My son turned 3 in February and has been "half potty trained" since December. He wears underwear and pees in the potty standing up. He hasn't had an accident in forever. But when it comes to #2, he will insist on pooping in a pull-up. He will hold it in until he has a pull-up on (he still sleeps in a pull-up at night). We can't even get him to sit on the toilet at all. He doesn't like the little potty or the big potty. We've even stooped to bribery. Nothing seems to work. He had an incident at school where he fell in the toilet a little so I think that's why he doesn't like sitting on the toilet. I feel like he's way too old for me to still be changing poopy pants. Help!!
This is the exact story of my 3 yr old grandson. His mom just quite making a big deal out of it (kind of gave up since there was another baby on the scene by then) Finally at almost 3 1/2 he decided to use the potty (told his mom) and has never had an accident again! He does get a treat for each success.
That is common with little boys. I have known many mom's that have gone through the same thing. My girl friend's son wouldn't stop until he was 4. Her pediatrician said that little boys feel like #2 is a part of them and they don't want to part with it until they are good and ready. He told her not to try and force it just let him decide when he was ready and all of a sudden one day he did. Another friend with a 31/2 yr old boy is going through the same issue. Be patient he will start going on the potty when he is ready.
There are 3 things that a child truly has control over: sleeping, eating and toileting These issues can be very emotional for parents. They can lead to power struggles with children.
This issue of pooping in the "pull up" is actually quite common. Many children are so used to pooping in a particular position (hiding in a corner squatting) that it feels unnatural to sit on a toilet. Some children are afraid of the sound, look or concept of toilets.
When we had a similar issue when my son was 3 1/2 --I refused to be pulled into a power struggle. In a very matter-of-fact way I gave my son a choice- he could poop in the potty- or he could poop in a pull-up and then clean himself up (I supervised but he had ultimate responsibility of clean up operations.)
After a while got tired of the clean up as it could be quite messy and time consuming. He finally made the choice to try the toilet and after a few uncomfortable attempts- was on track with the potty.
We kept the tone friendly and nonthreatening. I did a lot of deep breathing as it was not fun to go through this. However, I am pleased to say, that we made it through and we are onto other issues (the normal path of childhood). All the normal annoying things that kids do and parents shake their heads about.
This will resolve in time...have him pick out special books for 'potty' time, keep them handy and thru out the day encourage him to sit. Watch him for his bowel routine, timing is everything!! When you get to know his routine, just have him sit, with his books and read. Sit with him and encourage him to read, not potty. It might take lots of encouragement, patience and praise, but when goes on the potty the first time, your battle is done. My 26 y/o was resistant too, until he went for the first time, wish I'd had my camera for the look on his face!!
Hello E.,
I can suggest reading a book to him about potty training. There is a really great book from a movie star, which slips my mind right now, but if you go to your local book store, they will know the one I mean, it's really popular. And in many cases works, read the book to him, have patience, and then maybe he won't be so afraid of the potties...the book really does help! It will all go at your son's pace, my boy didn't pick it up until just a little after 3 yrs. old, boys are slower also...just relax hon, it'll all work out..
Peace,
M.
I have the exact some problem with my girl (also 3 in February). She pooped on the potty once and we had a big party and then she did it for about a week or so. But now won't again. She waits until she has her nighttime diaper on to go. We have two presents waiting for her--one if she poops on the potty once and one if she does it for a whole week, but she still won't. I think the best thing to do is to get rid of all diapers/pull-ups so they have no choice. However, I am at my mother's house and her beds aren't protected yet so I haven't taken that step. I would also appreciate any advice or feedback on this issue!
First if you think it is a being affraid of the potty, look into one of those potty seats. Toys R Us, Wal-Mart, and Target all sell them in the baby section. They have lots of cool designs out now, babseball, football, Disney Cartoons. Find one he likes, and don't ne affraid to take it to preschool, and out on outings. You may want to buy one extra to leave in the car if it works for him. Try to get dad involved. Boys diggest struggle is moms are not the same. Try first to get him to sit on the potty while you are making his bath at night. Don't feel like bribery is a bad thing, if it accomplishes the goal. We have a friend who took her son out to toys r us, and let him pick out a present. When they got home they wrapped it and put it in the bathroom. When he used the potty #2 he was allowed to open it. Good Luck, and know that this is very common for boys.
Ok Our son started and then stopped training at about 2 1/2 years old. He was out of town and sick during the first half of training.This is my third and last child. The first two were girls. They were a lot easier and they had each other to speed along the training. This little guy just turned three inMay. He was completely trained in April. I found he did the same thing -holding #2 and he wanted us to put a pull up on him or a diaper so he could go. I did as he wanted and while changing him I told him over and over how he was too big for this and it was "stinky" and I showed him that it was not a big kid thing to do and it was yucky..I just kept saying these type of things and he must have agreed. I just kept showing where he needed to go and bought him a "cars movie" potty seat -which he liked.I also tried the Elmo potty training video. The book that is out there may help too. Between the video/the new seat/the book and the "yucky" comments to him--it finally worked!!!!!
Have you tried buying the child seat for the big toilet? That is what my neice used for her son. She had the same problem only it was her husband that let him fall into the toilet. If you buy the seat. Sit him on it on the floor and let him see that his bottom can't go through it before placing it on the toilet for him. I know it's more work but a lot better than changing messing pull ups.
E.,
first of all, realize that it is a pretty common occurrence with boys. when my son was being potty trained, he would pee on the pot, but would hold the poop until i put his night time diaper on. then he would let it go. it made me nuts at first. time will pass and your son will go poop on the potty when he is ready. just try to relax and don't make a big deal about it. although, DO make a big deal about it when he poops on the potty. the first time my son pooped on the pot on his own i gave him an "ice cream party" which consisted of me and him sitting down at the table and celebrating with an ice cream sundae. he's now almost six and still talks about the ice cream party we had when he pooped. just remember, be patient and supportive. it takes time; your son will do it when he's ready.
Don't worry too much, I know it's frustrating!!! Two of my girlfriends little boys, now 6 and 4 wouldn't poop on the pot until they were almost 4. Her six year old still felt more comfortable pooping in his pants until 4 1/2....I always hear from parents, I go to the park alot, that pooping on the pot for kids is always the most difficult for them to do and it always takes longer. Just keep on him, try not to stress out about it too much. I have a 2 1/2 year old who sits on the pot himself but thinks it's more of a game of hearing the flush song but has no concept yet of what to do...He's not talking actual words yet either but not stressing about it, I know there is nothing wrong with him. . .Due time, due time....Plus I always hear that boys are slower to do things so who knows...:)
My son was the same way for awhile,he was a little over 4 before he was fully potty trained.He now will be 6 in 2 months.
He soon will grow out of that stage,just like my son did.
I even tried to bribe my son.I also told my son that he would not be able to start kindergarten if he wasn't potty trained b/c the teacher is not allowed to wipe his behind,plus I also told him big boys don't wear pull-up and that they poop in the potty and if he says he is a big boy then he should use the potty to pee and poop like big boys do.
I just read some of the other responce's if you do take away the pull-ups you can get a protecter for any size bed that you have they aren't expensive at all.
We me telling my son this off and on it worked after awhile.
Good luck.
A lot of kids seem to think that pooping on a potty will hurt. Seeing your son had that incident at school, he really is probably scared. Let him poop in the diaper. Take the diaper off and let him watch it fall in the toilet. Cheer for the poopy in the potty. Do this a couple times. Then,while wearing a poopy diaper let him sit on the potty(if you can get him to sit on the potty). Release the diaper while he is on the toilet to show him that it does not hurt. Cheer like crazy for the poopy in the potty. ALl my nieces and nephews had this experience.. You might also consider getting a tiny potty for him to practice sitting on, maybe something more his size will assist with the fear.
I will admit to lucking out. I started my son just sitting and playing on the potty when he was 18 months (fully clothed). I knew he was not ready to be trained, but we made it a game. At 24 months, I let him sit there naked while we sung potty songs. I tricked him into pooping. I made him yellow rice with Olive Oil instead of butter (much healthier, and will make you poop). After eating I sat him on the potty for songs. He started tooting and was really surprised when the poop came out. We cheered and called everyone. We are now working on consistancy. He is fine doing both behaviors, but he doesn't always recognize when he has to go.
I am going thru that with my son who just turned 3 2 weeks ago. He insist he wear a pull up to poop. I dont get it. I was trying everything so he would go on the potty. He even makes himself constipated because he holds it in all day until we get home and I give him a pull up at his request.
I read in the baby book to leave him alone, that he will come around. But I to, feel he is too old to be changing poopy pull ups. Let me know if you get any good advice.
My son turned 3 in April and has been 100% potty trained for over 1 week now. We got extremely lucky. After the third day of training, he had to go poop. He had done it once in his underwear and HATED how that felt. I sat with him on the potty for hours! He kept begging me for a diaper, but I told him we didn't have any. The pooppy needed to come out and he needed to do it on the potty. I have never seen him cry so hard! He fought it for hours until he just couldn't anymore. He took his first poop with me hugging him while he cried. After he did it, I gave him his special toy that we had told him about for weeks! He has gone by himself ever since and actually likes it now. After 4 days of him going #2 on his own, I gave him one last toy that officially meant he was potty trained and that made him so proud! I call him the potty master, he likes that too. I agree, get him a seat that you take him to the store to pick out. Put it on the floor and have him sit on it to show him he will not fall through. Getting him to sit on the potty is obviously the first challange! After that, find a bunch of different things to do to keep him there when you know he needs to go #2. books only worked so long for me. I got a big Thomas the Train sticker book and that worked great. I also brought out a TV table and said it was a special potty table we can play on when he is on the potty. We got all his play doh and he played for almost a whole hour on the potty. Before he finally went, he would jump up and say he was done when it was about to come out. Then, 10 minutes later he would come to me asking for a diaper and we would do the potty all over again. This went on for a couple of days, so don't plan on cooking any elabrate meals! They can hold it for a long time! But there comes a point when nature can no longer be denyed!
My son still hesitates to go #2 in the toilet. Pee--no problem, but he will hold in the poo forever sometimes. He just recently started to initiate going to the toilet himself--he just turned four. It just takes time! Be patient.
A
Hi -
There was another post similar to this. This is very common apparently!
My son is 4 1/2 (I hate to admit that) and has the same problem. He holds it until he gets his nighttime pullup on (used to be a diaper) and then says he has to poop.
He refuses to sit on the potty. He says he's afraid of getting splashed (but I think he just heard that somewhere). Something in the other posts made me think that since he learned to pee standing up, sitting on the potty isn't natural to him. So I started asking him to sit on the potty to pee, or I ask him to sit on the potty before pooping (even if I then let him poop in his pullup). This is actually helping, and last night he told me next time he would try pooping on the potty. I almost fainted.
In the past we have tried bribing, threatening, all of the things mentioned here and in the other posts. The best advice (though it's not great for you) is just try to stay detached from it and have patience. It sometimes takes a long time.....
