Hello out there,
I am new to this so I'm not quite sure how this works but I thought I would give it a shot. I am co-raising three adorable children with my boyfriend they are ages 5, 3 1/2 and 2. Our middle child is having issues with Potty Training. Most of the time she remembers to go on her own but lately she says she forgot. We have tried every thing from rewardding her every time she goes, to asking her every 15 minutes if she had to go. We now make her try to go before naps and bedtime and first thing in the morning. I know part of the reason she is having an issue is she has dealt with a lot in her life. She was very young when her mom died though she clearly remembers her, plus the stress however good it is ovf her dad and I being together and getting serious. I have a great relationship with all four of them but when it comes to this we are out of ideas. Additionally her little brother is about ready to start potty training...what can we do?? please help!!
I want to thank all of you for your responses. You all have sond great suggestions. We are all doing great but while we are training our little girl daddy has decided it's time to train number three. This will work out though maybe they can work through it together. I thank you all again and I look forward to getting to know you better.
I think be patient and give her grace. At the same time, try to take on some of the responsibility from her of remembering. She's still very little. Tell her you're going to remind her, or set a timer, and she's expected to try at those times. My kids regressed when I thought they had it and stopped being part of the process by reminding them frequently to try. Girls will go almost every time they try, so maybe this would help.
Hey there. My name is D. and I am new to this site. I had this same problem with my daughter at that age. I actually had this problem with her till she went to kinder. She is now in 1st grade. She used to always wear the pull ups. I decided one day just to stop buying them so she would have any more. It sounds a little cruel, but it does work. I also sent a timer for every 10 mins at first to see how it went. As that worked, I increased the time to every 15 mins and then 20 mins, and so on. Its a lot to deal with and I know. I have 3 kids myself but sometimes you need to spend a little extra time with one of them. Best of luck and let me know how it turns out.
D.
My first answer to anyone dealing with pottying issues is to get those kids out of pullups! Pullups are just diapers and the children do not feel wet and uncomfortable in them. Put her in cloth training pants or just panties. If you go the panties route, just expect some messes for awhile. No one said parenting was neat! If you need help finding cloth training pants, feel free to contact me. I've tried several. I firmly believe if kids have to sit in wet pants, they'll get themselves out of them and figure out much more quickly that using the potty will save them a lot of hassle. Otherwise, there's very little incentive. Good luck!
Try having the your girl teach/demonstrate/help your youngest. It might help her to feel like she's training him.
K.
Hi,
For some reason your story touched my heart. It must be hard for all of you sometimes with the loss and all the emotions involved. I am a mother of 4 and I am having #5, a baby boy in October. My first son was from a previous marriage, he left us and might as well have been dead. I look back now and my son was 3 and still not trained, he even liked to drink chocolate milk from a bottle at the age of 4!! It seems silly now but, at the time it seemed OK and he is 15 today and is fine. My first thought of advise was for you to lovingly tell her that you are not going to think she is a baby if she still needs to wear pull ups and that when she is ready to use the potty all the time then you can buy her big girl panties.
I hope all goes well and just hang in there cause if that is all she is demonstrating as far as not coping you are really lucky.
Take care,
T. F.
My son is almost three and we're about done with potty training. I have limited experience, but maybe I can help. Is the 5 year old a boy or a girl? If it's her sister, could she kind of help out? A lot of times younger siblings like to emulate the older ones. Is she in preschool? My son became really consistent with potty training when he started preschool a couple of weeks ago. I think seeing that all the other kids would go potty made him more aware of it. We tried rewards, but that didn't work very well. Taking him to the bathroom constantly didn't always work, either. Is she *always* in "pretty panties?" We had to switch completely from diapers to underwear to avoid confusion and that helped a lot, too.
I wish you and your family the best of luck.
We had problems with our son who is now 3. Does the 3 1/2 year old wear pull up or diapers? The first thing I did with my son was take them away so he could feel when he is wet. Any major crisis in their life will delay potty training. We moved 4 times while potty training my son and I think thats why it took so long, but once things were calm and I worked with him consistantly he was potty trained pee wise in about a month and only recentlty is pooping on the potty. So this is what all I did:
I made him wear underwear and everytime he had an accident I raced him to the potty and calmly told him yuou are suppose to go in the potty. I did this everytime.
I set the timer for every hour and just took him. If it had been a while since he went without any accidents I took him more often .
In the beginning we rewarded him with a cookie cause he loves cookies, but once he was going more than a few times a day we did a potty chart. We went to the store and let him pick stickers out and everytime he went he got put a ticker on this train chart I found on the Internet and printed. he loved being able to pick out stickers and place them on the chart. Now when the chart is all filled up I take him to the store and he gets to pic out a small present like $5 and under is what I did. You can even go to the dollars store. This potty chart really helped. Once he was going alot he was not really interested in it anymore.
It's great that you are there for the kids. I have two and they are 16 mos apart and now its time I start my daughter when I am barely done with my son! So I know that feeling! Good Luck.
A.
First of all, how cool that you love these children as if they were your own. The loss of a parent is just heartbreaking. I lost my mom when I was eight. It leaves a hole you really never fully recover from. It sounds like you are very sensitive to these children and what they have gone through. You'll make a great new mom. I wouldn't place too much emphasis on the potty training. I have a seven year old and a two year old and they do things at their own pace. My seven year old learned from going to a daycare situation and watching the other kids do it. My experience with my children is that they don't respond to the parents pushing it. So I would let it go for now. You're in no rush. She'll learn to use the potty in her own time.
I would definitely talk about their mom, ask questions, let them know you won't ever take her place but want to love them. Let them know they are safe. Experiencing death at an early age, I am aware how morbid my thinking is...thoughts of doom, death of my kids, life isn't safe etc. When my mom died, my dad just remarried and we never talked about her. I think the grief was too intense for my dad but it took an emotional toll on my sister and me. What is far more important is not that she learns to use the toilet but that she grows up to be a healthy, content child.
I think the best thing to do, especially considering all of the changes lately in this little one's life, is to just stay consistent and be patient. I think that even when children start out slow or hit road bumps and regress with certain milestones, given the right amount of praise and encouragement they always catch up. Being consistent, patient and encouraging will give her the confidence she needs to conqure the potty training as well as cope with other challenges in her life. I'm sure that with the love and support that she is already getting from you and her father she will be just fine and get using the potty down in her own time.
My 4-yr-old went through a period of "forgetting" when she was about 3 and 1/2. I thought it was that she needed the attention - little sister took a lot of time away from her. I would offer her rewards - "if you go two days without wetting your pants, you'll get ______" - and then "if you go all week - and show her the calendar, ..." Positive rewards and encouragement always worked better than getting mad at her. And, she got over it. Good luck.
I am doing the potty training stuff with my almost 3 1/2 year old daughter. She forgets too or I should say she is just too distracted by what she is doing. Still working on #2 without only one success that was about 4 weeks ago. I mother I know told me to not reward her everytime she goes but to reward her for staying dry. Start out with stay dry for 2 hours and then increase it. I haven't been consistent with this. It did help in the beginning but that it. I am going to try to get back to that and be consistent and extend those times. Sooner or later it will just click in their heads. Hope this helps.
J.
I have three girls and if you can go through it with potty training, we have "been there done that"! She will get past this as will you. Kids for whatever reason, will have set backs and then jump ahead and be fine and then have set backs and then be fine.....my first daughter still has her moments and she has been potty trained for 2 1/2 years. She just waits too long to go and can't hold it any longer. It sounds like you are doing things just fine in asking her to go morning/nap/bed. You have taken on a big responsability and it sound like you have some shoes to fill. I applaud you in your effort to love on those girl and let me tell you, if you think this is difficult on you, it is very hard on the sweet little girl! Have patience, this too will pass! Blessings,S.
