I am currently 30 weeks along with our 4th son. We are done. There is no hesitation there on either my or my husband’s part. That being said, we are having the discussion as to whether to get my tube tied or for him to have a vasectomy.
A little more than 1 year ago, I had an ectopic pregnancy while I had a Mirena IUD. That resulted in an emergency surgery (I had NO idea that I was pregnant), and a painful 2 week recovery. I lost one of my tubes.
We are debating as to what would be the best option for our family. We spoke with my OB at my last appointment and he said that if I wanted, he would tie my other tube while I am in the hospital recovering from the birth of #4. He also said that my hubby could easily get a vasectomy.
What is the better choice? Part of me says that since I’ll already be recovering from childbirth (we are anticipating another vaginal birth – I’ve never had a C-Section), that I should just have my Dr. do the surgery. Another part of me says that my last surgery where they removed a portion of my tube was quite painful and I don’t want to have to deal with that along with a newborn (and 3 older boys to take care of).
Suggestions? Ideas? I’m terrified of getting another IUD and have ruled out any other types of birth control. Thanks for your help!
By the way, someone PLEASE stop telling me to try for a girl. We’ve tried 4 times! Plus, I’m THRILLED to be the mother to all of these great little boys. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
First of all, thanks so much for all of the advice. This is an issue that my hubby and I have spent a great deal of time talking and researching. After contacting our insurance to determine exactly what they will cover, we have decided that I will have tubal Ligation while in the hospital. I have discussed with my OB and he has eased our minds as far as recovery go. It meant a lot to me that my hubby was willing to have a vasectomy (previously he was adament that he would never), but after weighing all of the pros & cons for our situation, I'll be getting the surgery.
Thanks again everyone!
A few months down the road..... I had the tubal ligation within 1 hour after my son being born. The surgery was a breeze. Recovery was a bit harder than my other kids, but not too bad. I wore a Belly Bandit which dramatically decreased my discomfort. It helped give so much support for my stomach area. I was completely healed within about 1-2 weeks and other than walking a bit slower, my recovery wasn't bad at all!
Vasectomy - cheaper, faster, less painful, quicker recovery. It's a no brainer! My awesome hubby had one about 6 years ago and I've been thanking him ever since. (wink wink) Even he admitted it wasn't too bad. We had sex the same night! (although you're really not supposed to!)
Best of luck to you for a quick and painless delivery!
Vasectomy all the way! It's much cheaper and the recovery is faster. Also, after delivering 3 babies, I thought it was time my husband shared in the pain! :)
Without a c-section, there is NO WAY I would do a tubal. And even with a c-section I probably wouldn't do it. I know a lot of women who had issues after tubals (via c-section or on their own). Don't know any guys who have had issues after getting snipped. IMO, it's a simple outpatient procedure for them and it's time they took one for the team. A tubal is way more involved and has a longer downtime. Hasn't your body done enough for your family? :) Send in your DH for a quick snip and then you can have carefree sex for the rest of your life.
Little boys are the greatest! Congratulations. I have one son and one daughter and although I adore my daughter, I had no idea how much I would love my son. Little boys are awesome.
That said, I think your husband should get a vasectomy. Yes, you're already going to give birth so what's some holes poked in your belly. It's a little more than that. And, you'll have a newborn to carry and nurse and care for.
My friends husbands all got vasectomies and it was a breeze. They did it on Friday and were back to work on Monday. It in no way affects their ability to perform, in fact, they all say that they enjoy sex more than ever not having to worry about pregnancy.
I can understand a man being leary about it, but in comparison, they've cut their finger working on a bicylce chain worse than the vasectomy.
You need all your strength to care for new baby not to mention 3 other little boys. You husband can man up and have a simple procedure that will make the rest of your lives cake in the reproductive department.
I only say that because of all the men I know who did it to spare their wives and they have no regrets.
Just my opinion.
If you're dead set on not having any more kids, I say do both :)
I had my tubes tied during my 4th c section delivery almost 1.5 years ago. I'm super glad I did, but a part of me still really wants my hubby to get the vasectomy too. We've always joked that it only takes him being on the other side of the bed for me to get pregnant, lol.
Congratulations! I can't speak to the ligation procedure but my husband had a vasectomy and it was pretty painless (acc. to him) and the recovery was just a few days of him laying on the couch, which didn't take much convincing on his part! lol Best of luck to you both.
I had a tubal, but it was a scheduled c-section. My husband refused a vasectomy due to the research showing a correlation with early onset senility in men with a genetic predisposition. That was enough for him to opt out.
Vasectomy, definitely. It's a fairly simple out-patient procedure. Pretty much just a little snip, snip and he's done. Best wishes.
I have heard and watched ... it is much easier for a man to get the vasectomy! If he is willing then go that direction. The recovery is quicker and less invasive. Congratulations on your 4th boy and I wish you and your family well!
LOL - I only have two (girls) and I knew I was done so I opted for a TL and a schedule C-section. My first was an emergency c-section and it was horrible. I wanted to do VBAC but knew financially we couldn't afford another child and I might as well get both at once since insurance will pay for TL along with only having one deductible and the recovery time is the same. It was so easy and no addition recovery time. In fact, I was ready to exercise after the first week!
Emergency surgery IMO is much harder on you than planned. It took 15 minutes to have the baby and another 20 to tie my tubes and no irregular pain. I'm 4.5 months postpartum and feel great... well more tired but that has nothing to do with the surgery =)
Sure your husband can do the office visit, but frankly my SO hates doctors/hospitals and since I knew I was going in anyhow...
I had a tubal after the birth of my 2nd son 7wks ago. I had a vaginal delivery so they did the tubal about a day later. It was only about a week long recovery. The surgical pain only lasted a few days, the incision itself (which is in my belly button) lasted a little longer. I only took Percocet for pain for the first 2 days. It wasn't bad at all. I had to get a spinal for the surgery. My delivery was so quick I didn't have time for an epidural - if I had they would have left the epidural catheter in (no medication) overnight then used that for the surgery. My hubby was against a vasectomy and my birth control options are limited due to a clotting disorder. And I know we're done too after 2 boys - didn't care to try for a girl either - I love my boys!
BTW, my OB used clamps to clamp them off. She said that they don't cut & tie them anymore (atleast not there) because there is a higher risk of the tie coming undone causing bleeding.
And I'm surpised you don't have any responses about post tubal ligation syndrome - I posted a similar question and got ALOT of responses about that. In the end me, hubby, and OB decided it was best for me to get the tubal done.
Good luck and congrats on another baby boy!
VASECTOMY!!! His is an in and out procedure, pain is very minimal, no core muscle structures will be breached, no having to be put under anesthesia - it's a local anesthesia, and healing time is amazingly short compared to when you have major abdominal surgery for a tubal.
Congrats Mommy of 4! You've done enough if your hubby is up for a simple procedure let him do it! My husband and many friends have had it done. Easy out day procedure a day or two of rest and a frozen bag of peas and he'll be fine. It's been in my experience that a lot more men in our circle of friends and family opted for it which help make our decision easy. Good Luck!!
PS. By the way we have 3 and that's probably because at 2 we kept putting off the surgery. Also the situation with many friends. Make sure, if your sure your done make his appointment so there is no room for an oops!
You'll be going through enough recovering from childbirth- go with the Vasectomy!
For me a tubal was simple and easy.
Have you considered Essure?
SUPER easy recovery! I'm soooo glad I went that route.
My daughter got pregnant with her oldest son by a guy who had had a vasectomy. He ended up having 3 vasectomies all together. I swear this is true. His mother paid for them and she went to the last 2 because she thought he lied about having the first one done when my daughter got pregnant. After the second one another girl got pregnant and the DNA test proved it was his, so he had the 3rd one. He hasn't had anymore women claiming to be pregnant since.
If your tubes are cut and tied you would have a much harder time even if it didn't take, another ectopic would be very hard on you. But you might try the Essure procedure instead of cutting and tying. The doc inserts a spiral insert into the tube that is coated with a growth medication. The tissue grows and fills in the tube providing a permanent blockage. It can be tested in the office by the doc simply injecting dye in the tube and seeing how far it goes up. My BFF had this done and said she didn't have any pain. She did have some mild cramping, like a mild period. She had it done in the morning and went to eat Sushi with her husband that afternoon. She says she is really happy with the results and feels very secure that she won't have an unwanted pregnancy.
I think having it done while you are already down from having the baby would be the ideal situation. You really won't notice any additional pain. Having an ectopic pregnancy is very traumatic for the tube, it stretches it out, it gets very inflamed, it is sometimes ruptured, all those things are very painful and that pain is more than if the tube is just snipped.
One option you don't mention, that I'm considering when I know I'm done having kids, is Essure. Little coils are inserted into your tubes and scar tissue builds up preventing eggs from making it down to the uterus. From what I've read, it's an outpatient procedure and has no real recovery time. You can read more at http://www.essure.com/. Good luck.
Hi J., any advice you get on this is going to be personal opinions, this is strictly betweem you and your husband. I do agree with you about the IUD, one of my daycare parents age 19 got pregnant because her IUD slipped, and it was just inches away from the fetus, the doector told her there would be no way to remove it without abording the baby, well she lost the baby. I've never had my tubes tied nor did my husband have anything done we planned 3 children after our third was born, my husband did the pull out method, and it worked like a charm, I'm 54 now and can not have anymore children, but i say this to say, no dangerous birth controls and no surgery's for us that was best and it worked,you and your husband can only decide for the two of you. Also tubes come untied, my mom had 2 baby's after having her tubes tied twice, burning them can't be reversed, personally for me I would do neither. J.
First of all, congrats on #4! How exciting!
Now on to your question... My husband and I are struggling with a similar issue. Vasectomy or tubal. I have a life-threatening condition that only shows up when I'm pregnant so it would not be safe for us to have more children. I think I'm pretty sure I want a tubal for one reason: I want to completely remove the temptation to get baby fever and try again and think maybe the next pregnancy will be different. I want to limit my options in a really permanent way if that makes sense. (BTW, I also had a surprise ectopic a few years ago with the Paraguard IUD. I loved my IUD, and I got a new one, but I can TOTALLY understand your hesitation for getting another one.)
So with that in mind, I talked to my doctor about it. If I have to have a c/s, which is extremely unlikely since childbirth itself is actually really easy for me, I will sign consent to go ahead and get it done then. If not, she said, it's just too much to deal with one surgery on top of having a brand new baby, and I can definitely see that is the case.
With that in mind, I plan to wait a few months and then have the Essure procedure done. I believe it was 12 weeks post-partum, but I can't remember exactly when she said they do that. It's completely hormone-free (I can't do hormones at all for health reasons) and she said it's even more effective than a traditional tube tie. I also understand it to not require general anesthesia. It's a little less surgical in that they don't cut you open to do it.
So that's what I plan to do. What I would absolutely NOT do it right after giving birth. You'll have enough to deal with then!
We opted for tubal if I ended up with a c-section (no plans for one, in case of emergency) and not add it to a vaginal birth. The recovery and hospital stay is longer with a c-section and with two kids, let alone four, I would want the faster, easier recovery. I had the sterilization papers signed before delivery, brought a copy with me and told the hospital staff when we checked in. Since a c-section was only going to happen if necessary, the staff attending to me that day needed to know.
We ended up with a vaginal birth and we both are offering to have our procedures done. I think I'll take my husband up on his offer, V all the way!
I would say the big V -- my mom had so many complications after her tubal (done when she had a c with my sister) that she ended up with a hyster at 29 :( hormone replacement therapy, etc. She ended up growing ovarian cysts the size of oranges after the tubal (never had a problem with them before) and they would rupture and cause her havoc in her internal cavity (rupture her small bowl, part of her intestine). Two summers in a row she had surgeries to clean up those messes and then the next summer a hyster. Just by seeing that, I would NEVER get a tubal. Might be great for some people but definitely not for all. I haven't heard of any similar horror stories from those who went through the vasectomy procedure (my brother in laws have done it).
Since you're not having a c-section, have your husband get the vasectomy. It's easier on him than you. That, plus you went through the work of carrying and birthing four children. He can suffer a little. :) I am having my tubes tied in June, but it's a planned c-section so the doctor will already be in there. Otherwise, my husband has no issues getting his done.
IF you have to have a C-section a tubal is easier. BUT a vasectomy is truly the lesser of the evils.
I told my doctor, just after 2, that IF he had to do a c-section go a little further for the tubal. But that one, really #3 since I miscarried in between, was soooo easy, my husband had the tubal and didn't whine!
