Rocking a Baby to Sleep??

One of the reasons he may get upset is that it may be too early for him. Try waiting until 7:30 or 8. I personally don't think there is anyhting wrong with rocking him to sleep. I do that w/ my soon to be 10month old son as well.

Hi C.,

It is not a totally bad thing if it works for you, but with another one on the way you are going to need all the rest you can get. My advice is to let your son cry it out now. This will be harder on you then him. But once the new one comes you are going to need a peaceful time at the end of the day. And if you wait to do it, he might feel like you are replacing him at bed time and it will become harder to brake the habit. Just think of it this way when he is screaming his little lungs out and he will, that he is working through feelings he does not like. And if you take him out after he as cried for awhile you are taking that away from him. And next time he is going to have to cry even longer. It is like a gift to learn to fall asleep on your own. And believe me when you have to do this with your next child it will be alot easier.

Good luck and be strong you can do this.
H.

I went through that with my son, too. He's now 2-and-a-half. I had him sleep with me until he was deep asleep and then I'd put him in his crib. I did that for about 4 or 5 months. Then I read somewhere that the hysterical cyring is only so that you'll give them what they want. Which is to sleep with you.

I feel that as long as you are showing your baby all the affection in the world during the day, when its time for bed well then its time for bed. End of story. You sleep in yours I sleep in mine.

I think it was about 2 weeks before he went down in his crib and learned to soothe himself.

You want to give your baby the opportunity and tools to soothe themselves to sleep because they are supposed to. This is the very first boundary I had to set. From then on, sticking to my guns with everything else has been a cake walk because I know he'll accept the rules withing a matter of a little bit of time.

Decide on the date you will put your foot down. Come up with your bedtime routine which you'll follow every nite religously - a story or two, a song or two, milk, etc. Eventually he'll remember the story and the songs that trigger "bedtime". And, being left alone in his crib won't be such a shock anymore. He'll get over it and deal with it and you'll have much easier nites. Once I got my nights back I felt like a new woman.

C.,
when my oldest son was a baby, I used to rock him to sleep every night. I loved that time with him. Unfortunately, he got used to that and wouldn't go to sleep any other way. I read some parenting books and they said that it was okay to let the baby cry when they go to bed, that it would only take them a couple of nights to get used to going to sleep in their own cribs. They said about every ten minutes, when the baby is crying, go into their room and rub their backs and/or tell them you're there and reassure them. My husband and I tried this - it was very, very difficult the first night - he cried for 45 minutes, with us going in and reassuring him. That 45 minutes minutes seemed like much, much longer. But the 2nd night he only cried for about 20 minutes. The night after that I don't think he cried at all, he just went right into his crib and went to sleep. I never thought that would happen. It was so hard listening to him cry. He is now 20 years old and in college and a well adjusted young man. I have 3 other children who I put to sleep in their cribs much sooner. They learned at earlier ages that they needed to go to sleep in their cribs instead of me rocking them to sleep. It was okay to do it once in a while, but not on a regular basis.

I think that you should never leave the room when your baby is crying hysterically. Like most of the moms said you should touch him in some way to assure him and make some soothing sounds or use something that makes soothing sounds until he falls asleep. I did this and little by little every night the crying was less until my daughter was used to going down at that time and would just fall asleep on her own. Theres nothing wrong with rocking your baby unless you really need for some reason to not do this anymore and in your position(pregnancy) you may want to try and get him to sleep in some other ways, but never let them "cry it out" on their own. Theres also nothing wrong with them sleeping with you either as long as you're safe about it, use a railing or one of those body positioners that keep them from being rolled over on. Unless you are terrified that they will never leave your bed in which case you have to weigh the pros and cons. Sure you may have a toddler that doesn't want to leave the bed but in my opinion its not that hard to break that pattern as long as you really try.

I was told by my peditrician not to rock our daughter to sleep. When she was just a few months old we would hold her rock her a little and put her in the bassinet where she would fall asleep. It never became a habit for her to be rocked to fall asleep. When she was 5 months and I went back to work I would try to put her to sleep at about 7:30 and she would fight it, cry etc. until 9 or 9:30 and then finally crash. It was miserable. I thought that 7:30 was the time babies were to go to bed. Our Ped. said keep her up late until she was sleepy. We were not to play with her so she did not think this was fun time. Sort of just do what we would be doing if she was in bed. When she was really sleepy then put her in bed. The first night I think she was up to 10. Each night she went in a little earlier. We did this and by the 3rd night she was going to bed by 8. This was the best time for her based upon when she go up in the morning around 7:30. She has not had any trouble going to sleep since. The problem was that her body wasn't ready to sleep when we wanted her to. She found her own time base on our schedule.
I never brought her to bed to fall asleep. I have heard stories that that is a hard habit to break.
Hope this helps. I think it is worth a try.

Ok, So I am a human development expert, graduated from UNH with a degree in child and family studies. What you do is encouraging him to get hysterical, because it gets you to pick him up. He has learned that you don't really mean it when you say it's bedtime. Also, 7 is too early for many babies.. or perhaps he has not had enough time awake since the last nap. Read up on it, and you will find that there are many methods to choose from. At that age with my daughter, I would have a consistent routine every night, then lay her down. She of coarse would get upset, because that is completely normal at that age. I would explain to her it was bedtime, and say good night. I'd go in if she cried but was consistant about only going in for a moment of comfort and reassurance that we are still there, still love her, and to make sure she was dry. Repeat until asleep (it usually only took fifteen minutes with her). You seem to be using too many methods. CHoose one. Stick to it, and your baby will learn that is what happens... Rocking is fine, Nursing to sleep, ok too, co-sleeping, fine, so is the cry-method with reassurance (I had a Doctor tell me to just leave the room and even if she puked not go back till morning - I quickly left that practice! That is absurd!) Anyway, I hope that helps. . . And the reason your child is clingy in the daytime is the same, 10 month olds have developed 1. object permanence and 2. the ability to realize what they want and manipulate (not in a negative way, just in a cause and effect innocent way) to get what they want. He is learning what works. The more you are there for him (it's not spoiling!!!) the better adjusted and healthier the attachment he will have. It's great that you are asking these questions! That in itself makes you a better mom, because you are even thinking about what is best... Choose a method and stick to it, and you and your child with both have smoother days and nights! Good luck!

I don't think it's wrong, but I think it's going to be a very hard habit to break!! When we switched my son to the crib he would do the same thing...I would let him cry. Then I would go in after about 10 mins and pick him up and stand next to his crib telling him it was ok, and rocking him back and forth in my arms and putting him back again...eventually they get used to it (Now he loves his crib and won't sleep anywhere else)!!! Good luck!!!

i don't think you are doing anything wrong..my 8 month old sleeps with my husband and i, and i have always laid down with her when she takes a nap..i usually end up getting up when she falls asleep. i have never been a follower of the cry it out strategy.

you are doing the 2 things that we did and were sorry about when my son @ 2 1/2 years developed a fear of sleep. The Sleep Lady Shuffle was our miracle. That's when you sit next to the crib touching and verbally assuring the baby that you are there and love him. The only thing you can't do is pick him up. stay in that position 3 nights until baby goes to sleep. 4th night you move your chair a little bit away from the crib and now it is just verbal assurance stay until the baby goes to sleep - every 3rd night you move further away from the crib and eventually out of the room. takes about 2 weeks. first 3 nights it totally did not look like it would work. our son would scream himself to sleep as i sat on and watched and calmly reassured him - 4th night he didn't scream!! it was a miracle.

DONT HAEVILY ROCK UR BABY THEYLL GET USED TO IT N WHAT EVER U DO DONT SLEEP WITH THE BABY IN THE SAME BED ..MY FRIENDS DAUGHTER SLEPT WITH HER TILL SHE WAS FIVE N MY NIECE IS THREE N THERRE STILL TRYING BREAK HER OUT OF IT...HAVE U A PACIFER N A THE LEAP FROG IT PLAY LULLABYS FOR SIX MINS WHEN U PRESS ITS NIGHTIME PAW IT WORKED FO MY NEPHEW N MY SON HE STOPS HIS CRYING N THEN FALLS BACK ASLEEP EVENTUALLY OR THE MOBILE WIND IT UP N GIVE THEM A PACIFIER OH N I DONT THINK THERES NETHING WRONG WITH ALIL BACK N FORTHIN THE CHAIR I DO IT JUST AS ITS NOT THOOSE HEAVY DEEP BACK N FORTH MOTIONS

I think you are doing a wonderful job, the only thing I'd forget about for now is even trying to put him in the crib before he's sleeping.
Obviously he's gonna wind up where he needs to be anyways and thats in his moms loving arms, my two youngest were very close in age I used to have one lying across my lap while i rocked the younger one off to sleep believe me it wasnt easy but it gets easier
you'll know when the time is right for the babe to gain some independence and you wont like it when it happens lol
they are babies for such a short while
just remember they arent "little tumors" lol thats my five year olds nick name because it seems she needs direct body to body interaction 70%of her waking hours and once in a while in her non waking moments these are the nights that she nneds me to sleep with her for some reason.Instead of getting stressed about it I bought a bigger bed ans snuggle her right in
what i did with my little parasites (LOLthats how it felt at times) was to give them what they needed then all of a sudden you will see him grow and bud and the time on your lap will be shorter or you'll beable to tell him you'll bee back in a minute to rub his back
you have a tough job
remember you, you are not just a mommy now you are still you and yiu must make sure yoi are doing nice things for yourself
be at peace your a great mom let the natural flow go
Hope I helped,wishinh you joy and peace,MB

Hi C.....what is happening with your baby is that he is smarter than you think he is. He now has learned that if he cries long enough and hard enough that you are going to give in and rock him or lay with him. Wouldn't it be great if someone would rock us to sleep or rub our backs until we drift off every night lol!!

My suggestion is this, it has worked with both of my children....

Put him down at nighttime 7 is a GREAT time as babies need alot of sleep.
When he gets hysterical DO NOT pick him up. instead you can calm him down either by patting his bum or his belly depending on how you have hm sleeping but don't pat him off to sleep....use words like "its ok, its sleepy time or nite nite time" try to use the same words each night.

When he is calm, walk away. he will cry more and become hysterical again probably. This could take you an hour or so for two weeks but two weeks should break his habit. He is going to try to break you...if you let him cry an hour and then give in, he will know each night that he needs to keep crying because you will give in.

Crying doesn't hurt and you are teaching him how to put himself to sleep. The longest my son ever cried was two hours and it lessened every day....now he is my dream sleeper!

If I can help some more, let me know. I don't like to let them get hysterical so I definitely pat his bum and eventually you don't even have to do that, they hear your voice and its enough.
Hope that helps
A.