R.C.
Hi D.~
I had a tubal done the day after having #3. I too had very minimal help when I got home, and I had a lot of pain for the first week, maybe a little longer. I choose to go the tubal path instead of Essure, because with Essure, you start off by getting the Depo shot, then getting Essure put in at 6 weeks. If I remember correctly, there was another follow up a month or two later, to make sure it was in place correctly. With the tubal, it was all finished by the time I left the hospital. As for scarring, I have a 1/2" scar in my belly button, which I couldn't even see for the first 10 months.
I really recommend if you get a tubal, to do whatever you can to take it easy and rest that first week, or it makes the whole recovery that much harder. I've been told by some women who had it easy the first couple weeks didn't experience much for pain at all.
Good Luck with #4- I feel for you having all those boys under one roof!