Pregnant with 4Th Child.

I have 4 and freaked out when I found out I was pregnant with the 4th as well, but really I thought the transition from 2 to 3 was much harder.

You'll be fine once you're over the shock :)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!

I know this may sound much, but can you get a nanny to help you around? That way it'll ease the work load for you and hubby. You don't need the stress. Congrats!

Most of my friends have 5-7 then a few have up to 10 and my best friend all through Jr. High and High School was one of 12. So large families are wonderful. You'll find it won't be harder at all. The more there are I think the easier it is.

One of my friends that has 6 kids has one the same age as my granddaughter. She was sitting in her bathroom one day and realized she had not started potty training the, then, 3 yr. old son. She asked him later that day if he needed to go potty and her next boy up said "No, I just took him a little while ago". Come to find out he was potty trained already, the other kids had just done it naturally.

Awww, congratulations, Mama!

Yes, there are women in this world who have 4+ kids :)

My mom had 5--I think we all turned out pretty well. When she had her 5th our ages were: 10 yo, 8 yo, 6 yo, 2 yo, newborn. She worked FT and my grandma took care of the little ones while my mom worked & us older kids were in school. Your 5 yr old will be in school FT, right, so that's good. Your 2 yr old will probably be about ready for preschool if she's going to be 3, so that might help as well. Your 8 month old (I have one too) will indeed be pretty young, but I envision that they will be best buds :)

OMG. You are going to LOVE it. I never wanted ANY kids and now have 4. I always "felt" that 4 was the deal. I cried for 30 minutes after I found out I was pregnant with my first. Then, with my last, I actually smiled.

People lie. 2 to 3 was a nightmere for me...or maybe it was because #3 was a girl? Once you are outnumbered, another one doesn't make any difference. LOL We work 4 part time days together and then are with the kids the rest of the time. We homeschool. Ours just turned 9, 5, 3 and 7 months.

My 4th is SO mellow. He sleeps all night long, which is more than I can say for my 3 year old! LOL

(I had a friend whose husband had a vasectomy and 2 weeks after it, she found out she was already pregnant with #4.)

Here's the story of my 4th - start to beginning. I got pregnant the day after my period ended. How do you ovulate and finish a period at the same time? I dunno...but obviously, it was meant to happen.

MY STORY, JUST TO MAKE YOU LAUGH

So, being on the fence about having more children sucked....for lack of a better word. We were tired. We were tired. And we were tired. Did I mention that we were tired? Logically, NOTHING made logical sense about our hesitation with being finished with having babies.

1. Cars can fit 3 people in the back seat. 4 kids require a minivan or something of the like....even on vacation.

2. Mimi watches our kids like they are her own grandchildren 2 nights each week and it exhausts her. The mention of #4 makes per sweat profusely and want to run screaming out the door.

3. 6 plane tickets mean more car trips and less plane trips.

4. Rob and I work together, so we are with the kids or we have someone watch them. There is no tag-teaming. It's on like Donkey Kong.

5. It's difficult for me to work so physically and be pregnant.

6. We homeschool, so there are no breaks....ever.

7. The attention our children require is unbelievable, that is, until we turn the TV on....but we aren't big fans of regular media for children, so we actually have to be parents, even when we don't want to be.

8. All of our kids are out of diapers and Nicholas is soon going to be out of a booster seat in the car. Getting another car seat and starting diapers again is daunting.

9. Better vacations (that the kids can remember) are just within our grasp.

10. A day trip to Disneyland could potentially cost us $500.....really????

11. Labor is not fun for me....AT ALL. I do it selfishLESSly at home without drugs, for the safety of my baby. Don't get me wrong, with raising 3 kids, a permanent epidural sounds great. LOL

12. There are a lot more reasons.....

See? NOTHING tells us that more kids is a responsible choice...except that when I look at my 3 children, I feel like we are missing one. Rob feels the same way. It's sucks. All of the logic in the world can't fill the hole that tells you something is missing when we see pictures of our family.

I am the one woman in the world that would have been fine without any children. Vacations, childless dinners, work, and a personal trainer was my idea of life....oh yeah, and sleeping past 6:30am. But now that we've started this path, I can't help to feel like I'd always look back and wonder if we were suppose to have one more....like someone was missing from our lives, almost like a death.

We decided not to try to get pregnant and also not to completely prevent, but I can tell you that the frequency of sex that occurs when your children are small and both parents are working AND child-rearing, would happen when we were 80, maybe 90. So, the liklihood of us getting pregnant was low at best, especially with my hormone issues.

Obviously, by now, you know were I am going with this:

My hormones this past cycle were crazy and angry and intense...and then one day, everything mellowed and life was ok again. Perhaps it was the increasing progesterone that my body loves and needs? Well, a few days past my cycle being due, I took a pregnancy test. The night before I took it, I couldn't sleep....at all. Not from excitement or wonder, but just insomnia... because I hadn't planned on taking a test. Maybe it was the Mexican food for dinner? It was 4:30am and positive. What???? I went back to bed.

My husband's motorcycle was being delivered that morning, so I didn't want to add one more thing, but I couldn't wait. I put a shirt that said, Dad" to the 4th power and turned it inside out. I placed it in the laundry basket. Later, when we were folding clothes together, he didn't recognize it and looked inside the inside out shirt. He looks at me and asks, "Is this a mistake?" Nope. "Is this a joke?" Nope. "I want to see the test." What?????????? To which I reply, as I'm throwing the test at him, "I'm not some 15 year old trying to trap my f-ing boyfriend!!!" It took us hours to catch our breath. Ok, so it took him hours, but it took us awhile to connect again.

I wanted to keep this a secret between Rob and I as long as we could. Maybe it was just a lover's secret? Maybe it was not adding drama to our lives by way of other's opinions (boy do they give them!) of having FOUR kids? Whatever it was, it felt right. I knew I was done. This was my last child....and I knew it. I finally knew what everyone else felt when they knew they were done having children.

Oddly enough, Grandparents Day was on it's way, so we figured that would be a great time to tell them. We either gave or mailed shirts that read
6 6
Grandpa and Grandma for Grandparents Day.

My pregnancy progressed with extreme fatigue and an overall physical heaviness. I never got that burst of energy in the 2nd trimester....and you can bet I waited for it.

I stopped working at about 36 weeks and while I needed the time off physically, I hadn't won the lottery. Within a week of being off work, everyone would comment how relaxed I was and how nice it was to see that side of me again. I can't believe how stressed I had become.

Around 38 weeks, the pressure in the lower uterus was nearly unbearable some days, landing me in bed for hours and hours at a time, only to move to another location to lie down. I had contractions for hours and Rob even put up the birth tub, but didn't fill it with water. I wasn't sure this was really labor, but I thought the same thing with the last two, so I wanted to be half prepared. Suddenly, all contractions stopped. (sigh)

At 39 weeks, I met with a midwife and had her palpate for the baby's position, listen to the heartbeat, as well as find the placental location. Placenta was high, baby was head down, but not engaged in my pelvis (which I already knew by all of the flipping and frequent hiccups near my stomach), and the heartbeat was strong. Ok, what more did I need to know? WHEN WAS THIS BABY GOING TO SHOW UP???? So, I know she can't tell me that, but I'd pay good money to know that!

(When Anna asked where we were going, I told her that we were going to see a lady who could tell me where the baby is. To which she replied in a tone filled with condescension, "Mooooommmmmm, the baby is in your uterus." Ahhh. yes, an educated 3 year old.)

Even though I do things naturally, I'm still like every other woman on the planet. I'd like to know the sex of the baby, so I can plan clothing, room colors, etc. Labor pains suck, so an epidural sounds heavenly (on the surface). I'd also like to know when the baby will show up, so I can figure out what my plans are with work and my family WEEKS in advance. But, the reality of the situation is, in the big scheme of things, NONE OF THIS MATTERS. What many women forget, is that it is NOT about them. It's about the baby.

I watched my estimated due date (EDD) fly right by, which I had a feeling it might, but desperately hoping it wouldn't. Michael was the only baby who was early, by 3 days. Nicholas and Anna were 4.5 WEEKS late and 12 days late, respectively.

In fact, the day before my EDD, I had a massage. The day OF my EDD, I had a facial and went shopping at the mall. I had tons of strong contractions - strong enough to get me to stop and try to catch my breath, but none of which were consistent enough to cause my body to push a baby out. I couldn't help but secretly hope these were all causing dilation and when the time came, I might just sneeze the baby out. After all, this IS my 4th pregnancy, right????

On my EDD (May 6th) I went to Nordstrom, where some other pregnant woman (somehow) got a strange idea that I wanted to have small talk with her about our pregnant bellies. She was all chipper (probably because she was 36 weeks pregnant, knew she was carrying a girl and had her c-section planned for the next week) and told me she was having a girl. My only response, which was nicer than it might have been, was (with FULL sarcasm), "Good luck with that!" (Ok, so my communication skills will never be polished enough to live at Buckingham Palace.) Rob forbade me to make eye contact or talk to anyone for the rest of the night. Good call.

When 5 days past my EDD came and went, I had a small pity party. I've never been off work an entire month before. The house was clean (and done with Q-tips by yours truly), laundry was done (even if it didn't need to be) and I was officially bored. I didn't deserve ANY pity party attention, since a girlfriend I've had since we were 12 years old had her first baby just shy of 3 weeks late - last week. (sigh)

I went to bed 5 days past my EDD on May 11th and I woke up on May 12th every hour or less with crazy 2+ minutes long and sometimes double and triple peaking. I was up a lot that night and Rob got to sleep. I was just irritated that these were not close enough to produce a baby being expelled from my body - so I figured they would just stop. Well, not so much.

During the day, the contractions ended up 20-35 minutes apart and then down to 8-10 minutes apart, sometimes lasting up to 6 minutes long. The pressue changed and finally at 3:30pm, I got in the birth tub. Nicholas wandered in and touched my top and asked, "Mom, is this waterproof?" Um, sure.

Anna was clear she wanted to catch the baby and Nicholas wanted to cut the cord. I laughed and said that we should rent them out for a fraction of the fee that OBs charge. How hard can this be, when a 3 year old and an almost 5 year old can do all that? (Oh, that's right - I'm doing the hard part!)

I hear someone say something about time, so I asked what time it was - 4:30pm. What????? That was the LAST coherent thing I think I said.

From here on out, it was literally, ONE CONTRACTION that waned, but never went away completely. For my family and friends that made the birth, it was probably like being at the zoo watching the gorilla enclosure. I felt so animalistic. If I had been at the hospital, I would have been forced to have an epidural, just to shut me up. I was loud. I was groaning. I was pushing a baby out. (Which reminds me, God and I are having a serious talk about a design flaw.) I make no apologizes for my sounding or anything else that was witnessed. Considering what our bodies go through in a pregnancy from beginning to end, it's pretty damn amazing.

Ok, so back to the birth...

I'm pushing and pushing and I feel the pressure of the baby on my sacrum and wish so bad I could get it adjusted right now and take the edge off. I can't. I can only hope that this is close to the end. Suddenly, I feel a snap and it feels like being burned from a popping balloon. I say, "Oh my water just broke," and then silently wonder if I just tore. Wow....the burning.

I keep pushing and then I get a short break from the endless contraction, once the head is almost out. Almost???? That head has been there forever. I asked Rob to check and see if the head is out. He tells me, "No." No?????? OMG. So, I push some more and still not out. I push some more, still not out. Finally, he tells me to stop. He sees the cord around the neck and unloops it. As Rob is unlooping the cord, one shoulder and arm is born. (Oh, thank God....my first moment of relief....to be followed by, you guessed it, a peak in the endless contraction.)

One more good push and the baby is born into the water. I reach down to retreive the baby and need unloop the cord from another trip around the neck. I gently pull the baby out of the water. As I am doing this, I hear my dad ask, "Is it a boy?" I look at Rob with the same question on my face, to which his facial expression replies, "It just might be." As I lift the baby to my chest, I feel testicles and know it's a boy.

I love this part. NINE months of waiting to know one simple question, to which the answer is only one of two possiblities. I was certain this baby was a girl, but alas, it was not. We are thrilled. We never care about the sex of the baby. It really doesn't matter to us, but we are glad HE's here.

We don't have a name yet. We aren't in a hurry, since we really want a name to fit him, like the rest of our kid's names fit each of them.

Nicholas touched the baby after he was born and said, "Mom, he has hair just like me," since Michael and Anna have blonde hair and Nicholas has dark hair.

Anna won't stop asking, "Mom, can I kiss the baby?"

Michael is really thrilled to be a big brother to another baby.

PS: Anna decided, once the head was born, that she wanted OUT of that birth tub. Nicholas changed his mind and let Michael cut another cord.

It will all be fine. I wouldn't trade mine for the world! Just take it one day at a time. It gets easier as they get older and they really do entertain each other. Our youngest slipped in after two of our little ones passed away. We had thought that we were done after the fifth. We thank God for blessing us with this bundle of energy. I can't even begin to imagine my life with out each and every one of my treasures.

Everything will be ok! Congrats and take good care of yourself. The hard part is over--going from 2-3. 4, will be relatively easy for you--- pamper yourself and enjoy this pregnancy. This little one was meant to be!

M

I came from a family of 6 and my dad has 5 brothers. I think the hardest transition is from one to 2 kids. After that I think it would be easier. Mom's are tough creatures-you can totally do this! I can't imagine life without my younger siblings.
When are you due? I just found out I am pregnant with my 3rd. Congratulations mama!

I come from a family of 4 kids. I was 3rd out of 4. LOVE coming from a big family. Sure there is a lot of chaos but it's fun and I think it helped shape who I am today. There was always someone to play with and now that I'm older I'm glad to have 3 other siblings out there to help take care of my parents, etc. Enjoy it! It's a blessing!

YOu said it yourself, If you can handle three you can handle four and it will be OK.

We were done at three, I sent mine on a deployment, he was to get his vasectomy there, in Okinawa. I found out after he left that I was pregnant. Then the Navy refused to do the procedure. I had to give him permission.

Our number four is such a blessing to us. All of them are, but he's the kind of kid that makes you want to have more.
You will be crazy busy, the little years will fly by. The teen years you will live out of your car and eat a lot of fast food. Unless you buy one of those car grills. lol
I had a mother's helper for about 6 months after number 4 came along. She was a young teen, maybe 14.

Congratulations!!!!

I just want to say congratulations....I would love to have four children. :) I am envious! You are still in the midst of babydom so you will be just fine..it is all fresh for you and you still have all of the baby gear. It might just add another year or so to the craziness but in the big picture, it will be really great. And if it is a boy...so nice for your little guy to have a brother so close in age to hang with. :) Enjoy!

Hello, I remember when I realized I was pregnant with my fourth one. I was not a happy camper. I also remember one of my daycare parents mentioning abortion. I was shocked. Anyway, I thought I was losing him early in the pregnancy and it was then that I realized how much I wanted this baby. He was born very healthy and I was able to deliver him with no medication. He is now 33 years old and has been such a joy to me. He is kind, affectionate, smart, handsome and witty. He is a wonderful father and I am so proud of him. I also feel the same way about my first three kids, but this is about him. He was such a blessing and was the easiest child to raise.
Good luck with your precious family.
K. K.

I was totally freaked out when we found out we were having number 4. #3 was only 9 months old and then the doctor told us that #4 could be twins. That was such a shocker and thankfully she was a single birth. I do know that she was a twin but God felt that she would be enough for us. AND SHE IS!! You have awesome helpers with your daughters. My first two are much older than my last two but were sometimes good helpers when needed. I love being a mom of 4 kids. You will too!! Congratulations!!

aww, congrats :) I had a friend who was blown away when she got prego with #4 and she cried and all that and now he is like 4 yrs old and as you know of course she could never imagine life without him etc etc and they are a great happy family :) Your post did make my heart skip a beat though bc we just had our third and feel done and when you said the vasectomy was scheduled for next week I thought, YIKES!! We plan to do the whole vasectomy thing too, guess we should get on that sooner rather than later!! ;) I do have several friends who have four, I think they planned on it but they are doing so great and all the moms I am thinking of have all even gotten their figures back! So don't worry mama, it will be ok. Plus as you said if you are handling three...what is one more in the mix? My third is just now three weeks old so I look forward to being able to say I am actually handling three!! I did cook a great dinner tonight and everyone had a bath...so we are getting there ;) I think it is great news and you have all your pregnancy to adjust to the idea and you will be a great big happy family. Congrats again and I know things will be just great!

I'm 15 weeks with our 'vasectomy was scheduled when we found out I was pregnant' #4. Congrats, mamma! After the shock wears off, you'll be fine!

Repeat after me "Better full than empty". Best comeback when anyone tells me in a catty voice "You have your hands full." Oh, and I always reply excitedly "Christmas is SO fun at our house"!

Sounds like you're very blessed and you'll be just fine!

(BTW, my husband was out of work when we found out #4 was on his way. Concerned about time and $? Yes. New to us minivan? Yes. But it's all worked out wonderfully and we can't imagine our family without him!)

Congratulations! It's totally normal to be freaked. My second was a super surprise. I was crying so hard when i told my husband, he thought my mom had died.

Give it time to settle into your head, and then you can prepare and be excited for baby #4 :-)