Potty Training - Bronx,NY

Updated on November 12, 2009
P.W. asks from Stony Point, NY
7 answers

Where do I begin? I am a mother of two year old twin girls and I would like to begin potty training. I am an Assistant Principal so my time with my daughters is at bedtime on weekdays and for the majority of the weekend. I have a nanny three days a week (Tues, Wed and Friday) and my husband stays with the girls on Monday and Thursday. If I had my nanny 5 days a week, I would feel more comfortable beginning because she will be consistent. My husband does not want to try so he wants to hear no part right now.

Will it break the routine if my nanny and I attempt potty training the days she and I can(Tuesday, Wed, Fri, Sat & Sunday)?

Should I just wait until my Xmas vacation where I have a week and a half off and begin then? Hoping the husband when follow the trend.....

Also, how do I even begin? I have heard to just go cold turkey putting them in panties and just repeatedly asking them if they want to go to the potty?

Help!

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T.B.

answers from Rochester on

I just had some potty training experience with my neice, who is 3. I babysit her full time while her mom works (single mom). I definetly think you need to be consistent when potty training, so if your husband isn't on board, wait until you have the Christmas break. It can be done in a week if you can be patient and persistent. With my neice, as long as she was in a diaper or a pull up, she would not go on the potty. So we just told her that she was all done with diapers, she was a big girl, and had her wear only panties. I kept the little potty in the kitchen so it was easy to get to and I would have her sit on it periodically throughout the day. I would pay close attention to what/when she was drinking and try to get her on the potty when she had to go. It was hard at first--she would sit on the potty for 20 minutes, then pee the minute she was off of it. The main thing I had to remember was to remain patient and calm, no matter how frustrating it is. She was afraid to go on the potty, so I didn't want to stress her out more. AFter about three days, she was telling me when she had to go potty. Oh and we would reward her with candy whenever she went on the potty, so that helped a lot! I hope this is helpful, it can be a long and draining process, but if you work at it consistently, your girls should be trained in no time. I just want to add that a friend of mine just potty trained her twin girls and found one more receptive to it than the other, so she trained her first, then the other followed suit so if one of them does not seem ready, it might be easier to focus on one at a time.

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M.H.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi P.,
I started potty training my daughter when she was around two---I bought some girl related potty training books at Barnes and Noble, pull-ups,a little potty (I believe it was Fisher Price) that played music when she actually was successful, and even had her pick out some panties. She spent some time in the pull-ups, and I never rushed her to be trained. I was always told it will happen when SHE's ready! She was not quite two and a half when she wanted to wear panties---all was going well and then I had my twin boys! She regressed and was having accidents. Our pediatrician told us it was normal due to the new change in our family. Within a couple of months, she was back in her panties and having accidents here and there-mostly at night. I believe it all comes together for them! I'm sure you've heard girls are a lot easier to train than boys!
I would spend the time during your holiday break training them if that's the route you'd like to take. Otherwise, start slowly and don't push them! Best wishes!
M.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.D.

answers from New York on

Dear P., Have your girls shown any interest in the potty? You should see if they even want to sit on it. Consistency is very important and the 10 days is a good start but they need to be ready. A good place to begin would be to go out and buy a potty, then start talking about it. Also bring the girls in the bathroom with you. They may not both be ready at the same time. Good wishes, Grandma Mary

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi P.,
Yes, consistency is key - kids wont' understand why they can pee their pants 2 days a week but not the other five! Hubby needs to get on board and realize that kids don't get out of diapers by magic.
First, you said you'd like to begin training. Have both of your girls shown any readiness? Beginning training when mom feels ready to be done with diapering doesn't mean readiness on the part of the trainee. Are they aware of when they are peeing and pooping? Do they verbalize this to you or is there some sign they show before they go? Do they complain about wet and dirty diapers?
If you use disposable diapers, they don't really feel wet when they pee - if you switch to cloth diapers or the multi layer cloth training pants with plastic pants or waterproof outer layer. It teaches them what happens when you pee - you get very wet, and gives them some motivation to want to stay dry (you don't get that with pullups) and they start to realize what it feels like just before the big wet happens. When I trained my son (he was almost 3), I used the cloth trainers with waterproof layer and took him to the toilet every hour and a half - I didnt force him to stay long, just a few minutes. There were 2 or 3 weeks where we went through 8 or 10 pairs per day, and after that, he figured out that he didnt' like being wet and dirty, and would wait to go til I brought him to the bathroom (we used the regular toilet). It was still at least a month after that before he'd say he had to go or take himself - that's usually the last step in the training process, but at least he was holding it til I took him to the bathroom.
Try and see how it goes, and what your preference is. Some parents are fine with occasional pottying or spending months on the training process and lots of accidents. When my kids were that age, my preference was to keep them in diapers rather than a long, drawn out process with some toileting and a bunch of accidents daily so I waited til they were older and had a short training time. You have to figure out what's best for you and you may have some failures before you have success. Also, it is possible that you could have different results with both girls, they are not required to be ready at the same time.

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Hi P.,

I own and operate a childcare center and have potty trained hundreds of children. You are right consistency is key, there is no way you can go back and forth between diapers and underwear and be successful. Tell your husband that he needs to get on board. Children cannot tell what day of the week it is and when it is convenient for us as parents to do what we need to do. One key fact along with consistency is readiness. I just posted myself about a situation where the mother was pushing and pushing to potty train. Her daughter will be two in a few weeks. After two months (which in my opinion is way to long) I spoke to her about giving it a break and stopping. She was resistant but gave in because I refused to force this little girl at my school any longer. She would cry everytime we took her and was having constant accidents. Two days ago I approached a mom who's daughter was asking to use the potty with her friends. It is day three today and so far she has only had 1 accident and that was when she was busy playing outside. So my point is she was ready. When children are ready you can potty train in a few day. When they are not you are only going to torture both of you. I suggest you look for signs of readiness before making any decisions so you can remain consistent. You can google signs or readiness or get some books on the subject. If you feel they are ready then I think Christmas break is a great idea. This way you have a full week to concentrate and be consistent. I am not a believer in pull-ups I always have my parents go straight to cotton training underwear. It can be messy but pull-ups are just like diapers so it will not bother them being wet like underwear will. Many people just have their children run around naked that is up to you. I was never comfortable with that so I used training underwear. But that is personal choice. Good luck and tell hubby this is all part of the parenting process and his little girls growing up. So he needs to do whatever he needs to to help them. Good luck!!

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E.M.

answers from New York on

What's your husband's problem?

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H.P.

answers from New York on

I was in the same boat as you because I work full time and leave the house before our kids (twins and a singleton) get up in the morning. I only see them in the evening for about 2 hours and then on weekends. While my nanny was totally capable of potty training them herself, I found the most convenient time for the KIDS was to start the training during school vacation. My kids were all in pre-school when I started training them and it was too hard to send them to school in underwear and put the burden on the teachers to take them to the bathroom every hour and make sure they didn't wet themselves. Thus, with my older daughter, I trained her the week before her third b-day during April break. I trained the kids in the 2-week vacation period between camp and school (right after their third birthday).
I simply took away the diapers cold turkey. Told them the diaper fairy took them away but left them nighttime diapers (pull ups). One of my twin boys didn't get the hang of it right away. Had too many accidents. So I just stopped pushing it, gave him pullups and waited until the next school break to resume training. At that point, he was ready and he was trained in a day (my other ones, because I had waited until they were 3, also were trained in a day). If you find your twins are too young, try it, but don't push it. You can always wait for the next school break...

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