Potty Training Regression--3 Year Old boy--I Am at My Wits End!!!!!

Whew! I've been there and done that so I know how frustrating it can be. I would definitely go with the diaper though - don't treat it as a punishment, just calmly say, I think you are so excited right now, you aren't remembering to go potty. So when you think you are ready to wear big boy underwear again, you tell mommy and we'll let you try. Then walk away - don't argue with him. If he hates the diaper, it won't take him long to be ready to get rid of it. All the best!

The fact that he was mad about the diaper is a good sign. You can use that as natural consequences. If he's going to go in his pants, then he can't wear big boy underwear. As soon as he starts going potty regularly, he can go back into big boy underwear. He's probably old enough to understand that much.

I would also consider, if it doesn't improve soon, to talk to the doc. There could be some underlying issue that is causing it, even if he doesn't seem sick.

I have 2 boys and just have to say that boys are harder to get finished with the potty training, and maybe at 3 he just doesn't have the capacity to be trained yet. If he is clean and dry, but you find yourself reminding him to go to the potty every few hours..it is really you who are trained and not him.

Some children have more challenges with this that others. Perhaps his diet has changed with the Holidays, maybe he even has some sort of intolerance to something that normally doesn't show itself ( but he's had alot of something lately) and how you are seeing issues with constipation...and now the several accidents a day problem.

I would suggest just getting back to a normal diet as soon as possible, limiting sweets, and observing for a few days. See if you can resist the urge to get him to the potty, and observe if he is having more problems than normal ( could be UTI), is pooping regularly ( if not, the accident problem could be constipation or encopresis) and just be supportive.

Try your best to not be disgusted, frustrated, etc with accidents because it could quite possibly be that he is not mature enough at 3 to be potty trained. With the introduction of a new baby coming, the last thign you want to do is create more of a power struggle and an emotional problem with this. Rest assured, most of this handles itself...just stay calm and not confrontational.

you make him clean it up.

if it happens again, you make him wear a diaper until tomorrow.

Hi J.,
My husband and I went through that this summer with our 3 year old son. For some reason he decided to use his pants instead of the toilet well after he was potty trained. My husband decided to try the hose trick. He'd take him outside and turn the hose on his bare bottom full blast. Only a couple of times of that and our son decided it wasn't worth the embarrasment not to mention the cold sting on his backside. I guarantee it will work for you (especially this time of year). Blessings, L.

OH, I feel your pain. My middle son went through that and my youngest was crawling and into everything...I was at my wit's end as well. My son's pediatrician told me to put him back in pull-ups (I think mostly to save my sanity - my oldest has ADHD and several other issues...so I needed a bit of sanity!). Anyway, he had no problems going #1 on the potty, but was pooping in his pants. I could sit him on the potty for an hour and he would "try" to poop but couldn't. Then get off and go in the corner and poop! I tried calmly having him clean himself up - which upset him but not enough to stop him from doing it again. I tried having a toy waiting for him for when he pooped on the potty (along with various other positive reinforcement techniques) Anyway, I think maybe his problem was not knowing which muscles to use to get it out while sitting on the potty. I ended up using a suppository and put in on the potty and he pooped. He maybe had one "accident" in his pants after that. I have read that having them try to blow up a balloon while sitting on the potty helps because you engage the same muscles? If he isn't doing anything on the potty right now, maybe it is time to "start over" with the training?
I'm so sorry you're going through this - while pregnant too!
Good luck!

Hi J. - yup - living that right now. So frustrating isnt it? I'll offer you the same advice I've been telling myself - stay calm, this will pass. It makes it so much harder that you are pregnant and probably really tired too. My pediatrician suggested my son could be focusing on a developmental area or it could be because he's been cooped up inside with all the cold weather we've been having and he is a little understimulated and doesnt remember what the cues feel like.

I personally dont recommend putting him back in a diaper or pullup (unless he's sick with diarrhea.) My son would gladly play all day in a diaper and never have to worry about going to the potty. What I've been doing is going back to the beginning. I take him potty at least 1x hour and before going outside or after coming back in, etc. He's still not back to where he goes on his own but I know that will come back in time so I'm trying to be patient. I remind myself that if I get upset or angry at him, all it will do is delay the result I want.

We've also been reading his favorite potty training books again- he's been having a lot of fun with those - moreso than even at the beginning.

Hang in there - try not to get frustrated with him, stay calm and matter of fact. "Poop and pee go in the potty, not your underwear" . . . yeah, right!

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I can imagine that all of this will be resolved for you in no time.