Running Away from Home

Here's one that worked on my daughter and worked on my son. Pack their bags, tell them goodbye, you love them and miss them, drive them to the place to stay. More than likely before you even leave, they will be beggin you to take them back home. And I've tried the nose-growing thing.. don't work they will slip and tell a lie and realize YOU lied. And wind up really made at you LOL

My first question would be how old are your kids and did they all start wanting this at the same time? If it occurred at different times, then you might want to take a step back and look at yourself. When this happens it is usually a sign that the kids feel ignored and like you are not considering them or their feelings. However, if you children and are close and all decided this at the same time, then I think it is time to line them up and sit down with them and have a talk. Ask them why they want to leave you so badly when they know how very much you love them? Ask them how they would feel if you wanted to run away from them (but explain that you dont after they answer.) While they may be obstinate and not helpful at first, the longer you talk to them the more they are likely to tell you. One thing that is the hardest for us parents is not to get frustrated and angry and either bicker with them or stomp off for a while. You need try to open up the lines of communication and look at how to bring your family together. They are kids. You are the adult. This is the time to show them the difference. Teach them the appropriate way to deal with feelings they are having, which is not running away. I think by leaving them all alone together, you could possibly show them that they take you for granted, but you would also be teaching them numerous other negative things as well. Like, that running away IS acceptable or that if they are bad enough you will just leave them. That's not what you want. Instead, try to make a little extra time to spend with them together. Organize some family outings. Also, try and set aside one on one time with each of them every week. They need to feel like their world is safe, secure, fair, balanced, and understanding.

I would like to point out that I am NOT some all nurturing, don't punish your kids type of mom. I am just saying that in this particular situation, that's probably the best route. If they are ganging up on you, though, then I would separate them. Talk to them as a group AND individually about the problem. If it is just them missing their father or acting on curiosity and a stage, then there are steps you can take to deal with it. If it is actually something in the home life that is spurring this, then that needs to be addressed. If your family is experiencing any financial troubles, then this is a common reaction in children, and there are ways to work through it as well. Feel free to message me here. Or look at other responses I have given to other mothers.

In regards to the Pinocchio thing, if you have older children around, I doubt that would last long.

I wish you all the luck in the world!

Hi M.,

First please accept my apology, the first thing that came to mind for me after reading your "a little about me" was the name Typhoid Mary! (sorry, warped sense of humor I guess) anyway, when my middle child was about 8 he was constantly threatening to run away.
So, we (my husband and I )explained to him that everything he owned, we bought and could not be taken with him, he of course said fine and started walking out. My husband stopped him and reminded him that we had bought the clothing too and if he was leaving, he needed to leave the clothes here. After considering all of this, my then stubborn 8 yr. old saw the light, went upstairs, sulked in his room for a bit, and then came down and apologized!

Have a great day!

Sounds like, you may need to step back not run away. All that you will teach them is that the one person that they LOVE the most can just leave them. Don't you think that you will have bigger issues after teaching them a life lesson that know one should ever have to suffer! Ok I have read theother responses and I am confused, Is this a humor thing or do you truly what to leave your children?

This seems to be an issue that may have underlying circumstances and you may need to see a professional.
J.

I have 3 girls and two of them have said that to me before. When one of my daughters was 7 she said she wanted to go and live with my next door neighbor. We were out at the time so on the way home I told her how much our family sure would miss her and how much she was loved and that it would be real sad that she would miss out on having sisters. So by the time we got home she had changed her mind. The other child one time wanted to go and live with her grandparents, so I packed her suit case and gave her the same spill about loving her and that she would be missed worked yet again.

This seems to be limited information. How old are they? Shouldn't that be taken into consideration? I'm a single mom that has no father around ever. I have to realize that I made the choice to have these children and it is a huge job; that I'm not perfect at but, am responsible for none the less. I'd love to "Tiptoe through the tulips" as well but I don't think that's what I signed on for by having kids. I always want to give up and drop them off on a remote island far, far away as well. I can't. I'm their mother. I'm the one constant in their lives that is here to show them unconditional love, trust and how to work through hard times without running away. While I feel your pain and hear your cries, this is where you have a choice. You set the tone,the example. It's just up to you to decide what you want that to look like. Stay Strong!

Hello i so feel you ... I am a marine wife who's hubbi is deployed to iraq for 7 months... Lol my child is 5 and wants to run away.... Since ur hubbi works away alot they are looking for some sort of attention...my kids go threw it when my hubbi deploys.... I try to work threw it with them especialy the 5 yr old we make lil deals and we both have to change something we dont like about the other... Lol and when that dont work give them a bag and say dont forget anything when you leave ....

I love your comments. Good ideas. Mother of 4 grandmother of 8, and 1 on the way and great grandmother of 7.

I'd think if your two grown daughters are either complete losers who spend their time in front of the television, consuming all the food in the house, and refuse to lift a single responsible finger for the kids thereby completely disallowing any motherly behavior - then go for it! Or....if they're like the two evil stepsisters from Cinderella....heck yeah! Just....make sure they won't let the kids blow each other away with a rifle over a bag of chips like that SC kid did yesterday.....other than that you're good!

I do like the "I'll need the clothes off your back" thing too.... :)

I did, btw, know one mother (mine) who actually packed her kid a bag, set it outside on the porch, and said,"See ya! Don't call me unless you're famous and want to give me money." That worked....

They'll only believe the Pinocchio thing if the Tooth Fairy tells it to them.

when my oldest son was 5 he decided that we were mean and told his grandma that we were hitting him with big sticks an d throwing stuff at him. ( I do belive in spanking if the occasion calls for it but us spanking sparingle, but in no way do I use switches.) This was the first tall tale that he had told in his life. When his grandma told him that she did not belive him and that if he was at her house he could not go swimming either he decided to run away. I told him I guess he needed to do what he needed to do and let him pack a bag while telling him I would miss him and love him. I asked him if their was anywhere I could take him and he stated his friends house. I called the mother (my best friend) and told her that I was bringing him because he was running away (she caught on and played along). I dropped him off there and left. she asked him what was going on and he gave her an updated verison of the story. She told him that since we were so abusive she guessed she needed to call the police because that is what you are suppose to do, and then they could take him to a new mom and dad and he would never see us agian. He started crying and wanted to call home. It was 10 min from the time I dropped him off that I got a crying phone call screaming "MOMMY PLEASE COME GET ME! I WANT TO COME HOME!" He has never said he wanted to run away agian.
I don't think you should teach them that their nose will grow like pinnochio's as they are going to get older and relize that that is not true, but you should teach them not to lie. Find a punishment that works and use it consistantly. Good luck.

How old are your kids and do you live in Memphis or another big city? The reason I ask is because I used to "run away" all the time when I was between the ages of 8 and 12. I am a mom now but then - I was HORRIBLE!! However, I lived in a small town and could not go very far. I had a little place behind a brick wall across from a neighbors house where I would go when I "ran away." My mom knew this and would just say - "GO!" BUT - once it started to get dark or I got hungry - I always went home. In other words, they don't want to run away, they are just testing you. Handle it in the way most appropriate for your environment but remember - they are testing you - that is all!!

Dont give in you are the parent the kids need you not their sisters. good luck!