Potty Training Other People's Kids

I worked at a inhome daycare and we had 2 boys and my daughter training at the same time. Things were going pretty slow and then all of a sudden it became a competative thing. A cool thing and the 3 of them fought over who got to go first etc. They would have shoving matches etc. I just sat back and watched. That's my only suggestion. I too watched a child a few months back and had her totally potty trained but mom wasn't with it and didn't want her child to grow up so put her back in diapers. That was it for me I decided it was to stressful to watch this child and quit plus other reasons.

Unfortunately nobody has said anything about the REAL problem here.
This is what you said -

"His parents seem to really want to get him on the potty, but they both claim it's the other one's fault that he doesn't go. "

This is the bigger issue. If his parents want him to start using the toilet, then THEY need to sit down together and figure out what they're doing wrong, because obviously their way isn't working.

It's possible that his training with dad is being handled in a way that is extremely different than it is with mom.

They need to realize that it isn't anyones fault. They need to start working together in the best interest of their son instead of arguing about who's fault it is.

They need to DECIDE to train him the same way in both homes and to be consistent with it. Then they need to tell you exactly how they are doing it so that you can follow their lead.

If they work together they are more likely to see results.

My biggest concern with your post is that if you are not licensed, you are breaking the law. You can only care for kids from one other family besides your own without being licensed in Minnesota.

Beyond that, I am a licensed provider and have toiled trained about 25 kids over the years. One basic rule is you can't force anyone to go potty. You can bribe, encourage and cajole them, but not force. Best things to start with are sticker charts and bribes ( a few skittles or m& m's, or those tiny one bite candy bars)....otherwise set the timer for every??? 45 min or hour. when the timer goes off, its his time to try the potty. I have had 2 boys at 3 1/2 and almost 4 who were finally potty trained....I never though it would happen. But whatever you do needs to be consistent with what is happening at home.

Good luck.

I haven't even read your whole post yet...but DONT force him to potty or he will become afraid and it will take longer!!! He may not be ready to potty train. I did daycare for 4 year old twins and a 1 year old until about 2 years ago. The 4 year olds were not potty trained at all, she would try at home, have potty chairs in every room, but the little boy still stood in the corner and peed or pooped. One day they decided they were ready to train and didn't need diapers after that. You can give children the knowledge of what needs to be done, but you can't make them use that knowledge until they are ready to.

Pull-ups, in my opinion, are the stupidest things ever invented. I tried those after a week of potty training with my daughter, and I regret it. She regressed and was back in diapers for 3 months. There was nothing I could do to get her to use the potty. My recommendation there is buy him big boy underwear and only allow him to wear those, sure you may have a few messes to clean up, BUT he isn't going to like how cold the pee is when the air hits it, and will start using the potty. If he is excited about going to the K-4 program, in a gentle way tell him that he needs to be able to go potty like a big boy before he can go. Try the underwear, and make a chart. Give him a sticker to put on the chart every time he goes in the potty, once it's full, give him a "treat" of sorts. Let him do something special or have an extra snack at snack time, something he would love...it worked for my nephew...OH and try sticking a cheerio in the toilet and tell him to sink it with his pee...it will become more fun and less traumatic for him.

you could also try, with the underwear, to put him on the potty every 30 minutes, and make a big deal about how proud you are when he does go on the potty!

good luck!

H.

ps. the parents need to quit blaming each other and work together, or all of your trying won't do any good!

First of all, everyone has to be working togather to help the little boy train. Everyone has to ask him consitently if he needs to go, every hour. I wouldn't force the child to sit, becaues he is the one in control on when he is ready, and if he isn't on a routine, its really not his fault. He needs love, support and understanding right now. He needs postive reinforcement. I don't think pull ups work either, they are to much like a diaper. I would switch to underwear and have LOTS of change of clothing. I am a daycare provider as well, and the only way it worked is if the training started at home. I would follow thru with it, and we comunicated on how his progress was going. Sometimes they are not ready and its better to ease off for a few weeks and then try again.
Hopefully you can raise the awareness with both parents and all unite to work togather for the little boys sake.

You got some good advice on accomplishing the training.

I would advise giving the parents a deadline to work with you and have him trained...60-90 days...if he's not trained by then, tell him they will have to find other care arrangements.

Believe me...day care facilities won't even take a 3 year old that isn't potty trained. And like you said, he won't be able to go to pre-k in September if he's not trained.

Sometimes ya have to give the parents some tough love! They need to get their rear in gear and help...you can't do it on your own.

i agree with joyce b. give them a time limit or oh well. i'm sure you have your rates set that they can afford you-they probably won't be able to find another place at the same cost either. good luck!!!

My son fully potty trained in a day. I saw the book Toilet training in less than a day recommended on here, and bought it on Amazon, I think it was around $6. SOOO worth it! I was really impressed, and potty training my son is the easiest thing I have had to teach him. I was prepared for it to be hard and frustrating, but it wasn't at all. Some of the big things: NO pull-ups! They are the same as diapers, and do not teach the kid anything. If they get uncomforatable when they have accidents, they won't want to let it happen. People have told me they made their kids sit in it a little while to teach them... I only did that once with my son, and it was when he did it on purpose when he didn't get his way. That was a couple weeks after potty training, and he hasn't tried it again since (a few months now).
2nd: Encourage him and make him feel proud. With my son, I told him that it makes mommy sooo happy! and grandma and grandpa and puppy... and just keep listing everyone he cares about. Then when he does it remind him how happy those people are, and make sure they tell him when they see him.
3rd: All the liquids you can get down in the begining to give him practice. Kool-aid, pop, whatever for a day or two and just focus on potty training. It recommends that it is just a parent (or parents friend) and the child, noone else around to distract them, so a weekend at home with mom or dad would be best. As a reward, every time my son was still dry and went, he got a handful of frito's, if he was wet and went after the accident, he got one. The book reccomends salty over sweet, because it makes you thirsty. I never said one negative word about the accidents, I just encouraged him to try to stay dry so that he could have the fritos and "make Mommy soo happy!". He was soo excited and proud. The first day he had a lot of accidents. But he woke up the next morning, went straight to the bathroom, and didn't have any accidents all day. We went to skateville that day, and out for dinner, and he stayed dry at both.
A way to work around the using underwear instead of a pull up (in case of accidents) is to take a platic bag (like a cub or target bag) and put it over the seat of the carseat. That way it is protected if they do have an accident in the car, so you aren't soo worried that you don't leave the underwear on.

This book was tried on 200 children, between 22 months and 4 years. All but 2 were successful in the first day, and the 2 that weren't both had fathers who thought they weren't ready and were against potty training.

Also... he is COMPLETELY independant. I have to wipe his butt... but he does the rest. I don't even go in the bathroom, he doesn't need me to. If you continue to have problems I highly reccomend this book, and either way, $6 is worth it even if it just makes it a little easier, isn't it? That was my thought when I bought it, and as I read it I got more and more excited about the things it said and the way it explained the proccess. (Another thing I did but didn't focus on the way the book said, was to get a doll that pees and have him help you teach the doll to do it, before he does it on his own. I think that is more helpful for young kids who can't communicate well yet, my son was 2 1/2 and pretty much skipped that part, and still did really great).

GOOD LUCK!!!! I HOPE IT WORKS!!!! Let us know what happens!

J.

Hi! You're doing a great job and I hope everything works out. I have a six-year-old who had some trouble training because we made a major move during that time frame. Keep in mind that it's harder when kids are going through tough times (like separated parents), but be patient.
Also, I was a child care provider and I'VE TRAINED MANY KIDS! I totally agree with putting him in underwear. It's gross at first, but it works the quickest. He's old enough to know what to do and once he feels the messy 'big boy' underwear a few times, he'll want to go to the potty. Also, have him go with the other boys so he can see how easy and rewarding it is to use the potty. Good luck!

I do in-home daycare and have found boys train later than girls, but all the boys I've had train by their 3rd birthday. We celebrate everyone's birthday with a little party. I just let it be known to all that 2 year olds who aren't potty trained can't have a 3rd birthday unless they are trained and wearing big kid underwear. Then after I know that they know the process of going, I remind them regularly to go and leave it up to them to accomplish. (Of course I'm there to help and wipe etc.) If someone protests going I say something like,"Wouldn't it be sad if we couldn't have a birthday party for____?" Then the other kids all express disappointment and encourage the trainer to go potty, because they want to have a party. No one has ever missed their party, and when someone trains early they get to have a special potty party and get a gift. Most of the kids decide to train by 2 1/2. Note:The parents know about and approve my method. You also want to make sure there are no physical problems inhibiting training before trying a method like this.