My husband and I have started talking about having another child. But my son, Orion, still sleeps w/ us. So, we have decided to brake him of this habit and put him in his crib at night. Most of the time he only cries for about 20 min. or so and then goes to sleep for the night. But the other day while trying to take a nap he cried for almost an hour. By that time i picked him up and held him until he feel asleep. How long is to long for a child to cry and what suggestions does anybody have on what to do??
First off I want to say Thank you to all who replied to my request. Orion now sleep soundly ALL night long on his own. It only took about a week. He still cries when taking his naps in his crib but not for nearly as long as he used to. It was hard at first but it was SOOOOOO worth the waiting. Again Thank you!
M.
He may be getting a new tooth or teeth.... if that's not it... he may just be cranky... If my daughter cries for more than 10 minutes and doesn't fall asleep, I take her out of her crib and rock her... if she doesn't want to sleep, I let her play with her toys and then she tells me she wants to go to bed by either using her words or walking to her crib and saying "up".
Good Luck!
J.
That is such a tough time, allowing them to cry. I feel for you.
I believe "they" say to let them cry for 10 minutes, then go pat him on the back. Do not pick him up. Just comfort him by patting, rubbing and talking to him for a minute. Then leave again. Do that every ten minutes, but don't pick him up. Basically if you go pick him up because he cried, he won. (That sounds terrible, but you know what I mean.) You're trying to teach him to fall asleep independently and if he learns that you come in and hold him after crying for 30 minutes or an hour, that's what he'll do.
Another trick for when things get bad at bedtime, is to sit in his room. After you comfort him for a moment, just sit down near his crib where he can see you. Don't talk to him or look at him, but just be there. The idea is that you let him know you're always closeby and it's okay to be alone, but that he has to fall asleep on his own. After a few times of doing this (and it might be a long fight initially!) you won't have to stay.
Best of luck!
I have posted this 100 times about this exact same thing, and asked everyone I gave the advice to, to follow up with me and I havent had it fail yet.
Ok so first thing is buy him a big boy bed and let him help pick it out, yes hes only 1 but he does understand. **My son had a race car bed** Ok so after that happens put HIS BED in YOUR ROOM RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR BED! That way he still has the comfort of you being there, but is getting used to his bed.. Yes you need to do some moving stuff around, but ITS WORTH IT. Ok so after about 3 weeks he is used to his bed, So you are going to move it about 5 ft away from your bed but try and keep it still in your room. Now this is where it gets tricky and a little hectic..So after you moved it 5 ft or so away move it into the hall way, that way hes not totally in his room yet. NEXT STEP IS THE HARDEST ONE! After another 3 weeks move the bed finally into his room...IT WILL WORK I PROMISE!!! Yes its time consuming and hectic and well takes up alot of space, but its a sure way to get him in his room and own bed! Please let me know how it goes, It hasnt failed me yet.
Hi! I think that consistency is the key. That is great that you have him sleeping in his room at night! As for the naps, just keep being consistent and putting him in his own bed. Go in there every 10 minutes or so just to let him know he's not alone and then let him cry it out. It takes 3 days to set a new schedule as long as you are consistent. and he's young enough that he will forget that he ever slept in your bed. I hope this helps. Keep up the good work! and good luck with having another baby!
Hi, I don't have any words of wisdom for you unfortunately. But I do know where you could go to look for them. Go to www.mothering.com (Mothering Magazine's website). There are alot of people there that cosleep and they should be able to help you.
I wish you luck!
S.
My daughter is 10 months old and she use to scream her head off if one of us wasn't holding her. I eventually stopped babying her and if I put her down and she cried oh well. She screams for about an hour and a half, I check on her periodically to see if she needs a diaper change or a bottle. If she doesn't I continue to let her scream till she falls asleep.
Hi M., crying it out is very nerve-racking. My son didn't co-sleep with me, but I unfortunatly got into the habit of napping with him. He wouln't nap during the day and then I was so tired from him not slepping, it was just eaiser to lay down with him. Then it got where he wouldn't go to bed at night unless I layed down with him and I didn't want to go to bed at 8 o clock! He was always a good night sleeper, so this was bad news. Anyways, so I had to suck it up and just put him in bed. I made sure he was fed and clean and gave him kisses and put him in bed. Then he would cry for an hour and a half. It was horrible. Then I would pick him up and of course he would fall right asleep. We did this for a couple of nights and naps. Then (this part will probably be different for everyone) on the third day it was only an hour at night and he was really only whining. And he fall asleep with out me going in there. Then the next day for naptime, it was only 15 minutes. So each time I layed him down, it was less and less. Sometimes now he whines or talks to himself, but he goes to sleep. If your son, just whines for a while and then crys don't hesitate to check on him. Mine usually has a poopie diaper. I think it is ok to go pick them up and give a cuddle if they need it. Only do it sparingly and not at every cry they make. I really do miss laying down with him sometimes, but it really is a blessing to just lay him down and have him sleep on his own. Good luck with baby number 2! And good luck with this son. Don't feel guilty about having him cry. I felt horrible and I would get really upset, but he sleeps better and I get time to myself too.
Hi M. -
I'm sorry that you are having issues. What you decide to do about crying I think is a personal decision. We decided to not let our daughter cry it out at all. If you decide to go that way, there is a great book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It has a bunch of ideas for helping your child sleep on their own and stuff like that. Pantley has co-slept with all 4 of her children, so she knows what that is like. I have just started reading the book again to help my 7 week old be a good sleeper. Let me know if you have any questions.
- P.
Not sure how old your child is - but my mom gave me some great advice - get her in her own bed as soon as you can. The longer they stay in bed with you - the harder it is. My daughter slept in a bassinet by my bed the first 2 months - and then she went to her bed. We never had a problem. Some kids have to cry it out - its tough on everyone, but its the only way they will see they have no other option but to sleep in their bed. Some kids can cry a long time and very loudly and the parents just can't take it. But you're doing a disservice to the child by giving in. You can go and comfort them, read to them while they are in the crib (I used to sit on the floor next to the crib with soft music playing and soft light on and just read and read until she fell asleep - but I did not pick her up. Be consistent, even at a young age kids learn what it takes to get their way. Another thing - if your child has a hard time going to sleep - sometimes if you put them in the car in the carseat and drive around for 10-15 minutes - this will often put them right to sleep.
my Baby was the worst sleeper ever, she coslept with us and used to wake every two hours it was worse than when she was a newborn the result: I was EXHAUSTED and she was too. I took her to the doctor and he told That he cannot help me until I move her to a room of her own and if I don't it will hurt her because she's not getting the sleep that she needs. That week end we moved her crib to her room ( and made sure everything is safe nothing in the crib moved it away from windows...) which is in an another story and I slept in the guest bedroom next to her room with my monitor on whenever she woke up ( And trust me she was jumping and shouting with no tears in her eyes) I waited 5 minutes the first day to come in then ten minutes then 15 consecutavely until she fell asleep and each time she woke up did the same thing, the second day the same thing but add 5 minutes to each waiting by day 5 she was sleeping the whole night now she's amazing. She sleeps the whole night alone ( she's 15 months) I am happier and can play with her efficinetly and she's the cute playful happy girl That I know
I'm not much help since my four year old still sleep with us, but I just wanted to say that I really like the name you chose for your son! How cool! :-)
Get a bigger bed.
A king size (especially with an attached co-sleeper for the baby) can comfortably hold a baby, toddler, two parents, and an occasional grade schooler. A queen will leave mom hanging off the side of the bed and make the gradeschooler whine that she is squished - leaving mom to go sleep in her room. I speak from experience.
Seriously, it's hard to go from being the center of your parents' world to being expected to sleep by yourself - even one year olds accustomed to sleeping by themself from birth start having issues at this age... to me, I don't let them CRY for more than 10 or fuss for more than 20 - but they can scream a lot longer than that - which is why I'm a big softie who still occasionally has a bunch of kids in my bed.
The toddler grew into a preschooler who sleeps alone 1/2 the night, then comes to mommy and daddy's room. The baby is now a toddler who stayed accustomed to his own crib in mommy and daddy's room, and the gradeschoolers are in 4th and 7th, and with the exception of bad weather and illness, rarely ever spend the night in our bed.
S.
S.
When my baby was born, I co-slept her *and* her 2-year-old brother. We only had a queen size futon, so I took it off the springs and placed it on the floor, pressed against the wall. That way, if anyone rolled off, they didn't have far to go, and baby slept between me and the wall (I'm VERY aware of the babies while I sleep).
This meant that my oldest never felt like the baby was replacing him. They have no - zero - sibling rivalry issues. And last night my son spent the night in his own room for the first time. He wanted to do it, 'cause he's a big boy now (he turned 3 in July). There were no tears and no jealousy. Perfect!
I will say that having a newborn and a 2-year-old is very, very hard. I'm glad that mine are out of that stage, even if it's just barely! I wanted to wait until my oldest was 5, but it just didn't work out that way. :) Of course, I love both my babies, and they are both very wanted, even if one did come a little earlier than expected!
