Question for Moms Who Run Daycares or Moms Who Take Kids to Daycare

I just wanted to say good for you in being pro-active in soliciting advice of others on this issue. I would so much rather have my children in your daycare than in one with a provider such as the one who commented that they don't have the patience to deal with potty training. Sounds like that individual is in the wrong field. When she says that parents don't pay her enough money to potty train their kids, wow!! Sounds like they're already paying her WAY TOO MUCH given her lousy attitued, which most certainly translates into sub-par childcare. Working parents have a tough time potty training in general and I can't imagine my daycare provider not being willing to work with me on the issue or even unwilling to work on potty training period!

I can tell that you, however, are a true childcare professional who actually cares about children and understands the needs of the families that you serve. I think having a basic policy is great and I also think you should be flexible so that the training can work out best for all involved. Also, keep in mind that many first time parents actually look to the daycare provider for advice and instruction and would likely appreciate any input from you.

For us, going cold turkey on underwear was the only thing that helped move the process along, but we have had many, many accidents. At my daughter's daycare center (2 year old class) they had carpeting that was very easy to clean since a class of 10 potty-training kids was a messy proposition. When we lived in the city, my daughter went to a home daycare where the provider had owned her daycare for over 20 years. She had a rule of "no pullups," but my daughter was little then, so I never really discussed her reason for the policy.

I don't have a daycare, but I have two kids who were potty-trained while in a home daycare.

Both times we worked as a team with the DCP. In reality, she made most of the decisions (except for when to start) but I would have not appreciated having that sort of thing decided without input from us. It's very individual to the child and I think it needs to be consistent at home for everything to work out. We used pull-ups first and went straight to underwear for my first son and with my second, we used plastic pants over underwear (he was a more stubborn case.)

Of course it's reasonable for you to decide on the things that affect your own household and furniture - like letting kids go naked or trying to potty train an infant or something. But in general, I think one of the nice things about a home daycare is being able to work together in a more family-like and cooperative way. I think the person who is with them all day has a pretty good idea when they are ready to start, and can encourage with peers, so it can work out really well!

We have two kids that attend daycare (only one is potty trained though). Our approach was similar to what you described using for your own kids -- we kept our daughter (and now our son) in diapers as we introduced the potty. Once there was progress, we switch to underpants and just deal with any messes that come up.

Our daycare center supported that approach and just reminded us to bring several sets of clean clothes/underpants. I know some of the other families at our center have used pullups and the caregivers use them but say they prefer to go straight to diapers.

Just my two cents, but I'd say to discuss it with the families and ask what their preferences are but definitely speak up about the process you followed with your own kids.

My policy is I am not the parent. I am the daycare provider. I will not train other people's children to go on the toilet. They are not paying me enough to have to deal with accidents all day long, and it is very overwhelming having a bunch of kids and having to deal with those kind of cleanups all the time. If the children are basicly trained then I will accept them in vinyl underwear over the cloth or in underwear. But if they have more than one accident I talk to the parents and tell them I am not doing the training. Some parents are ok with it and most are not. They want everything for nothing. So my suggestion is, decide whether you are willing to make compromises with things or not. You can only decide that. I personally would rather have younger kids who are not dealing with the potty training yet or older ones who are totally trained. Not in between. So I end up with either real little ones or much older ones. And I love it that way. The older kids help the little ones. I wish you luck with this -- I hate potty training and I don't do it until my kids are literally ready -- no more accidents. I have no patience for the ongoing year long or months long ordeals with the toilet.
Best of luck! N.

Hi K., As an at home day care provider I do applaude your asking questions and taking the initiative to help potty train the little ones. I have to say that I agree completely with Sara. The person who said that she wasn't paid enough is definitly in the wrong field. I left a very comfortable job with great pay and benefits to begin my daycare. While the process has been slow moving for me, I wouldn't trade it for anything. This is not a job you go into for the pay but rather the reward you receive from helping to raise up someone else's children. Trust me, I do not get paid enough for all I do but would I compromise anything I give to my children? Not at all. I have helped to potty train some children. Some successful, some not so much. I basically work with the parent to decide when the time is right for the child. If I see that they are starting to seem interested, I bring this up to the parents and just reinforce what they wish. Most parents just bring pull-ups as they are easiest to take off in care of accidents. I also do like what you mentioned that you used to do for your children. I guess if you go straight to underwear this is what they get used to. The inportant part is just to reinforce what ever the wishes are of the parent. Best of luck to you. Also, I am going to pass along my email address to you as I would like to start communicating more with other women who are home day care providers. As a new person to this industry, I need all the help I can get. :)
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When my daughter went through potty training at daycare it was a combined effort between us and the DC center. They had a chart in their bathroom divided into three sections: diapers, pull ups, underwear. Each section had a velcro strip and as the kids progressed, their names were moved from one section to the next via the velcro on their name tag. That way the DC teachers knew at a glance what stage each kid was at. The kids in underwear had a change of clothes, but after that change, the next change was a pull up.