Questions for All the Teachers Out There...

I'm not a teacher, K., but I just couldn't stand not to respond. I want to thank you for asking all the questions I've wanted to ask, but couldn't exactly find words for. So very anxious to read the responses!

Making sure your child is prepared and all assignments are being kept up with is HUGE. Kindergarteners in our area do get homework in the form of a Reading Log (must read or be read to at least 4 x a week) and some beginning concept worksheets as well as some projects from time to time (100s day, Getting To Know Us...etc.). They also have a folder that is a KEY piece in the home-school relationship. Please use these tools to you and your child's advantage in keeping the lines of communication open.

I LOVE parent volunteers, but only volunteer if you know you will be available and if you know that your child will not have any issues with it. Otherwise, it can be more of a hinderance to the classroom.

Supplying items on a wish list is FABULOUS and takes a lot of the cost off of the teacher who ends up making the purchases if the items are not donated.

Gifts: I do not expect or need them, but who doesn't like something that shows some appreciation, lol! I love gift cards, a book I can add to the class library, or something the child made more than anything else. I would rather not get lotions, soaps, and candles....but am still thankful when I do and still find a way to use them. :)

Contacting: I would prefer my school email or a note be used if it is something that does not need a lenghty conference like discussion. If you feel the need to have a conference or discussion, feel free to call the school. Sometimes the secretary gets busy and I may not get the message in a decent amount of time, so again a note or email stating your concern and that you'd like a conference will allow me to contact you back and set up a time to have a phone conference or face to face meeting.

No-No- Do not complain about me unless you have told me what you feel I am doing wrong. I can't help you or fix the wrong if I don't know it is there. Ex- This past year (the only time it has ever happened), I had a child's parents go straight to the principal to complain that I had called them for no reason and was interrupting them at work and they did not want me to call them for ANY reason...EVER. The reason I called was that their child appeared sick and was complaining of feeling ill.......I was not happy about having to have a meeting with my superior about why I was a "complaint". Thank goodness the principal stood behind me and told the parents so, but even so, it was a HUGE annoyance.

Hope this helps and I am so thankful for parents like you! :)

Be involved in your kids school experience. Go to meetings, mom's or dad's day, etc. Trust the teacher and the child. Don't unpack your child's backpack at school each day. You will have to get to know your teacher. I like for a parent to see me in the hall and ask if I need anything. Sometimes I couldn't get the copies that I needed and she could take care of that for me. Other teachers HATE that. It just depends on the teacher. I appreciate supplies for the classroom and having a back-up parent who will run to the store just before the party to get items that didn't show up when we were expecting them. Gifts are always fun. My favorite are gift cards to places like starbucks, staples, a local restaurant, or sonic. I also like things the kids make and nice notes from the parents. I have more coffee cups than I will EVER use. Ask the teacher how she prefers to be contacted. I prefer e-mail and can get in tough much faster that way. Most teachers send a letter home telling when his/her conference time is. Don't expect to talk to the teacher everyday. Just a simple hello or do you need anything will do. If you want to talk about your kiddo, schedule a conference, don't ask how is "kid" doing when you pass in the hall. Little things like a drink from sonic when you go to the school to eat lunch with your child is nice. A small bag of m&m's occasionally let's the teacher know that you are appreciative and approachable. I can't wait to see the answers. I have been teaching for 13 years but my oldest starts kinder this year. I don't want to be "that" parent either (especially, since we are on the same campus). Good Luck this year.

The best parents that I remember ever having - I think what made me like them so much was 1. They always smiled 2. They gave me the benefit of the doubt, not accusing me of doing something wrong, but just talking to me like a normal person, knowing I had their child's interest at heart 3. They always came togther. I rarely just saw mom or just saw dad. They were often together. It might have been a lot of their personality. I think I hugged them instead of shaking their hands - they were just like that.

Anyways -- just letting the teacher know that you are available to grade papers, or collate copies, or make class sets of things, or die-cut letters or animals, or design her bulletin board ...... If you tell her what you are willing to do, then that'd be great. Some teachers love doing the bulletin board, but hate standing at the laminator. But some schools don't let volunteers use the copy machine or laminator. Some teachers would love for you to work in the hallway or sit next to a child who is either the gt kid or who's falling behind. Supplies are ALWAYS welcome.

Gifts I've kept: hmmm. not a whole lot. I get a lot of junk. I'm sure I've eaten plenty of chocolate and popcorn and chips. My classroom had 'frog' decor and I kept any or all cute frogs. A frog mug (for pens) and an apple (teacher) memo clip I kept.
Gifts I've tossed/Goodwilled: a half a bottle of nasty perfume, stuffed animals, more stuffed animals, a flat hair iron, little figurines
I'd rather get a massage or manicure gift card, but my children were never so 'rich'

I've only emailed with 2 parents in all of my 5 years of teaching. I have to say it is SO much easier on me to email though. I can only call you from school when I am at school. I didn't want to call from my cell phone on the way home. So I was stuck at school making phone calls. Not fun. I like email.

General no-nos? Anything that makes the teacher feel like she's not in control of her own classroom (taking over, telling her she's wrong, etc).

gotta run or I may go on and on.

label all your kids things so mittens, boots, bookbags, lunchboxes are easy to identify.

Ask the teacher how she wants to be contacted (email, phone, or notes) and what you can do to volunteer we're all different. school librarians also love volunteers
Send your daughter to school in clothes she can manage, cute overalls and belts only if she can go to bathroom all by herself. velcro sneakers unless she can tie, teach her to zipper, make her sweater right side out if inside out and get boots and shoes on the right foot (would you like to dress 22 kids at once on a snowy day?)
Usually one mom collects donations from the other mom to buy one nice gift card for the teacher, it's really very thoughtful that way. add a note or picture made by your child to be more personal.
Remember kids arent always the best communicators, they say they did nothing at school, they say they played Legos ALL day long, they sweetly give away their Silly bands, Pokemon cards and other belongings and then want them back and go home complaining the kids took them from them. They're not liars, but they have their own perspective.
If your child has food allergies make it very clear to us what they can and cannot eat. and if you want your child to be organic or vegan think about being a little lenient from time to time so they can occasionally enjoy a Holiday party I've seen kids cry cuz they dont know if the fruit is organic, or they ran out of water from home and dont think they can refill from the water fountain just this once.
Read everything we write to you and you'll know what supplies we're asking for, when your invited for special occasions and what we're doing in school. It's frustrating when we take the time to write letters and notes and they just sit in the child's backpack for days and weeks.
label everything!
Thanks for asking!

Parents can make our lives easier in a bunch of ways. Just the fact that you are asking the question makes me realize that you will be great parent in the eyes of a teacher. Basically, just paying attention to how your child is doing, helping with homework, reading notes from the teacher and going to conferences does SO much to help a teacher out. If your child goes to school well fed and ready to learn, half the teacher's work is done.

Supplies and volunteering of time are valuable. Every year I have taught has been different. Some years, there are not many parents that volunteer and that is more needed. Other years there are too many volunteers. I would just straight out ask the teacher these questions.Every teacher and classroom and grade level are going to vary. Again, just asking is wonderful.

I like gifts around the holidays, but cards with personal messages from the parents AND cards made by the kids are the best. Gift cards are nice too - to Barnes and Noble, Target,or somewhere else general. I always gave coffee shop ones to friends since I don't (shock!) drink coffee. I loved ornaments made by the student with their name on back- keep them and hang on the tree. I was always weary of homeade food items-rarely eat em. Also, not a big fan of anything that says "best teacher" or has apples or whatever. SO CHEESY and dumb. A cool gift I got one year was a hand held vacuum. My students always dropped a zillion little 3 hole punch paperscraps all over and she wanted me to not have to pick em up by hand anymore! Thought that was so thoughtful and cute.

For parent contact method, the teacher would be the person to ask about for the time of day and the method of contact. It varies wildly teacher to teacher.

No no's? Never showing interest in your child's school activities, homework, etc is a no-no. So is yelling at a teacher because "my child would never do ____." Teachers don't like calling parents because students have issues- of course they aren't going to make up stuff. Finally, you cannot expect your child to get 1 on 1 attention. They are not the only one in the class all day. Teachers work hard to teach to individual needs-give em a break.

Great question! This is my 6th year teaching 2nd grade and this fall my little guy is starting preschool so I will be on both sides.

First, if you are even aware of "that mom" it won't be you. She is usually clueless about her status :)

Like others have said, trust the teacher and at least get her side of the story before automatically siding with your child. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Staying involved with your child, asking him/her what's going on at school, helping with HW, reading emails/letters, all are helpful. Say a quick HI in the morning, but do not come in to chat. It's too busy of a time!

Donating supplies is great, as well as helping out with class parties, field trips, etc. I have lots of great parent volunteers who I love. If you do volunteer, be reliable about showing up, on time. And let the teacher know in advance if you can't make it. Don't stay to chat for a long time when you are done volunteering. We have a class to teach!

Gifts: As cheesy as it sounds, a handwritten note (from parent or child) is super sweet and means a lot. Gift cards (Target, coffee shop, restuarant) are great, too. About 1/2 of my kids give gifts and I am in a fairly wealthy school so don't feel like you HAVE to give. Going in with others for a larger amount gift card is great, too.

Email works best for me since I can reply (within 24 hrs) when I have time. If it's more serious, you can call me after school.

I loved having parents offer to volunteer for an activity of their choosing. One parent asked if she could come in to make cookies with the children. She brought all the supplies, led the lesson, and I helped her. She stayed to clean up and had printed copies of the recipe for all the backpacks. Another parent offered to host snack and craft time on Chinese New Year. Another parent offered to read in the book corner to any child who chose to come over, during free choice time. That was successful everytime, whether her child came to that center or not. I'm sure every teacher enjoys a different kind of volunteering, but these were my favorites. And as for extra nice parenting, I would often have one parent, who would put extra money in her envelope for field trips, with a little note that this might help pay for any child whose family could not. As I paid for many a field trip, this kindness was deeply touching.

I love this question and all the thoughtful responses! Great info and ideas. Thank you K. and all of you who responded. I'm bookmarking this post.

Hi K.,

I am a new teacher, just starting my first year of teaching. I can tell you my thoughts from my short student teaching experience and from having been an active parent volunteer. I hope it helps!

First, I would like to say that I think it is great that you want to be an active parent in your child's education. That's a great start right there! In my opinion just being there for your child, supporting them at home, and reinforcing the learning he or she did at school is a great help. Don't let your child get away with telling you "nothing" happened at school all day. Have he or she tell you one or two specific things that were learned each day. Or do "high" and "low" of the day. I learned so much from my girls about what was happening at school by using these two methods.

To make the teacher's day easier, please be sure your child has had adequate sleep and has eaten breakfast and has a healthy lunch and snack prepared. I would also suggest talking to your child about positive character traits. If the school does Character Counts or another character education program, learn what that is. Reinforce those values by using the same lingo at home. When my oldest daughter was in Kindergarten that was such a blessing for everyone! We were all able to be on the same page as far as expectations for behavior.

As far as parents helping out, I think each teacher is going to be different. Right now, for example, I don't need parent volunteers in my classroom. As a new teacher I am still trying to get in the groove of managing myself and the students without directing a parent. I don't want to waste their time. In the future, though, I will be sure to use parents to help with centers! Whatever the teacher asks for, they need. Supplies are VERY helpful when a teacher sends home a wish list.

As far as gifts, I love anything that I can put back into the classroom. Gift cards for teaching supply stores, bookstores, and office supply stores are useful. I had one child give me a gift card for the grocery store when I was working as an aide one year. It was really sweet, and I enjoyed that because I got to go pick some foods that were fun without worrying about the grocery budget. The gifts that I wind up regifting are scented candles, perfumes, lotions, and things that may not agree with me as I am sensitive to those things. Please keep the gifts low in cost, as some teachers have a limit of what they can accept and/ or feel awkward about gifts that seem expensive.

Again, I hope that my thoughts have been helpful. I might have a completely different answer in a year, but these thoughts are based on my experience as an aide and student teacher.

Have a great school year!