Potty Training - Will Go at Daycare, Not at Home

My son did this as well, not to such a degree, but he had more accidents at home than at daycare. What I finally did was that we set a timer for 15 minutes (at first). Every time it went off, we actually went to the bathroom and he sat on the potty. We went through the whole process, whether he went or not. When we came back, fifteen more minutes. Once that worked well enough, we increased the time. That worked well for pee, but he would not poop until we put him in a pull-up/diaper to go to bed. The only way we were able to stop THAT was that we got him a toy he really wanted, and every time he pooped in the potty, he could play with the toy for one hour. (We had to adjust that to you can play with it that day/next day because he would try to separate his trips out to get the max amt of hours possible. Kids are so creative when they want something.) Anyway, if he pooped in his underwear, they went in the trash. A friend made her son clean his underwear, and that worked for them, but my son loves to play with water and soap, so I thought it might backfire for us!

You could find out exactly how they began to potty trained him at day care & start all over the same way at home, like he's never even been introduced to the idea.. Also instead of asking if you have to go, we found out we have to say c'mon lets go.. Whether they have to or not, whether that's what they want to do right now or not, were going to go.. LoL We do this about every 30 Min after they go, & if they haven't gone for a while we go every 10 or so Min. till they do.. My kids are SUPER extremely stubborn tho, & will swear they do not have to go & sometimes even fight me when I say were going to go try.. But if I don't make them, sometimes lead them & personally sit them on the potty, (If they refuse to go do it themselves) then 5 Min. later there standing in a puddle.. I don't say it meanly or like too bad if you don't want to, If they fight me I say as nicely as I can I know you prob don't have to go, & I know you don't want to go, but were just going to try super quick just in case so you don't have an accident! If they don't have to go after about 2 Min, then I thank them nicely for trying & if they do go, a jelly bean.

I like & use the Dr. Phil how to potty train your child in one day method. I looked it up on line for free, but you can buy the book or I think even a video.. I don't particularly care for him, never watch his shows or anything & I know they are not actually potty trained in one day, but it always works great for us & they get the concept after a few days & as long as we stick to it, & keep leading them & setting them on the potty every 20/30 Min, were accident free all day! Well I hope something clicks soon, just stick to your guns & don't give up!

Hi M R

Often the reasons kids potty at school and not home, because of the structure at school. Your son sees other kids going potty, teachers do not offer a choice to go potty and he's well rested.

At home, it sounds like you're providing too much help, (no judgement). I recommend parents buy their child a watch with an alarm and set the alarm for 30 minutes and leave it for the child to remember to potty. Then Praise Praise Praise.

It sounds like your son is honestly upset about the accidents, especially when he denies the accident. Punishing will only more cause potty stress and more accidents.

I hope this helps.

R. Magby

If it was me, I'd have a chat with him about how he is a "big boy" and responsible for his own body. I'd then tell him that it isn't acceptable to pee or poop in his pants anymore and that he needs to be very vigilant about getting all his pee and poop into the potty like a big boy.

If the daycare has a set schedule, I'd also set up a set schedule at home. And never ask if he has to go potty, use questions and rules: we always go before leaving the house, we always go first thing in the morning, etc....do you want to go before mommy or after mommy goes? (distraction works too...before we have that cookie, let's all go to the potty!" Starting tomorrow, tell him we are going to be accident free and then make it your mission to help him not have an accident.

If he is accident free at the day care because of a schedule, then it sounds to me like he truly hasn't worked out the timing. Getting him on a schedule at home should help him learn the timing. If instead he actually does know and tells them he needs to go, then he is playing it up at home and you need to just let it go. Tell him he is a big boy and responsible. Let him sit in his filth. Just say," let me know when you want help changing." Remove all emotion and truly let him be responsible for his own body. Sometimes we need to just remove ourselves and they then step up.