Question Concerning Me!

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I was recently told that when swingers are referring to what they are/do, they call it "the lifestyle", so if someone around this person it commenting on "the lifestyle", then maybe. That's all I've got for you....

That is a pretty strange thing to suspect someone of. There must be some odd things happening, to think your partner could be involved in this. That is a very high risk lifestyle. They are at risk of contracting dozens of serious diseases. If it turns out this person is having multiple sexual partners, I would get tested for STDs right away,

Have you asked him/her? Usually people with this type of lifestyle aren't secretive about it.

If you suspect it, you're probably right. Something about this person is raising your awareness that this may be an issue . . . or, at least, that there is some kind of issue going on that may need to be addressed.

I grew up in a household with swingers and it's my understanding they don't hide it at all. They certainly didn't hide it from me. My mother got out of the lifestyle and divorced my dad.

That is, if you are talking about wive swapping?

I heard on the radio the other day that "swingers" had more STD's than prostitutes.
Just something to think about!

Signs A Husband Could Be A Swinger:

•Likes to flirt with other women when you are at parties together and pays. more attention to them than he does to you.
•Changes his hairstyle.
•Buys new clothes that make him look younger.
•May dye his hair if he has gray hair.
•Doesn't have to work late and is constantly coming home late.
•May smell of perfume.
•May have makeup or lipstick on his clothing.
•Is loud and obtrusive when out at a pub with mixed men/women and flirts with the women only and ignores the men.
•Phone ringing and if you pick it up there is no one there.
•Your husband keeps his cell close to him or locked.
•He doesn't feel he owes you an explanation if he is late getting home.
•Makes excuses for being away weekends.
Things You Can Do To Find Out If He Is A Swinger:

•Ask a trusted girlfriend to go with you and follow him on the nights he is out (this is how I caught my ex husband cheating.)
•Hire a detective. If you have a good detective it should only take him one weekend or a full week at best to find out if your husband is doing things he shouldn't be doing.
•Check his emails (also deleted emails) and check the websites he's been on.
•If all else fails then communicate with him and look him straight in the eye and ask him if he's seeing other women. If he gets red in the face; paces; yells in denial; goes into another room to get away from you or slams out the door you can bet something is up.

I also found this online and thought it was interesting..... Might as well read it......

So, I've compiled a series of warning signs of a potential parental-swinger situation. Who knows, maybe you'll put the pieces together like a good little detective and realize your own parents are in the spousal-swap subculture. Maybe they even crossed paths with mine in an elevator heading to a seedy, late-night soiree. "Going down?" "Waaaaay down."

1) Strange Characters / New Friends
Your parents are old. You should know all their friends. Unless they're selling Amway, you should be suspicious of a rotating cast of characters coming in and out of your home and your parents' lives. From my experience, these individuals are also likely going to behave strangely around you, as if they'd been having sex with your parents.

2) Startling Evening Wear
This alone could only mean that your folks are adventurous, maybe even a little raunchy. But finding more than one fishnet man-thong in the laundry should raise a few red flags and could warrant further investigation.

3) Suspicious Behavior
This is broad, but you'll know it when you see it. One afternoon, my sister and I got home from school early on a half day. We sat down and started watching TV, and shortly after, my stepfather and a strange new male friend came in. When they noticed us, you could tell they were surprised by the wide-eyed "Oh! What are you two doing home?" look on their faces, like we had caught them with their fingers in the pie. They went into my parents' room and didn't return for half an hour. This also relates to clue number four.

4) Elaborate or Confusing Sex Toys
We're not talking about one of those life-size sex dolls that weighs as much as a schoolboy. Although, if you do find such an expensive, uniquely purposed item, I would say your parents have probably at least pondered the idea of spicing it up the bedroom with outside players. The discovery of a strap-on in my parents' bedroom was a good indication that their tastes may have been different from what I expected. You don't have to be a dildo detective to sort out the possible uses for that one.

5) Excessive Partying
This isn't really proof of anything on its own, just that your parents have lives. But when you discover a healthy supply of party drugs after carefully rummaging through your parents' hiding places -- just being teenagers -- and add in their semi-frequent trips out of town for the weekend with other couples, the math starts to work itself out.

well practice safe sex... and check for STD's!
Protect yourself...
I would be REAL careful about your health... diseases...

Maybe just ask him???

AND... make him check for STD"s as well, both of you.
It is something to do, when in any relationship, regardless of the type of relationship.
Any sexual relationship, it is a good idea for BOTH partners to check for STD's.
That is what my and my Hubby did, when first starting to date.
We went to the Doctor together and got tested.

all the best,
Susan

Seems to me that if the person is a swinger, he/she would not feel about about talking about it.

Man? Woman? Friend? Co-worker? No need to be discret when letting someone know what your moral standards are.

Blessings......

Why not just ask the person straight and to the point? and do not be afraid of the answer, prayerfully they will be honest with you an that way you can make a decision about who this person really is or not by not only listening to what they tell you but by listening to what they do!

I don't think there are any tell tale "signs". What activities are they involved in? What types of night clubs, etc do they go to?

I know in the Dallas area there are "swinger clubs" because I've heard about them. I actually went to one once just to see what it was like. Fairly normal looking people, just odd desires. There are also several bars/lounges in the area and quite frankly my husband and I have been propositioned by other couples before. Just not my thing...

There must be some behavior he/she is exhibiting to make you question it.

Ummm...just ask. Signs can be misinterpreted whether for good or bad. If you can't trust him to be honest and open about something so important then you probably shouldn't be involved unless you are wanting to know because your interested. Either way you should ask him for a copy of his latest STD tests as any responsible, sexually active person thinking about starting a new relationship should.

I'd need to know what things are making you suspicious... it's hard to tell without more info...

Flat out ask if they are married first of all and check it out for yourself. If they are a cheating husband they are a person of low moral character with nothing to offer you. Do not see them again. Lie down with dogs, wake up with fleas! A single man, however, who is seeing multiple women is called a, well, a single man! If you are talking about someone with whom you are in a sexual relationship then I fear you should have made certain you were in an exclusive relationship before going there. If you did that and now believe he is seeing others then he is a cheater. See step one above.

Really, if you suspect the person you are seeng strongly enough to have posted this question then I feel you should find someone else.

I know a lot of swingers and if they're doing it right then they're open about it (at least when it's appropriate) and respectful of their primary partner. There are a lot of people who like to label themselves swingers but are just using it as an excuse to cheat.