Pregnancy Complications and Wants to Have Another Baby

I would like to have more children also, but I am scared to death about the whole process. It took us 18 months to conceive our sweet heart. I started bleeding and cramping at 5.5 weeks and that lasted until 20 weeks. I went into labor at 22 weeks and was on bed rest until 28 weeks. I got off bed rest and broke a rib after fainting in the shower, didn't know at the time, but I was severely anemic... Back on bed rest until 38 weeks, when I developed cholestasis and severe pre-ecclampsia. I had an emergency c-section where I lost a lot of blood and luckily they found the cause of my inferitlity ( endometriosis) so they also scraped that out, took out 3 cysts and cleared my tubes. My recovery was long and painful. I am terrified to go through that all again. Not to mention my 2 day old baby choked in the nursery and had to be intubated. I always thought I would have 3 or 4 children, but I am not sure I can handle this again. My daughter is 16 months now and doctor says because the endo is so bad that I should consider ttc before my baby is 2. I don't know what to do........sorry this isn't advice at all.......I guess I just needed an ear too:)

What does your OBGYN say about another baby?
I know both of my pregnancies were so different. With my daughter I had preterm labor at 32 weeks, then put on bedrest and then aquired preeclampsia at 35 weeks and had to have a emergency induction at at 38 weeks. My blood pressure what so high when I delivered but went back down after birth.
With my second, my son, my pregnancy was a breeze, then around 37 weeks the Dr saw he was going to be a big baby and we decided to induce labor at 38 weeks, he was crooked and wouldn't deliver vaginally, he then became in distress so I had to have a csection but he was healthy and fine.
Unless something happened that caused the chances of complications to go up for you, then discuss what you want with your OBGYN and they are the best to let you know of the risks. I thought for sure I would get preeclampsia on the second pregnancy and did not at all.

I had HELLP syndrome with my first. The Dr's said I had a 25percent chance of having it again. Fortunately, my second pregnancy went well until my husband wanted sex all the time and I went into preterm labor at 34 weeks and was on bed rest for the last 2 weeks. Both healthy babies. I am now on my third and they are watching me closely. I say every pregnancy is different and the Dr's should tell you your chance of having what you had a second time. Take time and enjoy your 4 month old and ask the questions of your OB. Good luck.

S.,
I'm soooo sorry your first birth was so difficult. It really grieves my heart that so many women end up with such a trial, when birth can be a great experience. I hope that you have been able to work through that trauma--if not, you and your husband should. I don't know why you ended up with a c-section; it may have been legit, or sadly it may not have. My best recommendation is that you really research all of the things that caused you to go down that path, starting at the beginning: you and your husband's knowledge and philosophy of birth, your doctor or midwife (attitude, history, philosophy of birth, choices or demands of you or your birth--ie: did your doctors rush things), your diet (see the "No-Risk" pregnancy diet--Dr. Tom Brewer at www.blueribbonbaby.org), what interventions you may have had, genetic problems/complications, benefits or risks of drugs, whether you induced or not, assistance in labor or a chaotic experience. Go down the list and see what may have gone wrong...This will help you in adjusting your choices or deciding if you can/should have more babies.

Having a VBAC is a great way to go; I think you can still have children, but you may have to make different choices to get there. If your doctor was poor (only 10-15% of c-sections are legit--the rest are due to unneccessary interventions), you may need to find someone new--honestly, I recommend a midwife and homebirth, for prenatal care at least; you can always switch to an OB later. If you read the studies in British Medical Journal, women who have homebirths have less problems and better outcomes. Sadly, the U.S. is listed as 30th of all industrialized countries for good outcomes of birth (defined as least amount of morbidity and mortality of both mom and baby). We are very quickly moving toward being one of the worst places of top nations to have a baby. The CDC admitted that there is a high probability of the death rate of mothers during labor, delivery or postpartem is 4x higher than recorded b/c only 21 states record that women died during birth on their death certificates! Check out World Health Organizations' (WHO) information on best and worst places to have babies. Unfortunately, the majority of women do not know that you are 3x more likely to die from a planned c-section than vaginal birth. Some medical people will argue this until they're blue in the face (with no evidence-based research to back them), but the U.S. is earning a not-so-good track record internationally. There is some very good RESEARCH-BASED evidence that states why we're having so many problems in the U.S. A lot of these problems can be avoided, if you know what they are and what to stay away from.

As for a homebirth or birth center, talk to a midwife, she can let you know, based on your history, whether you would be too high risk or not. Read "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin. She runs a Birth Center in Tennessee and they have the best birth statistics in the U.S.A and much of the world (healthiest moms and babies, least amount of complications). Talk and pray with your husband to see if you are peaceful with stopping or if you would like to try again and what REALLY is the best place for you and your baby to be born. Birth is one of the greatest experiences for women; you will remember it the rest of your life--and it will either scar you, or bring you joy. I hope, for your sake, that you get to experience the latter.
Here's what the American Academy of Family Physicians said about VBAC, puplished 2005... http://www.annfammed.org/cgi/data/3/4/378/DC1/1
And what the British Medical Journal published about whether homebirths are safe or not...
http://bmj.bmjjournals.com/cgi/content/full/330/7505/1416...
Also, you can rent "The Business of Being Born" from Netflix, which is a documentary-type film on birth in America; this gives a lot of food for thought and is a good starting place.
Best of luck!
J., Birth Advocate

Hi, I have had four babies, three of them a long time ago!
But I found out this time that I was Factor 5 Leiden, have your been checked for this? It causes blood clotting, so when I saw that in your letter, I thought it might be the cause. It is somewhat common, but not frequently diagnosed. It was not until I'd had two blood clots in my legs, that I was finally checked for it. I had a healthy pregnancy, and did have to give myself shots everyday, but it was not really that bad. It was worth the peace of mind, to know I was doing what I needed to, to protect myself and the baby.

Just be sure to get your doctor's opinion, and then make it a matter of prayer between you and your husband. You will know what to do.

Hi S.,
As a trauma nurse, I would obviously advise you to seek the opinion of a high risk pregnancy doctor. You have been blessed with 3 beautiful children and a wonderful husband, more than a lot of people and your son is only 4 months old. I guess I would explore WHY you really want to have another child. Of course, every pregnancy is different but your children need to have you around more than you need another child.
Best Wishes.

My first was a very difficult, long delivery that ended in a c-section, from which I did not recover well. # 2 was much easier, although was a scheduled c-section due to the complications with the first. I'm now pregnant a third time and finally got a reason for my difficulties and am being treated. Both my ob and my specialist are expecting a perfectly normal (C-scetion) delivery and healthy baby, in spite of some test results not being normal. I think each baby is very different, and although it can be scary, as long as your doctors okay it, I say go for it! You're still pretty close to your last difficulties. Medicine makes huge strides everyday, so the next time, those difficulties may not even be a problem. GL!

How old are you? What did your previous OB tell you about future pregnancies? While maternal deaths due to pregnancy and delivery complications are very rare, they do happen. Much depends on your current health status; are you overweight; do you have diabetes; do you smoke; also very important is your current age. A good place to start investigating would be to contact a perinatalogist. These are docs who specialize in problem pregnancies and deliveries, and could do a pretty in-depth interview with you and give you your best options. On a personal note, the delivery of my last child was horrendous. While we had been hoping to have another child (my second marriage also), we opted not to due to the risk. It was a good choice for us. Good luck!

I had a c-section with my first (being 11 days over, little aminotic fluid, no labor and having turned her from being breech). Then I have had 5 VBACs since with very little complications. I have also had conversations with my OB during each pregnancy to make sure that things were okay for me and the baby. As was said before, each pregnancy is different and as long as you have a good relationship with your OB then you should be fine. I would recommend talking with your OB before you start trying this time, it might put your mind at ease. Good luck.
J.

I think your really shouldn't ask anybody except your qualified OB/GYN. You could find a OB/GYN that specializes in high risk pregancies. I have heard many times that every pregnancy is different and if the complications you had are not ones that should occur again I would consider having another one if I were you. But I do think you should talk to a qualified OB and make a informed decision. Just before having my 7th and last pregnancy I went in for a complete physical and to ask the doctor if I should or could. He assured me that I could and so I went forward. We really wanted to try one last time for a girl and we got her!! Good luck and I wish the best for you and your new husband!!

I got 2 very serious DVT's, (1 clot spanning about 1 and a half feet of vein) 2 weeks after I had my baby girl VIA C-Section. Something happened after the procedure (my doctor never told me, ) and I was circling the drain for 4 hours, no one knew if I was going to make it, to this day I don't know WHAT happened..

It turns out my doctor was supposed to put pumps on my legs, given the fact that I got a blood clot at 17, due to birth control pills. I have since then left my ex (for very, very good reasons) & am engaged to be married to a man that loves me & my daughter. He's perfectly find with being a step father, and not having any biological children of his own because he is scared about my health. I, myself, before even meeting him, knew I wanted another baby. I KNOW, another baby isn't worth the risk of dying and leaving behind 2 little ones and a husband. I have talked to several doctors that say it could be safe, but we'd have to make a "game plan" when I do decide to become pregnant again. I'd consult with an internist, hemotologist, vascular surgeon, obgyn, you name it, any specilalist that could throw in some professional insight, I've seen 'em all because there is no such thing as too-little information.

Email me sometime, I've been looking for someone that is in the same boat as me and it's really hard to find women that have been through something similiar, no one seems to understand.

____@____.com

That goes for anyone on this thread.

xo
M.

Hi S.. First, it's always best to get your OB/GYN's opinion, but even though they will caution you about your risks, they won't usually say bluntly not to have another baby (liability, I suppose). Having said that, I had major complications having my daughter. I'll spare you the whole story, but I nearly bled to death and I did stop breathing, I required emergency surgery. I was told that the weight of another pregnancy could likely rupture that artery, but again was not told specifically not to get pregnant again. We struggled with a decision for a long time. But in the end we decided that our daughter needing a mom outweighs our need for another child, we just weren't willing to risk that. Now looking back (7 years ago), I can't believe we even considered another pregnancy, but I feel for you because at the time it was a real struggle. Good luck.

I understand your dilemma. I have 2 girls ages 2 and 3 and had a PE (pulmonary embolism) on the 2nd time around. I really want (ed) to have a 3rd and have gone thru a lot of personal turmoil over whether or not we should. I spoke with some friends that had blood clots and were on heparin shots twice a day during their pregnancys, which I would have to do as well with my history. They were on their first pregnancys and it was well worth the extra medical attention for them. That being said, having 2 amazing little girls, I have decided not to have another. I want to be here for my girls. I felt that the risk was too big for me to take and my husband feels the same way. This is totally your decision and I completely understand your want and desire for another. What an amazing experience it is. I wish you luck with your decision!

Both of my pregnancies and deliveries were very different. My first was pretty normal--I started having contractions, and they gradually got worse, and 24 hours later, there was a baby. With my second, my water broke, contractions wouldn't start, and I had to be given pitosin (sp?). Then after my son came out, I had postpartum hemmoraging, and lost so much blood, I almost had to have a transfusion. From what I have heard from my doctor, many complications are isolated to that one pregnancy, and you are not more likely to experience them again just because you did the first time. You have two older children--how were your pregnancies and deliveries with them? I would go for it, unless your doctor tells you not to.

Whatever you decide, I would definetly recommend having a doula at your next birth. It sounds like you will (understanably) have some fear around your next pregnancy and birth and a doula can help you through that. Also remember that VBAC's are always an option, there is even one clinic on the Denver area that will do a VBAC after 2 c-sections. I am happy that you and your baby are fine and wish you the best no matter what you choose. For more info about doulas you can go to birthfirstdoula.vpweb.com, dona.org or just do a web search. Best wishes!

I agree that my child can do this

S.,
I had a very difficult pregnancy with my miracle baby. I had a 25% chance of dying and was on bedrest a majority of the time. If I had to go anywhere I had to go in a wheelchair. We had suffered from infertility for 7 years. I had a heart attack at the age of 36 and was told not to get pregnant for at least a year. We didn't think I could get pregnant so didn't worry. We were so suprised and thrilled when 5 months later we found out I was pregnant. He is truly our miracle. Then of course terrified set in. This would be my husbands first child and a child we both wanted. We were adviced to terminate the pregnancy and told I had a 50% chance of dying at first. I knew I couldn't terminate my baby no matter what. My husband of course wanted the baby but wanted me more. I had 2 OB's one a specialist. When we found out I was pregnant I went to the dr twice a week with an ultrasound every 2 weeks to make sure he was growing. By the end I was at the dr every two days and in the hospital more then out. Our son was delieverd by emergency c-section a month early because we both almost died. Our heart rates were both over 200 beats a minute and I delievered half the placenta. Before I went into surgery my OB told me if I didn't get my tubes tied I would die if I got pregnant again. We went ahead with that even though I wanted another child with my husband. It was a slow recovery for me because I am also diabetic and wouldn't stay in bed since my baby was in NICU. Looking back it amazes me that a kidney infection is what almost killed us not my heart but a silly kidney infection. I also know that I wouldn't change one thing since I have my little Conor. He is our miracle and loved so much. Now my cardiologist says you can't even tell I have had a heart attack and that we could have another baby. We have talked about having my tubal reversed so we could have another baby. We have decided to go ahead with the plans of adoption we had before we got gregnant. Even though my heart condition is not bothering it really isn't worth taking a chance when there are so many children out there that need a home. I am not pushing adoption on you though. You need to talk to your doctor before you make any decisions about this. You have 3 wonderful children and an incredible husband that love and need you. That is how I looked at it. Yes I wanted another baby so badly but I had these 3 children and amazing husband. Did I want a baby more then I wanted them? The answer was a huge no for me. I hope this helps.

I think you should get the opionion of your OB. My initial response is that you are fortunate to have 3 healthy children, your husband, and YOUR health. By the description of your 3rd pregnancy, I think your body is trying to tell you that you are done having babies. Is more children for your husband worth your health or your life? Appreciate what you already have. I think it would be a gamble to pursue more children. Maybe adopt? But, I think you already knew the answer to your own question. I would suspect that you are feeling guilty because you want more children with your second husband. I'm sure your husband loves you and doesn't want to put your health at risk. Both you and your husband should meet with your OB. The 3 of you can come to a good decision, I'm sure.