Hi J.! I read your request and felt compelled to share my stories with you. I am a SAHM to my 3 kids (girl - 11, girl - 8, and boy - 3 1/2). We tried to "force" our oldest to potty train and that backfired. She had more accidents than I cared to deal with. We backed off and one day, she came home, I went to change her diaper, and she said "But I don't want to wear a daiper. I want my big girl underwear." Ok, great. Done. Child #2: Was in daycare, time to move to older class....must be potty trained. We told her all your friends are moving and you won't be able to. She fought it. I gave up. About 2 weeks later...I don't want to wear a diaper anymore. Done. Then along came child #3....the BOY. I thought...ok. I am home. This should be easier. At 1 1/2 he wanted to use the potty like his sisters. Bought him one. It became a step stool. I tried to force him. Nothing. I let him run around naked. Nothing. I gave up. Nothing. I was so frustrated! I thought...here I have a 3 year old...who has no interest in potty training. Then we had a couple days where I just sat him on the potty and he actually went a few times. Then he got sick and wanted nothing to do with it again. I forgot to mention that we offered him his favorite candy as well each time he went in the potty. A couple weeks ago...after he was feeling better...we were on the last diaper getting ready for bed. I looked at him and told him that he was a big boy. He was not a baby anymore. He would always be MY baby but he was not A baby. I told him that the next morning, he would be using the potty all day and in big boy underwear all day. He looked at me and said "Ok, mommy". I thought "You have got to be kidding. Tell me it won't be that easy!". Well, the next day, we had about half & half accidents & potty all day. The next day, he had 2 accidents. For the next 4 days, 2 accidents...always #2. Then, I caught him going #2 and put him on the potty. He was successful. No more accidents. At the same time, he started telling me he had to go. We are going on 5 days of no accidents. 2 more days and he gets his coveted Diego underwear from the store. Needless to say, I am just about at the point of taking out stock in Kit Kat! I am running out.
So, the point of all of this is that each child is different and you will need to experiment to figure out what works with your child. And boys & girls are different with what works for them as well. I read somewhere that children aren't born knowing when they need to go. They learn the ability to know as they are training. So in the beginning, you do have to tell them to go. Their little bodies don't automatically know.
My only advice is to be patient and it will come. Maybe not as soon as you want, but it will happen. You won't have an 18 year old in diapers!! :-)
Best of Luck!!!