I'm not the jealous type- I can't understand it. Well, I can comprehend why someone would be jealous, but jealousy seems SO far away from my thoughts. Not bragging, not insinuating that I'm better of than anyone else, etc...
What am I getting at? I'm VERY, VERY uncomfortable when others are "jealous" of me... whether it is directly told to me in a serious tone, me getting major vibes, something heard through the grapevine, or someone's just casually saying 'I'm jealous!" in attempt to compliment me or others. I don't think it should be a casual comment, but I know it would be quite presumptuous of me to consider this request as a good start to changing a common phrase.
I DO have positive things in my life (I'm fairly pretty, have a happy marriage, four lovely kids), but so do other people! I don't think I'm any better than anyone else, and vice versa... you know... whatever for whomever... I also have down falls...a BIG one would be the fact that I'm the opposite of rich:)
SO, it made me think hypothetically. IF I got jealous, would I prefer being jealous of someone or someone being jealous of me? By feeling so incredibly uncomfortable of having the (what I call) "burden" of others looking at you as better off and are jealous of you, I'd MUCH rather have the roles switched and be the jealous one.
I know, silly thought. REALLY Just For Fun people!!! What would you all prefer?
I STILL have women mad I married Rob and took him off the market!! It's funny. Jealously is an ugly look; it suites no one ;)
I relish and bask in the green glow of other women's jealousy!! HA!
I'm jealous of you that you have people jealous of you.
tehehe
No one's jealous of me, least not that I've ever noticed, hmmm.
:)
My take on jealousy is that the person that is jealous of someone else is either not happy with themselves and their life or they have super low self esteem and wish that they were in someone elses skin. I personally have been jealous in the past because I have low self esteem but I dont think I am the materialistic type that always wishes I had what others do. I am very happy and blessed to have what I have and I am smart enough to know that the grass is definitely not always greener on the other side
Jealous = I want what I *think* you have.
Jealousy is a feeling. Our emotions are just another of the bodies miraculous tools to let us know what's going on (and why).
Jealousy doesn't bother me. Acting / reacting out of jealousy DOES bother me. If someone wants something they *think* I have? Fine. If someone treats me like garbage because of it? No dice.
This is a very interesting topic. I have been one, who has been told they are jealous of me. Back in high school, it was part of the whole "girl bullying" thing that came to a head. I finally asked one of my frienemies WHY she treated me like she did. She said it was because she was jealous. Well, fast forward 15+ years, and I still feel those scars.
I am now the mother of 4 and very settled into a great life with great kids, husband, etc. There is a couple other mothers who have more...money. I'm comfortable in my appearance and the way my kids have turned out so far. But, our great friends have recently started hanging out with a family who has been very "Vocal" about how much they have, how much land they own, all their...STUFF. It has plagued me, this family. The mom makes such a point of letting everyone know all that they have. It bugged me for so long. Then, I started thinking about it...we had been at one of the football games and this mom and dad were sitting by themselves. We had a big group of people. I organized a "girls night" the next weekend. I think part of the problem was that this mom was just..not so great at making a first impression. She was very generous with her time, but kept trying to force herself and their possessions on everyone. I thought maybe that was her way of making friends. We went out and had a great time. I think the whole "posession" thing is part of her personality, but I have gotten to know her better, and I think there's a good heart under there.
It's so hard to be a parent in these societies. I keep telling myself that if I'm true to my own family, I'm ok. We may move away or change schools. The paths I have laid will have been for not. I answer to my kids and my husband. If I am a good wife and mom, it's all good. I do my best and if that's "stellar" by some people's standards, but "less than" by others.....ok. I'm doing the best I can and my family is my judge and jury.
a very good question!
I have seen 1sthand how destructive jealousy can be....& in each case, it stems from a serious lack of self-esteem. My Dad, my FIL, my Gma....& many others in my life...have all had issues. My Dad destroyed his marriage thru this. My FIL was sooo jealous that he couldn't even stand for the gkids to sit on his wife's lap! My Gma is 90 & still displays jealousy. Not good things.
Because of these destructive influences in our lives, my Mom/Sis/I try very hard to avoid that deathtrap.
So my answer to you would be: NO jealousy anywhere in my life. That would be my choice! I don't ever want to feel that demon....& I don't ever want anyone to be jealous of me!
I had friends, 20 years ago, who were jealous of my family life. We had a satellite, preferred it over cable. They had cable. I ran into them one day & said, "if you have HGTV, then my Mom's village is on....." The husband actually stood there & said, "sorry, we just can't live up to your lifestyle. We only have basic cable". OMG, how self-destructive is saying something like that!
Another time, I was with the wife & some other friends. We were talking about Christmas shopping & one of the moms said that she was going to have to run into the city, because she couldn't find anything on her kids' lists in our small town. The wife actually said, "I am so ashamed that I can only buy here. I think it's rude for you to even mention being able to shop elsewhere". WTHeck? How crazy is that? She regularly hit craft shows & antique sales all over the state....& yet tried telling us that she could "only" shop locally due to lack of $$. Insane!
Many, many similar experiences with this family....until the relationship ended. I cannot abide by jealousy from either end as the result of this friendship! .....again, great question!
Back when I was a teenager, I definitely felt jealous and insecure. But that has gone away. I can't really remember the last time I felt jealous, but I do remember what an awful feeling it was. I don't feel jealous of other women, pretty or not, talented or not, rich or not. As cheesy as it sounds, I feel a lot more love for people than I used to. I typically like everyone and enjoy their company...even if they are very different than me.
When it comes to people feeling jealous of me, I don't like that. I've had it with some of my sisters for various reasons. I've had friends seem jealous. I'm not sure what they are jealous of exactly, but it is a very uncomfortable feeling.
If I had to choose to feel one way or the other, I would prefer to deal with people being jealous of me because when I felt jealous of other people, I also felt insecurities and hurt feelings and low self esteem. In order for me to feel jealous again, I think all those other feelings would have to come too in order for me to feel that way! But I really don't like either. What a funny question...hehe.
Jealousy must go away when you get older, my friends and I dont ever use the term, but it was a hot topic in highschool and probably for part of my 20's. I've never been a jealous person, but lots of my girlfriends were, and my EX was a very jealous person.
I use the term pretty casually if I use it at all. Actually my SIL just lost her job due to some downsizing at her plant, I told her I was jealous when she told me she was filing for unemployment. But it was meant as a compliment and was taken as such.
oooh man!! thought provoking question!!!
I might say "I'm jealous" to someone when they have something that I like but know I won't buy for myself.
I guess if it was me - i would rather have people jealous of me rather than me being jealous of someone else!!
However, I think jealousy is over-rated....instead of focusing on what it is perceived what you want - be happy and feel blessed with what you do have!!! I know people with money (many would consider rich) and they aren't happy. I know people with "things" and they covet their "things" but aren't happy....
Like you - I am happily married - not saying it's perfect - but it works for us! and am blessed with two beautiful boys and a daughter...I've had some GREAT life experiences!!! I try to think of the glass as half-full instead of half-empty!!
LOVE THE QUESTION!!!
I would much rather have people jealous of me. I dont like the color green on me.
I am never jealous of people but I will say I am jealous of something as a compliment of something. Sometimes it is just a compliment, nothing more, no real jealousy. Just like I don't really hate someone that I tell I hate you for looking so good all the time with a smile on my face.
Maybe you should be jealous of those that can tell the difference. :p
It doesn't bother me if someone is jealous of me, I can't control it anyway. I can't see there ever being a situation where I am jealous of others other than the scenario I described last week on a similar question. I am jealous of those who are in the direction of traffic that is moving when mine is not.
I guess I don't use the word jealous.
I will say to someone " I have house envy or van envy" But seriously it is meant as a compliment. No one drives a better vehicle than me anyway. I LOVE my van. lol I am being facetious here.
I told my friend the other day I had hair envy. She had just gotten her hair cut and the stylist had done it real pretty updo for that day.
There is really no reason for anyone to be jealous of me.
Maybe it would be nice to know that someone was a bit jealous, I don't know.
This is the silliest post. Sorry, I know I should say nothing at all but I'm having a hard time biting my tongue!!
