Second Wedding Rules???

do what makes you happy! I know if I ever get married again I want it to be intimate and special, and smaller, and to be more about the committment vs. about the party, BUT thats M.. Do whatever you both would like to remember=)

You can do a big wedding or a small wedding or anywhere in between. Like pp said, the old rules are out the window! We had a very small wedding out of state. It's what we wanted. I'd had a big wedding before and I just wasn't excited about having one again. It was sooo stressful! My hubby got married at the Justice of the Peace for the first one, so he was just glad to have a wedding this time, lol.

Congratulations!

L.,

What would YOU like? Advice will be much better if we have an idea of how you feel. Many people who are getting married for a second time did not have a nice wedding the first time around....or the first marriage was so AWFUL, they would like to do something really special to go into their new life.

Blessings....

You can do whatever you want. It's your wedding.

poo poo rules! it is still YOUR wedding! You two do what ever floats your boat! and everyone else can stick it!

Edit: well, hopefully the people you invite will be ones who genuinely care about your happiness, and are ready to celebrate with you, however you choose to do so!

I got married a while back and had everything I could possibly want for a wedding. My mom picked the dress the first time, paid for the pictures, did all the planning, everything.

The second time I got what I wanted and had a lot of fun. I think it is whatever you want. White dress? Yes, full length train and veil? Yes, if that's what you want. Full stage with bridesmaids and groomsmen? Yes, have as many as you want. The only thing we didn't do was the father of the bride thing. I was given away once already. Didn't need it again. My brother was my escort down the aisle.

It's your special day to be celebrated! The only rules are the ones you lay down for people to follow! Congratulations!!

I did small, 50 people, because it was the second and I don't have a lot of family left anyway. I did an off white dress because the dress I fell in love with was off white. My kids were the wedding party.

We just wanted to celebrate our happiness and we pulled that off pretty well. :)

One rule... HAVE AS MUCH FUN AS POSSIBLE... forget most rules.. it's your wedding.. do what you want.. If there are things you would have done differently than your first go round, then perhaps cater to that.. for example, I would have had one person represent me as oppose to so many bridesmaids. In addition, I would have done a different style dress... but what I wouldn't change is that our wedding FUN.... everyone got up and danced all night... so far, it's the best wedding I have ever gone to....

congrats to you and yours

Congratulations!!! No rules, have fun!!!

Wedding rules are kind of out the window. Do what you want to celebrate your day in how you see fit. Bridal registries and the whole groomsman/bridesmaid thing doesn't seem to be as big in second weddings, as it is usually the children as the wedding party, but as far as wearing white or the size of the guest list you want, doesn't really matter. Most people keep it intimate with close family and friends. A lot of women choose to wear facsinators or small birdcage veils instead of a full veil.

Mine was small. White dress I bought at Walmart actually. The parties were big, but the wedding itself was just 11 guests (family) and us.

It was my husband's first wedding, my second. He was SO glad to get the small quiet intimate (cheap?) wedding. He was SOOO glad he didn't have to wear a tux nor dance in front of guests and all that 'stupid' stuff.

But as for rules - no rules, except I think it's frowned upon to register for stuff at Target/BedBath/Dillards, etc. If people want to get you a gift, they'll get you a gift card likely. When people called my mom to RSVP to the party, some asked what we wanted/needed or if we were registered. Mom simply told them "They're working on fixing up their house. They are at Home Depot and Lowes every week. So they could use a gift card there if you want to get them something." We got lots of them.

I got married two times. I TOTALLY believe that a second wedding should be celebrated in the way that you want because it's the start of your new life together! These are the memories you will have and the pictures you will keep forever. The should be just like you want.

That being said, you will come across friends or family that will believe that you don't "deserve" a fancy/big/nice wedding the second time around. Just be prepared.

For our second wedding (and it was my husband's second too) we didn't ask anyone for financial help. My parents helped finance my first wedding and so did his and we didn't think it was right to ask them again. Now, our families did offer to help, which we graciously accepted.

As for a dress--wear whatever you want! Big, fancy, veil, no veil. Do what you wanted to do the first time but didn't. I got the PERFECT dress, the one I would have wanted had they had it the first time. Wear white, off white, pink, blue, red--whatever you want!

The only thing that I didn't do out of sensitivity to the fact that our families had already contributed to one wedding was we did not have any showers. A shower is for people to "shower" you with gifts and since they had already showered us with gifts once (even though it was years ago) it didn't seem proper to ask again. If co-workers that didn't attend my first wedding had wanted to throw me a shower I would have accepted, but they didn't.

I also did not ask my bridesmaids to buy a dress, they both wore black dresses they already had. They already bought expensive bridesmaid dresses for me the first time!

We registered and received many lovely gifts. It was truly the wedding I always wanted and we have many wonderful memories and pictures.

For the ones who wanted to make me feel "bad" for having a big wedding I simply said "We want this wedding to be a party to celebrate our new lives together as a family, and we sure hope you'll come and enjoy the day with us." Everyone showed, and it's funny but no one made any comments after that. Instead we got comments on how wonderful the party was :)

Congrats and have fun!

I think the rules have gone with no white after labor day and wearing panty hose. However, there are a lot of fun things you can do for the 2nd wedding to celebrate it uniquely. I love the website The Knot. They have a whole section on 2nd weddings. The wedding vows section makes me cry every time! 2nd weddings can be such a celebration of maturity and enduring love, wehre the 1st wedding was about innocence and 1st love. I think it's cool to not shove it under the rug, but highlight it.

been to quite a few of these weddings! No rules whatsoever.

Each wedding has been unique & beautiful.

I've seen full weddings with & without bridesmaids (my 1st for "without"). I've seen men as the man of honor for the bride (very different).
I've seen the kids walk the mom down the aisle.
I've seen white for 2nd weddings....& ivory/cream/lots of color for 1st. Even a camouflage-trimmed gown this summer. Oh, & one white gown trimmed in black velvet!

& while this was not a 2nd wedding, so far my fav was just last month: the wedding was at a conservation area. The bride was delivered across the lake in her dad's fishing boat. Sounds hokey, but it was adorable! The couple were married on the dock, with the guests sitting in the parking lot. It was a 1st for me....& I enjoyed it! (well, & of course, the fact that my son was in it....makes a difference!)

It seems to me that the weddings today are so well-conceived & thought out. I love how personalized they've become! Just saw pics from a wedding this wkend which were wonderful....the bridesmaids wore dresses which were a combo of deep amethyst & chocolate brown. The bridal gown was white, corseted in muted gold. The flowers were autumnal & tied it all together beautifully.

Can you tell I love weddings? Blessings to you! Enjoy your day....& life.

There are no rules. It's your wedding - do it the way the two of you want it.

Congrats!!! My advice is do what you two want.....not what everyone else thinks is appropriate. Its your day and so you make it however you want!!! GL

M

Our wedding, like mine and my husband's, was small, personal, and AWESOME! We had about 50 (including about 13 children) people, our closed friends and family... my 1st wedding, his 2nd. Do whatever you'd like, and follow your heart!! CONGRATS!!

On a side note, our registry was SMALL... like, maybe 6 things. We'd lived together for 4 years prior, and I hated to see people spend tons of money. We upgraded a few household items :)

I personally find anything resembling bridezilla excitement about weddings to be in great distaste. A friend of mind is getting married for her second time. She was married years ago, at 19, for 1 year, and now, at 39, is doing her second wedding up as if it was a first.

I don't like it. Sure, she was young during the first, but marriage isn't about a big party, and fancy dresses. It's about promises, and making that promise in front of loved ones. Simple weddings that keep things focused on why we are there are always in good taste. Everything else? Wishes to be a princess for a day. Greatly distasteful, especially when you are an adult.

Well, there actually ARE a few things you have to make sure that you just don't do. Some people think it's to avoid bad luck, but it's really for good manners. :-)

Don't let your new wedding mirror your first one in any way. That's the most important "rule." A wedding and reception should reflect the new couple and have nothing resembling the old couples at all.

Avoid using the same churches or halls. Don't reuse wedding rings. Don't reuse clothing from the first weddings. It's all about starting over and moving forward, and the only way to do that is making sure that you're leaving the past in the past. Obviously if you have children, include them in the ceremony if you can, and whomever else you wish to include in the ceremony.

Otherwise, it's pretty much anything goes. If you're having a religious ceremony, talk to the officiant ahead of time to see if there's anything you should be doing and planning in that regard.

The nice thing is, now days there are no rules! You can do whatever it is YOU want to do...big/small, white dress/off white/pant suit...whatever :)

I was 32 and a single parent when I got married the first (and only) time, and it was my husband's second time. I wore a traditional white dress and a headpiece. We had a traditional church wedding and a reception. Alot of what you do reception-wise usually depends on your budget and what's important to you. Shop around, ask friends. Some halls are cheaper if you go with a Friday night instead of a Saturday or Sunday. Go medium-priced with a DJ...you do get what you pay for. Find an independent photographer, they're usually cheaper (my niece is one if you want her info!). You can rent a gazebo in the park if you want something smaller and not a big church wedding, still nice, but not as formal. You can always do a destination wedding (Las Vegas, a beach somewhere, even here in Michigan), and just invite close family.

It's YOUR day, so don't let anyone ruin it for you!
D. :)

Yesterday was our second anniversary, second wedding for both of us. My hubby went to the courthouse with his ex, I had a huge wedding. So for ours, I wanted something in between. We are from Phx, my family is in CA and his in ND. So we had a "destination" wedding over 4 day weekend and got married in Laughlin NV on the riverboat. I wore a white wedding dress and he wore a tux. We also had a "budget" wedding since we are both biz owners and dont know what our pay is each month. We basically got money as gifts which was great since we already had everything for our home. I didn't read your prior responses but I don't think there are any "rules". Just do what you want and can afford. Congrats and good luck!

Well obviously from all of the posts you can do whatever you want...But to have anything grandious (sp) like it's your first go around is pretty greedy and tacky..How many times are we supposed to be getting married and having a huge "shabang".

Invite your family and closest fiends who you want to celebrate with you. I would keep it small. Wear what YOU want, but the big gown, and this is just me, is only for the first wedding. Congrats!

I think some of it depends on how long it has been since your first wedding, how long it has been since your divorce and whether you will be celebrating with the same group of friends.

Ultimately, what would be important to me would be to have a wedding that represents the two of us, and to create the memories we want to have for a lifetime. Large or small, do what is right for the two of you as you begin your new life together.

There are no rules, except the ones you make for yourself! I am getting married for the second time next year and don't know yet what color dress I'll get. It will be white or cream colored. Our wedding will be fairly small with 25-30 people. As far as gifts, we are telling people that no gifts are allowed, which is our personal choice. We just want to celebrate with those who we care about and care about us. I hope you have a wonderful wedding! Best wishes to you!