Questions About CIO Method for a 7 Month Old

I was in your shoes when my son was 5 months old. It was a month of waking up every hour for me. I was desperate for any solution. I even posted on this board about my problem. I also considered CIO. I tried it once but I couldn't stand to hear my son cry so I gave it up. I finally discovered that he was having gas pains. We treated the problem and he slept better. He's still not sleeping through the night at 7 months now but he wakes up only twice a night and I'd take that over waking up every hour.

It's going to be a tough adjustment for him if he's used to co-sleeping and being nursed back to sleep. He has not learned to soothe himself (as you know). I did not co-sleep but still at 6 months had to let my daughter CIO. It is extremely painful for everyone BUT sooooo worth it. Your son should be taking a couple of naps a day as well as his night time sleep. Figure out a routine that works best for you and do it for both bedtime and naps(with the exception of a bath at both times, of course). Your son is used to having Mommy close so be prepared for him to really fight the change. You need to decide ahead of time what you are going to do and stick to your guns. It will work if you're consistant. I have found that most people who say that CIO didn't work weren't consistant. My pediatrician told me that the worst thing you can do is let your child cry for an hour and then go in his room at an hour and five minutes. Also, a friend that I had talked to when I was deciding if I was going to let my daughter CIO told me to view it as "giving my child the gift of sleep." It sounds so corny, but it's true and everyone in the house is much happier and better rested now. Good luck to you. I know how tough this decision and process is.

I've been in your shoes twice. An important point to remember is ALL babies are different. One approach may work for one baby but not another. That is why there are so many parenting books out there. My first was not a good sleeper right from the start. My 2nd slept great the first six months, then started waking up every 2 hours. I did not have the heart to let them CIO. I figure with the exception of the western world, the rest of the world's babies sleep right next to their moms. And so do all babies in the animal kingdom. And that is where nature intended babies to sleep.
So try the advice from other moms and if it doesn't work out, so be it. Have your baby next to you, you both get a better night's sleep. Use one of those soothing sounds machine so that not every rustling of the sheet wakes hubby or baby up.
Enjoy your baby. In a year or so, you will look back and miss snuggling with that precious bundle of joy.

Hi,
Totally know what you;re saying... i did the CIO method and it worked wonders for me... mine was 6 months old, and i was nursing, so he'd go to sleep at 8, wake up at 2 and then again at 5...and yeah, the 6 hour strech was great, but at that age he didnt need the 2 am feeding anymore... i had to do it.. i was misserable, it took me forever to fall back asleep after every feeding, and by the time i fell asleep, it was time to wake up again... i felt guilty for letting him cry, felt like a terrible mother at first, but you have to do whats best for you and your family... this is how i did it (and i had to wait for my husband to go out of town to do it, because he cant handle it, and for me to calm them both down was just too hard).. anyway, thats what i did: he woke up, i waited for 1 minute, went in and said "honey, mama's here, go back to sleep, i love you"... dont touch him, dont pick him up... LEAVE!!! cries again, wait 2 minutes, repeat, dont touch, LEAVE!!!!, then 3 minutes, then 5, then 8, then 12, then 15, then 20.. and 20 again.. and 20 again...my doctor told me this could go on all night... but it didnt.. as long as you consistanly keep going back and increasing the time, he'll get the point.. you're not being a bad mother, bad person... you're teaching your child how to self southe himself... at this point he doesnt know how to fall asleep on his own, and its our job to teach our children how to be self seficient and independent... the first night it took in total of 30 minutes of crying, the next night 15, the night after that, 5 minutes, and never again a 2 am wake up.. i kept the 5 am till he was about 1.5... i was nursing, so i felt like he needed it... More sleep makes a happier baby and a happier mommy... it took me 3 days, it might take you a little longer, and in a long run, its not damaging to their nerves or their self esteem, they will still love you in the morning and need you, and no, they wont resent you for making them cry...babies cry, it happends... my baby is 2.5 now, almost, and yes, here and there he wakes up at night, but then he goes back to sleep because HE KNOWS HOW... just be consistant, stick to it, and hopefully it will work for you... good luck...

Hi M.,

I totally, totally sympathize. It seems sleep issues are the main thing we deal with doesn't it?
I agree with what everyone's said. I thought I'd also share my experience.
I tried the CIO method with my daughter with my own alterations. I would do everything suggested unless she REALLY got herself crying hard. I would then pick her up, rock her until she calmed down and then put her back in her crib. For me it was just key that she learned to go to sleep on her own since she required us to rock her to sleep every night. Eventually she would get so tired she would fall asleep on her own in the crib. I had to do this for about a week. She then started falling asleep on her own with minimal fussing and crying. I know they say never pick them up but that's what worked for us. It just goes to show how EVERY baby is not the same and you should feel free to adjust to your own babies needs.
I hope you figure it out soon. Hang in there. I know it's not easy!!

This is a hard thing to see our child go through. It's not only you though. So don't feel bad.

If he is getting up every hour, and it seems like you've tried everything.... well I'm not real sure. But, which ever method you try, you have to try it for several days... to see if the routine will work and you have to give the baby time to adjust to it. Don't do a "new" routine every day... that is too much confusion and inconsistency for them. Babies and children learn by repetition... and "knowing" what comes next.

He is also 7 months... is he rolling over yet on his own? Many times, by this age, putting them on their tummy can help them to sleep better. But this is debatable, in light of SIDS. Personally, my son sleeps better on his tummy or on his side. When we got older, he just did this himself.

Also, since you are nursing, you want to make extra sure that he is getting enough intake. Meaning, is he latching on appropriately and suckling properly? The reason I ask is, MANY times, it may seem like just because baby is at the breast, it's assumed they are suckling and drinking. But in actuality, they may not be a good nurser or not have adequate suckling to where is is productive. IF this is the case, then, they are not getting in enough intake and may actually be hungry. I have seen this many times with friends.... their baby cries a lot and does not sleep well... but after seeing a Lactation consultant, it was found that their baby was not actually nursing well, thus, not getting in enough milk/calories. One Mom I know, even had to supplement with formula, and make sure her baby was taking it in. After doing this, their baby started to sleep... and not wake up all night, nor cry all night. The baby was basically starving. This was not until about 5 months old, that they figured this out.

Maybe your baby is just hungry and not getting in enough intake? Do you know how many ounces he drinks per sitting?

Also, each baby is different, with different personalities and temperaments. My oldest for example, was a very light sleeper and she is "noise" sensitive, even to this day. As a baby, it was not easy getting her to nap or sleep at night. Any noise would wake her up. My son on the other hand, has no problem sleeping and takes to his routine very well.

Also though... does anyone, you or Hubby, "snore" or move around a lot at night when sleeping? The reason I ask is, this can wake up a baby. Think about it.. .even as adults, snoring can be disturbing for the spouse, interrupting one's slumber. You might what to think about this too. Since you are co-sleeping.... maybe try putting him to bed in a crib or something.

I have not been big in doing the CIO method for my own kids. But here and there I did try. But it didn't work. What I found was best, is just keeping up a consistent routine, same sleep times, same sleeping place, same everything EVERYDAY.

Also, maybe he is just over-tired. At this age, they typically take 2 naps a day, morning and afternoon. With a time span of about 2-3 hours in between of "awake" time. Put him down to sleep when he is still awake, not when he is already asleep. Same time everyday. Same place everyday. This has worked with both my children, even though my eldest child was harder. He needs to learn to self soothe. I know it's not easy... my eldest child did not sleep through the night until she was about 4 years old. LOL. Yah, not easy. I was breastfeeding too, both of my children.

Maybe, he has problems with gas? My girl was like that and it really made her fussy and hard to sleep as well. Or, perhaps he has "reflux?" You might want to consider this as well.

Sorry I don't have a silver-bullet cure-all answer for you... but just wanted to share some thoughts and personal experiences. Hope it helps...
Take care and good luck,
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

You received some great advice already about the consistency in routine (definitely most important) and two naps 2-3 hours between waking. I just wanted to address your question on the CIO method. It can work, but it is sooo stressful on you, probably more than the baby, and really, if he is soothed by your presence, then there's no need to let him completely CIO. I recommend doing the 5, 10, 15, 20 minute CIO method instead. Do your whole routine, put the baby down and rub his belly and whisper a song or something for about 5 minutes. Leave the room. If he cries hard, return in 5 minutes and rub his belly and whisper a song again (even if you think he can't hear you over his crying), but only stay in there for 2 minutes or less. Leave, and if he's still crying after 10 more minutes, repeat. Keep doing that, increasing the amount of crying time by 5 minutes each time until you get to 20 minutes. If he's still crying just as hard after an hour as he was when you first put him down, go ahead and pick him up and then try again maybe an hour later. If he sounds like he has mellowed out, you might want to continue waiting another 20 minutes after the last round to see if he'll fall asleep. It may take a few days or more, but eventually he'll learn to fall asleep quickly on his own. My son usually still cries for about 5 to 10 minutes before falling asleep, but I rarely have to use that method anymore because I know he'll fall asleep (and these days he often gets more riled up by my presence anyway).

Please note: if you choose to use this method, do not pick him up at all during the soothing times (unless it's obvious he's soiled himself and you need to change him). Also, my son wouldn't sleep through the night until I weaned him off the pacifier completely. Hope this helps you out!