D.P.
I am right there in the middle of FIRST GRADE DRAMA! LOL
My son is a sweet, softspoken little boy. He talks very little about what happens in school. Although he is straight A's and loves school--not a talker. Because of his compliant nature, I always worry about him being bullied.
I also know that the teachers are dealing with this times twenty and their eyes and ears cannot be everywhere at once. My son is very proud of the fact that he's never gotten "off the green light" in Kinder or "off the bulleye" in first grade (so far!) but the thought of another kid pushing him around just about makes me puke.
Here's what I told him (and on some levels I cannot believe these words were coming out of my mouth) "If someone uses words against you, use words back, never touch another kid first or start a fight. BUT if someone hurts you, punches, pushes, etc., punch the kid...once...and HARD and it will most likely never happen again. You might get into trouble in school, but you will not be in trouble at home."
He looked at me like I was crazy (so did my husband) but I am not going to let my kid be bullied or pushed around. his personality is such that he fears getting into trouble at school, he loves school so I highly doubt he will ever initiate a physical confrontation.
As for punishment for your daughter, I feel she earned her skating trip from her honor roll achievement (woo-hoo!) and you & hubby need to agree on a punishment ahead of time (no DS, computer, etc.) and ask the teacher to let you know via email if ANYTHING happens so you can get on it right away!