Question on Religious Education for Grade Schooler

What about some VBS camps this summer? You can take her to ones at different denominations--you don't have to belong to go to VBS there.

Our church has a wonderful Primary Sunday school program for children. For children 8 and up, they have weeknight activities as well, and a few activities throughout the year too for all the children and family. My boys are 4 and 6 and absolutely fascinated with church and learning. It's amazing how much they can really grasp and appreciate at such a young age. You can find a little more about our beliefs and a location near you here:
http://mormon.org/visit/

As for being upfront about your beliefs, when my boys ask about why people go to different churches, we just tell them that people have their own belief systems and everyone is trying to figure out what feels best to them spiritually. I think it's fine to tell your daughter about that.

Many churches offer Bible study classes on Wednesday nights. You might want to look in to churches in your area and see if they offer this for your daughter's age group since you are frequently out of town and unable to attend on Sunday mornings. My children are younger (2 and 3) and i am a believer so this is easy for me but my children LOVE to go to Sunday school and look forward to it all week long.

I was raised Christian, practice Paganism as an adult. My daughter's dad is Buddhist. I brought her up in a Unitarian church, where she learned about a lot of different religious paths, and allowed her to explore as many as I could possibly expose her to, and decide for herself what did and didn't work for her.

Let me give a bit of background first. My husband is an atheist and I'm agnostic. I became agnostic after years and years of being called names by so called christians wanting me to become christian. I had bible shoved at me telling me I needed to be saved. The only reasons this was done was because I was given the choice not to attend church as a child/teen. I also listened to music that was considered wrong...poison,motley crue, kiss and so on. So I tended to have a skewed view of most religious people. Because they skewed it for me.
My husband and I both agreed we would raise our children without religion. But we would be open with them with our beliefs or lack of beliefs. We would also make arrangements that if they wanted to attend church we would make sure they could. They could do so with family or friends but it would be totally up to them. I can say that both kids have been to a couple of different churches over the yrs. But they too have been called names for their lack of interest in religion.
Guess what both kids know right from wrong, they are well mannered, wonderful kids. They have a variety of friends of cover quiet a few religions. They tell the ones that judge them for their lack of religion they wish them well and are sorry they they feel they have to be so judgmental. They also remind them that most religions frown on such judgements.
So if you decide to raise your child with your current beliefs make sure to teach her that she is going to defend herself and those beliefs. It can be rough to see your child upset that a possible friend is calling them names or telling them they are going to hell because you don't force her to go to church or have her follow a set religion. I wont lie because it hurt to watch my kids deal with that. But sitting and talking about how those people were using their religion to hurt others and judging others was actually wrong of them. It helped them deal with the situation. So make sure you are there for her and able to help her understand those kinds of things.

Being open and open minded is the best the gift you can give your child (in my opinion). My husband grew up in a fear based (Christian) religious home and has since rejected religion all together. He is a moral, wonderful man and parent. I grew up with spiritual parents, who introduced us to -and encouraged us to explore- all sorts of religions. I grew up with friends of every race, color etc and learned a great deal from them. However, what I learned most of all is tolerance (and perspective). I applaud my parents for their approach. ...it sounds a lot like yours.

I can totally relate. I'm not sure what I believe or how much of the Catholic church's teachings etc (certainly not the ban on birth control...) but we're raising our daughters Catholic bc we feel some belief system is important and it also teaches discipline and self control. So far it hasn't been too much of an issue bc my kids don't push too hard and love Sunday school. I plan to (similar to how my mother did things as I got older) is admit we're not sure of everything but it's impt to be a good person and much of what the church teaches is what we're "choosing" to believe. I will be honest that I don't agree with some of the rules as they get older but enforce that have a spiritual guide is only going to help them vs it's just another set of rules to follow and rebel against. Not much help but I think you can let your child explore and more say you're not 100% sure of some things vs outright say you don't believe in xyz.

Updated

I can totally relate. I'm not sure what I believe or how much of the Catholic church's teachings etc (certainly not the ban on birth control...) but we're raising our daughters Catholic bc we feel some belief system is important and it also teaches discipline and self control. So far it hasn't been too much of an issue bc my kids don't push too hard and love Sunday school. I plan to (similar to how my mother did things as I got older) is admit we're not sure of everything but it's impt to be a good person and much of what the church teaches is what we're "choosing" to believe. I will be honest that I don't agree with some of the rules as they get older but enforce that have a spiritual guide is only going to help them vs it's just another set of rules to follow and rebel against. Not much help but I think you can let your child explore and more say you're not 100% sure of some things vs outright say you don't believe in xyz.

I'm not a big fan of organized religion myself. But I have had good experiences with Methodists (my sister's in-laws are retired ministers) and Unitarians. Both are pretty liberal traditions (maybe too much for some people). I know another poster was concerned that Unitarians were so accepting it seemed chaotic but I know they have a nice programs for kids that explores world religions for a whole year and allows kids to make up their own minds (I think with 7th graders). Churches of the same denomination can vary in leadership so I'd see what is near you.

All throughout childhood, a child learns things about life and from their parents or not.
They are exposed to things from parents or friends.
And ultimately, when they grow up, they make decisions, on their own, about what they believe or not.
Or they copy what they learned from their parents or not.
And kids are fickle. It is their nature.
The human brain is not even fully developed until 26 years old.

So while you may teach your child about religion and/or about your experiences with it, the child is also learning to evaluate things themselves, too. And per your information or via formal studies. Or not.
And, ultimately, if a child knows, that they have the freedom to choose themselves when they are of age, then they will. Or, for some, a child HAS TO, do as the parents believe. But personally, the child may or may not have the same gusto about it, as their parents. But they will not say. Or they will be afraid to say differently, than the parent.

There are scandals with anything. Religious or not. No matter what religion or belief.

My late Dad was raised with a certain religion. Per his culture. But, when he became older, he chose his own, per HIS beliefs. And this was contrary to his entire family. But, he did so according to his heart and what he felt was important.

I was raised per my parent's religion. But we were always told, that we can decide for ourselves.
Because ultimately, it is a person's PERSONAL beliefs and choices, that they come to terms with, and believe within their heart.

My mom felt the same way you did. She was raised Catholic, but ended up having some issues with the church after her divorce.

Growing up, we talked about religion at home, and my mom encouraged us to go to church with friends of all denominations. We would come home and discuss all different faiths. Mom had had enough of organized religion at that point, so we did not go to church as a family. We knew she believed in God, but had no faith in organized religion. My brother and I each visited Catholic, Methodist, Nazarene, Jewish, Jehovah's Witness, and many other churches/synogogues and Mom was always very willing to discuss our experiences with us.

Now, as adults, my brother and I are both very active in our churches. I'm Catholic, and he's Methodist. My mom has made peace with organized religion, and regularly attends a Methodist church.

I think it's wonderful that you are wanting to expose your child to religion, but are willing to let her make up her own mind. We're doing the same with our boys. We're raising them Catholic, but encouraging them to question religion and make up their own minds as they get older.

Good luck with your journey!

Hi, Sally:
I am so proud of you to have the courage to talk about this subject.
Next, I am so proud of you wanting to give your daughter values
that come from religious training.
I was raised in the country back in those days, church was the place not only to learn about Christian principles but also where the social events were held.

I would suggest that you shop around to see which church you would like to make your home. There are: Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Baptist, etc.
I attended a Methodist Church in Bethlehem, PA, that I loved. Now that I am back home, I am shopping around to see where my needs will get met.

Yes, you need to be consistent with attendance. Look on the web site to where you are going and go. It can be a great experience to see how different religious people act.

Good luck.
All the Best.
D.

How wonderful that you want to help your daughter learn about Christian teachings. If you do decide to enroll her in Sunday school or summer Bible camp, it may be helpful to have a conversation beforehand with the priest, minister or director of religious education. Your situation cannot be totally unique to them, and they should have helpful suggestions. If they do not, then I would look for another church, which will help you and your daughter.

i believe kids should make up their own minds and not be presured. i think if they go to a church that is not forcefull, judgemental or hypocrites then they will find their way on their own and not from negative wrong doing naysayers. i was raised in a christian way going to church on sundays. i am very strong in my faith and i take my kids to church about twice a week. my sister raised the same as me is as skeptical as they get and goes no where unless she has to. i tell you this to prove the point that just because yougo doesnt mean she will necesarily choose to follow the path of a christian but at least she will know it's out there if she wants it.
our church has activities for kids throughout the week notjust on sundays. if you can find a church like that near you with a big kids program try that. on wed nights there is usually awanas or a mision friends type of group get together for the kids. during the summers our church hasa week of camp to a nearby place and vbs (vacation bible school) another week. during these events on wednesdays they have classes for the adults to attend on many different topics from finances, marriage to a chapter in the bible. i suggest you find a church that offers things like that so that you both can try it out and have something to do. good luck:)

I grew up in a Christian home and then moved away from it as an adult as well. I completely understand what you're going through.

A few months ago (after thinking about it for a couple of YEARS), I decided that I'd "test drive" the churches in my area in order to find a "church home" for my family. My fiancee and I went to the Unitarian Universalist church first. After reading such wonderful, tolerant, broad world-view stuff about it online, I expected to enter a church that was SOOOO welcoming and wonderful.

It wasn't. The one we went to was a nightmare. I actually WALKED OUT of the sanctuary during the presentation (some lady from St. Louis who went on and on about abortion and pro-choice movement). They wouldn't even SAY the word "prayer" or mention God. HUH?

The very next church we went to was a Pentacostal church called Solid Rock Family Chuch. From the moment we arrived, we knew we were in the right place. It is an amazing place...and it's been 3 months now that we've been attending. The kids love it, and it has helped my relationship with my fiancee to grow even more.

I truly think that if you want your kids to have a religious education, you need to think about what it could also do to bring your family closer together and closer to God. You and your husband should consider attending as well.

Best of luck!

You might want to check out Unitarian Universalists in your area. Many of them are Christian based, but are more about your personal journey than doctrine. They do teach about all world religions. Good luck!

Our kids know that we are not religious. I tell them the bible stories that I learned when I was a kid. I also tell them the stories of other religions. My older one (he's 10) is into Greek Mythology right now and he is starting to connect the dots. That there are different religions, different beliefs, different interpretations within the same religion, etc. He has always maintained that he doesn't believe in God but that he still thinks it is important to be a good person. My younger (7) on the other hand says that he believes in God.

Just be open with her. There is a lot of information out there that is for children. I had a "Religions of the World" book for my kids that explained all the different religions in an easy to understand way for children.

If you are wanting her to learn about religion and the Christian beliefs then you need to make it a priority to take her frequently. Kids need guidance so you can't leave this decision up to them or they will never learn what you are wanting them to. Does your church you have found have activities during the week she can attend? Are there any evening services on Sundays? This is all on you if you want your child to learn your Christian beliefs so if you find you travel a lot, find local congregations so she can still attend a formal church service each week. Churches enjoy visitors and you may be insipired by hearing and seeing so many different churches in your travels. Your daughter can be taught, you just have to do the teaching as the parent and lead by example.

I'm not really in your situation. My kids are grown, but I was a bit like you. I felt that organized religion was not always what it was cracked up to be and I didn't believe everything they were preaching. What I came to understand is that that's okay. You can still have traditions and take the beliefs you want, leaving the others behind. I am now mostly new agey but hold onto traditions of the religion I was brought up in.

I believe it is good to send a child to Sunday School and to celebrate the traditions of the religion you choose. I feel like that gives the child a feeling of belonging. It's confusing to not know where you belong. But having open parents, like yourself, is great! Nothing is shoved down their throats and it's okay to know Mom doesn't believe everything they say either. Mom is a good person and cares about people and I can believe what I want without worrying I am bad. When I grow up I can make my own mind up, but for now, I like celebrating and know I have my own place.... just like the other kids.