Thanks Moms. I deleted the question, not because I do not like the answers, but to try and protect my privacy. I really appreciate your ideas here. I have talked to the administrators. I will directly contact the police. The problem is that he has only made threats and they are not specific enought to warrant action. No one seems to be able to tell when when a threat constitutes a situation where actual action can be put in place. I do thank you very much for your ideas here.
If someone makes threats, that's enough to call the police. Threats CAN be enough to warrant action, although maybe not by the terms of a university. So take it out of their hands and call the police directly.
I find a lot of the answers interesting. It is like people who have not been threatened just want or need to believe the police will do something. They don't, the rights of the people who are threatening and intimidating trump the rights of the victim.
For me it is my ex husband. I have been told by doctors, police, pretty much everyone who has reported him that I need to accept that until he kills or seriously hurts someone they will not do a thing.
I know a lot of people in the same situation so I think this is more common than people believe. I know he has the potential to snap but I keep my sanity by thinking if there are that many whack jobs out there and so few snap, chances are good we will go through life never harmed. It isn't fair but no one seems to want to change the laws.
If it was as easy as quitting a job to get away from my ex I would quit without a second thought.
Acts of violence caused by mentally unstable people can happen anywhere, not just in schools. Malls, restaurants, movie theaters, political demonstrations and just about any public/work environment (we had a guy walk in and shoot up a hair salon in a very nice neighborhood not too long ago, because his wife, who worked there, was leaving him.)
So sure, as a mom I will always worry about my kids, even when they are adult college students or employees of a company.
But the law is a tricky thing. What if a coworker thought YOU were unstable, and convinced a few others to file reports? We can't go around suspending and firing people without cause. Obviously these incidents are tragic, but thank God millions of people get up and go to work and school every day without suffering violence in any way, shape or form.
Well, according to Wayne LaPierre, you will soon find yourself armed or at the least, protected in your school by a "good guy with a gun." <eye roll>
But right now, if I were teaching at a college level with a known potentially violent student, I might quit my job.
No, I wouldn't like it if my college aged student was in that situation.
I would also remember that an episode of tragic violence is small, statistically speaking.
I hope you're not in this particular dilemma.
ETA: If you are being threatened, you need to report it to the police. The REAL police, not the campus police. This is real life, not high school. You need to put your safety first. Maybe TALK to a police officer for advice on your next move?
The thing is this:
Schools... are not "Police."
They do not have the same powers nor ability.
IF your child, who is a student, TELLS you that there is violent behavior in their midst, then telling the Police, versus a school administrator. And, filing a POLICE report, with the Police. Not the school.
Schools, cannot enforce laws nor make restraining orders or arrests etc.
ie: in middle school, a friend's daughter was being harassed and bullied....in a very physical and threatening manner. The school only did what they could do. Which is, talking to the Bully, getting detention, telling the parents etc. BUT... they are not social workers, and they are not, Police. SO... the parents contacted the POLICE... and filed a POLICE REPORT, against the Bully. And yes, NOW the matter was taken care of. And that Bully now has a Police record.
If a person feels in danger... then, the person can file a Police report contacting, the Police. This also then serves to create a documentation and paper trail OF it and for the protection of the "victim." AND get a retraining order.
Yes, there are privacy laws. Certainly. Mental Health professionals... cannot help or cure someone... if that person does NOT go to, a Mental Health Professional themselves.
When I was in High School... I was being harassed/threatened and with physical harm... by another Girl. Talking to the school and family did nothing. I then DOCUMENTED everything, recorded the phone calls and kept all the threatening notes she sent to me. I THEN, also told my parents, and with them, I filed a Police Report against the girl. And got a Restraining Order. And only then, did it stop.
I would contact the College administration and the City Police.Let both of these groups know you have contacted the other, so they can work together, I would also make a statement and make sure it is on file with a n attorney.
You have a right to be safe at your work place.
So does the rest of the community.
Winter break could be a good time for them to investigate, maybe this way this student will not be allowed to return to campus.
Wow, tough question.
No, I wouldn't want my kid in a class with someone like that, but I don't know the solution. Not every weird loner person ends up going on a rampage.
Quit your job? Only you can answer that one. Quitting your job is a pretty momentous decision, if it's based on thinking someone is "potentially" violent. We can't protect ourselves from everything. Planes crash, tree limbs fall on people, drunk drivers hit us, freak accidents happen. We have to continue to live our lives.
I hope you're not facing something like this -- I can't make the decision for you. Good luck.
p.s. -- My husband took a college class not long ago in which one of the students got threatening - he was escorted out of the class and I think he was kicked out of the college. He never came back.
I am pretty sure something can be done!!! If he's making threats you can have him arrested and held. I would talk to the administration seriously to see what can be done and if they wont go to law enforcement.
We need intelligent gun control - like it should be as hard as getting a drivers license (learning, testing, proof that you can keep it responsibly, etc.). Even my gun owning friends think this makes sense.
We need better mental health care and ways to get people help even if they don't "want" it. Because maybe, if they had the care, they would then want it (like bipolar people who feel normal when their medication works). I don't know if there's another country that has a mental health model we could investigate, but we need one that helps integrate those people who can be mainstreamed so they can do it successfully. We need one that helps the ones who cannot into care so they don't harm themselves and others.
I wish I had answers.
