3.2 Year Old Daughter Not Potty Trained

My grandson was 3 1/2. Would not use the potty. Then one day I told him I wanted to sign him up for a gym class. He as excited. I knew he could not go because he still wore diapers. We went to look at it. I gave the girls the heads up. They said they were excited to have him join. Then they said oh you do not wear diapers right. You use the potty. He had to admit that he did not use the potty. We went home, took his diaper off and used the potty. After three days I signed him up. No accidents ever. He was being stubborn and lazy. So that is what worked for us.

If you think its stressing her out, back off for a while and try again in a few weeks. She will get there when she is ready. My son was similar... not interested when we pushed it then a few months later one day he refused a diaper at daycare and we never used one again. He was 3.4.

I think you may have missed the easy window. Both my girls potty trained easily at two and a half. I would have her wear underwear all the time when she is at home and just give her gentle reminders to go to the potty. The every 20 minutes sounds stressful to me too. They pooping is a more delicate subject as she can easily get impacted from holding and you will have a whole other bag of problems. Just try to relax and ditch the pull ups. She won't like to sit in her pee underwear and will figure it out no matter how head strong she is.

She is getting old.

You can't just set a timer and expect her to have to go!

You need to actually WATCH her with your eyes for when you can tell by her body language that she has to go...and then take her...and then give TONS of praise (high fives- clapping-telling everyone in the house) and whatever treat is her favorte!

*Every kid has their own 'pee-pee dance' and if you start looking for it you will see it clear as day!

I would not make it a battle, or you'll end up with a constipated kid. The timer never worked for me. I was always too early or too late. I started asking DD to try using the potty when she might realistically need to - first thing in the AM, before/after a nap, before a trip to the store, after lunch, etc. DD was also a late trainer. I took some time to keep her in underwear and easy off pants and used a lot of Nature's Miracle. After an accident, I'd have her sit on the potty anyway because sometimes she wasn't done. I would keep trying, but don't compare your DD to the kid who trained earlier. FYI, my DD is in pull ups at night still and I know she is NOT the only 4 yr old to be in them.

We make this bladder and bowel issue such a problem for our kids it is unbelievable. This is all because we want them to get ready so that they can be self sufficient at school or wherever. I was in your same boat and getting frustrated over a magic number milestone they are to reach. One thing I have learned, is that unless there is some medical problem, they are going to eventually learn to do these things when nature takes orits course. The only adults I see in diapers are the ones who have weak bladders. I also realize that you as an adult don't want your husband or other coming to you every 20 mins and commanding you to pee or poop. So be patient, don't stress it and don't let others stress you out either making your child feel like she is not on par. My son still has accidents at 3yr and it's just teaching him not to hold it in but go when he needs to and he will get it soon.

Start keeping her out of diapers, watch when she DOES go, make a note of time, and then let her go then. She is probably sensing your stress and holding back out of pressure. Don't scare her into wetting her pants, encourage her to go when she feels the urge. Good luck.

Kids go when they are ready. I wouldn't do underwear and pants but I would try pull ups since it keeps the mess to a minimum. Also, take her as soon as she awakes in the morning and that may help her get used to going.

Do you have any videos or books? We had The Potty Book and Once Upon a Potty, Everybody Poops and many others. We also had an Elmo potty toy. My boys read the books, watched the vidoes, played with the Elmo, practiced sitting on their potty chair, and worked on pulling their pants up and down for nearly a year before I started training. I started training right after the third birthday and they were each done within a week, day and night. Maybe step back a bit and take the pressure off, work on the pre-training skills, then try again later.

Give her a bit more time. My daughter was between 3 1/4- 3 1/2 before she was trained. Nothing I did could convince her to use the pot. However, when several kids at daycare got in on the reward action and wearing panties/underwear, then she was much more enticed. Add in a little peer pressure from the other daycare kids and voila. One day she told me that she wanted to wear panties to school, and I told her she had to use the potty at school then. She agreed, and within a matter of a few days, she was fully potty trained with almost no accidents after that point. Despite all that, she NEVER was willing to go on the pot just because I put her there or told her to do so; she had amazing holding power. She also was never willing to go on the pot just because I told her to try (and I'd stand there and turn the water on to run, put a few drops of water in her hand, etc). She's an incredibly strong willed child! As long as she was able to potty on her terms, wear panties and sometimes get a reward, she was happy to get in on the potty training action like a champ. If it were the work of going to the potty every 20 minutes, she'd probably be in pull-ups to this day!

Huggies has a free Potty Dance DVD that has great tips and tricks for this. Watch it with her and see if she is interested. If not, wait a few days and try again.

My son was in preschool, and they assisted with the potty training, and also gave me cues when he was about to go.

Also, timers don't work for everyone. Watch her and see what she does when she's about to go, and note times, then plan around that. She's also getting nervous, which tenses them up quicker than anything, then when you're not watching, it's relief, and relaxed muscles.

Luck to you Mama!

What worked for my friend when her daughter was 3 and not potty trained even though she knew what to do was take her swimming (I realize it's too cold for that but mabey put her in the bath) with a diaper on and the diaper got big and yucky and her lil girl was so disgusted with the yucky diaper that she wanted nothing else to do with diapers and only wanted to use the potty.

Personally I am all for waiting until they are ready, but unless your DD has some sort of special needs she should be ready at her age.
And well, she knows that you give up somewhat easily... so yeah, I am sorry to say you are kind of a pushover.
I would sit her down every day for two weeks and read fun potty books. really talk up the potty, how awesome it is, how big of a girl she will be and so on.
After a week go and let her pick a pack of new underwear. Any underwear (character) she likes. Give her the money, let her pay by herself for it, make it a big deal how big she is.
Then after two weeks of talking it up, the big day. In advance her some incontinence bedpads or puppy pads. In the morning put on her underwear and DO NOT BACK OFF!
Have lots of yummy drinks and high fiber foods and SPEACIAL POTTY TREATS ready. Do not force her to sit on the potty every twenty minutes, but rather remind her to go about once and hour and watch for signs that she needs to go.
If she pees her pants do not say ANYTHING other than "lets clean you up". And clean her up. Do not get upset, do tell her how you just asked her if she needed to go, just have her help you clean up. In her carseat and in bed put puppy pads under hear and don't forget to carry wipes and extra sets of clothes. Then go about your normal activities, inclduing leaving the house for short time (this is not the time for a 4 hour shopping trip, but do make an effort to not sit at home and wait for her to potty all day).
Yes, there will be lots of laundry for a few days, but MOST kids should get it down in 2 or three days. If it is still not working by day five, I would say it's ok to give up and consult your pediatrician. She may not be ready yet in that case.
Good luck.

My daughter was the same age and we had similar issues. The first day I started at every 10 minutes,2nd day 15, third day 20. I then got a potty watch that went off every 30 minutes. She loved the potty watch and it really helped us. She did have a lot of accidents the first few days, but I didn't give up and it took about 2 weeks for her to stop having daytime accidents. I still put her in a pull up at night until she was 3 1/2 and then we took those away too. She did have pooping problems so I would let her poop in a pull up. She is now almost 4 and completely potty trained.

I'm with InMy30'sAlready?. At your daughter's age, sitting on the potty every 20 minutes is counter-productive. It adds pressure unnecessarily, and she doesn't pee every 20 minutes at that age.

At 3, you need to be keeping a close eye on her and watching for signs. What does she normally do just before peeing/pooping? Most kids get quiet and tend to isolate themselves before pooping. My son (although he potty trained just after age 2, like at 28 months) would stand up, get quiet, and sortof crouch and then make this grimace on his face. It was actually funny. But there was no mistaking he was pooping. Same thing with pee, only more subtle... he would get still.

For a few days, you need to keep a diary of when your daughter is peeing/pooping. Like a food diary. What time did she eat, how long after that did she pee/poop, how many times a day, etc...

Then, when you have a semi-figured out "schedule" that your daughter uses, use THAT information to guide your potty training.

You should wait & she's NOT to old to not be potty trained. Our pediatrician says, most kids aren't potty trained at 3.

my little boy is 3 and a half, he had been pee trained since he was 2 and a half, but REFUSED to poop in the potty - he would hold it till nap or nighttime when we would put on a pull up for sleeping and then he would poop. He was still peeing at night in the pull up too, so I waited and tried everything for rewards, etc. like you. No progress. Once he was staying dry at night and only pooping in the pull up, I was tired of it and wanted him to be able to go to preschool. So I told him I KNEW he was a big boy and if he could hold his poop in for all day and only do it in the pull up he could hold it in and only do it in the potty. I told him he was too big for diapers/pull ups and we would not be buying him any more, and we counted down the days till they would be all used up ( I made sure it was only like 3 days left) and I told him once they were gone, they were gone, and he would be wearing big boy pants 24/7, and he would be responsible for his own poop and pee - he could decide to put it where it belonged in the toilet, or he could do it in his big boy pants, but since it was HIS poop and HIS pants, if he did it there, he would be washing them out himself. It took only 3 times of having to dump his own poop into the toilet form soiled pants, and then having to scrub those pants in a bucket of water till there was no more poop on the undies, and he never pooped in his pants again. He was fully trained at 3.25.

Good Luck, sometimes you just have to let them have the natural consequence....you poop/pee your pants, you clean your pants.

Dr. Phil's method worked well for me. It was a little different 10 years ago when my son was your child's age - and we did it over a 3 day weekend - without a doll. BUT - the main thing is to make it a positive experience.
do the "Yay!" - jump up an down, balloons, hugs, "wow you're getting to be such a big girl", planning then having a party with favorite people (grandparents, aunt, cousin, etc.) . When there's a mistake it's no big deal, no scolding. simply change clothes, new underpants, very matter of fact.

We did it over a three day weekend and my son never used a diaper again. he was 3 yrs 3 months at the time.

Good luck!

http://drphil.com/articles/article/264

This worked for me. Have her teach a teddy or a doll how to use the potty. Have a party for it, cupcakes and really make a huge deal out of it. It worked for us. My daughter wanted a special day so bad.