Rsvp Grrr

Updated on October 01, 2011
M. asks from Vail, AZ
17 answers

We sent out invations to a birthday party fo my son with an RSVP of OCT 1. I have had 2 calls. There are 24 kids in his class. What do I do? Do I assume they ae not coming? Should I send an email reminder out? I am so annoyed! Really?!?!?

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H.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

That happened to me last year, 1 person rsvp'd and I was mortified at the time thinking how bummed my daughter would be if no one came. Luckily, one by one, they started arriving! 11 kids showed up, out of 22 invites.

I think not rsvp-ing is so rude, especially if you can't come, just take the 8 seconds it takes to email a regret. It's that simple.

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A.L.

answers from New Orleans on

An e-mail reminder is a good idea. I've gotten a few from my son's class and it's always so much easier to RSVP via e-mail.

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J.S.

answers from Tampa on

I HATE this! It is sooo wrong, especially when the party is at a place where you are paying by the child. UGH! I have resorted to writing on all invites that if I have not recieved an RSVP by whatever the date is, then I will assume that you cannot attend, because I will be purchasing the food, drinks, and any favors after this date. Anyone who does not RSVP will not be included in my head count, so I will not have enough for them if they do show up. It has helped a little, but people are still rude and will not RSVP and show up anyway. If they do and the party is at my house, I just let them know that I am sorry but I do noty have a favor bag for their child because they did not let me know they would be there. If it is somewhere I am paying by the head, I tell them I didn't know they were coming, so they will need to pay to get in on their own. It seems really rough, but at this point I don't care what these parents think. They were the ones who were rude enough to not RSVP!!

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

People are rude. There is nothing we can do about it. You will get people that come even though they didn't say they were. You will get people that flake. It's maddening.

I have no advice for you, but I just can't figure out why people think they're too important to pick up a phone/text/email just say "yes" or "no". It takes under a minute. No one is THAT busy.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Send a reminder.

Yes, its rude.

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

honestly you might plan for 5 kids but probably they are just not coming...unfortunately we have had this experience when inviting the entire class to a party...now I just let my daughter pick 1-3 friends to come have a special day with her (movies & lunch, or something similar)

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B.M.

answers from Dallas on

Yes, really!! I totally feel your pain...I recently hosted a baby shower for someone that was at a restaurant and I was providing lunch. It was a buffet style arrangement and I needed a headcount and would have to pay ahead of time. The invitation said RSVP by a certain date and ONE person out of 25 did!!

People have really lost all sense of etiquette it seems. I did end up emailing people to check. If they can't bother to respond, I see nothing wrong with it. I ended up having half the guest list planning to come but they just "forgot" to RSVP.

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M.K.

answers from Columbus on

I have had this happen many times! People are extremely rude and inconsiderate of others' feelings. If it were me, I would just assume they are ALL coming and be prepared. You don't say how old your son is - did some of the kids maybe just tell him they were coming thereby thinking the parents wouldn't need to respond directly to you? I've had that happen also. After dealing with rude and inconsiderate parents many times I told my kids any future parties would be just a hand full of kids instead of the whole class and when it got close to party time, I called them to confirm they were or were not coming. Good luck!!

P.O.

answers from Tampa on

I just got at least 5 RSVPs 3 yes 2 no at the last minute cause my daughter's party is this Sunday

People just don't think... I know I forget sometimes too. I usually call, text or email a reminder

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

You should call or email each family until you get a response, at least within a few people left that you haven't heard from. It seems the norm to not RSVP which is so annoying for the party planner, but sadly it's true. I usually start with an email and people are pretty good about getting back to me but I will follow up with another email or phone call if necessary!

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M.M.

answers from Fresno on

Send reminder because I'm one of those who do not RSVP. Sorry I know it's a headache. Good Luck!

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

Yeah, that is really annoying. Since it's only 2 out of 24 kids, I would send out an e-mail reminder just to be safe. I had a b-day party for my daughter and requested a response either way. Most of the invites were done as e-vites so really, all people had to do was a simple click yes or no, but some couldn't even be bothered to do that. Some were invites we had to hand out in person - I had both my e-mail and cell phone on them and still some I didn't hear from. And this was at a indoor play place where I had to give a head count and we were going to be charged per child. Fortunately I had enough "yes" responses that I knew I already had a good turn out and decided not to follow up. As it turned out, I did not have anyone show up who had not RSVPed. But in your case, I would send out another e-mail just to make sure.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

It isn't 10/1 yet. Many parents are not going to rsvp until the last minute, like very last minute (11:59PM). I love when an email address is given so I can do it and not worry about interrupting the other family. You will also get at least 3 that will rsvp late (I have done this, just forgot what day it was), and several that don't respond at all. Send a friendly email out with a reminder that his party is on xyz date and to rsvp if they haven't already done so yet. I know several parents that will send an email save the date/look for the invite a head of time so we are on the look out for the invite.

K.J.

answers from Chicago on

I'd email. Or just pray that you get a flood of calls tomorrow. No, stick with an email tonite :)

M.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

This has happened so many time - Grrrrr is right! This last time I sent evites from Pingg and if I don't get the yes or no replies I can "nag" them with a "reminder" note. :) It's has worked great so far.

The first school party we did, not one person RSVPed. It was 5K so no parents knew each other - but still.... my phone number and email was on the invite. How hard is that? I ended up verbally asking moms outside of the school at drop off and got a few to come.

His 2nd had some RSVP's and then a bunch who showed up without RSVPing AND they brought their siblings. I had to pay 10 bucks per head over the limit. I finally had to start mentioning that yes they could stay but you have to pay the 10 bucks at the counter. I then of course was short on pizza and cake. Soooooo Annoying!!! Plus they brought one small gift for their invited kid and stowaway. Which I would usually never care about, just added fuel to the fire.

Anyhoo, I feel your pain. Next time go the route of the evite. My DH thought it was weird but in this kind of situation it's brilliant. Just don't use it for a wedding invite LOL

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I can't believe how rude people are. It takes all of 1 minute to rsvp. Yes, it's not Oct. 1st yet...as someone mentioned below...but I doubt you're gonna get 22 rsvps tomorrow. I would probably send out a reminder email.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

People do not RSVP. It is just not something most adults even think about anymore. Get the school directory and personally call each parent and ask them if they are coming. Otherwise expect they never saw the invitation unless you handed it to them personally.

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