My sister has lost 2 sons. I understand how very very hard it can be. Just let her know you are there to talk or what ever. The first year is horible for them, every holiday. The childs birthday and anniversary of death are very hard too. My sister lost her sons quite a few years agon. One would have been 20 on December 30th, she still has a tough time, the other would have been 25 this april.
this is a poem that she found and used at their funerals and stills finds comfort in.
"I'll lend you for a while a child of mine," He said.
"For you to love the while he lives and mourn for when he's dead.
.
It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three,
But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?
.
He'll bring his charms to gladden you, and should his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief."
.
"I cannot promise he will stay; since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.
.
I've looked the wide world over in My search for teachers true
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes I have chosen you.
.
Now will you give him all your love, not think the labor vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to call to take him back again?"
.
"I fancied that I heard them say, "Dear Lord, Thy will be done!
For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we run.
.
We'll shelter him with tenderness, we'll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known, forever grateful stay;
.
But should the angels call for him much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand!"
God's Poem by Edgar Guest.