Refuses Medicine, Medical Treatment, Etc.

The only choice with medical needs my children were ever given was whether to voluntarily comply. If they were scared I would be compassionate but I would hold them down. They are children, they don't understand need, that is why they have parents.

i think it's good parenting to allow children choices when possible and to start to accustom them to making choices and having some control over their lives.
to a point.
refusing medicine or medical treatment would never be an option in my family, and my body language and tone reflect that. calm, patient, inexorable. 'he won't let me' is just not acceptable.
khairete
S.

I've made this recommendation to you several times, J.. I seem to recall that you have mentioned before that you don't really believe in sensory integration problems. Regardless, I'll recommend again that you take him to an OT. It sounds like he has major sensory defensiveness. She can use "fun activities" to help him get used to being touched.

I'd also talk to the ped about strategies. I will tell you that I would not allow a child to not accept medicine. Even if they squalled to high heaven, I wouldn't give them the option to not have it. I have poured medicine down my kids' mouths while they were screaming, having been given the green light by my kids' ped nurse. In my mind, that's better than them ending up in the hospital full of IV's.

Good luck,
Dawn

When our son was just over 1 yr old he had pneumonia.
I had to put a mask on him for neutralizer treatments in spite of his kicking and screaming.
When it was time for his medicine I had to hold him down, pry open his mouth and squirt it into his cheek a few drops at a time till he swallowed it.
I devised a hold that pinned his arms and legs down while his head was between my thighs.
And we got through it without him landing in the hospital in an oxygen tent.
Because his refusing was not EVER an option.
An infant or toddler doesn't have the reason or logic - you can't talk him into it or bribe him.
If you have to rope and hog tie him (or wrap him up in a sheet so only his face is sticking out - it's what they do for cats) - he needs to take his medicine.

I had my first surgery when I was 6 months old. My second was when I was two. By the time I was three and having my third surgery, I'd had enough. (My mom tells me this story all the time.) I refused to let them put me in a hospital gown, or take the medicine to make me sleepy. I remember the ride in the bed down the long hall and seeing the lights go flashing by on the ceiling. Mom says after the surgery the doctor tells the rest of this.

I got into the room and was bawling my eyes out. I was terrified. I didn't want anyone to touch me. The anesthesiologist apparently came walking in, wearing Mickey Mouse scrubs (which the surgeon swears he'd never seen him wear before) and hands me the mask and asks me if I want to smell something weird. Dr. R (my plastic surgeon from the day I was born until the day he retired when I was 27), says that I just looked at him and shook my head yes. He then told me to smell the air in the mask and then take it off and tell him if it's different. I took a deep breath and then looked at the doctor. I then apparently took a few more deep breaths...which knocked me out.

Ask him if he wants to try the medicine first. Hand it to him, and let him decide. Give him options. Give him two medicines that will both help him put them both in a cup or syringe and ask him which he wants. (For instance, "Here's the strawberry and here's the grape. Which do you want?") When he chooses, hand it to him and tell him to take it. He feels like there is nothing under his control. Try putting it back in his control.

Good luck!

Not to be rude, but why is he making the decisions and why are you, as the parent, allowing him to say no to anything? His well-being is your responsibility and you seem to be letting him make the calls. Whether he wants to play with a truck or an airplane can be his decision. Whether he gets the medical attention he needs should never be a child's decision.

I would echo the advice of the moms who say to give him some choices and control over how to take the medicine. But not a choice about TAKING it. I realize that I have not had the same experience with having a child associating doctors and medicine with surgery or other traumatic things so young. But, I really wonder how much he remembers from the ages you describe, and how much of his anxiety is reading YOUR anxiety about it.

I'm not trying to blame, just wondering... it would certainly be logical for you to be apprehensive about Dr care and medications for him. Perhaps he has learned some anxiety about it from you. It is AMAZING how much kids mimic what they read from the adults in their world. I always tried to project to my kids that they could have some control, but that there was no question that they WOULD do certain things (taking medicine for example). Because, well, there really isn't a choice about it. BUT, they can choose to hold it themselves, to drink it from the measuring cup, to take it out of a syringe, to let me pour it in their mouths, etc... They can choose to take small sips, or drink it all in one shot. They can choose to follow it with water or with juice or gatorade. They can choose to hold the chaser drink or to let it sit on the counter until they are ready for it. And on and on and on. They can do it in the kitchen, they can do it in the bathroom, they can do it on their bed. Whatever. I usually had them in the kitchen just because that is where the meds were, and I'd call them to me to take them.
If they were sick in bed, then I took the meds to them and carried a hand-towel in case there was a spill (never once thinking they might spit it out or throw it up--although a towel would be handy for those too).

My son had bronchiolitis at 2 yrs, and had to have an x-ray. Husband had to hold him down on the table (while he was kicking and screaming) to have it done, b/c we thought I might be pregnant and I couldn't be in the room. Husband swore that day he would NEVER. EVER. do that again. Son was okay as soon as he was back in the treatment room and the scary machine was out of sight.

Son was in the ER at around age 5 (I suspect it was toxic synovitis--he couldn't walk--but they never diagnosed it). They had to draw blood. A couple of tubes. He was scared, upset and it hurt. But when we left the ER (eventually) he was walking and happy again.

He has pneumonia at age 11, and had to get 3 huge injections in his rump. He cried it hurt so bad. Was sore for DAYS where they did the injections. Swore off ever getting another shot of any kind. He now goes regularly (as in weekly) for allergy shots---to the same doctor.

I really think how things are presented, and the vibes YOU give off, have a HUGE impact on how kids respond to things. Take a deep breath, and be honest with your son. "Son, I know you don't like medicine, and I know you don't want to take it. But you have to take it so you can get better. You can take it by ____ or I can give it to you by ____ . Which way do you want to do it?" (and then wait. Let him think about it. Let him decide in his own time. It really won't matter if it takes him 5 minutes to decide. Let him ask questions. Be honest in your answers. "Will it taste bad?" "Maybe. Everyone's taste buds are different. It will be better than vinegar. But you can have ____ as soon as you finish swallowing. Do you want to hold ___ or do you want me to hold it for you until you are ready for it?"

Good luck with this. And remember, when he is 10, he isnt' going to remember any of this.

Bring someone to appts to help hold him down. I have to hold my kids down for their shots.

My first DS hated taking any meds. We had to hold him down to get them in. Lucikly there were not to many times that it had to be done. I tried every bribe in the world. If they are the type to refuse they will no matter what. I got his meds in liquid and put it in the med syringe. Then laid him down on the floor. I sat with my legs spread over his head where they pinned down his shoulders and arms and my thighs squeezed his head so he could not turn it. Then I put the syringe towards the back of his throat and squeezed. Then I pulled up his chin where he could not open his mouth till he swallowed. It was horrible and I felt soooo bad, but it had to be done. These were antibiotics for strep. He never got pain meds or anything because I would only put him through that if it was really important.

See if he would be willing to give himself the medicine. My son loves to be in charge of his medicine. He will pull the plunger to give himself liquid medicine and push it in to make it go in his mouth. He's 5 now and we started this when he was your sons age. Have something good to drink nearby for when it tastes yucky.

Watching doc mcstuffins might help. Visiting the doc for no reason to investigate the tools, meet the people, etc., might also help. Maybe the tech would let him put the gel on himself.

He probably feels that nothing is under his control at all when he's sick and it's just too much. Giving him as much control over some of the stuff as you can may be the key.

J., I totally understand this reaction and your son's association. He has generalized all medical procedures to be as bad as his others.

My youngest daughter burnt her hands on a fireplace when she was 13 months old. She was in the Peds ICU, followed by the burn center, followed by daily trips back to the burn center, then every other day, then twice a week, etc. until I could manage the 3rd degree burns at home. It. Was. A. Nightmare.

I had to change her dressings at home and often times alone. Fortunately, I was able to pre-medicate her before the dressing changes.

Needless to say, her fear of medical procedures was intense. I was working with a therapist at the time on some personal issues and discussed this particular situation with her. There are therapeutic techniques that helped us immensely, and others have already spelled out.

Give the power and choice to your son. He has to go back to doctors offices. He has to take certain medicines. Explain the procedures in as much detail as you know and give him the choice of either being a fantastic boy and doing what is necessary or you will bring a big man to hold him down.

You son can reason now. Prep him. Discuss what is important and necessary and walk him through the steps. Comfort him, hold him, hug him, tell him you are sorry he has to go through these test, but you are there for him and love him and this is what is best for him.

I do have one question....why would you give an allergy medicine for a condition that was not serious - yet? Why then would you even worry about using an Epi-pen? Why go there? Is there a severe reaction and history with this? If not, you do sound like you are feeding into the overall anxiety.

Has he ever been to the doctor for just a checkup? Maybe if he was around the doctor and didn't get shots, sonograms, or any other tests he would respond better. If every time he sees a doctor, something "bad" happens, of course, he's going to hate the doctor and medicine.

I had trouble when my daughter was 2 1/2 to get her to take medicine. I started giving her gummy vitamins and she started taking all types of medicine again.

Also, my daughter never hated the doctor, but ever since she started watching Doc McStuffins on Disney, she tells me she is sick all the time in hopes of going to the doctor.

Both of my older 2 kids had a fear of doctors and medicine, until my daughter was around 3 and my son was 5. They still have a difficult time with medicine. I would hide it in dark colored grape juice, enough to dilute the flavor of the medicine and disguise that it was in there. That worked for a while with my son. They now sell something called Ava the Elephant, which I have but haven't had to try. I think you put the medicine in her trunk and when she counts to 3 the kid opens up and she squirts it in. There is also flavor spray and a special sippy cup that you can put the medicine in with a liquid to disguise the taste. For my daughter, I had to resort to threats. I once told her that if she didn't let me squirt the medicine in her I was taking her to the ER, where there would be all kinds of things she didn't like and they would get the medicine in her. I felt horrible, but what can you do? At age 9, she will take some liquid medicine if she approves of the flavor.

As for the doctor visits, call your dr ahead of time and warn them. Our pediatrician told the techs not to take a weight, to leave it to her, and she came in with a dr kit that she let her play with. I also separate shots from the dr appt. I tell the dr we will come back another time for them as I want the dr and the visit to be associated with a happy pain free time.

I also had a terrible time with giving my son pain killer when he was sick, because he threw up after taking the medicine and thought that the medicine was to make him throw up! Of course I was not able to reason with him at that age... I was just trying to distract him and put the medicine at the back of his mouth so he cannot spit it out.

The nails I cut when he was watching a show (DVD or TV).

I recently heard of AVA the elephant, have not tried it but may be worth a shot:
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=125363...

I think it is available at CVS and some other stores as well...

Would you consider talking to your pediatrician on the phone and asking for some sort of therapeutic referral.This may be able to be dealt with in some sort of behavioral therapy capacity. I would really look into that option; your child needs to be able to relax and feel comfortable taking medication, and like many of the alternative suggestions (letting him administer it himself, for example), a therapist could also support you as you work to desensitize him to these actions. Ask for a behavior eval and see if you can specifically time giving your son his meds during the session, or if you could have your husband video what happens so they have a clear idea of how things play out.

While I have no easy answer to getting a child to
take medicine, I must point out that if you need to use the epi pen, USE the epi pen!!!
Benadryl or other oral allergy medicines will NOT prevent a life threatening reaction. If a reaction is mild, they are great to treat symptoms, but if it is anaphylaxis the ONLY way to slow down anaphlaxis until you get to the hospital is using epenephrine.
Ok, with that out of the way, my daughter had a horrible time taking any medicines, we tried the melt always, she spit them out. I would try to hold her mouth closed to no avail. When she was little I finally gave up and his liquid in her water bottle. I know she didn't get all the medicine right away, but it was just to treat symptoms, not save her life, so we settled there. When she was about five she was able to swallow small pills, and tolerates that very well.

You poor thing. Ugh. This is a tough age for medical procedures. If you can give him choices( the purple medicine or the red?). Reward charts are great for daily medicine taking with stickers and small rewards after 4 or 5 days. Also, play therapy with a doll or stuffed toy will help prepare for big days like ultrasounds. These things are super scary for 3 year olds. Play with the stuffed toy at home putting in the table, the cold jelly, holding still etc. How are you bear? Let the child answer. It may take time but this really is a terrible age for this stuff. They have a fear of altered body parts( holes that dint close etc). He must take his medicines. Period. Even if you hold him down and squirt it in holding his mouth shut. It is not fun but he must see medicine as non negotiable. Can you check at your local hospital and see if they have a child life department? They are trained to help with these exact problems and are heaven sent. Hang in there!! You're doing great. This will get easier!!!

So sorry, you are in a very stressful situation and so is your little one.
Check out Restorative Health Care in Glen Ellyn IL, Dr. Heather W. is wonderful and she helped my son who has severe allergies in such a miraculous way! Thank God for her! She can help get to the core of what is really going on with your little one.

http://rhcpc.com/

Hi mom. One thing that I do for my Michael is I let him do a sugar chaser after taking medicine that he dislikes. I put a little in a bowl and let him dip his finger in, (either before or after-whatever he likes). This has helped alot in the past. I figured, a little sugar wont hurt him if the payoff is that he takes his meds. If sugar is not his passion, what is? Choose that. As far at the nails go....get creative. For Michael, I bought a cheap pair of material gloves, cut the tops off of each finger and called them "his special fingernail cutting gloves". This was enough to distract him and allow me to cut them. Sounds odd, but sometimes by adding a new and distractive element can make the difference. QAnnie