Potty Refusal

Stop giving her the option? Don't suggest, tell her to go and that she can't come back to play until she goes. The little body should have something every 30 mins to an hour or two (at the most) if it's being properly hydrated. Make her go and try every 30.

It worked for my daughter and still does and she's 7. We'll be getting ready to go out and I'll ask her if she needs to go and she'll say "Nah, I don't have to.", then I tell her "Go just in case." and wouldn't you know, she'll go. Little goober.

They don't like going because it goes in the way of the fun. Sometimes you just have to make them.

My opinion (unless there is a developmental delay) is she is way too old to not be potty trained! It's a power struggle. Make her clean herself up after every accident that really works and make sure you tell her it would be quicker and easier to just use the potty. If it were me I would put her in undies and tell her you are a big girl now and big girls use the potty, and if you want to do big girl things you have to use the potty. My kids under stood this at almost three so surely she old enough. Don't be afraid to take her out in undies(carry paper towels and a small pack of Clorox wipes) and tell her if you potty on the floor we will have to leave. I would tell this to my kids unless of course they would have an accident then it was no biggie. Not an accident is refusal to use the potty or not even trying meaning we went home. Just to add if she throws a tantrum I would send her to her room and tell her she can come out when she is done.

what are the consequences when she doesn't use the potty? I'm not talking about punishments... I'm talking about does she clean up (change clothes, wipe up mess, takes time away from play etc)

I've never understood charts and stars and rewards for the potty. It's developmental. You didn't use a reward chart or punishment when she learned to walk, right? This is the same thing. She is physically capable of going potty in the potty, right? And (I assume) she is mentally capable (no developmental delays etc). So that means this is emotional.

When you "suggest" she go to the potty...... how does that work? Are you giving her a choice? This, to me, is like buckling the seat belt. It's something that you just do. No choice. "time to potty". Firm. If a tantrum - handle the same way you would for anything else and if it results in her going pee in her pants, then she cleans up - herself, the floor etc. Then explain to her that she missed out on whatever because she has to clean up.

My older son, now 7, didn't potty train completely until just before his 4th birthday. We've found, recently, that he's delayed in some other areas, like fine motor skills, although he seems to be catching up to his age. That year was hard for me with a second pregnancy, vacations, and illnesses. I think what helped was him being around an older cousin who showed him how to potty like a big boy.

This past year, we took him to a pediatric gastroenterologist for stomach issues. It was kind of refreshing to hear from her that she's never worried a child isn't potty trained until four years old. She said that as a society we stress potty training earlier due to convenience or some weird idea that that's the norm. Really, it's about whether the child is developmentally ready. I know that's tough to hear. It could be a power struggle, or it could be that your daughter isn't physically or mentally ready for it, yet. My younger son is almost 3, and I haven't started with him, yet. He's just not ready at home. He'll have to wear Pull-ups at school, though, so that may encourage him after a while. Good luck!

Sounds like a power struggle.

Why don't you try training your son? I started with my kids at 15 months and they were done by 21 months. Ignore your daughter and introduce a potty to your son. Get the book "early start potty training" out of the library. 5-10 minutes a day, and it works with no struggle, before they hit true refusal age.

Updated

Sounds like a power struggle.

Why don't you try training your son? I started with my kids at 15 months and they were done by 21 months. Ignore your daughter and introduce a potty to your son. Get the book "early start potty training" out of the library. 5-10 minutes a day, and it works with no struggle, before they hit true refusal age.

Power struggle. Pretty common to not want to stop playing to go pee. Do you make her clean it up? That's known to be effective.
You could put her back into a pull up.

You could find her currency. We can't do _____because that's only for big girls who go potty. 1 week without accidents and we can do _____, two weeks ______, but it takes a month without accidents to do your favorite.

We gave the kids 1 jelly bean for pee and 2 for pooh. It worked. Sometimes we did an M&M instead of a jelly bean but the tiniest reward really works.

I am going to suggest something here that I would NEVER ever suggest. BUT...what if you acted like you were starting the 17 month old in potty training.

What if you sat him on the potty and made a big deal out of it if he even tinkled a tiny little drop. If he's getting lots of attention with diaper changing maybe if he started getting all the attention for sitting on the potty she'd want to go.

I know....he's way way way too young to even consider it. He's a boy and they really aren't ready until they're closer to 3 but just for show, if he gets an M&M or a single jelly bean for even just trying and sitting there she might decide to kick it in gear and stop wetting herself and go when it's time.

If she doesn't then the pediatrician needs to check her for bladder issues, sugar in her urine, other stuff too. She might have a medical issue that's not been diagnosed but try other stuff first.