Seeking Advice - Orangevale, CA

I introduced my babies to a blankie, lovie or stuffed animal to hold when they began the pinching and scratching phase. My son actually scratched a mole off my neck with his little busy fingers! If he has something to hold and finger it should keep his fingers busy so he is not pinching you as he learns about the world beyond himself. Good luck!

I totally feel your pain! My son (now 2 1/2 and no longer nursing) got really into tugging my hair or wrapping it around his fingers (it's curly) while nursing or snuggling. In the beginning he didn't pull hard and it was kind of sweet, but around 10 months he got the hang of it and it really started to hurt!

I think you've gotten great advice from the other moms about getting something he can pinch or play with while you nurse and take with him out and about. The pinching is about a connection with you, so I'd advise something that would initially be attached to you like a necklace or a blanky you can wrap around you.

As for the "don't co-sleep and stop nursing" concerns, PLEASE ignore those. They just aren't grounded in reality. Nursing at 10 months is not even some kind of hippy earthmother thing at all! Medical professionals recommend nursing at least for the first year. The idea that you have passed the time for medical benefits is just ridiculous since no one would tell you 10 months was old enough to be off of formula which is specifically produced to mimic breast milk.

You are an excellent mother! Continue doing what you are doing. I hope the pinching stops :-)

T.

My daughter would do this alot during nursing. After the first couple of times I gave her a cloth toy (bunny) to play with...it worked during nursings. I just stop her at others times and say NO. If I stop nursing when she does it she stops. I think it is just a new sensation, the pincher grasp is new at this age and they don't understand it hurts. Try redirection as much as possible.
Ok now having read kathryn's response..I won't answer directly. A lot of people stop breastfeeding earlier due to poor support, difficulty with supply once they return to work etc. However, the scientific and health community all support continuing if possible to at least 1 year. The antibodies issues may not be as critical but the other health benefits are tremendous and overwelming. Congradualtions about still nursing at 10 mths. Yes your child is still getting tremendous benefits, healthwise and emotionally. I'm still nursing at 16 mths and we co-slept until 6 mths when our mutual movements interfered with the other's sleep. Our country has strange biases against co-sleeping but I think if mothers were not nervous about admiting it the majority of mothers have co-sleep. So keep asking when new stuff comes up. Obviously, this is a common milestone for the kids. We've all been there. It passes.

Ouch, those lil' hands are quite strong. Have you tried giving him a comfort blanket or stuffed animal. My son is almost nine months and we gave him this really soft monkey stuffed animal. Its soft and he actually snuggles with it. As he's falling asleep he pulls on the tail. You can even try a blanket. little boys love their mommas and want to make sure they don't get away..lol.. So with the stuff animal I started giving it to him at every nap, when he started getting tired , or just a little fussy and always tell him " hold your lil baby" its corny but it worked for us. Good luck
C.

Give him a stuffed toy or blanket to hold on to so he will rub or pinch that instead. It is what they do for that secure feeling they need.

Hi E.,

My son used to pinch and I would just say "ouch, that hurts" or "no pinching, pinching hurts- be gentle with yourself". I ended up getting a Tag blanket-just the small one for him to hold and touch- it is made out of tags and lots of textures. Its great for babies who need to touch on something. As far as co-sleeping, I would continue if you can- it has so many benefits! But if you can't then maybe put the crib in the room with you and help him sleep there.

Good luck!

Molly

My daughter does the SAME thing to me whenever I have exposed skin. I wear turtle necks to bed and cover my skin while I nurse. She gets it.... and is not too upset.

I agree with everyone else. How this turned into something about co-sleeping is beyond me. This is your choice. I did it, I have a happy healthy 7 year old who sleeps in his bed and comes into my room if he has a bad dream. Our society puts a damper on this and other society's don't have a choice-smile! I used a little teething towel with something hard on each end to let me son pinch instead of me. I nursed until he was 18 months because he became allergic to milk because I tried to wean him off to quickly. Do not switch until at least 12 months. The doctor said that I should have waited. Good luck!!

Tell him no and explain that it hurts.

Give him something to hold. Little ones love tags. There's a toy that is all tags. Or a small blanket with a silky edge to rub. My daughter rubs the tag on her favorite stuffy.

Stephanie

Hi E.,

My youngest son, now 2, did that. When he did it, I would remove his hand and tell him, "No pinch, that hurts Mommy." I had to do it hundreds of times, but he finally got it. Now when he needs soothing he sticks his hand/arm down my shirt. That'll have to stop at some point too, but it's better than the pinching for now.

Good luck!

My son was a dedicated pincher when he was younger, mostly during nursing. I helped the daytime pinching by getting a small soft toy and holding it next to him each time we nursed, so that he bonded to it and made a soothing association with it. It became his favorite "lovey" and he kept it with him at night time too once he moved into his own bed. But for nursing time it did help distract him and give him something to poke & prod at.

The other thing you could try would be a nursing necklace, with a very interesting touchable pendant for him to play with. There are lots of interesting and beautiful designs available online, one name I can remember off the top of my head is LaughingStarFish.com.

My son tends to pinch and slap while nursing, especially when the milk isn't fast enough for his tastes. I will hold his hand so that he can squeeze my finger. I would be cautious about anything soft for him while you sleep and short of moving him out of the bed I'm afraid I have no suggestions on that. While he is awake though I've found if I distract him with something else to hold (like my finger or a toy) it works very well.
Oh, and according to the American Academy of Pediatrics a mother should nurse until her child is 2 YEARS old so don't worry about naysayers.

yep definitly keep on co sleeping, I don't do it but I totally respect and understand how important it is to you and your child. Taggies are awesome and try to find some kind of squishy stuffed animal.(My sons had an affinity for the silky edges of blankets)Maybe take him shopping and pick out a few and then substitute them for you. I think he may just like the way your skin feels, at 10 months he doesn't know that he is hurting you. He isn't being malicious he's just soothing himself. I think that if you take the co sleeping away it would really freak him and you out, so keep up with what you are doing and follow your intuition. You are a good mama

My daughter used to do this & I initially found myself with bruises too. I began gently prying her fingers off as soon as she started each time. She soon stopped doing it. I guess it wasn't as gratifying when she couldn't get a good grip & twist. LOL! Please don't let other people's responses discourage you from continuing to breastfeed. There is research which shows many benefits to baby with extended breastfeeding. The world health organization recommends breastfeeding until the baby is at least two years of age. The majority of babies will stop when they are ready to wean. Follow babies cue.
Please check out the following links: http://www.kellymom.net/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html
http://parenting.ivillage.com/tp/tpweaning/0,,3x5j,00.html
http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/html/ask/beyondyear.shtml

Hi E.,

Hurting someone else to comfort one's self is not OK, even if you are a child. I would stop the co-sleeping to begin with. Nurse, hold and comfort your baby as usual, except when he try’s to pinch you, stop him. Hold is hands away and say "no" or "ouch"..."you hurt mommy".

Start putting him in his own crib. Feed, nurse and give him a comforting bath before bedtime. He will cry for a while----it might seem like a long time, but he will probably sleep before you know it, (especially if he is full, dry and tired). Check with your pediatrician on how long it's OK to let him cry. It will always seem longer then it really is, and it's very hard not to pick a crying baby. A stuffed animal, favorite blanket, toy, musical mobile etc., in his crib may give some comfort and distraction.

I am not in favor of co-sleeping for a number of reasons. It’s O.K. to take your kids into the big bed to cuddle, play a little in the morning, comfort when they are sick or scared; but I believe it is better for a child and mom and dad, when they have their own bed/space. I hope some of these things will work for you.

My 13 mo old was doing the same thing around 9 mo...and did it for about a month. I starting wearing a nursing necklace that I had gotten a while back and never used.....she liked to roll the beads in her fingers. Or tug on it. I don't know if she just grew out of the phase of pinching me or if the necklace really worked...but I had a brown neutral one so I could wear it in public without looking rediculous! Using a lovey/blankie works for alot of babies...I just remember how hard it was to wean our oldest away from his blankie when he was 4 yrs old and it was nothing but rags. If you introduce your little one to something they are going to become attatched to make sure you buy two of the exact same and put one away just in case one gets lost or worn out! Good luck!

well my son pinched me a couple of times and now he grabs for his blanket or something imaginary close by so maybe trying to put his blanket near by when he is nursing might help eliminate the pinches