Hi all. I have been posting so much lately but with the new baby coming, lots of major decisions I need to make. The last major decision on my list involves pre-school for my current son. Yes, this major decision fell in my lap around the time I had to make all the other major decisions regarding my new baby due in December. Anyway (and read carefully because this could get confusing)....My son will be 3 yrs old end of November. He was born November 2005. Preschool in my town (in Fairfield county) cut off is the child needs to be 3 yrs BY December 31. You also need to make a decision a year ahead of time if you are considering private. That said, last September (Sept 2007) my son was just turning two and I truly did not think he would be ready for a 3's program Sept 2008 and most of all I did not want him to be the youngest so I did not enroll him. Now that it is October 2008 part of me regrets not enrolling him in a 3's but what is done is done. Now I am actively looking for him to go to preschool starting Sept 2009. I am being told by some of the schools (and the one i like best) that I should put him in a 3's program and start him there in Sept 2009 where he would now be the oldest. I was all for this until I observed classes and visited several places and I think he should be in the 4's starting in Sept 2009. I know we would be back with him being the youngest but developmentally, he is very much on target. He seems to know everything now that I have observed in the 3's class and he will be a year older than he is now when he goes to the 3's. He is also very large for his age (my husband is 6'7"). I fear that if I put him in the 3's in Sept 2009 where he would now be one of the oldest (he will be 4 yrs Nov 2009) he would be very bored and very big compared to the other kids. The professionals at the schools seem to be divided on whether to put him in 3's and 4's. There are pros and cons to each. I feel he would learn from the older kids if he was in the 4's but he could also fall down. Who knows. The biggest reason it seems to start him in 3's is that he is home with a nanny and has playdates and is enrolled in several activities, BUT, he has had no formal curriculum in a school for 3's. I dont feel this is an issue but others do. So I am torn and I have a week to make a decision...which program do I apply to. IF I do 3's, then he must do 4's before he goes to Kindergarten. If I do 4's, he can repeat 4's if need be for another year and if I decide to hold him back because I dont want him to be the youngest in Kindergarten. I am not the type that wants to push my child but I also dont want to make the wrong decision where he is bored out of his mind. Please help.
Thank you for all of your advice. I decided to put him in the 4's and found a great preschool through one of your recommendations. Thanks again.
Are there any openings to put him in the 3s now? I would look into that and enroll him in the 4s for next Sept. That way if he is ready for kindergarden it is an easier transition as 4s in my pre-school in Riverside does seem to prep them better than the 3s. If you hold him back you can either repeat the 4s or find a connector program. I know that First Church and Christ Church have them. Also St. Pauls has an older 4's class.
If the cut off is December and your son's birthday is November, I'd go for putting him in the 4s next year. In every class, SOMEONE needs to be the youngest. There's nothing wrong with that. I was ALWAYS the youngest in my class b/c I was born in February, but put with the class the year before (I skipped first grade). It never bothered me and I never felt like the "baby" in the class. If your son is tall, that's just another reason to keep him with his real class. Assuming he's on track with all the skills he needs to be in a 4s class, I'd say go for the 4s next year.
My twin boys are in a 3s/4s combined class this year. They turned 3 in July. So they are also among the youngest of the 20 kids in their respective classes. The teachers tell me they are doing great... holding their own, making friends, etc....
Best of luck with your decision. And also, keep in mind that if in the 4s next year, things don't seem like they are working out, you can hold him back for kindergarten...
I'd put him in 4's, where he would be if you had enrolled him earlier. He may or may not be exactly 'on track' with his peer group there after starting, but kids vary so much in both their 'academic' capabilities and their behavioral capabilities at that age, that you'd be better off risking that he have a bit more to learn academically to 'catch up' to the others than risk that he be bored throughout the 3s class (and again in the 4s class) and act out behaviorally from sheer boredom. And don't worry about the possibility of holding him back from enrolling in kindergarten if necessary. You'll know by then if he's ready; and if he's not, it doesn't say anything bad about him or you to make the choice to give him more time to prepare for it if he needs it.
The other possibility is to find a preschool that groups both 3 and 4 year olds together within the classroom. My son attended such a program and it was great. The academics were geared to their age/capability but could be more challenging for those who needed that, and behaviorally speaking, it gave 3s older kids to emulate and 4s someone to model good behavior for. My son is an only child, so that proved helpful in terms of socialization and preparing for being in Kindergarten when the entire rest of the school was bigger than him. He was very prepared for kindergarten academically and socially.
This approach could also help alleviate any concerns he may feel if you decide to continue another year before KG - that his friends are moving on and he is not - because some of his friends will move on and others will naturally remain in PreK. It will be easier to explain that it's "just not his time yet".
It's a tough call, but I'm sure you'll make a good choice for him, whatever it may be!
I work in a pre school on long island and have seen this before. If you feel your son is up to speed then put him in the 4's. He will learn how to follow rules in a classroom as he goes along. Once he sees how the other kids act he will fall in line. If you feel he is lagging at all I would not suggest this but if he is on target he will be fine. Worst case, he either repeats the 4's or (if it's that bad) the school can move him into the 3's (if space allows I guess). Good luck!!
