Potty Training Question - Hoffman Estates, IL

Age 3 is the AVERAGE age that most kids are potty trained. In my opinion (I have 34 month old twins) the more you push it, the more they will resist. When she is ready she will let you know. Good Luck!!

Try to make it part of her regular routine without pushing her too much. She may be testing you. Above all, she is old enough to be potty trained but may not be completely ready. No need to put it off unless you are not able to keep things COMPLETELY POSITIVE. I never had much luck with reminders. Just bring them to the potty on a regular basis and try to get them comfortable with it. Make it fun if she's not interested. Maybe try a peeing potty doll or something. Good luck!

You are doing everything right, but your daughter just isn't ready yet. The average girl trains at 3 years old, and boys at 3.5 years old. Please don't push your daughter, or you may make it worse. Just keep her potty chairs out and let her come to the bathroom with you if she wants to. She will eventually show more interest when she is ready. My son didn't show any interest at all when he was 3, so I would just ask him if he wanted to try to go potty. He always said no. Then, one day, he said yes. So, we tried and he didn't go. But, I gave him a lot of praise for trying on his own. Then, he kept wanting to go to the potty, and he trained very quickly (well, pee pee that is, poop was a little longer). So, every child will eventually go on the potty. Just try not to force it. I know kids who are young and their parents say they are potty trained, but I think it is more the parents who are trained. It shouldn't be that way, the child should be initiating when they need to go, etc.

2 things - bring the potties where she plays and let her play with them until you think its time for her to use them.

Second - we just start this week with my daughter who is 33 months (3 in February). She refused to do it before now she wants to, so we figured it was time. I just had another baby 2 months ago, so we didnt want to push her.

But my mom friends with older kids are all telling me that the closer they are to 3 the easier it is.

We started when my son turned 2. We had a ring to put on the toilet and a potty chair, but he wasn't interested in either one. He has always just sat on the big potty with his legs spread wide out.
We kind of bribed our son to go, but it worked. We had a treat basket with lots of candy and little toys. We would ask him a few times during the day if he had to go, but we didn't really press it. When he peed on the potty he got a treat and a sticker for his potty chart that ws hanging on the fridge and if he pooped, he got 2 of both. Once he realized that this was going to happen everytime, he started going potty a lot.
Once he filled his potty chart with stickers (about 40 or 50) we took it to wal-mart and let him pick out a toy and "pay" with the potty chart. After that we still did the candy and then one day I put him in his underwear and he told me when he had to go all day, and he's been potty trained ever since. From when we started the treat basket he was potty trained in a month or two. He still wears a pull-up at night, but it's MUCH better than changing him all the time!!

She'll let you know when she's ready. My daughter didn't get fully trained until 3.5 years old and I didn't let people pressure me into training her early. But what did work was a few M&M's after going. That and spending time with a friends who's daughter was already trained. Just take your time!

Don't feel bad she isn't trained yet. My son is 3 1/2 and is just now starting to be mildly interested in it and I think that has more to do with the fact that he is going to be a big brother next year more than anything else. I often get embarrassed especially when we are traveling and I have to change his diaper in a public restroom and he doesn't fit on the changing table. But his maturity level and body awareness just weren't there....and believe me.....WE TRIED. I did an intensive potty weekend (which turned into 5 days), threw away the diapers, followed him around ALL day, taking him to the potty many many times and constantly asking him if his pants were dry, reminding him that if he needed to go potty to run into the bathroom and tell Mommy and Daddy, and you know what we got out of that? Lots of pee on the floor and lots of stress, and after the 5 days we weren't really any closer than before and in fact, he was uber resistant to anything having to do with the potty for quite a while after that. We are thinking about working on it again but I think we are going to do a much lower pressure, lower stress situation, and lots of bribery, involving candy, a sticker chart and a "big" treat after some noticeable progress. Honestly, I think they have to have the maturity and WANT to do it. This is one of the few things they can control. They aren't going to do it till they are good and ready too. Now my son is borderline Aspergers and one of the characteristics of that is lack of body awareness and clumsiness and I think that has a lot to do with it. He has been smart enough to understand the process for a long time and he knows what to do, he honestly just doesn't feel it, and feels no motivation to try. Now that we have another baby coming and we have been telling him that the new baby will need the diapers because he will be too little to use the potty and that since he is the big brother he will have to know how to use the potty so he can teach the baby when he is ready....these things seem to motivate him much more than any "well, John is uses the potty and wears underwear, don't you want to be a big boy like John?". He could care less about that.

I just wanted to reassure you that you aren't the only one and it's ok. Every child is ready in their own time.

First of all you are not doing anything wrong. My daughter is 32 months and is scared of the toilet. I have tried everything. But she will start when she is ready. I know alot of chicldren my daughters age who arent PT yet either. So, good luck and keep trying, she will do it when she is ready.

Everyone seems to be on the same track here! I agree.....a lot of kids aren't ready until closer to 3. And each child is different! My 1st (b) trained at 30 months, 2nd (g) at 19 months only because her brother was training at the time and she copied him. I had NO ideas of training her at that time. My 3rd (b) at 28 months and now my 4th (g)28 months, just went into to undies this week at 28 months. She isn't trained sompletely by any means, but is doing pretty well.

Your daughter is FINE! She is not behind at all.....some train earlier, some later.....but I agree about not pushing her if she isn't ready. It could only make it harder. You are doing a great job and she will get it when she is ready!

I don't have advice but wanted you to know I'm right there with you. My daughter is 32 months old and is the SAME way. We've tried everything, treats, threats, pleading, outings, multiple potties, watching me go, watching other kids go. You name it. She wants NOTHING to do with it. It was beginning to turn into a very bad fight every day with her and I just decided to let it go. This site helped me as well because I too thought I was just doing something wrong and I found the only thing wrong I was doing was not letting it go. I ask her from time to time if she wants to try and she emphatically says no. Placing her on the potty leads to uncontrollable screaming and crying. So I keep the potty's around, talk about it, let her come in with me whenever she wants but other then that were at a stand still. It's very frustrating but I just don't care anymore. She'll eventually get it and it's not worth ruining our time together fighting it out. Anyway, thanks for reminding me I'm not alone in this and I hope my story does the same for you. Fingers crossed that our kids will be using that potty soon and these worries and frustrations will be a distant memory.

You know all kids do this on their own time, so don't worry about it and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. People always like to judge other people when their kids aren't right on the exact timetable, but the best thing for your daughter is to just let it happen! You have done everything right, so just wait for her to be ready! It will happen before you know it!

All 3 of my girls were over 3 when they were trained. I actually think it was easier, because it only took them less then a week to be trained.

L.

I definitely agree with the other moms that your daughter will train when she's ready. I would just like to add that you might want to look into "Toilet Training in Less than a Day." It is a book written back in the 70s, but the concept is still great. The authors walk you through every step. The first phase is having the child "teach" a doll how to use the potty (you need a doll that actually pees). Then, she'll already know the process, so it's just a transition to her doing it herself.

She'll still need to decide when she's ready. We did the method of training in a day with our son when he was about 25 months. He knew what was expected, but didn't care. After about 5 hours, my husband gave up (yep, my husband trainied him!). We let it go for a couple months (waited until after a long trip), and tried again by just asking if he wanted to wear big boy underwear. He said yes, so he's been in real undies since. We continued to follow the premise of the book, and only had a few accidents the first week (we kept him in diapers at night for quite a while). It took longer to get him to poop in the potty, but I think the last poopy accident we had was about a month after we put him in real undies.

Just be patient. She'll get it when she's ready!

I agree that you shouldn't push it... my son started a bit after his 3rd birthday, and six months later was trained at both p&p. A few accidents here and there and eventually we stopped doing pull ups at night since they were staying dry. An occasional accident still, but he is getting up in the night to go sometimes.
Anyways, there is a dvd called Potty time, and you can get it from your library. If they don't have it, ask for them to get it by interlibrary loan. It has a catchy little song the kids seem to like.
Also, you may try letting her sit on the potty fully dressed in the beginning, even with the lid closed... maybe while you go. Then she may realize that you are not pushing her.

A., My daughter was the same way. In fact, she got to be 3 and still had no interest in it! I asked the pediatrican what to do and she told me to basically back off the issue and stop talking about it. The pediatrician told me it was something that my daughter could control (I can't force her to do it) and that my daughter would hold on to it as long as I made it a struggle. I listened to the doctor and sure enough, one day, out of the blue, she asked me to go on the potty and has been going ever since, with only 1 or 2 accidents. What I've found is that b/c she is older, she gets it better and more than ready for the training. It will still take some time and I still put pull-ups on her for bedtime but that is the only time. She is pretty much potty trained! I'm very pleased and it wasn't such a stuggle once she decided she wanted to do it.
Good luck!
M.

I too completely agree with Christy and my 24 month old is just like Toni's son...likes the idea of the potty but firm no about GOING on the potty. My first son self initiated and trained at 25 months...my second son will surely take longer, but potties are out and ready when he is. The other night he chose to sit on the potty for a while and got a lot of praise for it. We'll see when that happens again. :) I completely agree to take it at her timing and her timing is NOT unusual despite what people may say...3 is average for when they are ready to potty train physically, emotionally, mentally, etc, so I too think it not good to PUSH it on them, but rather encourage and they'll do it in their time. I think you are doing everything right with it...she's just not quite ready yet.

A.,

I 100% agree with Christy's posting. My son is 28 months and he LOVES the potty - to put toilet paper in and flush. He refuses to go on it, though. We bought him a little chair and he will sit on it, for about 5 seconds before his bath. He tells us when he's going "poo-poo" and I ask him if he wants to go on the potty and he always says (firmly), "No." "Poo-poo diaper."

Simply put, my son (and your daughter) just aren't ready. Don't push, as I've heard that makes it worse. We ask our son and when he says, "No." I say, "Ok, bud, just tell Mama when you want to try."

I've heard it's 3 years old to really start thinking about trying - if they show signs and are willing.

So, don't worry, keep the potties available and continue to let her know if she's ready, you are ready to help.

T.

I think you are doing things perfectly! You are very aware of the needs of your daughter and meeting those needs! I think 28 months is still young. With my daughter I "pushed" her and she was trained when she was young but not without stress on both of our parts. My sister trained her son (yes I know there are gender differences) when he was almost 4 and when he was ready it took about a day. He had no interest whatsoever at that point and is a very smart child. She just knew when he was ready and would read him books and let him get comfortable. Potty training has nothing to do with how smart a kid is and I wouldn't let other people have you feel that way as mothers are so want to do. Good luck all will be fine!
T.

A.,

First of all, nobody should be pressuring you about potty training your child. Every child is an individaul and will potty train when they are ready. The best advice I can give you is to wait until she is ready. Stop trying to push the issues, because the harder you push the more disinterested she will be. Research has also shown that potty training is a critical area in a child's development where their self-esteem can be badly damaged if it is handled wrong. A lot of toddlers don't become fully potty trained until after they are 3. Your daughter will let you know when she is ready. In the meantime relax and put things into prospective. Your daughter will not be in diapers when she is ready for kindergarten!

J.