Potty Training - Anoka, MN

Drop the "bad mom" stuff because it will snowball on you M.. How can anyone be bad who is raising twins and a son with down syndrome? Take a step back for a moment and:

Read to them: Once Upon a Potty and Everyone Poops. They need some encouragement from someone other than you. Also, seek out stories that include children who use the bathroom (as a librarian for titles).

It's good for them to know other people who use the bathroom since their brother doesn't. Of course, they will think he is normal so they should follow.

By the way, do YOU take them to the bathroom with you so that they can see how you use the toilet, wipe, etc? This would be a good first start.

Wow, that is insensitive for someone to say to a mom who does as much as you must do for her children. You don't need the stress of a relationship like that in your life so try to minimize the contact and find friends that are supportive of you.

The more "desperate" you are, the harder it will be. Just give them the tools and tell them it is up to them. They will figure it out on their own that it is less work to go in the potty. If it is a power struggle between you, they win this round. You can't make them do it and they know that. Make them responsible to clean themselves up and change clothes. Don't do anything for them that they can do for themselves and don't get emotionally involved in their process. It will go much easier if they feel it is up to them.

You are not a bad mom!!! Get that out of your head.

Two are harder because they can stick together on things like this. A co-workers twin boys were not potty trained until they were 5 (both are "normal" kids).

Here are things we did:
Put the potty chair in front of the TV. When Olivia woke up she sat on the potty chair.
Bribery - every time she peed in the potty she earned a train track & every poop she earned a train. She loves Thomas & I bought a large train set for this.
Peer pressure - thank goodness for daycare!
There were accidents (& even now sometimes), I'm sure you don't make a big deal out of it & neither did we. We don't even now.

I would advise you to only buy pants/shorts that they can pull down & up or put them in dresses so they can do it themselves.

Good luck! This is so frustrating!

My 3 son also had a speech delay and is currently in speech therapy so every one thought i was crazy when i started potty training at 18 months. But he started showing interest and we were trying for #3 so i thought why not.

I bought him a little potty and put it in the living room and it became his favorite chair when he actually went potty he got 1 m&m or skittle. He would sit on it for hours(naked) watching cartoons playing at our little table. When we were just starting i kept him in diapers and tried to watch for the signs that he was pooping. It took about 3-4 weeks and then he was consistantly pooping in the potty, even if he started in his diaper he would come and finish in the potty. As soon as he started asking to use the potty not being asked if he had to go, i took my Dr advice and did a potty training day, we stayed home all day, my son was naked and he could have as many drinks, jello, that type of foods as much as he wanted,any thing to get him peeing. the next day we put him in big boy pants and he only had a handful of accidents over the next few weeks. He had it completely figured out by 22 months.

Hi M.

I can relate to what you are going through. I am the mother of twin girls 2 yrs old who are potty training also. With twins we had to become creative. What I found helpful was the adjuster seat that fits on the toilet. They come in characters of all sorts, Dora, mickey mouse, spongebob, etc. One of the girls sit on the potty(we have a small bathroom) and the other on the spongebob potty seat that fits onto the toilet and it seems to work. They now have their preferences, one claims the character toilet seat as hers(she needs help to get up there) and the other claims the potty seat eventhough she lets her sister use it if she needs too. At first the girls looked at both strange until we sat them upon the seats. it has been 3 weeks now and whenever we say "do you have to go potty", they both take off running for the bathroom and genuinely go poo or pee. We don't buy diapers anymore because neither girl wants to wear them. We do still buy pullups for nighttime protection or visiting but mostly they stay dry. So just hang in there and it will work itself out. Also we do let them take a book or a toy in with them just so that they have something familiar to look at. In the morning when we are getting them ready for daycare as soon as the pullup comes off they take off for the potty and even says "Done Mommy" when they are finished. So just keep up the routine and they will catch on. Also we have little stickers for when the girls go potty so they even get rewards. One more thing: there is what we call the potty dance for going poo or pee. so make up yours and you will be surprised at the rewards that you will also get.

M. and Everett(Proud parents of 2 beautiful little girls)

Hi, I have a son who is 3 1/2 and also has a speech delay. He is not potty trained either. My daughter was potty trained by now so it is hard not to compare. I am strong believer that they will get it when they are ready. You are not a bad mom and if anyone is giving you a hard time then they have not walked in your shoes. I will give my son the time he needs. I will not force him on the potty or make him scared of the drama surrounding it. I have done what I think he can handle. For example, I Introduced him to the kiddie potty months ago and put stickers in the bathroom as a reward for even sitting on the potty. One time he went "poo" in the potty. And now he has been going pee. For those times he gets tons of praise and a marshmellow. This tells me he is getting it. I continue to allow him to run around with no pants on or underwear. Somedays he will make it to the potty somedays he won't. But the progress is happening without doing some drill camp type of potty training. The thing I would keep in mind is if they are developing speech skills at a different pace how can we expect them to be potty trained just like other kids? Remember every child is different and trying to force it will only make you and your children on edge. Good luck and know you are not alone.

I just wanted to let you know that I felt the same way!! My son is finally potty trained (3 months before he turned 4) I finally stopped trying after we went in for a check up and our dr laughed at me for all the things I had tried for months to get my son to go on the toilet!! I worked with him for a year and nothing worked so I gave up!! Then one day I took him to Target to pick out some new underwear and I bought him a toy that he wanted. Everytime he went on the toilet he got his toy, everytime he had an accident I took it away. The next day he was potty trained, telling me when he had to go. No more sitting him there and waiting. He had only one poop accident 2 days later and we have been accident free for 3 months now! Our kids like to play us. They will go when they are good and ready!!!

Don't feel like a bad mom or feel pressured by others to have them trained. It sounds like you have your hands full. Plus, this is a very common problem. I think people just don't like to admit it so we don't always hear about it! Both of my boys were right around their 4th birthday before they were completely potty trained (during the day). We actually sought advice from a child therapist for our oldest child and were told to be positive, but to back off and not pressure him. Sometimes the more you push it the more they resist. Just be positive, offer them opportunities to use the potty and be patient. We read potty books and talked about using the potty. Something that was strange, but helpful for our son who has a very analytical mind, was to talk about the wastewater treatment plant and what happened to things after we flushed. We even read a Magic School Bus book about the treatment plant. Good luck!