try to not go in to him. Let him cry for awhile and see if he can go back to sleep on his own. Now if the wails sound bad, like I'm hurt or I had a bad dream go to him, but if it is just normal i woke up and am not happy about it let him try it on his own. Don't forget a good nighttime routine. I started reading bedtime stories to mine as soon as he was holding his head up and could sit fairly well in my lap and now he knows that when story is over it's time to climb into bed. I hope this helps you out some, I know it can be hard. Good Luck Jenny

All four of my babies were different. My oldest loved to be rocked. He was my first child and I really enjoyed holding him close, nursing him, and rocking him to sleep. He loved the swing. When he would not nap anywhere else he would nap in the swing.

My second child hated to be rocked. By that point I was sick of rocking so it was a good thing he didn't want to do it. He loved to be held very close and nursed and held very still until he fell asleep.

My daughter was the "nursy baby." She loved to be nursed to sleep. She would fall asleep and nurse in her sleep. She would not give up nursing at night until she was 2 years old.

My last baby wanted to be close to someone to fall asleep. It didn't matter if it was mom or dad or one of his teenage siblings. He wanted to fall asleep in your arms. He hated the swing. He hated the bouncy seat. He is 3 years old and he still prefers to fall asleep with someone he loves near him. I think he needs the security of having someone close by.

Every child is different. Try to listen to your baby and figure out what works best for the baby. When my first baby was born I was terrified. I had great parents and I wanted to be as great a mom as my mother. I got the best advice about motherhood from my mom. She told me to blow off all the experts books and just listen to your baby. Your baby will tell you what he needs from you as his mommy if you listen to him.

I still listen to my children. They tell me every day what they need from me as their mom. There are times that they think they need something from me and what they really NEED is something completely different...like limits and boundaries and consequences to their behavior. Just listen carefully to your children. They will teach you how to be their mom.

I'm sure you got some great ideas already, but let me chime in (or reiterate. I'm 'Mom' to 4 grown kids and 'Mom-Mom' to 3 little ones (our oldest daughter's offspring).

If the household has good sleeping habits, babies naturally develop them (same for most family habits). Play with him a lot during the day and keep natural household noises going (blender/mixer/vacuum, radio/TV, phone conversations, etc.) He'll learn to sleep through them. Also keep day 'light' and night 'dark' so he'll know the natural flow of things! Don't rock him any more than you want to KEEP rocking him (or he'll rule your life!). If he's not crying and is awake, he's content, so let him have some 'down time' (quiet, alone-time -- we ALL need that), whether in another room from the hustle and bustle, or in them midst of it (probably some of both). And 'crying it out' a little doesn't hurt them, either. (Don't you sometimes just feel like hollering a little bit? LOL)

You can't LOVE a baby too much (cuddle and snuggle him all you WANT), but don't be totally 'at his beck and call'. The world will not revolve around him, and it's doing him a disservice to start acting as if it does. Sometimes we all have to wait a bit for what we want, and he needs to learn/know that. Of course we want the 'best' for our children, but often the best thing for them is NOT what THEY 'WANT'! Just remember that you are the parent, and you are in charge.

Don't know why I said all that, except you sound like a 'pleaser' -- trying to make/keep everyone happy all the time. It's impossible, so just enjoy your life, your husband, your work, AND the baby. No one of these should suck all the best from you!

Blessings and happy parenting!

My midwives told me that skin to skin contact was the best at this stage. I could have the baby sleep with me so she could nurse whenever she wanted. They also said that sleeping near our chest and listening to our hearts helps them sleep and our heart rate and body temperature helps regulate their heart rate and temp. Can't forget that that is what they listened to for 10 months. Around 3 to 4 months I noticed I could start to transition them to their own crib. The best soother that babies use is sucking. I used a pacifer with both of my girls but only when they were done nursing or done being pacified with my breast. It worked very well. I was able to move them to their bed after that. I nursed my first child till she was almost two and still nursing my second (19 months). Both of them gave up the pacifiers on their own around 15 months and neither one sucks on their fingers. Every baby is different and some go sooner than others. I personally enjoy having them in bed. God Bless and Congratulations!!

Hello A., I think "healthy sleeping habits" are different for every baby.Some babies like to sleep a lot, some don't, some like to be close to mom and dad, some don't.
We coslept/used bouncy seat till our boys were 6 months old ( I wish I knew about those cosleepers). When they became mobile and would sleep for longer we stared putting them in their cribs(awake) with no problem.We fed babies when they were hungry, rocked when they had gas/teathing/were sick and there were times then nothing worked(rare) so they cried(and there are times like that, even though some moms say that they NEVER let their babies cry.....would I love to see a baby that never cries).
I have some friends who's babies started sleeping though the night(8 hours) at 2- 3 months old without using any methods, and some who used tons of methods and baby still would not sleep.
Your son is still so "new" if he sleeps in the bouncy the longest, let him sleep in it and do not stress out,enjoy when they are so small(it goes by way too fast).

There are 2 books that are excellent -- I am looking for "advice" on sleep issues too - but since your baby is still young at 6 weeks.... you might be able to "jump in" to the books suggestions faster. They work - our first daughter slept through the night === check out BABY WISE and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child books. They are great. Bottom line - this is hard - but don't use props (swing, etc.) to get them to sleep b/c you will pay for it later (they can't get themselves to sleep)... and it seems they are too young to start, but now with my 5 mo. old I am trying to get her to sleep by herself and re-reading those books and realize I should have started right away. Swaddling is a big help... anyway, I am not really able to "advise" since I messed this up for my girl this time - just in re-reading my books regret I did not start earlier... :) Good luck!

I got lucky with my daughter, who is now 15 months old and a good sleeper. We didn't actually start expecting her to soothe herself to sleep until about 3-4 months, but we did start gradually increasing the time we left her in her crib when she woke up as long as she wasn't crying. Usually she would wake up and "play" for a few minutes and we figured it would help her get used to being in there alone if we didn't pick her up right away. We started around 3-4 months putting her in bed not quite asleep, and kept gradually increasing the time so that eventually she was going to bed wide awake and playing for a few minutes then going to sleep on her own. It took time but it worked. We also started right away with a "routine". For us, even when she was a newborn and didn't know what we were doing, it was always laying on the counter to get a sponge bath, then turning out all the lights and having a bottle, then dad rocking her to sleep. Gradually it worked up to bath, book, dad rocking her for a shorter time, until eventually it was bath, book, bottle, bed. Even when we took the bottle away it was okay. Just make sure the routine is predictable and don't stress if it gets messed up once in a while b/c that will happen. Good luck, this is one of the harder things to do. Starting now will help you in the long run.

I have never had luck in being one of those parents that can lay the baby in the crib and they go to sleep on their own. I made the big mistake of either rocking them to sleep and laying them in the crib or just putting them in bed with me. This creates a big problem when you want them to sleep in their own bed. It is harder to get them out of your bed then it is to stay up with them a little while till they sleep. A big tool in our home was also the swing thanks to my husband. My youngest daughter went through so many batteries for her swing. In fact we went through 2 swings for her. Also bathing the baby at the same time. A routine works best with kids.

I have also heard that if you feed the baby a full feeding (when they are just newborns that is usually about 2 ounces or 20-30 mins of breast feeding) and then lay them down before they fall asleep, this sets a good sleep patteren for them and they go to sleep themselves. I have never been successful. I have always fed the baby and rocked them to sleep. This is why the youngest girl got to liking the swing. Other then the fact that my husband was in the army and got up so early that we would have done anything to get sleep.

I hope this helps some. Good Luck!

The absolute bible on the subject, as far as I'm concerned is a book called "On Becoming Baby Wise" by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam, MD. It deals extensively with establishing your baby's routine. In fact, I just checked it on Amazon, and the new subtitle is "Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep." READ THIS BOOK right away!

I had 3 babies, and followed this book's recommendations, thanks to a friend's tip abaout it. They were all sleeping through the night around 9 weeks old.
They were also 100% breast fed (which some will tell you keeps them from sleeping through the night... not true.)

Best of luck! And Congratulation!
S.

I don't know about you but the first few weeks of our son's life was difficult in terms of sleep. He had his nights backwards. So to change that we put him on a schedule-He ate (breastfead every 2 1/2 hours) then had some awake/play time (in the beginning this ran for as long as he could till he gave tired signs) then napped (only for 1-2 hours). Then it would repeat-all day long. The last feeding before he went to bed till I (or we) woke went longer than 2 1/2 hours-at first 3 hrs-then 4. Then when I felt he was ready I started eliminating night feeding. Signs he was ready-sleeping through our scheduled night feeding or only eating a little. I was really strict about this schedule (read a few books on it) and by 3 mos he was sleeping through the night 9pm - 8am only eating at midnight. And by 4 1/2 mos we eliminated the midnight feeding and he sleeps now (6 mos) from 8pm-7am. Please know that this was not easy. A lot of crying. YOU DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO PICK THEM UP,OTHER WAYS TO SOOTHE-PAT/RUB CHEST, SAY SH SH SH, PET CHEAK, ETC. We started letting him cry it out by 2 mos. NOW THIS WAS A LIFE SAVER-THE MOMENT WE USED A SWADDLE (FROM BABIES R US) HE SLEPT ON HIS OWN W/NO ROCKING OR SWING, ETC. WE SWADDLED TILL HE WAS 3MOS.HE STARTED COMING OUT OF IT ON HIS OWN.

But the schedule (book-baby wise & baby wisperer) I told you about saved my life & the swaddle. GOOD LUCK WE ALL HAVE BEEN THERE.

When I took my daughter for her 4 month appointment, the dr told me that she should start going to sleep on her own. Well, I tried putting her in her crib and letting her cry it out. That was very unproductive, she just wasn't at the point where she was ready to soothe herself. A month or so later I rocked her to sleep, and she woke when I put her down, so I left the room and let her cry, telling myself that I would go back in 5 minutes and soothe her if needed. But I didn't need to, she went to sleep on her own and has ever since. All babies are different, but most babies probably don't start putting themselves to sleep until around 3 or 4 months.

Like the other moms who have suggested it, I am a huge fan of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. I didn't read it until my first child was five months old and no longer napping. The book helped me get him back on track, and I wish I had read it before he was born, so I re-read it before my second child arrived, and putting the info and practices to work from the beginning was one of the best things I ever did. My youngest son is a great sleeper--and I never lost any sleep over his normal sleeping issues as they cropped up because I felt confident that I had a handy, reliable resource in Weissbluth's book. Don't waste time--go get it today! :)

OK, people are going to say I am crazy, but this has worked with my two children and YES, you should expect a schedule for your 6 week old.
Key points:
1) Wake your baby at the same time every morning. EVEN if you want to sleep in, don't.
2) Everytime, you feed the baby keep them awake after.
3) Put them down once they start to look tired. Do not feed them or rock them till they are alseep. My mother-in-laws think I am silly about this one until they see that it works. They will cry at that age for 5-20 minutes. My peronality will not let my baby cry for more than 10-15 before I pick them up, play with them for 10 minutes and try again.
4) Don't try to force and all night sleep, wait until they are ready. Wake them so they do not wake you.

I really suggest the book BabyWise. Someone told me not to follow it b/c it says do a schedule only but it does not. It even prepares you for growth spurts. I think read it and take what you can from it. Best of luck.

Babies usually quiet and fall asleep easily while being nursed. Once they are sound asleep, they can be put down anywhere to sleep but they usually sleep better and longer if they can hear your heartbeat, and smell your familiar smell.

Hi A..

I don't think there is anything wrong with letting him soothe himself to sleep now. My daughter was the same way when she was about four weeks old (she's three months now). The best advice given to me was to not rock her to sleep. Rock your baby until he gets sleepy, and then put him down. I had to stand by the crib with my daughter for a few minutes and hold her pacifier, but once she seemed comfortable, I walked away. If she started to fuss, I would let her cry for a few minutes before going into the nursery. Unless she was really upset, I wouldn't pick her back up. I would just give her a pacifier again until she calmed down and then leave her to sleep. It might take a few tries, but it's better to teach him to sleep on his own now.

Does he only do this at night? I ask because my daughter fell asleep after feedings during the day, but we had a tough time getting her down after her last feeding at night. Because I was nursing her, I didn't know how much milk she was getting. So, we tried giving her a bottle of expressed milk at night so we could measure it. That helped tremendously. Once her belly was full, she went to sleep much more easily.

I also believe in routines. I started one from the day we brought our daughter home from the hospital. This helped her know what to expect every day. I also think it helped get her to sleep through the night.

Good luck with your son, and enjoy your time with him. The last three months with my daughter have flown by.

READ "BABYWISE"!!!! YOu can get it at amazon or any big bookstore and it will SAVE you! I followed it and my daughter was on a predictable routine and sleeping through the night (6-7 hours, a lot for her, she has never been much of a sleeper) at 7 1/2 weeks. If you read these boards much, you will see mother after mother who is still exhausted and crying out for help to get their child to sleep at 1 or 2 YEARS of age because they didn't want to let baby cry or soothe himself, and the poor things are so tired (baby and mom!). Good luck - it just breaks my heart when I read the posts from those moms and I know it could have been averted by learning how to help your baby sleep at the age he is NOW. I wish you the best! I'm sure this program is not what everyone wants or is looking for but many of my friends used it and it was a LIFESAVER for me. I am due with #2 in August and will be doing it again!

get the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. It is a fantastic resource for understanding sleep. I wouldn't pay much attention to his ideas about how to get them to sleep if your having problems - very much on the cry it out side of things which I don't agree with, but if you get the book now and read the section about one to 4 month olds, it will explain how sleep develops and you will notice that what your child is doing is completely normal and developmentally appropriate. Naps and prolonged night sleep don't start falling into place until about 3 or 4 months. And the best piece of info that you'll get from this book is that infants at that age cannot tolerate being awake for more than 2 hours at a time. That means from the time they awake in the morning or from their nap, they should only be awake a TOTAL of 2 hours - so if they awake at 7am, they should be back in their crib at 9am. I know it sounds crazy, but it is absolutely true. If you can follow their rhythm on this, you will have a great sleeper and you will, most of the time, miss hitting the overtired stage where it becomes difficult for your little one to fall asleep. A friend gave us this book and it was the greatest gift. Our daughter has always been an amazing sleeper - we never once tried any kind of cry it out techniques - we just honored this rhythm of getting her back to sleep before she would hit the overtired stage and it worked like a charm. Realize that there are many things that will interrupt sleep as they mature - teething, hitting big developmental milestones like rolling over, etc... but if you stick with the advice in this book, you'll help your child to develop healthy sleep habits for a lifetime. It means that you can't run around all the time - or only within those 2 hour windows - if you want your child to have a consistent sleep pattern, but it is so worth it. Unlike most of the moms I knew who's children never napped consistently and who's naps were all over the board time-wise, I always knew when my daughter would nap and for how long, so I was able to make plans around that much more easily than alot of my mom friends. And because she had such healthy sleep habits, she was in a great mood when she was awake because she wasn't fighting being overtired. Didn't mean to go on and on, here, but I just wanted to let you know that it is possible to establish healthy sleep habits without crying it out and that it is SO worth it in the long run. Get this book, but remember, just read it so that you understand sleep and know what to expect, don't be worried about the stories of people needing to let their kids cry for 45 minutes... if you read the book now, hopefully you won't get to the place where those parents were when they met with Dr. Weissbluth. Good luck! babies are just amazing, aren't they?

Hello,

I am a mom of two girls 2 year old and four year old. What your baby is normal. he is still developing self confidence and getting comfortable in his own skin. So to speak. When he wakes up crying you should check on him and all the basics diaper, pain, sheets, etc. if nothing is wrong rassure him and place back in the crib. Keep this procces brief and with minimal stimuls. He needs to learn early that bed time is bed time in his bed but still needs reasurance that mommy is there if need be.

Good luck be strong
I.

I recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. It will really shed some light on all of your sleep questions, and give you information that perhaps you haven't even thought about. It also busts through some myths that other moms (& grandmas!) tend to believe and pass along. I bought it off of amazon.com. I can't really add much advice to what this book offers. It breaks down into age groups, too, so it should help you with your 6-week-old and continue to help you as he grows. We now have a 8-month-old (time flies!). We've used Dr. Weissbluth's schedule for several months now and it has worked like a charm (especially the early, and I mean, EARLY bedtime). The best thing I can say aside from that is to start as early as is reasonable and possible to get your baby into a sleep schedule. Trust me, it will make all of your lives better and hopefully will prevent a struggle to institute a schecule at an older age. Good luck & God bless!

We followed www.babycoach.net and her book 12 hours by 12 weeks. Very helpful. 2 naps a day, bedtime at 8 p.m., wakes up at 7 a.m.

I recommend the book "Babywise". It really helped us not only with establishing a routine and good sleep habits, but also with learning to distinguish between different types of cries. Some people are critical of Babywise, but I think it's very good as long as you're not too rigid. My daughter started learning to soothe herself to sleep early. At 6 weeks she'd sleep for at least a 6-hour stretch at night and at 9 months she's now up to at least 10 hours at night (still breastfed). She also loves naptime and goes to sleep on her own.

I think what you are experiencing is totally normal. Every child is different, so it can be frustrating when you hear of other parents with babies the same age that are sleeping really well. Try not to compare yourself to others, every child is different (some are more fussy than others, more sensitive than others, etc). I would recommend the "Sleep Lady Shuffle" book. It has some really useful information on sleep and ways to encourage sleep from birth until toddler age. My son took naps for the first 4 months of his life in a swing -- nice, longgggg naps. He could nap in his crib, but usually for only short periods of time. He did sleep at nights in the crib, and we used a swaddle blanket. Sometimes it would seem like he would fight it, but I found that he always slept longer tightly swaddled. At 6 weeks I usually nursed him right before the evening bed time and he would pretty much be asleep. I would lay him down and swaddle him up, which would often times wake him up, so I would carry him around and shush and pat and bounce, until he fell asleep (usually a few minutes). It was probably not until around 3 months that I finally started to let him cry it out some because it was just taking too long to get him to sleep with the patting and shhshhing. And he stop needing to be swaddled at night at around 6 months. That's what I did, but every parent comes up with their own approach.

I found this blog when my son was 4 or 5 weeks old and I was desperate to know if what I was doing was right or normal. It really helped me feel better....

http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2005/12/quick_and_dirty.html

Plus, she has lots of other posts and responses to kid questions.

I hope this helps, and hang in there, you are doing great!

K.

The 'Babywise' method worked well for us. Ezzo is not a nutcase as declared by another Mamasource mom. It's just like everything else in child-rearing - you will get criticized no matter what you do. People are so opinionated when it comes to parenting. Our son was premature and spent 2 weeks in the NICU. They had him on a schedule there. If scheduling is so bad, why on earth would they do it at the finest hospitals with premature babies? The Babywise book is criticized mostly by those who have not read it. It emphasizes a flexible schedule - not rigid. It tells you to take all circumstances into account, not just to follow the clock alone. Our son slept through the night at 14 weeks. He is almost 3 now and still has great sleep habits. I know of adults who can't slept through the night, and I suspect that their parents did not make an effort to help them learn how to get a good night's sleep. My husband and I do what we think is best for our child and just avoid people who like to criticize others. Good Luck.

This is a BIG question with no clear, magical answer. I think once YOU understand what normal infant sleep looks like, you'll be better able to handle whatever pattern she falls into. For example, many moms brag about how well their babies sleep, how long they sleep, and how they can simply lay them down drowsy and bingo, mom and dad now have the rest of the night to themselves. See ya, baby, in the morning. Although this may be true for some families, this is NOT normal or natural. Most babies, heck toddlers and even preschoolers, need help falling asleep and staying asleep. It's my firm belief that babies need to be PARENTED to sleep, not simply put down to sleep. I'm very much against crying it out (CIO) for many reasons. I understand the intense desire to have an "independent sleeping" baby, but it's just not the way babies are made. It's natural for them to still need us. Parenting does not end when the sun goes down. I'm gonna paste a bunch of links below for you to read. I work with new moms and am a first time mom myself. I've shared these links often and I always get good feedback, so trust me, this is some good reading.
I'll sum up by saying, my now 2 year old nursed for comfort, nursed a lot at night, never ever cried himself to sleep, woke often during the night, didn't always nap well, slept in our bed for a long time--basically all the things people tell you not to do--and he now sleeps great! I get better sleep now than I did before he was born. Although that's probably because he keeps me exhausted! Sometimes he still needs us at night. To fall asleep or in the middle of the night. And we do not hesitate to respond to him. He falls right back into sleep, peacefully, knowing he can trust us.

Infant Sleep Chart
http://www.lpch.org/diseasehealthinfo/healthlibrary/growt...

8 Infant Sleep Facts Every Parent Should Know
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp

Mistaken Approaches to Night Waking
http://www.nospank.net/fleiss2.htm

Sleeping Thru The Night
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html

Will Giving Formula or Solids at night help baby to sleep longer?
http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/solids-sleep.html

Reflections
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/reflections.html

The Family Bed
This has a ton of even more, excellent links
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/familybed.html

Got Sleep?
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/got-sleep.html

Will Giving Formula or Solids at night help baby to sleep longer?
http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/solids-sleep.html

What is preventing your baby from sleeping thru the night?
http://www.kellymom.com/pantley/pantley01.html

Solving naptime problems
http://www.kellymom.com/pantley/pantley27.html
This one has a great chart that shows how much total sleep (in 24 hours) babies need at different ages. This one also has a similar chart http://askdrsears.com/faq/sl17.asp

Dr. Sears is great! Check out this link to his website where he has some great articles and tips on sleeping (you don't have to register here and it's free!) http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

These articles, written by professionals (let's face it, some of the worst advice we get sometimes comes from other moms)w ill give you a realistic idea what to expect in the first year and beyond. Congrats on your new baby girl and best wishes. These first few years really will fly-enjoy them!

****************
edited to add:
After reading some of the other responses, I feel the need to caution you about the Babywise book or any other book that encourages rigid scheduling (also beware of The Baby Whisperer). Schedules are for trains and buses, not babies. Routines, however, are great tools. If you'd like more info on why Ezo (the Babywise author) is such a nutcase, check out these links:
http://www.ezzo.info/
http://fresnofamily.com/ap/ezzo.htm

Here are some books I found helpful and I know other moms have too. They don't advocate CIO or scheduling feedings or sleeping.

"The Happiest baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp
"Night time Parenting" by William Sears (anything by the Sears family will be a good read!)
"The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley

both of my kids slept in the bed with me for the first 2 months, because they were nursing all of the time. they now both sleep all night in there own beds(there 5 and 1) and it was all about putting in the time. putting them back in the bed when they wake up. it will all work it self out.

"Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth

I found it so helpful that it's my standard baby gift. Also took some pointers from "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer"-my best friend's favorite.

Lots of good info in both. Won't bore you with details (but don't expect a real schedule til 3-4 months, possibly later if you have a colicky one...). Happy New Mommyhood!

I ALWAYS suggest people read "Baby Wise" by Gary Ezzo. It worked like a miracle for my oldest son. It gives great advise on feeding too.
Your sanity, and your son will thank you later.
Good luck!

"I am wondering if any of you moms have advice on what to do and what not to do to develop good sleep habits for my son."

Define good sleep habits?

If by this you mean- the child will fall asleep by themselves in their own bed/in their own room from before 24 months and sleep through the night? Then I can't be much help!

But if you mean- the child's sleep is restful, they wake up in the morning happy and secure, they go to bed at night feeling loved and safe? If you mean, when they wake up to nurse or with a wet diaper or gas or with teething pain at night, there is no need to cry out or to cry louder than a peep to summon mama's help? If you mean, they will go to sleep when they are tired, on the couch next to you or on the floor or on the bed, feeling safe that when they wake up you will be there for them? If you mean, you treat them as a person who while pre-verbal has emotional as well as physical needs- well that I can help with!

Throughout history mothers and babies have shared sleep. While waterbeds and couches, those who must use narcotics, and extremely heavy sleepers can be dangerous to sleeping babies, most mothers are not. A baby sleeping next to it's mama regulates it's breathing, heartbeat and body temperature in response to hers. There is no need to fuss upon waking if mama is right there. I find that I usually wake up 2-3 minutes before my baby stirs- and I was a heavy sleeper before I had kids! Your body and your baby will connect intuitively at night. Sleep sharing enhances breastfeeding (you don't have to get up and go to another room for the night feeding(s) and you don't wake up engorged) and helps prevent the early return of fertility.

Organizations that recommend against sleep sharing have visible ties to crib manufacturers. Most sleep studies on infants in the west have been done with babies sleeping alone as the norm and do not include cosleeping. There is evidence that cosleeping can help reduce SIDS risk as well.

For more on sleep sharing,

google James McKenna sleep studies
google Dr. Sears nightime parenting
google family bed

I also recommend that you google babywise and Ezzo, which the previous posters have recommended.

Babies have died from following the advice of the Ezzos! Their church has disassociated themselves from them. Professional organizations of lactation consultants and physicians have issued warnings about them. If you feel led to follow the Ezzos, do it with knowledge and caution- knowledge that they are not child rearing experts, not having raised many children between them nor having degrees that grant any sort of authority. Any authority they claim is based on their interpretation of scripture. Claiming that it is God's plan does not make it so.

You will find that there are mommy wars going on, not between mommies so much as wars between ideologies.

The Ezzos belong to a 50's mindset of scheduled time- a mindset that is not based on child development research or psychology. They believe that your child can be spoiled by too much love. They represent detachment or mainstream parenting.

Dr. Sears is probably the best known attachment parenting advocate. His many books can be found easily on Amazon or in your local book store. He and his wife raised 8 children and he practiced pediatrics for 30 years. But Dr. Sears is not the first or the best advocate of attachment parenting- you are. What your heart tells you when you put your baby down in a little box with rails in another room and shut the door, that is the most important AP advocate, right there inside you. What your heart tells you when your baby stirs and cries out in the night- that is the most important AP advocate. You will not find much support for following your heart or intuitive parenting in the Ezzos or other mainstream parenting sources.

Good luck finding your way!

Hi A.! I have a 22 months of son, who luckily was a good sleeper from the beginning, but I began a more structured sleeping schedule around this time. If Cole, my son, my cranky and I knew he was feed, dry and all the other check offs, I would lay him in his bassinet and let him cry. Now, I know this is very hard, especially for first time moms, it was hard for me too, but I would do it in intervals. For example, I would time him 10 minutes the first time I would lay him down. After 10 minutes if he was still upset, I would go comforth and love on him until he was calm. Repeat and after a while add some time in between getting him. I never let him go past 15 minutes. I kept him in his bassinet until he was 3 months and then moved him into his own crib and room. I believe it establishes a secure place if they sleep in the same area, verses switching back and forth. My son continues to be a great sleeper, still has a scheduled nap time and prompt bed time. Not to mention, after a book, a few mintues of rocking and singing...I can lay him down with zero issues!! He goes right to sleep. I hope this helps. We're expecting our second in October and I'm praying she's a great as my son!! GOOD LUCK!!

Congratulations! Good for you to ask for help/suggestions/advice now, especially here on Mamasource.

Ok...where do I start....

Read, read, read...go to the library and check out books. You and your child are unique and how you handle situations is up to you. There are so many different options out there for moms about how to raise a child and what works with me may not work for you. As far as sleep goes...the book I would HIGHLY recommend buying or checking out is The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Awesome book and gives such wonderful advice and suggestions. Read it now and as he gets a little older, you can start more of a routine with him.

Ok, here is what I would suggest if it were just me and you and we were old friends!

ROUTINE, consistency. Now, that doesn't mean everyday at 2 you do this, or at 12 you feed lunch, and if you forget or are late, it's the end of the world, no. Keep your daily routines simple and similar. Watch him for his cues, at this point he will probably be nursing (or formula fed) every couple of hours, or even every hour. (Cluster feeding - perfectly normal!) I co-slept with both of my kids, my daughter longer than my son, only b/c he didn't like to snuggle and be cuddled, he slept much better on his own. Start out with having a bassinet in your bedroom at night. If you have a two story house, I'd suggest if you can, a bassinet or pack n' play upstairs and downstairs. If he's your only child, you can keep him with you in all rooms or at least close by. Saves the trips up and down the stairs.

Wear him, yes, put him in the sling, being close to you provides security and helps him fall asleep and stay asleep. There are sooo many different versions of slings on the market, you'll have to decide on which one you like and works for you. We have and like the Dr. Sears baby sling. Sleeping at this point probably, depending on him and his personality, won't be consistent until at least 4-5 months, (maybe!) Starting at about 8-10 weeks start a good nighttime routine, do the same thing every night. Modify it on nights when you know he's tired and you don't have as long, or things aren't going as timely as you like. Vice versa if you have longer. Take a warm bath at night, lotion, baby massage, read books, cuddle, rock etc...the idea and it WILL eventually happen is to be able to get him to go to sleep on his own with out you (or bottle). In the beginning, my little guy and girl would fall asleep at the breast during our last feeding before bed. This normal and ok to do, but as he gradually gets a little older, try feeding him and removing him from the breast/bottle before he falls asleep, this way he doesn't associate the milk in order to go to sleep. You want to put him down drowsy or even wide awake and get him to fall asleep on his own. This will not be easy, as since this is your first child, it will probably test your nerves, especially when you hear him crying. It only gets better when they learn how to stand up and call you name! (my daughter was terrible at standing up and crying/calling Mama, at the top of her lungs! Tears at your heart strings!) But remember this WILL eventually happen!

Anyway, If you like the idea of co-sleeping, go for it, don't let others tell you differently. My folks (the lovely grandparents that they are), didn't like the idea of this, and had their opinions and highly vocalized them to me, don't let this bother you. Do your research and make sure you are doing things right, and everything is safe for you two. Sleeping in a bassinet or even a crib at this point is good to. You decide when to move them out of the bassinet into their crib. Every child is different, my son grew to fast, he moved into his crib much earlier than my daughter, but everyone is different.

Don't believe what others will say about feeding kids food/cereal at this age. It is highly recommended by the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) that you wait until the age of 6 months before feeding them solids. You can feed as early as 4 months, but you increase the risk of food allergies and other problems. There is no proof that you need to feed them anything other than you (or formula) until then. Enjoy the bonding you have with him now and wait before you have to increase your grocery bill to start buying or making baby food! It ain't cheap! Which brings me to my next point....make his own food, this will depend on you, your personality, do you have the time, but what is so neat and amazing, is the amount of money you will save when you make your own food! It is soooo easy and you know exactly what you are giving him. Check out: www.wholesomebabyfood.com for awesome ideas, advice, and recipes to help you get started on this. LOVE IT!!

DON'T put anything in a bottle except milk/formula!!!! I hate reading other people's advice about putting cereal in the bottle!! It is unsafe, and does NOT help your child fall asleep or stay asleep. Chances are when you start feeding him solids, you will notice a few things...he'll probably start sleeping in longer stretches at night, and your milk supply, if you are breast feeding, will decrease, b/c you are introducing, not substituting, food into his diet.

Ok....I think I've covered it...I hope. If you have ANY questions, please feel free to email me through Mamasource and I will gladly help you in anyway possible. I feel very strongly about my thoughts about sleeping and eating and breast milk vs formula so I may come across as a little forward, but I've only learned from my experiences!!

Good luck!

A.

Read the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer By Tracy Hogg. (found at abebooks.com for a $1 or 2) I am a birth doula and I tell very one of my new mamas to read this book. She talks about putting the baby down at the first inkling of the baby being tired ie rubbing eyes, yawning, my baby bobbed his head on my shoulder. Make sure you get them in their beds no later than the third inkling or the baby will be over tired. The baby may fuss for a few minutes, but I am telling that it is SO MUCH EASIER to start this good habit at 6 weeks instead of 6 months when your baby has an option about it!

This way you are teaching them to self sooth themselves to sleep. If you want to rock your child, that is ok, you are setting a habit. Just make sure it is a habit you are willing to do EVERY time and also when the baby is weighing 30 lbs! Also do not rock them until they are completely asleep, maybe just when they are about to doze off, then they will put themselves to sleep in their own bed.

I have done this with my last two children and WOW what a difference! They both were sleeping through the night at 6 weeks and then other at 8 weeks. And if they woke up in the middle of the night (when they were older) they knew how to put themselves back to sleep themselves.

Good luck and I hope you look into the book it is a very easy read

H. Mother of three, military wife, and birth doula.

A.
1st congratulations on the birth of your new son.
I am sure at this point you are starting to feel a bit sleep deprived. My advise to you is to establish a bedtime routine. It sounds like he never knows where he is going to go to sleep i.e. the crib, the bassinet, the bouncy chair... You might be confusing him.