School - Turtle Creek,PA

I know how you feel, i would be upset if one of my children had to be held back. Please know that if he is behind it will just get worse :( Unless.... you try learning centers and tutors and constant drilling....that is no fun for him...

It is my understanding that the parents must agree with the school district for a child to be held back.

Hi J., I think more importantly the question should be "what is best for the child?" I am a retired special needs teacher and it's always about what is best for the child.
Who wants to hold him back?
Why?
Is there documented reasons?
How old is your child?

There are many questions that need to be asked.

My daughter is born in November, while we lived in South Pas she did grade 1. We moved to Canada the following year and she repeated grade 1 in a french school. She is now the oldest in her grade and the brightest. She is top in all her classes.

Please ask the right questions, WHY and WHAT is best for the child.

B.
Family Success Coach

Hi, J.:

Talk to the teacher. What is in the best interest of the child?
Good luck. D.

As a HS teacher I HIGHLY recommend following the school district's recommendation. Unfortunately, many parents decide to force the school districts to advance their children when they are not ready. As a result the child struggles for the rest of their school career. They have missed out on learning key topics and many of them never really catch up. By HS their fellow students are calling them dumb and they are struggling to get D's b/c they have trouble with reading and math still. Keep your child back and let them get the skills they need.
Good luck.

Jenn,
It is usually the parents' decision at the elementary grade level. I would, like some of the other responders stated, identify the reasons that the school wants to hold the child back if this is the case. Holding a child back is devastating to the child. My niece was held back in elementary and it has affected her self-esteem ever since. She constantly has to explain why she is older than the other kids in her grade level. It is a painful reminder of perceived failure and if it is not handled well (as in my niece's case), the kid will suffer throughout their school years.

I would recommend finding a tutor to work with her at home for the remainder of the year, throughout the summer, and maybe even at the beginning of the next year to help her in the areas where she is struggling. Also, there are tons of online sights that have worksheets and games that can give her extra practice at home to strengthen her skills.

I understand completely. My son is in kindergarten. He is able to do the work, but he does not test well. It has been an uphill battle, but I have worked closely with the teachers to help them understand him and what works for him and he is responding better to the testing.

Jenn, I pray that all goes well with your daughter.

hard to answer your broad question, are you asking because you want to possibly hold the child back or does the school want to hold the child back?

i asked the school that if i let my dghtr start kindergarten but if i noticed she was not ready if i could hold her back even if the school disagreed with me & i was told by all the school officials that ultimately its the parents decision

hope i answered your question, although we are in different states so there may be different rules, but i would hope us parents have the say over the government

In CT the parents have the final say

Make sure you understand why they want the child held back. Is he/she having a lot of difficulties with school? My neighbors held their son back in the same grade but he also had a lot of moral and emotional support. You can explain to them, that while it may be hard to see his friends move on, he can make new friends, he will also have the advantage of having already been through this grade and hopefully it will make it easier the second time through. Make sure about their emotional maturity. If they are immature this may help them as well. Don't think of it as a stigma or embarrassment, think of it as helping your child to really get a grasp on what they are learning. Or pull them out and homeschool them.

Probably depends on a few factors. I know when we wanted to hold our son back in the first grade (now a college sophomore) we were really discouraged from doing so. Yet we had friends who moved between school districts between 1st and 2nd grade and he was held back because no one knew.
Why are you asking? Social? Academic?

I'm sure there a lot of factors that go into considering if a child should be held back. Your school district probably has guidelines that they follow.

The parent has the last say. The child is yours not the school districts.

Like Barbilee said, the question is what is best for the student. But to answer your question, in the state of Texas, the school can make a recommendation but ultimately it is the parents decision. The question I would ask is, "Will the student be prepared for 3rd grade?" The hand holding ends in 3rd grade and there is also the TAKS test. A level of maturity and academics must be reached for 3rd grade.

I am an elementary teacher that has had to hold kids back. I am agreeing with the other parents who say listen to school district. Talk to the teacher personally. if she really cares about your child, she is going to only recommend what she feels is best for him or her.
The early years are sooo critical, and if your child struggled through them, I would let him feel successful again. To do that if he is held back, he will get a second dose of the material, which is what many kids need. He or she will then feel like they actually "get it" and their confidence will peak.
Believe me, in order to enter third grade and feel confident, your child needs to be able to read at his grade level or slightly below. He must be able to independently add and subtract and be able to read high frequency words. Most importantly, your child needs to know all of his diagraphs, phonics sounds and know how to write a simple paragraph. (it may differ in some states, but those are important basics.) good luck and remember, you want him to feel confident and not scrambling to catch up with other kids. It really is no big deal at that age. Just explain that he will do so well next year.

I think you should have the final say but the administration will always tell you to move them up. You know your child best so don't let them talk you into something you know will hurt your child.

From the way I am reading your question. The school wants to hold him back and you are against it. If your child has failed that grade then yes they can be held back. IMOH they should be as they haven't gained any education that year. At this age they are building each yr on what they learned that last yr and for a child to move on without having learned anything is a disservice to that child.

I really don't know - is each school district different with their own rules? If they want to hold a child back they must see something he/she really needs help with - how has the school year gone as a whole? Was the child struggling all along, or just recently? I would rather let the child be given the opportunity to catch up, then to be struggling behind the others . If you really feel the child shouldn't be held back will they let him/her retest after some additional help over the summer maybe?

Jenn,

Read about retention at: www.wrightslaw.com (click on retention along the left side.) Children this age are not "slackers" who deliberately set out to avoid school. This is an educational issue that the school should deal with in a way that is proven to work. If your child did not make one year of progress then they have failed to find a way to teach this child appriately, and they don't get a "do over" at the child's expense. They should offer something new. Do you try something that did not work the first time again? Give it a read, and see if you can find something to help you. It is a very bad idea in almost every circumstance (the data is very clear: retention hurts children) even if you get many "anecdotal" storys about how great it was to hold a child back, you should pay very close attention to the data. Fight. Say no. Ask for evaluation, and get him compensatory services for the year they botched up, and moving on with his age peers to 3rd grade.

M.

Hi Jenn,
Around 8 years ago when I lived in NY(Westchester ) I was friendly with a mom ,her son was a year ahead of my son but the boys birthday was in Nov. He could have been held back but she put him into kindergarten because he showed early moter skills. In first grade she was shocked when they put him in a special reading class.She asummed they would first learn to read in that grade. They actually test the kids at the end of kindergarten to see if they can read. Anyway he went on to second grade. At the end of the year she said he is going to be repeating second grade. All the warning signs were there. She just didnt want to see them.

If the school recommends this it is usually to benifit the child.Especially if the child is a boy. Very few children are aware of kids being left back at that age but if you wait and the learning becomes more difficult it will then become very embarrasing and kids are very cruel.

It is always heartbreaking when it is your own and to have to explain to your child but it is the best time to do it.
My son is now 15 and there are a few kids in his school that have repeated first grade. They are not the best students but they stay on top of the work . They actually have an edge in sports and always get picked first because of there age and size.

If you are definitly against it you should have an outside source test your child..
I wish you the best,
L.

I thought I would add some input- I have been on the other side of it. They wanted to advance my daughter when she was in 1st grade but I did not feel she was ready. She had a summer birthday and I was going through a divorce. She had been tested and they felt she had a learning problem but could not identify it after several rounds of testing. They had me going to specialists but no one could find anything wrong. We were moving and I decided it was in her best interests to hold her back. She was struggling with reading and every subject. We moved- she repeated 1st grade and within a month was excelling. She began to not only like but loved school. She advanced in every subject and was getting highest grades. She is more social and makes friends easily. She is a totally different girl and amazes me. She went from not wanting to read to dragging me to the library and reading everything she can get her hands on. She is now in 2nd grade and excelling further. I am so glad I held her back.

I do not have an answer to your question, but have you checked the website for the Pennsylvania Department of Education? http://www.education.state.pa.us/portal/server.pt/communi...

Has your child been tested for learning issues? After reading everyone else's posts--all good information--and combining them with my own thoughts, I would want to see if there were a reason why the child is not performing at grade level...and perhaps move the child up, with the appropriate learning support he/she needs...because of the emotional issues. I would imagine it could be devastating at that age to be held back!

The school can do nothing without parental consent. However, that's not to say that there isn't good reason, and usually good, hard evidence, if they are recommending a grade repeat.

my sister was held back in 3rd grade & it devastated her. She felt betrayed by parents for letting it happen. Her grades got worse cause she totally quit trying & became a very troubled kid. I would fight it & then whatever the delinquincies are, get tutored through summer to help get her ready for the next grade. Support her, guide her , fight for her, & help her. :) Find a kid a few years older to help her, sometimes kids learn faster from other kids rather than parents.