Potty Training Trouble with Son

I would just take the diapers away when he is at home. If he has nothing on he might think pooping wherever is disgusting and he might go for the potty. That worked for my kids anyway. All 3 of my boys were pooping on the potty before peeing on the potty.

Here's information on a detailed approach to deal with potty-training delays and resistance. I haven't used it, but from all I understand about how kids' minds work, it appears to be a positive, low-stress system. Some moms on this site have apparently had good results with it: http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm

There's another fact-based and thorough site on all sorts of potty-training approaches – this one may give you some bits of information that would help you determine your approach. It's also possible that your son is just a late bloomer in this area. Frequently, kids at some specific point between 2.5 and 4.5 just "get" why training will be in their best interests, and they essentially train themselves as a matter of will and interest in a matter of a week or less. That site: http://www.parentingscience.com/potty-training-tips.html

Good luck.

My son is also 3.5 and we just got him potty trained. We were on the last diaper and told him there were no more. We tried the naked bottom. We just knew his cues and watched for them. We put the potty nearby and didn't leave the house for almost a week. Also we bribed him if he went to the potty he could use the ipad, worked like a charm! He was fully potty trained within that week! Good luck!

Hi there,

Please let me apologize if this offend you or others.

My friend accidentally picked up the Princess pull-ups and not the Buzz lightyear ones. Son refused to wear them. Hmm... I really do think it was an accident (the older sibs are girls, could have been rote), but it was very effective!! I wouldn't recommend threatening him with an ultimatum: potty or princess. But if mommy did make a mistake at the store...

My son finally was #2 trained at 3.75yo, by the way, I understand!!

I know the common approach today is to let the child decide, but really I feel that children are quite a bit more capable than we give them credit for. We don't ask them when they're ready to do a lot of things, we make the decisions for them. My guy was 22 months when we began training, 26 months when he was trained, with the typical time it takes to train a child being 3 - 6 months so he was right where he should have been.

I used both the sites that Peg M. listed, the latter one to decide if he was ready, which he was, and the first one to help deal with his poop holding, and with the "power incentive" he was going on his own in a little over a day : )

Yes, it's time!

I totally agree that 3 1/2 is time to get rid of the diapers. What about a small token of something he likes that is just for 'big boys' who can use the potty? With one of mine, we used sticker rewards. I put up a light cardboard poster in the bathroom, and she got to put her My Little Pony stickers on the poster wherever she wanted. By the time the pack of stickers were gone, she was trained. Your child might like something other than stickers, but something that he likes for himself. might work. .

I think some kids (especially boys) are just not ready before they're ready. Our son wanted nothing to do with a little kids potty or regular toilet - there was no getting him to go near one without clear distress. Fortunately for us he loves to be naked, so was naked at home much of the time, and went in our private backyard to do his business. Unconventional perhaps, but it worked for us. He never had an accident in the house during the day, so he obviously had awareness and control. By letting him have autonomy over his body, he got over his concern about the toilet on his own. One out of town trip we took, he went pee in the toilet when I did, and used one from that day on (he was just under 4 by the time this happened). The thing I've noticed is that the boys who were potty-trained (meaning it was "taught" to them, rather than letting them discover this on their own), seem to have more accidents and are still wearing pull-ups at night past the age of 5. Our boy has been sleeping diaper-free since the age of 3 - has only had a few nighttime accidents. I think it's very important to let children have ownership of their bodies. I also think rewards are silly (for everything, but that's a whole 'nother topic!). The rewards to using the toilet are built-in to the act itself. Stickers and cheap toys can not be a bigger reward than feeling in control of oneself and not having to wear a diaper! And I think it's building a twisted value system when sold that way.

In the end, I think by parents making a big deal about this, it becomes a bigger, seemingly impossible task (to the child). As our son got older, I also found myself getting frustrated and felt I must *DO* something about it. It wasn't until I learned to let the process unfold on its own, that he found his way. I was blocking his learning by being so stressed about it. It taught me a great lesson, and parallels how learning works best in all areas of life.

I am here with you. My son will be 3 1/2 in a week and doses not care a bit about dirty diapers. My daughter was using the potty at 2 1/2! We tried the rewards at 2 1/2, we tried no diapers at 3.
My mil is our daycare but we are trying to find preschool that will take him with diapers. :(
Good luck! Let me know if you find something that works. I have quit for now.

Working in childcare, I have seen several children who had this same problem. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but there is no 'magic' to getting him to start going in the toilet. The pediatrician is correct and you just have to keep on being as patient as possible.
Is your boy in any kind of childcare situation? I ask because most centers that I am familiar with would have him staying in a room with two year olds until he's trained. One would think that this would encourage a child to be trained so he could advance to a class more appropriate to his age, but I've seen a child who was approaching his fifth birthday before he got the idea.
Don't give up, and if you do come up with something that will entice him to start using the toilet, that would be great. In the meantime, patience Mom!
One thing that worked for me in training two daycare children in my home was to make them a chart. It said "______'s I did it! Chart" I put little icons next to ten steps they needed to do when using the toilet. Telling us they needed to go rather than waiting for us to tell them was one. Things like wiping, hand washing, putting the seat up if they were standing, closing the toilet lid, etc. as well as actually using the toilet while they were in there were included. We put one on for going poop and explained that would only apply if they needed to go poop. I laminated the charts and hung them on a wall just outside the bathroom door. We kept a dry erase marker nearby and when they had finished in the bathroom we helped them mark the appropriate items on the chart. They loved being able to use that marker, because it's an item that they don't get to use normally.