Another Church Question

Try a Unitarian church. They're open too people of many religions, and to people of no particular religion, and there's no screaming of fire-and-brimstone from the pulpit.

You can go "church shopping"! Just pop into a different O. every week. See what feels best. Try an Assembly of God church for an upbeat, bible based message.

I suggest you take some time and download messages from a variety of churches in your area so that you can compare what they say in the privacy of your home first. Pray for direction. It's okay that you aren't sure who you are praying to. He knows who he is even if you don't. He'll listen.

In my personal opinion, you need to sort out your beliefs before you just pick a church for feel good happy little messages or your child will be very confused. Having strong and even dogmatic views on what sin is doesn't mean that a pastor will be cranky :) God's entire message to us is about his love for us. But as parents, we get mad at our children often right? Getting mad when they use a permanent marker all over the stove or dump the sugar and flour out on the floor doesn't mean you don't love them or that you are super cranky does it?

I wish you the best in your search for a church home.

Unitarian Universalists are really big on promoting your personal faith journey, so that might be good for you. Keep in mind that most members of these churches are very liberal, so if you're not, that might not be comfortable. Their services are always positive, and usually the communities are inviting and supportive (having never been an official member, I can't say much more).

It is important to note that all churches and diocese vary in their level of conservativism and structure. We go to church 30 minutes away from our home church because the one near us is too conservative and part of the diocese. The one we go to is run by teaching borthers/priests and is more friendly and welcoming embracing those of us who aren't perfect. I am Roman Catholic. I looked briefly at a lovely and very family oriented Episcopal church - but they also have their divisions as do the Lutherans.Synods. I know a lot of Catholics who married outside their faith and go to Unitarian services which are very broad in their beliefs.

So, My advice is just go to a few different churchs and see which fits your needs and interests. For me, a good Sunday School program and family orientation or family mass was appealing to me. I also insist on a church that allows girl alter servers, since I have girls. Even though they will proabably never do it, I want them to see women are being treated equally.. at least a little bit. To each his own.

A Unitarian Universalist church will provide a religious education to your children without indoctrinating them in any one strict belief system. They are open to all religious, or non-religious, people. We especially liked the program my stepson went through as a teenager to prepare for his "coming of age" ceremony.

Perhaps you should try all religions and see what you feel is right. Just because you grew up in a religion doesn't mean you HAVE to go back to it. This way is would be a nice family discovery thing. Start a church that is closest to you and work your way out ward.

I agree wholeheartedly with S L M. Take some time to figure out what you believe so you can know the right place when you find it. If you haven't been going to church, taking time to settle these important questions will not hurt your daughter. In fact, it's a good opportunity to impress on her the importance of having convictions, especially if you include her in your search for answers. Children have surprisingly strong instincts about these things that we as adults find it easy to push aside at times.

When my husband and I were dating, we went through a few years of searching for a church we were both happy with (we grew up in different denominations and neither liked the other's church). We spoke with representatives from a number of denominations and churches, and we also attended services at several churches before making a decision. There are many good groups out there, but we found it was only after we settled our own questions that we were able to move forward with a decision. I'm happy to say we came to the same conclusions, decided on the same church, and have never looked back. This is all to say, it's really worth it to take the time and know what you're getting into (especially when you've got a family). Best wishes for success in your search!

We found that the Methodist church was a nice blend for our family. My husband is/was Catholic, but not really satisfied with his church. The Methodist church we joined was a fairly large one (for our area, but not a "mega church"....at that time, 2 services with probably 300 in each service) with a lot of activities for the children and youth... our kids participated in Sunday School, Vacation Bible School, Choir, Youth Group, Mission Trips, and a lot of activities. The preaching style isn't grumpy, or "hellfire and brimstone", but more of the loving God.

Our church also has 2 different types of services.... a "Praise style" service with a Praise band and words projected on a screen, using the more modern songs. We have preferred the more traditional style service, with the organ, choir, and hymnals. Each type of service has its merits. As our children grew, they usually preferred the praise service, so they went to that one, and we went to the one that we liked. It all worked out for us.

Good luck!

I grew up Catholic and was never excited about going to church. :( It is hard to follow for kids. We go to a Non Denominational Christian church and they are awesome and have so much to offer the kids. They have classrooms (not just a nusery with babysitters) but actual classrooms for each age group. My kids like it, and adults always enjoy the service and get a lot out of it . You should go, it would do you some good.

I love the idea of starting with churches that are close to you and visiting each one at least twice to get a feel for them. This seems the best way to see what is a good fit for your family. And keep in mind that some day your kids will be teens and not every church is good at involving teenagers in church life, but that is when they need it the most. regardless of the present age of your kids think ahead to the future. What I personally love about my Church (Presbyterian) is the democratic, and family type feeling. potential ministers are chosen by the people, voted in by the people. and the minister becomes a leader and a member of the Church who is not above us or better than us or unapproachable, but a friend who enjoys leading us towards understanding more about religion. The weekly sermons are geared toward helping us understand God's word and the Children's programs are great, fun and active ways to help kids learn about God and his message and how we should treat other people. The older children learn about other religions and even visit other churches and synogaugs before they officially join. There isnt a feeling that only our religion is RIGHT. so I find that a good fit for me.
Happy Shopping!

You sound perfect for a non-denominational church. I am sure there are a ton in your area as they seem to be everywhere these days.

I'm a member of La Crescenta United Methodist Church. Our pastor is awesome. Our church is a place of peach, love and intellect. I visited a number of different churches before finding the good fit. This was it for me. It may be that you need to do the same. Try a few different churches in your area and find a comfortable fit. It's easier if your church is close to you but if you feel like travelling further afield then I invite you to come visit us. Service begins at 10am at 2700 Montrose Avenue La Crescenta. Check out the website http://www.cvumc.org/
Good luck with your search.
J. :)

Don't know if you're near any Unitarian Universalist churches, or perhaps Quaker. They might be a nice match. If there are more than one, visit all of them. Each church has it's own character/feel. Good luck in your search.

Hi J., I go to a non denominalation church and i love it. Not to preached but you asked, you mentioned you are not religious, perfect God does not want religious people, he wants faithful followers, the church i go to is all past denominations, all walks of life, Black, white, Asian, Indian, Philopino, you namer it and we got it, God is not looking for titles, Chatholic, Protestant, Baptist, Nazzarine, those are titles, being a true Christian is a life style, not a title. I've been with my church since 1989. If you are not familar at all with the Bible it may be a little difficult to know if the ones you visit are teaching false doctrine or not, what touched my heart about my church the love I received my first visit, I noticed people who genuing loveing each other like a family, and her it is almost 22 years later we still with the same church, raised our 3 children in the church, it had it's pros and cons, but i believe in the end the pros will pravil. I hope you fins a home church. You are goimg to get so much advice, a lot of it is going to be wordly, but if you earnestly seek God you will find him. I'm very happy for you that you made this decission for you and your family. J.

I'm not sure how far it is from you, but there is a church in CA called Oasis, and I've heard the pastors wife speak often. She is amazing. Her name is Holly Wagner, and she has several books out that you might enjoy as well. You can check their site out and see if it sounds like something you might be interested in and if it's close enough to you. http://www.oasisla.org/ Good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for. We (husband and I) grew up in a denominational church, but we have been non-denominational for 10 years now. You just need to go where you feel at home. You'll know it when you're there.

Try a Unitarian Church - my non-religious parents took us to Unitarian services when we were kids and I attended when I was in my 20s. I remember these services to be happy, and warm, and welcoming.

from http://www.uua.org/index.shtml: Unitarian Universalism is a theologically diverse religion that encourages seekers to follow their own spiritual paths. Our faith draws on many religious sources, welcoming people with different beliefs. We are united by shared values, not by creed or dogma.

Also look into non-denominational churches in your area. Remember, churches are like doctors - you have visit a few to find one you are comfortable.

God Bless

I think you should visit several. If you find a good fit, stay with it. I personally like Bible based churches. I like to believe God is much wiser than what I could make up to believe. Most "fellowship" churches have music that the younger generation enjoys.

I've been to many. You might want to check out a "non-denominational" church or Assembly of God or United Methodist. Many of the Protestant denominations differ on the details but I have felt comfortable in many of them. I'm personally United Methodist, but that's not the only type of church home I have had. Feel free to check out different churches (look online for which ones have active children's programs) for a while til one feels like "home". Our church as 2 services, one that is shorter and more "contemporary" and one that is more traditional. A church that offers those kinds of options may suit you/your children as your family grows. You might also take your daughter to VBS programs in your area to get a feel for the church and what would have a program your daughter would also like.

I have gone to several churches and not liked it. you have to search and find one you like. I recently moved out to El Segundo, but before I moved I went to a non-denomination church and it was amazing. No pressure and they did not even have offerings. The Pastor did not want that to be the focus of his church. It was calm and relaxing and he spoke like anyone else would speak and was not demeaning. I have been to churches that tell about how everyone is doomed blah blah... No one wants to hear that!

Find one you like after going to a few. You will know when you have found a good one!

google churches in your area and i am sure almost all of them will have websites. good place to start! (i would lean towards a non-denominational church myself, they tend to be less strict, more relaxed and informal)

You can be very worshipful and live a life like many religions exemplify by never going to church. I feel closest to God in nature, and find the whole business end of believing off-putting. We are involved though many other activities on our community, we donate to charities, and feel part of this community. My kids know we believe but we do not attend a church. When they were little I got a kids book on comparative religion from Amazon, with a 2 page spread on about 20 religions, describing in story format their main beliefs for an audience of teen age. Something like that might be useful too for your family.