Question to Keep Back

usually it is recommended that a child move forward with their peer group rather than repeat a grade. This is the standard recommendation by developmental pediatricians because children that move forward so better in the long run

Hi K.,

I am a sahm with 4 kids. 2 are on IEPs. One in 7th and one in Kindergarten. Before you decide to keep your daughter back, you should make sure she is receiving all the services she needs. And make sure they are the appropriate ones. I have friends that have held back successfully. I also have friends that have held back back their child without getting the services they needed and it did not have any benefit.

I would go and talk to her teacher about it.

Hi, K.,

We just went through this yesterday during our daughter's IEP meeting. We began the process by talking with her teacher. We also checked in with her other special ed. teachers. Once we knew there was agreement, we made sure the IEP team knew our concerns. Remember the final decision to retain your daughter in first grade is ultimately yours. So if you feel she gains "ground" by repeating first grade, go for it. Even though our daughter is doing well academically, there are other issues (like developmental delay and lack of safety awareness) that inhibit her ability to be totally successful in the first grade and she needs another year to build a good foundation. I feel one of the best times to retain is in first grade.

Good luck,
S.

Hi K.,

My heart goes out to you! As moms, we all want the best for our children and it can be tough when life throws a curve ball your way. I have an almost 8 year old and a 7 year old (both boys) and I did have isues with my oldest when he was a little younger, he is doing OK now. It had to do with is speech and comprehension.

The first thing I would do is have a meeting with her teacher. Find out what her opinion is about keeping her back. She works with your child each day, so she should have a good grasp on how she is doing.

Because the IEP is in place, that protects your child and allows her to get the help she needs. That said, as a mom, you should stay on top of it and ask for constant feedback from her teachers.

Until you can get the info from the teacher, I wouldn't make any decisions yet. Start making calls to the school and the IEP team. What are her grades like? Maturity level? Social skills?

If they come back with they feel she is ok to advance forward, I think she would be OK, as they are not going to move forward a child for the sake of moving her forward (Generally speaking). If they feel she is struggling, they probably should have already spoken to you about it. If they haven't I'm surprised about that. You could also look into a summer school option and if she has an IEP that should not be too difficult to find out or get her into it.

The bottom line is you want to make a decison that is best for your daughter. My advice is make an "informed" decision. Leave no stone unturned and get as many answers to your questions as possible before deciding.

Good luck to you! Please keep us posted!!

Hi K.,

Your daughter should be on an IEP. If your school has a Special Ed Dept. you should talk to them. My son has A.D.H.D.
I didn't think he'd qualify for an IEP, but I wanted him to be on a 504 Plan. Even after his diagnosis, even as the school staff watched him struggle, they just kept giving me the run around about putting him on a 504 Plan. I finally called a Parent help line and the Supervisory Union of the school and complained. Only then did they take me seriously and did what they needed to do to help my son.
If staff seem to be dragging their feet about getting help for your daughter, don't be afraid to make waves. You are the best advocate for your child. Good luck! P.

Hi K.,
I am a sped teacher and a Mom. It is possible to keep a child back on an IEP but as always... there is a lot involved. Academically, it may seem as though it is a good move, but remember there is a lot more to school than that. How is se emotionally? Has she made some great friends that will be moving on? How will that affect her? If you are considering this, the best thing to do is call the educational team together. Talk with your daughter's Sped teacher and she will arrange a meeting with all members of her educational team. A decision (which is ultimately yours because you sign the plan) will be made with all knowledgable parties involved.
Good luck with your decision.

Hi K.,
My son was born at 29 weeks, he has a lot of learning disorders {too many to list} he is also in the 1st grade. First congrads to you for having her on an IEP so soon! But I have found very few if any professionals other than the teachers at his school that support retention. my son is followed by the Mass Gen. Hospital in a learning disorders clinic called ladders. They advocate strong modifications and accomodations in order for them to succede. ALL of the literature that I have found say the benafits of retention are short lived, only in the first year then you are back to square one. the Mass Gen. also said retention was really only good for learners that were severly handicaped or had missed large portions of the school year. But if you think your daughter needs this I am sure the place to start would be a conversation with her teacher. good luck! L.

Hi K.!
I so understand where you are coming from. My son, will turn 8 in June and is currently in 1st grade with an IEP for ADHD and other communication issues We first noticed he was not doing so great before kindergarten age and that his brother who is 2 years younger was starting to pass him by academically. I decided to hold him back from first grade and put him in a very academic kindergarten. It really helped him get the advantage when he began 1st grade. He really wasn't ready to start 1st grade the year he was supposed to. However, I think I would feel like you if he had already started school. Let me encourage you a bit, you have the summer to see how your daughter progresses. I don't know all the details of her challenges, but you might want to give something a try (if you haven't already). This year I did a lot of research on ADHD, childhood depression and learning disabilities. I began buying and serving him foods that were free of artificial additives, colors and preservatives. Also stayed away from high fructose items. It has been a challenge but it has paid off. We also implemented vitamins and supplements that have been shown to help kids who are challenged. If you are interested, let me know and I will forward you some websites and also the protocol I have been using with my son. I can't tell you what a change we have seen in him. Prayer definitely pays off. I have been praying for wisdom and have been asking others to pray for him as well. I figure, God made him and knows exactly what he needs to be successful in life...I just need to implement it and to teach him how to overcome the challeges he faces, on a daily basis. My hope is that in the end the things we have been through will help others to experience joy in their life as they see their child not just keeping up, but excelling. (Our guy has gone from not even wanting to look at a book in the beginning of the year to being one of the best, most fluent readers in his class, PTL!) Remember...there is hope.
Let me know how it goes and if I can help in any other way,
V.

I would contact your special education department and talk with your team chairperson as well as your child's teacher. We are getting very late in the school year and unfortunately things are winding down. You are a member of the team and can call for a meeting at anytime. Put it in writing, deliver it to sped department and have them date stamp it. State the reason why you are calling the meeting in your letter. When is your IEP annual meeting?

Is she in a regular classroom with any assistance from an aide? If not, that might be something to consider for next year. Has she made sufficient progress based on her IEP? You should be getting progress reports based on the IEP goals as well as a report card every time report cards are issued. I would also set up a direct line of communication with the teacher to insure that you get information on a regular, perhaps weekly, basis.

Let's talk more. I belong to the PAC in my town. My daughter has special needs and has been on an IEP since she was three. She is now sixteen.

R.

It is always a possibility to keep kids back. The I in IEP is for Individualized, and that means your daughter gets whatever she needs, including staying back if necessary. However, in my experience, most districts hate to keep kids back - you may want to look instead at what further supports could be offered to help her catch up over the summer (as part of her IEP and paid for by the school of course!). If you need to talk to an advocate for free, call the Federation for Children with Special Needs in Boston - www.fcsn.org or join SpedWatch (www.spedwatch.org).
M.

hi as a parent you always have the right to speak with the principal. often times the school will not recommend retention for a special education student. talk to the teacher- how does she feel about it? why do you want her retained? a well written IEP should help your daughter access the material. good luck!

It's much better to do this now when they are younger then once they are older and have friends. It's important the basics are understood or it just gets harder for them. I kept my son back in the first grade, because he was very young and immature for his age, and the teacher was going to push him along anyway. I'm glad I did. I feel he was too immature at the time and today neither of us regret it. Good luck and yes, keeping her back will help her in the long run.