Pregnant and Short Tempered

I found that it helped to talk to my son and tell him that mommy is pregnant and tired and I really need some help. I would apologize if I got short and would tell him that my emotions are high because I am so tired, and that he didn't do anything wrong, or tell him that I get frustrated easily. He seemed to appreciate it and the extra hugs helped to.

I sort of feel the same way. My patience are very very thin with my 27 month old daughter. Im due in 2 1/2 weeks. When we get ready to go somewhere it seems like she always wants to push my buttons. Taking her coat off, running and hiding from me, touching and grabbing everything in site...It seems like she knows what she is doing to me...

I feel sometimes like just exploding but I don't. I bite my tongue and take a deep breath. I know she doesn't understand sometimes when to stop doing something. We've really been working with her to follow simple instructions and direction so she can be trusted when we have the new baby...Not going that great.

Hi T.,

I feel your pain and am currently experiencing the same thing. It SUCKS and I feel so terrible afterward. What I have found to be the most effective countermeasure is to just get out of the house as much as possible. I seem to be MUCH better at holding it together when we venture out in public. So, LOTS of long walks, trips to the park, shopping-less trips to the mall where we just walk and go to the indoor play area, zoos, pumpkin patches, Halloween stores (just for fun), etc. I try not to plan too much in my day, and to just take it in stride. It also helps if I keep myself a few steps ahead of him so that he doesn't have to do much waiting around for ME to get my stuff together in order to get out of the house.

Sounds very familiar. The problem, at least for me, was staying home with the toddler. It just does something to make you snap. Seriously, consider getting him in preschool every single day, for as many hours as you can afford.
I would feel so bad for losing my temper, etc. with my children when pregnant. I did put them in a lot of preschool because I know they were better off. He is 3 so I am sure there is full day and half day near you.
Time it so you can nap. Nap, nap, nap. That's important! Best of luck!
It did not get better when the baby was born. It got worse. So, I am always proactive and try to keep the older ones out of the house as much as possible. I want them to know peace and calm, and I know my limits. If I cannot provide that, I make sure they are in the hands of caregivers who can.

T. I am so there with you. This is my third pregnancy and this is the first time I feel like I am being mean - and only mean to my three year old twins, my 8 mo luckily gets the protection of being just a baby.

My main problem is that I am much much more unable to handle stress, especially the kind where we have to get out the door, where they are procrastinting doing what I ask, where I am exhausted and they wont nap too.

One thing that is helping more is that I am being upfront about my feelings with them instead of just snapping at them when they push push push. I will say to them that they need to stay quiet in thier room because mommy is tired and needs to sleep (we have a gate so they have to stay). Since they often insist they need no sleep even if they do, we discuss how mommy will feel if I don't get a nap(cranky) and how mommy will feel if I do get a nap (Happy and ready to play with them). I then remind them that for me to sleep they need to play with thier toys/dolls/books in bed. It works about 50% of the time. Three year olds are beginning to understand empathy and it helps for us to show them we have feelings to. You want to use I statements like. "When you do not get shoes on, I get frustrated and angry because I want us to get to the library on time to enjoy the program. Do you want to miss some of our fun at the library?" You statements like "When you do not get shoes on you make me frustrated and angry" don't work as well and encourage arguement.

I will also model self regulating behaviour for them. I tell them straight up, "Mommy is very frustrated and I need a time out. I am going to walk up to my room and take a few minutes. You need to do X Y and Z while I am gone if you want me to play with you when I am done".

My friend aslo got me a chart with faces on it and I am going to work with them to help them understand and name feelings. I also have a thermometer and we are going to work on some words to use together if we are getting into the red zone so they can learn to tell me how they are feeling as well. I am sure you can find one on the internet.

OH and preschool is great IF you can afford it, I wouldn't go for all the time though, just a few hours a week can make an amazing differnce in your patience level and can help you to bond with baby after he comes.

I am there with you -- I am short with my 3 year old and shorter yet with my husband. Heck, I have even been short with my boss -- and he doesn't know I am prego yet (only 10 weeks along). It is tough and I am REALLY trying to take a deep breath and think before I speak...but sometimes I feel like mommy just needs a TIME OUT. Good luck and if you find anything that works -- let me know! :) ha!

I can't offer much advice, but I sure can empathize. I am seven months pregnant, work full time, and have a three year old and a seven year old. I feel SOOOO cranky, and I feel like all I do some days is nag. I have actually put myself in time out a few times and have done a lot of deep breathing. A lot of it is when we are busy or at the end of the day when everyone is tired. I am so tired of being cranky. I just try to be positive and know this will end soon. Good luck!!

This may sound weird, but try taking a good cod liver oil every day. More and more studies are showing it can be more effective in combatting depression that prescription antidepressants, and it's even a very effective treatment for schizophrenia.

Of course, I'm not saying you're depressed or schizophrenic. I'm not either, but I try to take a spoonful every morning. Sometimes I go through phases where I forget to take it for a while, and I can really tell a difference in my mood when I start again. Maybe it's a placebo effect, but I don't care. I'm so much happier when I'm taking it. It's also great for your health, and your growing baby's health. Lots of DHA and Omega-3's. So good for a developing brain.

I did a lot of research and talked to doctors, and the best CLO I've found is the Carlson brand. They make a lemon flavored oil that really doesn't taste fishy. I take a spoonful chased by a very small sip of juice (just because I don't like the texture), and it's not bad at all. My son loves it...he calls it "lemon oil" and sucks it right down. I order it online...it's much cheaper than buying it at Whole Foods or New Seasons.

Good luck!

The first time around you have all the time in the world for yourself. The second time around you're on your three-year-old's schedule. Believe me, I've been there! I was pregnant with twins when my son turned 2 and same thing, I was so much more tired, grumpy, etc., and I don't think it was the twin pregnancy, I think it was not being able to sleep when I wanted, etc. And by the way, I found three a way worse age than 3, unfortunately! Any chance you can get a regular babysitter or daycare a day or two a week? This is what helped me!

Me too. I am the wicked witch right now. It's getting better as the 1st trimester has passed, but I'm still pretty unbearable.
The sad thing? Probably nothing you can do. The good thing? Your 3yo will probably be better behaved for it.
The best thing? Once the baby is here, you'll have this sweet little family and all of your new experiences together will make up for the this grumpy period in your life.
If you can - treat yourself to a pedicure. I swear those make me feel like a whole new person.

I am 38+ weeks pregnant and have been soooo much more hormonal this time around! I can be laughing hysterically one minute, and crying my eyes out the next (which just happened to me yesterday morning). Thankfully, my husband is very very supportive and he has done more intervening with myself and my daughter when I start snapping at her and losing my patience (she is such a good little girl... I just can't handle things like I use to!). I do apologize and I do tell her that I am just not handling things very well and that it is my problem, not hers. She seems too understand as much as an almost 5 year old can. My husband has hooked me up with massage appointments every week for several weeks now (she specializes in prenatal massages... I even get to lay on my "belly" because she has the equipment to do so -and this feels SOOOO good!)... that has helped TREMENDOUSLY. My husband is a big believer (and I am becoming so myself), that our mood centers have a lot to do with the alignment/muscles in our body. And... being pregnant is hard on the body! The muscle spasms and all of that can really play a big role in our moods! So... if there is any way you can do something like this, beg for it! LOL! Good luck and best wishes!

T. go for long walks. Ask a friend to watch him for a while so you can get out.
Take him to a playgroup at the Y and go swimming. Get into a prenatal yoga class. Physical activity will calm you down.

I've never had to deal with a toddler while pregnant, but I can sure see the potential. The science geek in me might put it like this:

(Hormones x Toddlerhood) + Exhaustion = Friction < Heat < Detonation

One of my greatest discoveries as a mom, and later working with groups of children in my religious community, is that if I can genuinely connect with the needs the children are expressing through their behavior, they feel understood, loved and ever-so-much-more cooperative.

This takes advance planning and creativity, and that seems like a barrier when you're already tired and stressed. But there are experts who can share their experience, whose master techniques we can incorporate into our own lives. Thus actually reducing stress and increasing happiness for mom and children. Thus encouraging even better behavior over the long haul.

My most favorite such resource ever is the brilliant little book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish. I've used this approach with stunning success with my grandson since he was around 2.5. The authors also offer a companion book that I have heard highly recommended, and that will probably serve you well in coming years, called Siblings Without Rivalry. One of the great strengths of these authors is that they have a plan for addressing the child's needs while simultaneously helping the parent to get her own needs met.

I hope you'll give these books a try. I believe you'll be glad you did, and so will your son.

Been there. Frankly, for us it didn't get better until my now one year old night weaned and began sleeping through the night. Here's what helped - distractions. Lots of them. Get out, be active, keep your toddler busy. Lots of playdates. More hours at preschool. Make sure you are both as well-fed and well-rested as possible. Get help from relatives, friends, babysitters. And give lots of forgiveness and cuddles, all the way around. It will get better eventually.

I am in the same boat. Im 32 weeks pregnant and have a 20 month old son at home. Lately every thing he does is driving me crazy! Even little things. My DH drives me insane also. Its like he doesnt have a clue Im pregnant sometimes. He doesnt realize we will have a new baby here in like 6 weeks and nothing I mean NOTHING is even ready for her. And on top of that I work for a crabby old man who blows cigarette smoke in my face all day long! Im pretty sure the stress of being pregnant along with having kid(s) already makes it harder. Lately I have been trying to lay off taking my anger out on Dh and DS but it is hard. Good Luck.

Sounds like life with a toddler, pregnant or not!

I mostly hated my toddler son when I was pregnant, and I felt terribly guilty about it. He is also not what you would ever call an "easy" child. I'll don't have any real answers for you, just that I have a lot of regret when it comes to thinking back on his 14 months-24 month age span because that's when I was pregnant. The good news is, I A. thoroughly ENJOYING this age with my second boy, who just turned 2. When your second baby turns 3, you will hopefully be rewarded with similar insight...unless you go and get pregnant again! LOL.

More sex may be the answer. My hormones are so crazy when I am pregnant, it's like I need it more. The only other suggestion that I have is food and that is not always a good choice for stress relief. There is also prayer at the begining of every day. Good luck.