Hi all. My daughter will be 2 in a few months. Over the past few months she has shown different behaviors that indicate possible potty training. (Grandma says she is ready.) I know starting to early can make things worse so I have been procrastinating on it. But, her recent behavior is telling me when she has to pee pee. She already tells me when she has to poop and likes to be left alone during it. So I have bought a potty chair and plan to start soon. If I wait another week or two -- is that waiting TOO LONG? Does harm come in if we procrastinate on getting started?
Second question is: when we are in the middle of potty training & we are somewhere else other than home (say church or music class) and she asked to use the potty - do I take her to a big toliet? I know my daughter and once she decides she wants to use a potty that is what she'll want to do.
Thanks so much!
Thanks to everyone for the great advice! I went ahead and tried (I wasnt sure if I was ready) and just put out the chair in the bathroom. She found it herself and was delighted. She sat on it, inspected it, and then asked me if it was her potty. She repeated saying pee pee & pointing to potty. She then wanted to take her pants off (completely off) and sit on potty. For about an hour or so she ran around without pants and continuously went to the potty & sat. Then she did sit and pee! I jumped up & down and said good job! That is when our trouble and frustration has set in. Since it is her potty and her pee...she feels she can do whatever she wants. She took the chair apart, she brought it out to the living room, she tried to fill it with water, etc. We have had two battles and tantrums now today. One is I wouldnt let her put the insert part on her head. And two I wont let her take the potty chair out of the bathroom. I would say we have been doing this for 6 hrs. She has successfully pee'd in the potty 10 times or so, and went once in her pullup. I would stop use & try again in a month or two, but she knows its there and wants to do it. So wish me luck! And by all means if anyone has more suggestions send me a message. Thanks so much!!
www.3daypottytraining.com ebook was the best 24 dollars I have spent. My 22 month was literally trained in three days.
She's a little young, but occasionally they train at that age, and sometimes not until age five. (I'm not kidding.) Sometimes they do pee but not poop. Sometimes they do daytime but not nighttime for another year or so.
My advice is to give her a potty seat and tell her she can use it if she wants, but discuss it as little as possible. If there's a relative whom she sees often, like Grandma, also ask her not to mention the topic at all to the child.
The power struggles come in when the child senses that you have a goal, and then the child starts fighting back.
This will happen eventually, and it will inevitably be on the child's schedule, because she's in complete control on this. Have fun with it!
Hi R.,
Go ahead and start the training. Why do you want to wait? Buy her some of the thick training panties, they're by the cloth diapers, and go for it! You'll need about 12 pairs of panties and keep an eye on them, once you get down to your last 3 or 4 get the rest into the wash, you'll be doing alot of laundry! I always used stickers as a reward for successfully using the potty and I made them a "chart" for them to put the stickers on. It really was just a piece of paper I taped to the wall. If they went #2 they got 2 stickers. When my kids would have the concept down then they got stickers for using the potty without having accidents before realizing they need to go.
When you're out in public by all means take her to use the restroom! You'll have to hold her and help her balance on the seat. You might want to have her in a pullup or put a plastic diaper cover on over her panties just in case as well as keep a change of clothes in the the diaper bag. Becareful of automatic flushing toilets, they always scared my kids so we would cover the "eye" with a coat or a hat if possible. Take wipes with you too just incase the seat isn't clean and make sure you teach her how to wash her hands properly which mostly you'll just be doing it for her.
Good luck with this and have fun!! Go ahead and start!!
C.
Little girls usually pick right up on it. I don't think that a week on two will hurt. I would suggest though that you get a bag of pull-ups to put on her when you go out and that should help with that issue. 2 years old is a really good time for a little girl.
Hi Fellow Mom -
We have a 4 year old - she showed "interest" as early as 2 but didn't really succeed til she was 3 - and when she was READY she did it herself - ironically on an out of town weekend (thank goodness I packed some regular underwear!). We tried all the tricks but when it came down to it - she had to make the decision and she has not turned back since that day.
I got the pressures from "friends and family" that we missed the window - whatever that means. The point is - your daughter will get potty trained and the more stress and pressure she (and you have) it will make it more difficult.
Good luck!
Hi, I would say if there is interest in the potty, then go for it. Let her sit on her chair and just have it around. Some kids train really early and easily. So if she gets it great, but if she changes her mind and regresses at this point there is no worries. Don't push the issue but support her. It kind of sounds like you are not ready for the event. And it is a lot of time and effort on your part, so you need to be ready too. So if you procrastinate she may loose interest but then she will pick up interest in it latter. We had that happen to us. Our daughter showed interest and we started with potty training, but left on a long trip, so we put pull ups on her and we were so busy ( we had gone to Disney) she forgot all about the potty unless it was to praise me and my efforts . ( Imagine the horror of having someone announce you went poopy good girl, in an airport restroom) During and after the trip she wanted nothing to do with it a few months latter she started wanting to train again. As for the public restrooms, by all means take her. You will have to hold her to help her balance. Also cover the eye of the automatic flush toilets, they could scare her. Good luck.
I thing every kid is different, and no theory applies to every child. I just waited until my daughter actually cared to start, not when I thought she was ready. It wasn't until she was almost 3, and she discovered a pair of underwear that she liked. Before that she just wanted to be like her baby brother. They get to the point where they are so smart that they'll do it when they want to. It isn't something you can really fight without a lot of stress. But I guarantee they won't be in diapers forever. Peer pressure will take care of that. She still isn't fully potty trained, but she is in underwear most of the time, even during naptime. I know one day, it will all just click. When she has off days, we just put her in diapers. I plan to use this approach with all of my kids, but like I said, not all kids are the same. Anyways, hope this helps.
If she acts like she's ready go for it! You are a stay at home mom so you will have the time. The first couple of weeks or so are good to be close to home but then get back to normal things. She will like picking out big girl pretty panties. Let her pick the ones she likes and she won't want to get them dirty. sounds like she will be an easy one.
GOOD LUCK!!!
R., I think if the potty chair is out for her, and she starts using it, you're both on the way. You're right not to rush, listen to your daughter, do it on her schedule not yours or anyone else's.
Abosolutely, if you're out & about and she says she has to go, take her to a toilet. This is one way she'll understand her needs are important, and that she's communicating effectively.
My daughter would sometimes say she had to go when she didn't really, maybe she just wanted to see the bathroom wherever we were, that took patience for me. Eventually she realized that all bathrooms are basically the same.
Good job mommin'!
A.
Try reading the book "toilet training in less than a day". I've used it on 2 out of 3 kids and it works! Then you won't have to worry about going places in the middle of potty training. You just pick a day that you can devote to it and than it's done. Totally worth it! Good luck. I wouldn't worry about waiting. If for some reason she does loose interest, I'm sure she'll be interested again soon.
I don't think you can ever wait too long - unless you're waiting until they're already in school :). I recently read an article that says that 3 years and 1 month is the ideal time to potty train for development and maturity. That being said, many kids are ready earlier than that & you will know best when your child is ready. So no, a couple of weeks is not going to work against you at all. Also, I know a lot of people love the little potties, but we just trained all of our kids on the big potty. We just got a potty seat that sits on the big potty & a stool. The bonus is no clean-up, no transition issues later on, and when you are out...church, music class, etc. there is no issue because they are used to the big potty already. Just a thought.
I am currently training my 16-month-old boy and IT IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE...let me also say, I am 19 weeks pregant too!!!!! I'm not claiming to be an expert, but this is currently working for my son! This will be long...sorry! My mother is being my support in this and she has trained all her kids (4) and most of her daycare kids before the age of 2 with great response using this same method. This method may seem extreme, but it is well worth the effort and time you will put into it. We have been doing it for one week and my son was completely dry all day yesterday! Do this with the understanding that you are training yourself before the kiddo, but that will come soon too! You will have a great advantage with this method because you are home with her. Make sure you have a week where you can just stay home and dedicate it to potty training (though my son got sick in the middle of the week and we ended up having to go out some, but it worked out alright). I will agree that not all kids are alike and this method may not work for your kiddo, but if you are ready for hard work and not giving up, you might as well try it!
First, go out and buy the thicker training pants (comes in flowers and sports and underware designs, so they are not just plain)- get at least 12 or so pairs, some regular underware that your daughter will like and some of the (6 or so) plastic outsde training pants to use at naps, nighttime and outtings (I haven't used any pull-ups because they feel too much like diapers, but once he is day trained, I might try the cool alerts to help teach him at night, but haven't gotten that far yet). Also, get a potty seat for the potty (I got a Munchkin thick, soft seat with handles...my son can sit on the potty without me having to hold him), a special sippy or straw cup for her to use in the bathroom, some Resolve for your carpet and the matress pad for under her sheets that absorbs the liquid well.
To start, you put up ALL DIAPERS and she should ONLY wear the underware...don't put her back in diapers. At times when I can't have leaks like the car and at night/naps, I put my son in both a pair of regular underware with a pair of the plasic underware over it. I put a bunch of books, coloring books, toys and such in the bathroom within arms reach (I even put my laptop in the bathroom with us and would put on a litle video of Dora or Handy Manny to break things up because you will be sitting LOTS in the bathroom!!!- I know...no TV for under 2, but after 2 days in the bathroom, you'll thank me!!! :-P ) I put a chair for me, kitchen timer, a notebook and a pen in too! You will want to keep a diary of when she goes...I put Date/Time/Minutes Used/Outcome/Accident? on the top of the page. Chlorox wipes are a plus to clean up a mess quickly and to clean to toilet off before you use it!
I set my son on the potty and set the timer for 30 minutes to start-seems like a long time, but you have to give them a chance to go- and give him a full glass of water/juice/whatever (you may have to become creative to figure out a way to tell when she went because it is sometimes hard to hear or see when she goes...I put some folded up toilet paper in the front of my toilet out of the water and that is exactly where he goes...for a girl, you might have to find a disposable pie pan to put in the toilet or something until she learns to tell you she went (my son started that a few days ago, but I still use the toilet paper to tell for sure as he figured out if he told me he went, I would let him off whether he went or not...cleaver kid!). She will cry at you the first few times to get off, but blame it on the timer ("no, you need to sit because the timer hasn't gone off...either the timer has to go off or you have to go pee to get off") and don't give up or she will learn that all she has to do is throw a fit to get off the toilet. I keep giving him coloring books and different activities to keep their attention. When the timer goes off (or if I thought I heard him go), I check to see if he went...if he didn't, I'd tell him thank you for trying and remind him not to go pee-pee in his big boy underware (if time was still on the timer, I'd tell him "nope, no pee-pees yet, keep trying!)...if he did, we celebrate (I didn't do any rewards because my son responds to praise so well)!!! After the 30 minutes of trying, I set the timer for 20-30 minutes on the stove and we go to playing. If I see wet pants (which the thicker training pants will save your floor more often than not), I simply sound dissapointed and say "uh oh, we need to go pee-pee in the potty and not in our big boy underware" and I would make him go sit for at least 5 minutes on the potty before resetting the timer. So that's how the first 2 days go or so, 30 on, 20 off, 30 on, 20 off, 30 on, 20 off. You will figure out the timing better the 2nd day or so as you start to see a pattern (hence the diary...write EVERYTHING down!). Just make sure to praise lots when she goes or sits trying well and don't reprimand the accidents, just gently correct. Don't be surprised if the 1st day, she doesn't go in the potty at all and it is always in her underware...it will be better the next day...just try to write down exactly when she had the accident to see the pattern and give lots of liquids all day to make sure she is having to go lots! Be prepared to do laundry at least every night, if not twice a day to replenish pants and underware and the such (I gave up on matching outfits during this time...it was whatever was clean at the moment.)
On day 3 or so, you can modify the pattern (we found that 30 minutes off and 40 minutes on- but he usually goes in 30 or so- worked best...yes, people look at me like I've killed someone when they hear 40 minutes, but my son is almost potty trained, so...) and we were down to just 4 accidents a day...this doesn't account for naps and nighttime because those will come later. I also sound like a broken record, but about every 3-5 minutes, I remind him not to go pee-pee in his big boy underware. I also would cut off fluids about 7 pm for him to be ready for bed and it makes the nights a little better on how wet he is in the morning.
On day 5 or so, she may start telling you that she peed (my son would say "I pee"). I also found that if I gave him an activity or turned on a video, he would sit by himself for 5-10 minutes at a time and I would just check on him and ask him if he went when I walked in. If not, I would tell him I will check on him in a few minutes and go back to doing what I was doing- close by- as I figured the more boring I made it by not being in there talking to him all the time, the faster he would go...it worked so far!!!
Day 8 or so, where we are at, I have gone back to normal drinks...did that day 6 or so after he was consistently going in the potty...and I still have to take him every 30 minutes, but he usually goes within the first 10-20 of sitting there (I still set the alarm for 40, but he rarely uses that amount)- my mom says the time will increase eventually as his bladder gets stronger, so just watch your diary for a change in time. We have also had 2 days of no accidents at all!!! I am so proud of him. These kids are much smarter than most give them credit for...even under 2! Even though he has not actually told me he had to go, I have noticed him start "dancing" when he has to go potty. He has learned his anatomy and will point and play with it, so don't be surprised by that. Is is something new to explore. I have also gotten to cut down on the reminders to not go in his big boy pants. I feel like I have made good progress in a short amount of time.
As far as pooping, my son has been great since the start. I think that is one advantage to starting under age 2 is that they aren't scared to go poop in the toilet like some of the older kids. I was planning on just watching for that time when I saw him bear down and running him to th potty (thinking he would go poop and pee in the potty and we could celebrate and get a free-bee in), but he surprised me by just going himself one of the times on the potty! He has only gone in his pants once and he had diarrhea that time when he was sick, so hope that goes as easy for you as it did for me! We did have him imitate us bearing down and that did help too. It makes us laugh, the look on his face when he pretends to go poop on the toilet! So serious! :-)
Some problems you may run into: Sickness...the books will tell you if a kid is sick, to put a diaper on them and postpone training until they are well, but do you really want to start in square one again? My son was sick on day 3 so they put him on antibiotics that then gave him diarrhea. I called my mom to see what she suggested and she made a good point that even when we are sick, we still have to go potty, so why not continue to teach during that time? It was frustrating and dirty, but we made it through with minimal problems! My son has also fallen off the potty once and I held him for a minute, made sure he was okay and set him back up there and distracted him with an activity and he was fine. As far as going out, I put him in the training underware, as well as the plasic underware and we just go out. I am surprised at how he can stay dry for several hours while out and at home he goes every 30 minutes, but that's okay. I do try to take him to a big toilet about every hour or so, though he has only gone once. I just hold him on it and he uses his hands to steady- just wash them good after-, but I have heard suggestions of you sitting behind them and spreading your legs and setting them on between them, so I might try that in the future too. You also might want to put post-it notes in your purse if your town has lots of those automatic flush toilets because that loud noise can scare them if it goes off while they are on. I did warn my son before I flushed the toilet anyway so he could see what I did and how loud it was.
The best thing I would suggest would be to find someone who you can call or e-mail to get support from. My mom is that person for me and I call her each time I feel frustrated and like I need to give up and she always reminds me that I'm doing a good job, think of all the money you will be saving/environment you will be saving, my son will be potty trained before this new baby arrives in Aug, I will have 5 months of no diapers....things like that. She even sent me a bouquet of cookies to say "Keep up the good work"! Very sweet. Make sure that person is in the same boat with you in the potty training ideas or has done it so they can offer helpful suggestions- you don't need someone telling you to stop if all you are looking for is some support to continue!!! If you need anything...support or ideas...I would be happy to help- though I am in the middle of this too! Just let me know! It is frustrating at first, but let me tell you...it is well worth it in the end! Keep up the good work and keep with it! You will be happy you did. I'm just waiting for that next step when my son comes to me and tells me he has to go, but I know that is coming soon enough! Good luck!
S., 26, mom of 16-month-old and 19 weeks pregnant with #2!
I think a lot of grandmas think they should be trained at the year mark, hee hee.
It is about her, solely and completely. Her showing an interest go with it, humor it but don't expect anything or go full force until she can hold it, wakes up dry, is able to understand the urge of poop and peeing before it happens, can pull her pants up and down. Those are sure signs she is physically ready.
Mentally she is interested and sounds like she is really close to being ready. YES TAKE her to the pottys when you are out, doing this will help her TONS when she is potty trained as early exposure will keep her from being afraid to go out in public or change in toilets. Also I recommend a seat cover for the big potty not a potty chair. That way she has already gotten over the hump of using the big toilet. My son went straight to the big toilet as he was going to outgrow the potty chair fast and I didn't want him to have to deal with another change.
My daughter at 26 mos wanted to start, I let her go with the flow, she for the most part was potty trained at 28 mos, herself. Then she had to have her tonsils out, she got a new little brother and regressed tons, so back to square one and it is harder because they know the tricks and know they are in control, so I was matter of fact the second go around and let her take the lead.
Don't rush it. If she asks to go by all means take her. She has so many milestones yet ahead, she is only 2.
Just follow her lead but don't throw her into underwear now or you will create stress for yourself, find yourself cleaning up messes, changing clothes and washing lot's of sheets. Just let it happen, keep her in pullups until all the signs are in place. Some kids do it, early and it is done forever. Just don't rush her. Make a big deal out of it when she does go, but also I firmly believe throwing her into underwear prematurely sets the situation up to be stressful and it shouldn't be stressful at all.
If she is showing interest just go for it. Skip the training pottie and go right to the real thing. My kids loved the character seats you put on the toilet with a step stool in front to help them out. Makes them feel grown up and independent. In public, take her. Teach her to cover the seat (you'll probably have to hold her to the side cuz toilet is so big) not to touch anything, flush with your foot and of course wash your hands. Makes life much easier when your out and about when she can use and enjoys the big potty. I didn't really use pull ups either unless sleeping. They get to comfortable in them and just acts like another diaper.
There is no harm in waiting until both child AND mom are really ready. Besides, you have lots of time to potty train. Barely two is actually pretty young to try. Children can start showing signs of understanding about going pee or poo long before they are actually able to control that function. Most children I know (I have five children myself and live in a neighborhood full of children) potty train closer to three years old. Before that, they have lots of accidents and frustration.
If you wait a few months until she can speak clearly, can take her clothes on and off mostly by herself, and expresses a desire to use the potty, you should have success without a lot of frustration on either part!
There is no harm in waiting a bit longer. Do you know of any kindergarteners still in diapers? The average age for girls to be trained (and not the parent) is 35 months.
She may be ready. Go ahead and put the potty chair out for her, but follow her lead. Let her come in with you when you go to the bathroom and she may just figure it out on her own. Don't push, just go at her pace.
Oh, and ignore the grandmas' suggestions of when kids should be potty trained. You're the mom and you know your child
Both my kids went through a phase at 18 mo's or so where they were fascinated by everything toilet related. They wanted to sit on it, use it occasionally, watch it flush, etc. But then dropped the interest as suddenly as it began. I went with it. If they're interested, I'm interested. If they're not, I'm not. And for the record my daughter went from diapers one day to underwear the next at 37 mo's on the nose and never had an accident. I never pushed, ever. DS just turned three and is 90% there, he's more of a challenge. In other words, go with it, but don't get your hopes up :-)
As for using a 'potty', I didn't. I always put them on the big one...I don't like cleaning that stuff and the big toilets are the only option when you're out, may as well get them used to it.
And no, you can't wait to long, they won't let you.
We love "Toilet Training in a Day". We've done it with both our sons around age 2. Girls are even more successful with it. Once we're done, going on a regular toilet hasn't been a problem, although I do carry a foldable toilet seat with me for a few months. GL!
