Three Year Old Scared of Toilet

I am right there with you, we bought the little toilet for my son just after he turned two. He was fascinated with the toilet, watched us go, wanted to flush for us etc. so we thought we'd give it a go....well, he loved to sit on it after a bath when he was already naked, but didnt want to get undressed just to sit on it, he even peed a few times but then lost all interest. putting him in underwear did nothing, and letting him go naked was worse. He would scream and cry that he needed a diaper to pee and throw a fit if I tried to put him on the toilet (yes the little one). I now just talk about big boys using the potty, watch "Elmos potty time" with him, and ask if he wants to use the toilet every now and then (He always says NO!). I could probubly push it, especially with his 3rd birthday around the corner, but if he's not ready.....
The important thing to remember is that no matter how long he decides to wait he will eventually be potty trained.

I had similar issues with my daughter. At age 3, is she able to communicate enough that you can ask her why she doesn't like the toilet? I know my daughter finally told me that she was worried that part of her was coming out, and we were flushing it away. Using a Potty chair for a while let her be reassured by seeing exactly what had come out of her before flushing it away (I guess she had trouble with that if it was in water in the toilet.) She still did exactly as you described at a later date (staying dry for days, then completely refusing toileting no matter what). I found NO effectiveness with pullups with her (though they work for some kids); to this day, if I were to put her in a pullup she would pee and poop in it, even though she's been trained for almost a year! Basically, my reaction was reverse psycology. I put her back in diapers, and told her she wasn't allowed to use the potty until she was 3 (you may want to choose a landmark date a little farther away). This gave me a break from the frustration and made using the potty a priveldge, not something I was trying to force. Meanwhile, I would mention every once in a while the things potty-trained kids can do (preschool, sleepovers, etc.) and how pretty a pair of underwear at the store or at home was, and made sure she noticed every time I used the toilet. I said all this in an offhand way, not asking her anything or expecting any response, more just planting seeds. Once she turned 3, I asked her if she was ready to start wearing big girl underwear. I told her that the rule was, when she decided to wear underwear she had to use the potty EVERY time, because (name the character on the underwear) did NOT want to be peed on, and would go away and not let her wear them if she peed on them. I made it totally her decision when she was ready to start wearing them again, and made her completely responsible for the results. This gave her the control she needed, and she decided to wear the underwear a couple of weeks after she turned 3, and was completely potty trained within a month. I hope this helps. Good luck!

Some toddlers are afraid of the toilet when they see it being flushed. The think that they can go down the toilet too.

Have you tried a potty seat separate from the toilet; maybe in a different room even. Another idea is to use a toddler's seat on top of the big seat.

She'll eventually go back to using the big toilet.

When we potty trainned our now 4 yr old, I resorted to not tring to dismiss her fear (because it's real to her). Then I bought her a small potty of her own for the batheroom. It kinda gives her control over "her" potty.

She is still using it at home -- but is perfectly fine using toilets everywhere else. I have just given her the responsiblily of cleaning it after use with supervision. We're hoping to be rid of the little potty by the end of the year.

I know this is sooooo frustrating! In my experience the only things our little ones can truly control is what goes in (eating) and what goes out (toilet)....so often pottying becomes a power struggle.

I feel like training pants or underwear with a plastic cover are great because diapers take away a lot of the uncomfortable sensation when they are dirty, which is essential for them to feel so they know they'll want to go on the toilet the next time!

It sounds like you have a bright little girl and she will the idea very soon...don't worry. Just be consistent and when she successfully goes on the potty, give her tons of praise!!!