Potty Training - Toms River,NJ

I am going to have to disagree with lee. he is 3 and should be going to the potty. but i am having the same problem with me 4 yr old and i have done the same things. paid him everytime, that worked but was the dumbest thing i think that i have ever done. made a potty chart, been patient, and nothing has worked for me so...I won't give you a suggestion since what i'm doing is not working. I'M SORRY THO!!!! It's sooo frustrating! =(

Only an opinion but I say nothing from experience. Stop talking about it, making a big deal etc. You said he knows how to go right, well he will go when he is ready. I went through the same ordeal with my first child, he was so easy to train in that he could do both poop and pee with no problem and he was actually doing it for awhile, but then for him for 6 months we fought a battle with him and were so frustrated cause we knew he knew how to do it, so we finally did not talk about it at all and a month later he just went on his own one day and that was that. My second we tried that technique of not talking about it at all or trying to get him to learn. Just once in awhile we made comments like hey when are you going to go on the potty like your big brother. We did not want the stress of the first, before his 3rd birthday he came into the bathroom one day and took his pants down and went just like that we did no training. That was it I swear and he has been great ever since, even we were amazed. To this day I feel it was the no pressure technique. I have been doing this with my third too, we will see. She may prove the theory wrong :) but as strong willed as she is I think she will go when she is ready too!!! Good luck and I know it is hard honest, try not to stress and let it go, think of it like OK at least he can be your "baby" a little longer, friends of mine are having the same struggle and I know it sounds hard to let it go but I swear if you do and are patient it will happen!!!

I have twin boys that just turned 3 and are not potty trained. Two Drs. told me not to push it, when they are ready they will do it!!!

I completely disagree with Julie L. When he's ready, he'll do it with no objection and no hassle. Sounds to me like he's just not ready.

Hi S., children should never be allowed to refuse what they are told to do, You have mentioned what you use for rewards, but what do you use for discipline. At 3 he should be using the potty without help on his own. By age 2 my husband was teaching our boys how to stand up and go. Your husband needs to be hands on in potty training your son, my husband was very envolved in potty training our boys. Discipline is positive!

How is he refusing? Is he having accidents? My son threw a fit when we would try to put him on the potty, and requested diapers. Until I went to the store and found underwear "like daddy's". He announces daily that he is wearing underwear like daddy and knows that if he wants to wear underwear, that he has to go when we tell him. I also put the timer on so that the beeping says he has to go, not just us.

Hi S., Children are amazing little creatures. He knows how much you want him to and HE thinks he is in control! Try backing off and let him think it is not that important. If he wets himself, he has to change himself. Other moms have posted this solution in the past. Grandma Mary (mom of 5)

I used potty predictor an iphone app. It was really great for my son, who is now 25 months and fully potty trained. It has a customizable timer and fun reinforcements for trying and successfully using the potty. The really great thing is that it really predicts when your child will have to use the potty-you log info when he pees (success and accidents). It then calculates the potty trends and then predicts when he will use the potty. Best of luck. This really worked for me!

Hi S.,
I would forgo the sticker chart, prize box, candy bucket and other rewards. This is not a game! Prizes are for games, not for expected behavior. Stop treating using the toilet as something he has an option to do or something to please you. It's expected behavior. If you are using diapers or other disposable products, get rid of them. If you're expecting him to tell you that he has to go, forget that. Many parents expect this is an early step in training, but it is a late step. Take him to the toilet every hour and a half, keep him in cloth training pants with waterproof outer layer. Do not ask him if he has to or wants to use the bathroom, just take him. At 3, he doesn't need a potty, my kids trained directly to the toilet right around their third birthdays (one girl, one boy)
Good luck

A child will NOT go when he is ready. Its easier for them to use the diaper. They need to realize that its nicer not to be wet and not to stink. However a young child might not realize they have to go, so you have to take him on a regular time schedule until he figures out what a full bladder feels like. Like most kids he probably is hiding when he is moving his bowels and probably at the same time , so you need to watch for those signs and take him to the potty. Does he refuse to sit? Then that should have a consequence. Does he refuse to sit in his car seat? high chair? go to bed? 3 year olds should not be allowed to refuse a direct order since it might mean their safety. For example if you tell him to STOP he should freeze. So set a timer or 1 hour and make him sit on the potty, take away diapers and/or pull ups, except at night. When he sits on the potty let him up after 4 or 5 minutes and if he went say good job, if not dont say anything. As another mom said do away with rewards unless you reward him for sitting in his car seat, eating meals, getting dressed etc.