2 Year Old Not Napping

Hi, My son was 9 months old when I got pregnant with my daughter so I was very tired. My son at that time had also decided to stop napping on a regular basis and that would be when I would nap as well. I found it easier to lay down with him and then move him to a separate bed and finish napping myself. I hope this helps. Good luck!

My son is going to be 3 on the 13th of this month and he started the same thing when he was 2. I learned that no matter what you do, rock them, sing to them, play music, nice bath first..nothing works! My husband I have learned that the only way he will take a nap is if its not forced....examples of what we do; drive up to the store (i know carseat pain) wait for him to fall asleep then bring the entire carseat in the house and let him sleep, get his blankie and a bottle and let him watch his father play boring video games, find a not so interesting movie, let him play all alone in his room with something that he loves, he usually tires him self out. Just a few examples...I think that 2 and 3 is the hardest age. It seems like terrible 2's but just wait it's really terrible 3's! I hope some of my examples help....N.

It sounds like you have an active little boy. My first son didn't nap at all, but 10 minute power naps since he was born. But when he turned around 2 he needed a nap and finally started taking them.
So I have been where you are to some extent.
Something that stood out to me was that is the most critical I think is that it sounds like he is getting away with whatever he wants. You said he gets out of bed repeatedly and messes up the room and kicks the door, so you eventually (after trying to be stern by ditching the plan) let him out (and he gets what he wants) but because he did need a nap but didn't get one then he falls asleep at the table.
He is trying to rule the roost, and being the good mother that you want to be, you don't want to hurt him or crush his spirit, so you give in. I was just like that too, trust me. And my first son made all the decisions without us even realizing it. So I'm not blaming you at all. It's easy to fall into that without realizing your doing anything wrong.
The first thing to understand with any parenting technique is that whatver you do, you are "Training" your child to respond in either a good or bad way. By letting your son mess up the room or kick the door without any stern consequences, and then letting him out of bed, you have "trained" him that his behavior will eventually let him get up. That kind of behavior should not be tolerated at all. I firmly believe in spanking, as I have seen the good benefits of it and it does not make your child angry or become abuseful as some skeptics say. But if your against spanking, try something else. Its hard to put a 2 year old in time=out when he's supposed to be in bed. But you could firmly pick him up, tell him, "NO, you may NOT get out of bed. That is unacceptable. Mommy told you to stay in bed and go night night," and leave the room. The second he gets up again, go in and pinch his thigh, or a little piece of skin on his arm with just a tiny pinch. It doesn't really hurt that much and it isn't as invasive as spanking, yet it gives your child a bad result for his actions (and works great! Many mothers I know use this) and after a few of those your son will get the idea that you mean no monkey business anymore. He will eventually have no more pay offs for acting that way. He will get nothing out of getting up and destroying the room or kicking the door. When he realizes there is no other alternative, he will go to sleep and if your consistent with this method, you will have "Retrained" him that what you say, you mean, and he is to obey you because your the mother and he is the child. If you do believe in spanking, then every single time he gets out of bed, or gets out of a laying positiong (if he's sitting in bed screaming at you, or destroying the blankets) go in, sternly tell him with a calm voice "I told you to go to sleep. This is a no no. This is unacceptable. And swat him once on the bottom or the bare thigh lightly with a spoon just enough to barely make it sting a bit. It hardly hurts. You can try it on your own leg if you like to get the feel of how hard you think is right. And this works the best. You'll have him trained within 1-3 days by doing this very consitently.
The book all my friends use that has taught me all this great stuff is called, "To train up a Child," by Michael Pearl. Its a great book. I had no idea that everything I was doing was the wrong things and was making a monster instead of training him to obey lovingly.
Wish ya all the best~
H.~
SAHM of 2 boys, Rylan (4) and Rory (2)

Jackie, I feel your pain. It sounds like you recieved a bunch of good advice from other moms, so I'll just add a couple of comments. My son will not nap unless his room is really dark, so I have blankets hung over the curtian rods, and he seems to nap better if he drinks warm milk, sometimes it takes 2 or 3 sippy cups - which of course, then increases the chances of a wet bed. But I would prefer to change his clothes and the sheets any day over having an un-napped grouchy boy in my house.

Good luck.

Hello,
I understand you're worry about loosing the naps. My daughter is almost 2 1/2 and for a couple of weeks I thought she was needing to cut out the naps even though I knew she was tired. She would also do everything she could to keep herself awake. I started being really firm with her but sitting in a rocking chair in her room to make sure she stayed in bed. I think her problem was she didn't understand that she really needed a nap and she didn't know what to do to help herself fall asleep. Maybe that is your sons problem. I started teaching her during nap time telling her that she needed to lay down and she needed to lay still. Sometimes she wouldn't go to sleep and I would give up after about 1 1/2 hours. Most of the time she would fall asleep. Once she seemed to be getting the hang of it I started leaving her in her room by herself and told her she had to stay in bed and I wasn't going to come in when she hollered for me. It seems to have worked, as I write this at 1:15 in the afternoon she is taking a nap that she put herself asleep for. Every child is different, I don't know, maybe your son is done with naps. I hope for your sake that he isn't. Good luck.
A.

My son, now almost 4, did the same thing when I was pregnant with my second. When I went on maturnity leave at 8 months,I think I I needed naps more than he did. What worked for me was telling him that the baby was tired. We would go lay down in my bed, and he would sing quietly to my tummy, until we all fell asleep. He would tell people that he sang his baby sissy asleep, when really he would lay there and fall asleep himself. I have to agree with the routine thing too. We would do this everyday after lunch. It was cute after she was born, because when she would be fussy, he would tell me that she needed a nap, and he would try to sing her to sleep. I hope this helps a little.

Maybe give him a reward when he naps. Tell him, "If you're good, and you take your nap and keep your room clean, I'll take you to the park", or some other incentive he really likes - maybe walking with him and his bike or pushing him in the stroller. Positive incentives work really well. You can also have a sticker chart you can make on the computer to log the days he does what you ask, then give him a reward for multiple days. For my kids it's the park. The extra time I have to spend giving my children their reward is worth the peace and quiet and lack of frustration when they get into mischief.

Hey there Jackie! I just HAD to respond because I have a Zane too! He will be 4 this August. That name sure is becoming more popular, isn't it? :)

With my Zaney-boy, I actually started to lay down with him for a few minutes to help him wind down for his nap. I actually talked to my pediatrician about it because he was skipping naps and then staying up until midnight or later! His doc explained to me that when these guys get sleepy and don't get the rest they need during the day, then they get over-tired and their bodies start accommodating by pumping adrenalin through their little veins...hence the late nights. SOOO...I picked a time during the day when I felt he typically got drowsy and began to lay down with him saying it was quiet time and mom would tell him a quiet story. After the story, it was time to close our eyes and rest our bodies so we could get up and play again. It worked really well for us to the point that I could tell the story, get up to leave after giving him kisses and he knew it was time to close his eyes and he would fall asleep.

Of course, this took some time to make our routine so whatever you decide to do, consistancy is key! I wish you all the best! I'm sure you are exhausted! Good luck and congratuations on your pregnancy!

I can only offer what I do with my 2 year old twins. I let them know when nap time will be. They love Dora and Bakyardagins. Luckily these are on and end about the time I would like them to nap. So I simply share that after the show is over that it is time for a nap. When it is over I tell them to gather their blankets "it's nap time." This seems to work for us. Also making sure they have a secure item with them also helps. They love their blankets and their blanket animals. Maybe finding his special toy to take with him because "they are so tired" may help also.

Hi. Congrats on the baby I just had my third in April. I want to recommend a book. It is Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three by Paula Polk Lillard. We used it starting with our second child and will again. It has you set up the childs room to be completely child proof, and I mean everything. Then put up a baby gate. The child gets to play and have free reign but is confined safely.
Your 2 year old may be to big but your baby won't be. As soon as they are a little mobile put the matress on the floor and let them have the room to themselves. My middle child grew up this way and learned to put himself to bed when he was tired. If he was being difficult I had a special toy he got for naptime. Once he knows he isn't going anywhere and he has done everything he can think of - he will crawl into bed.

Congrats on the new baby. I'm sorry to say that naptime is probably coming to an end but it's not quite over. (My oldest stopped napping regularly at six months, so at least your little guy went longer than that!) When my oldest was two and I was pregnant, I insisted on "quiet time." He didn't have to be in his bed, or even in his bedroom but he DID have to sit and be as "quiet as a mouse" no matter where he was. This became his "television time" and he thought it was a real treat to be able to watch what he wanted for an entire hour each day. Some days he would want Sesame Street or Dora the Explorer and some days it was a Disney movie, but I always gave him two choices. If he did NOT want to make a choice, Mommy would decide . . . and Mommy would choose "nap." He didn't want to go to his room, so I only had to play that card one time. At first, I would have to sit with him and remind him that quiet time meant he had to sit quietly and watch his show or look at his book but he started looking forward to quiet time after only a short time. I was able to relax or do some housework during his quiet time, and sometimes he would even doze off. But just the act of resting was enough to give him a little re-charge, so he would be happy and alert until bedtime.

my son also did this, and still does some days! I am learning, its ok for him to be in his room and not sleeping. So, he goes to his room, we have a nap routine (reading stories and singing a sleep song) and then I leave. If he gets up he has to have the door shut instead of cracked like he likes. The door has a safty nob on so he cant open it. That allows me to shower, clean the other room, or nap myself without worrying about him getting into trouble. 9x out of 10 he goes to sleep but it can take up to an hour! He usually has to stay in there for 2 hours because its "naptime" or quite time. I do check on him and tuck him back in bed several times to encourage him to sleep and make sure he is not creatively doing something harmful (even though his room is child safe). Routine is critical for this age and he knows he will be in his room in the afternoon so he usually just plays until he is tired and then sleeps (he has conked out on the floor a few times though lol) That adreniline rush is really hard to combate and having quite alone time helps. Also, my son is VERY sensitive to sugar! He gets no sugar before nap, exept maybe some fruit and we avoid it most all the time anyway! Also, getting some morning outings or exercise has helped, wether dancing to music as a family or running to the grocery store. Good luck, Jen
p.s. I wouldnt let him kick the door, just tell him NO and put him back in bed over and over and soon he will learn that if he wants to play he has to be quite, because not only will that drive YOU crazy but it will wake the baby when it comes. Good Luck, Jen (Matthew is 2 3/4yrs and Rachel is 11 1/2months)

Ohhh naptime. How I miss that! LOL. Mine are 4 and 2.5. Like most moms, I say quiet time. I'll let him pick out a movie, and sometimes I lay for a few mins and tickle them. They love that. Pretend that you're sleeping and they will think it's time for them to sleep too! It has worked for me..hehe. One thing you can do that might help is let him be very active all day. When you can see that he is about to fall asleep too early, try to distract him (take him outside to ride bikes, play games, etc) or let him color or do play doh. That seems to work for my kids...most of the time. Eventually he will get on a regular sleep pattern. My son who is 2.5 yrs seems like he still really needs naps. He is a much happier little guy! I know being pregnant isn't easy...you are so tired yourself, all you can think about is sleep. It will get easier. Just get a routine going. :) Good luck.

mine did that recently too, instead of going the toddler bed route since he can open doors etc I bought a crib tent II from babies r us. it was sooooooooooo well worth the money he knows he cant get out of it, and takes naps again. He wont be two for another month. This thing is 100% safe and a total life saver, especially since he can open doors even with the child protective knobs covers on them!
maybe consider putting him back in the crib with one of those? but make sure its the II, the I they can get to the zipper to open it!
http://www.amazon.com/Tots-Mind-Cozy-Crib-White/dp/B00014...

Hi Jackie. My daughter quit napping before she even turned 1! It's crazy! I gave her "quiet" time instead. She had to sit on her bed and read or do something quietly. When we put a tv in her room at age 2 we started putting a movie or show on for quiet time. We only did the quiet time when we saw she was getting tired or cranky. Now she has WAY too much energy to do even quiet time. Unfortunately some kids grow out of the nap time phase really early. Your lucky he lasted to age 2 :)

I don't know anyone that hasn't gone through this. Im a mom of a three and six year old, so I feel your pain.

My "trick" actually is kind of tricky...I lay down w/my little one. Stroke her head, speak softly, breath deeply...and it takes about twenty minutes sometimes longer, and of course sometimes I fall asleep too, but its really the only thing that works for me. -Well, that and making sure they get a lot of exercise in the morning and a nice heavy lunch before nap time.

Wish I had a simple answer, but my son stopped napping before he was 2. He's full of energy all day and did the exact same thing. He'd refuse the napno matter what I tried and sometimes he'd fall asleep too early like 4:30 or 5PM and then wake up and stay awake all night or like you said get up at 4AM or 5AM. I've been suffering too. He's almost 3 now. Things are starting to change. He sometimes comes to me to tell me he's tired if he wants to nap. Mostly he doesn't nap and still goes to bed fairly early. I try to keep him up to at the very least 7PM. I noticed he took more naps and slept better through the night when I let him play hard outside or with other kids. Living in Washington doesn't always allow outdoor play. My good friend who runs a daycare says that he needs more stimulation than others to burn him out and she said that he was going to bed way too early.
My suggestion... what has worked better for me...burn him out. Let him play outside for hours, play with other kids even at a mall play area, plan more activities, talk walks and don't stroll him let him walk or ride a bike. I also made sure that I changed my attitude about him sleeping. I was getting so tired myself from not having a break that I was grumpy and frustrated and basically giving him anxiety before bedtime. Now I turn off all noise in the house take him up to bed and lay there with him and help him unwind by making up stories or reading a book. Bedtime transition is much easier these days..I no longer have to lay with him and calm him down to sleep, but I did have to for about 1 year. Well anyway...that's all I got for you. Oh wait one more thing. If you bathe him in the morning...try bathing him before sleeptime. Whatever you do try to be very consistant he will eventually come around. Like my friend explained you can keep him up to 11:00PM and be amazed that he still wakes at 4 or 5AM, but it takes time to change your sleep pattern. Think about that one. I could be tired as heck but still wake on cue because that's what my body is use to. So I guess what I'm saying don't try something for a day or two give it a few weeks before you decide if it's working or not. Good luck. G.

Hello Jackie,
I had the same thing happen to my oldest son when he was just about 2. At that age they're really learning independence. They want to "big boys." What I finally started doing was asking him what he would like to do before nap time. I would offer reading books, music, or a movie. I also would tell him he had a half an hour before nap time. Talk to him. I also started the "talking blanket." Every single time he didn't want to take a nap or go to bed, I'd bring out the talking blanket. We'd sit on the floor w/ no noise and talk. The only issue you have to overcome with kids that age is they're FULL of energy. That being anger, happiness, whatever. They have to have a few minutes to wind down. Try telling him it's time for a nap in XX minutes. After XX minutes, offer a book or movie ect. It will take a while, but it worked for mine. He's 4 now and doesn't really have a nap time anymore. I'm leaning more toward the bedtime thing. I also have a 3 month old. I'm just going to tell you now...keep him involved with your pregnancy. Not the "details" but telling him what's going on with mommy. Then there won't be such a huge shift when the baby comes. CONGRATS by the way!!!!

L.