Hi B.,
I'm sorry you're struggling. Everyone will respond differently to any medication, and we even can ourselves respond differently to the same med taken at different periods in our lives. That's why we end up feeling like guinea pigs while we're trying to find meds that work.
You may have seen an RA to rule out the Fibro, but have you had a thorough physical recently? The symptoms could be caused by so many different things like diet, allergies (wheat, yeast, mold, environmental toxin, etc), recent illness or trauma (car accident? virus? etc), and other medical conditions. I'm assuming your doctor has already gone through all of that, but, you never know.
Are you sleeping well? There is more and more research showing that poor sleep (not just the # of hours, but the ability to achieve deep sleep levels) can cause fibro symptoms as well as depression. Many people need to begin with addressing sleep issues in order to treat the other problems.
Have you only tried Paxil and Cymbalta? Is there a reason your doctor wants to try Cymbalta other than that it's indicated for Fibromyalgia? For example, maybe you have other health concerns or are on other medications? As you know , there are many antidepressants out there to try.
Have you tried Lyrica yet for the Fibro symptoms? It helps some people, but side effects (like with Cymbalta) can be problematic. Last I knew, those were the only 2 meds FDA approved for Fibro, if that's of concern to you.
A warning: In some people, going off of Paxil (or Xanax) can cause severe withdrawal symptoms. Its half life is very short, and many people have had to switch to a liquid form of it in order to go off of it very slowly. That may not happen to you, but I feel everyone should know about the possibility as many doctors are not aware (or do not believe).
Having said all of that, do you know much about other, more holistic approaches? There is a wealth of info indicating that diet and lifestyle issues can affect our physical and emotional health more than we realize. It's not as easy to make large lifestyle changes (I'm living proof!) as it is to take a medication, but sometimes, it's not only healthier for us, but also, the only thing that works.
I've struggled with depression, and more recently, Fibro and sometimes, anxiety, for much of my life. I've tried nearly every medication, including the ones for Fibro, and I do take some, but I've worked for years to get off of most of the meds and to improve my lifestyle. Like you, I'm very sensitive to medications (I couldn't tolerate Cymbalta, for instance, due to nausea that wouldn't go away) and their side effects. Personally, I take that as an indication that I need to be doing something different, but that's just me.
We don't yet understand the workings of depression, anxiety and Fibro, but we do know they can be inter-related. Thus said, there are no easy answers or quick fixes, unfortunately. And of course, the very nature of depression, etc, makes it difficult for us to make changes, weed through conflicting research, and sometimes even, to keep hope.
I'm living proof that there is hope, though. Through hard work and the grace of God, I continue to get better year by year. If I had to give just one snippet of advice, it would be to never give up fighting to be healthy and happy. It's sometimes easier to stay miserable or even "so-so", but we all deserve better.
It's great that you're reaching out for support - that can be most important! There are (online and in real life) support groups for depression, anxiety, fibro, "alternative" or holistic healthcare, diet, exercise, withdrawal from psych meds, chronic pain and fatigue, etc. Keep seeking info, as they are complex problems and we all have to find our own paths.
I'll be thinking of you, and I hope I haven't just overwhelmed you by not giving you a simple answer!
May you get to feeling better soon.......