My daughter's friend is quoting a statistic that 90% of people marry their 7-12th grade sweetheart. I find this number too high so I said I'd ask all of you to see what the (unscientific) national trend is...
While I've taught my daughter not to believe everything she reads on the internet, I was discouraged to hear her friend was so gullible. On the Brightside, it really made for an interesting conversation between us, and I enjoyed sharing some of your stories with her. All in all it's been a fun exercise! Thank you ladies for sharing :-)
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W.W.
answers from
Washington DC
on
nope. first marriage was NOT high school sweetheart.
My marriage now? Nope. Didn't even know he existed until I was 28.
I married my high school sweetheart and we regularly hang out with another couple who met in high school and married as well. Even so, I question that statistic. :)
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V.B.
answers from
Jacksonville
on
I married my best friend's high school sweetheart. :P
So, no.
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D..
answers from
Miami
on
Your daughter's friend is silly.
That being said, I married my highschool sweetheart.
But, your daughter's friend is silly.
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D.B.
answers from
Boston
on
No I didn't.
And your response to your daughter is to teach her to question absolute statements like this, and ask her friend to provide OBJECTIVE and VERIFIABLE proof of this. That means a cited study, not a blog somewhere (and 3 other blogs that cite the first blog). This is part of helping your child to develop critical thinking skills, to question things that are such absolutes. That's a great lesson for an election year especially!
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D.D.
answers from
Boston
on
So thanks to wild woman we know that your daughter's friend has ADD and can't focus to read past the first paragraph of an article. Hysterical.
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J.S.
answers from
St. Louis
on
No, and actually no one I know did as well. In my older kid's high school only about 5% of the kids even dated in high school so there is just no way.
Oh here ya go, snopes had a go at it. And the answer is no where near.
Oh and FYI I met my first husband in college and I picked up my current, total love of my life, at a bar.
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K.M.
answers from
Chicago
on
Nope. Married my law school sweetheart. I cannot even imagine the person I was back in 12th grade having any idea who was the right person to marry. I hadn't yet learned so many important life lessons that gave me the ability to choose a proper mate.
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E.T.
answers from
Rochester
on
No way! I married my early 30s sweetheart. Wouldn't trade my single years for anything.
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J.B.
answers from
Boston
on
LOL no. What a ridiculous stat.
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C.N.
answers from
Baton Rouge
on
No, thank whatever gods may be!
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T.S.
answers from
San Francisco
on
No and I know of no one who did. Most married people I know met in college or at work.
I would ask her exactly where she got this number? When people (even, maybe ESPECIALLY kids) try to pass off random information as fact they should be able to back it up with credible evidence.
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R..
answers from
San Antonio
on
No , we met in college. Actually my last semester....we were 21 and 22 when we met. Got married at 23 and 24.
No way would I still be together with any guy I dated in high school.
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J.☯.
answers from
Springfield
on
Seriously? I don't even think that 90% of high school students have sweethearts!
What a way to make an awful lot of high school students feel like losers!
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S.T.
answers from
Washington DC
on
yeah, i think that poll is WAY off.
no. i had more boyfriends than i can count or remember between my HS sweetheart and my husband.
my younger is on year 9 with his first girlfriend. they're now in their mid-20s, neither has ever dated anyone else. they graduate college this year and will probably get married some time in the next couple of years. but in our (fairly large) circle of friends and acquaintances they are very, very unusual. i can't think of any other kids who haven't dated around some.
khairete
S.
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N.Z.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
Nope. I met my husband in grad school.
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Z.B.
answers from
Toledo
on
A lot of people don't even really start dating until after high school. I didn't have my first real relationship until I was in college.
It's sad that some kids feel so much pressure to date in high school. Some really aren't ready and some just don't fit the mold.
Lots of good things happen after high school.
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A.G.
answers from
Dallas
on
No. I met my husband when I was 21 and he was 28. We've been happily married for almost 22 years (next month).
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R.B.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Ultimately, yes.
So far, this poll has it at 4 out of 20. So 20%.
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T.F.
answers from
Dallas
on
No. We met after college (1986) and through a mutual friend in NC. Married in (1988).
I'm from MS and he was from PA. (Pittsburgh!)
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A.L.
answers from
Atlanta
on
That statistic sounds completely wrong. I say ditto to what Diane B said (take this opportunity to teach your daughter about determining whether information is reliable, and that she can ask people to show her where they got their information).
To answer your question... In jr high and high school, I hadn't even been on the same continent as my husband. So no, we were not sweethearts in high school :).
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D.N.
answers from
Chicago
on
My parents met when my mom was a senior in HS so not sure if that would count. My dad had dropped out to help take care of the family. I met my husband 2 months after I graduated HS. I only know one couple that were high school sweethearts. I think that number is way too high.
Updated
My parents met when my mom was a senior in HS so not sure if that would count. My dad had dropped out to help take care of the family. I met my husband 2 months after I graduated HS. I only know one couple that were high school sweethearts. I think that number is way too high.
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K.M.
answers from
Fayetteville
on
I did. But, I don't think that statistic is correct. I met my husband in high school and we went to colleges in 2 different states. He went to West Point and they have a "2% club"--only 2% of the cadets started and finished West Point with the same girlfriend/boyfriend.
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R.B.
answers from
Dallas
on
Is she consulting the stat book from 1930?
No. I'd guess maybe 40-60% meet in college
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J.C.
answers from
Philadelphia
on
Nope...met my husband in a bar when I was 23.
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E.B.
answers from
Honolulu
on
No. I began dating my first boyfriend in about 10th grade, broke up amicably after a few months, dated a few guys, but nothing serious.
As for my husband, we didn't meet until college and we did not date in college at all. We were simply acquaintances with some friends in common. I barely gave him a thought. It wasn't until a year after graduation that we reconnected. A friend told me she heard from him, and he had just joined the Navy, and told me that he was kind of lonely in Pensacola. I dropped him a post card in the mail, he called, and we got married 7 months later! That was 32 years ago. Still married!
And when I was a freshman in college, a girl who lived on our floor, who was also a freshman, had come to the school with her fiance. They began dating, well, hanging out together, at age 11, and as soon as their parents allowed group dates, they went on those and then after awhile they began a very exclusive romantic relationship. They were now 19, and had never kissed anyone else, never gone on a date without anyone else, and were inseparable - signed up for the same classes, they lived and breathed for each other. They sat together in the lobby of our dorm in the evenings, huddled, just holding each other and dreaming of the future, or they walked around in a daze, with eyes only for each other.
Before the first term was over, they had broken up, weren't speaking to each other, and were both dating other people. They never got back together.
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M.D.
answers from
Washington DC
on
I'm a military brat - so I don't talk to a lot of people from those years. I met my husband when I was 19.
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C.T.
answers from
Santa Fe
on
Good for you for taking this poll :) My husband and I met right after college and we moved to Alaska and went to graduate school together....both studying different areas of science. We got married at age 29. If I looked at my life experience I would say most people marry the person they meet in their late 20s. But all our friends were working on PhDs and traveling and doing research and following their passions and everyone got married when they were finished with their degrees and starting careers.
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M.D.
answers from
Pittsburgh
on
no
nor did my parents
nor did any of my siblings
So, that's 0 out of 10 in my immediate family.
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S.L.
answers from
Savannah
on
I met my husband when I was 21 & him 30. So nope!
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C.W.
answers from
Santa Barbara
on
Definitely not a high school sweetheart ! I married my college sweetheart seven years after we met.
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M.L.
answers from
Cleveland
on
We met in college, didn't really have a sweetheart in highschool. now i feel like a looser.
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K.O.
answers from
Atlanta
on
No, I married a late college boyfriend.
That is an extremely old statistic - before most people went to college and definitely before online. I believe the statistic is now 14% of married couples met in school (this includes high school, college and grad school) - and I'd bet most of those are not from a high school connection, but more likely from college.
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M.J.
answers from
Sacramento
on
No, I didn't meet my husband until well after college, when I was 29.
The guy I dated in high school ended up coming out as gay many years later. Glad that didn't work out! :)
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K.F.
answers from
New York
on
No, NO, NOOOO
A thousand times no.
We did date briefly in our mid twenties. I was his one but he wasn't mine. I had to cut him loose. I would have run over him easily and completely. He offered no push back to my pushy ways. He wasn't a good match for me and he thought I was a perfect match for him which was even scarier to me that he knew me so little.
The man I married knows me so well and isn't intimidated by me and doesn't let me punk him out. LOL. I love that about my husband and it is one of the many reasons I married him. He really gets the authentic me (the good, the bad and the super ugly).
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S.E.
answers from
Wichita Falls
on
No, we met in college.
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H.W.
answers from
Portland
on
I had no 'sweethearts' at that age. So, no. I married my Met Him When I Was 30 sweetheart.
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B.C.
answers from
Norfolk
on
Yes.
I was in 12th grade when I met my future husband - he was in 9th grade.
I was 17 and he was 14 - we married 10 years later - after we both finished college (we went to different schools) and started our careers.
That being said, I can't think of anyone else I know that married someone they went to school with.
Most met while they were in college or working.
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M.M.
answers from
Boston
on
nope...
Met hubby when I was 27, almost 28
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K.C.
answers from
Anchorage
on
No. I met my husband about a year after college, I was in my 20's. I do know a few people who did marry their HS sweethearts though. Maybe 3 people that I can think of at the moment.
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C.B.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Nope. Didn't even know my hubby when I was in school
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M.G.
answers from
Portland
on
No. I know of three couples who did. And they are still together.
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S.J.
answers from
Des Moines
on
I married a guy who went to my jr. high school, but it was a big school and we didn't know each other. We met in our 30's and realized we grew up within a mile of each other and went to the same school.
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S.R.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
Nope, not me.
But my parents are kinder sweethearts and one of my sister is married to her 9th grade boyfriend.
I have 4 other sisters not married to HS sweethearts, so my own scientific studies show it's more like 16%
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M.S.
answers from
Washington DC
on
No but I know 4 couples that did meet in HS, and probably more if I thought about it, but definitely not 90%…
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S.H.
answers from
Santa Barbara
on
I would think 10% are married to their HS sweetheart (not the other way around). Maybe the study was from a long time ago in a very small town. I know a few more who are married to their college sweetheart.
My answer is no. My parents would be no and my in-laws are no. I have aunts who got married at age 18 because of being pregnant. I am not sure if they when to high school with these ex-husbands.
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S.G.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
I married my HS sweetheart and we have been together 27 years now. I can think of at least five other couples who are in the same boat. Come to think of it, a lot of my facebook friends post pictures of themselves and their significant others from way back in high school for "throw back Thursday".
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T.D.
answers from
Springfield
on
nope. married a college sweetheart then divorced him a year later. then found mr (always)right and 10 years and 2 kids later were still tgether
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D.T.
answers from
Muncie
on
Married some dude I met on-line. I wouldn't recommend it for everyone though, but we're closing in on our 10th anniversary, so it's worked for us.
A few girls I went to HS with married their Sweethearts and quite a few married boys from our school. However, our HS was a boarding school in Germany! I say if they were able to stay in that close contact with others from school, more power to them. Personally, I think it's weird. I can't think of those guys as "men", just the dorky boys they were. Since graduating in 2000 I've seen only two people from my HS and one of them I didn't even speak to, he had no clue I was in the same place he was and walked right past him.
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L.U.
answers from
Seattle
on
Nope.
I didn't even know he existed until I was 22. I met him through my friend.
My mother married her high school boyfriend. They are still married, 40 years later. My brother married his high school girlfriend. They have been married 11 years. My other three brothers met their wives in their 20's. (one online, one at a bar, and one in college) Guess which one is divorced? The one who met his wife at the bar.
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L.P.
answers from
Tyler
on
Nope, met mine in college.
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M.F.
answers from
Phoenix
on
No, thank goodness!
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K.A.
answers from
San Diego
on
I didn't meet my husband until I was out of high school. I was nearly 21 when I met him. One guy I dated in high school moved while we were dating and long distance didn't work. Another guy I dated in high school I'm still friends with, though not really close. I didn't date anyone at all in junior high (they call it middle school now). I only dated a few guys total in high school and only a couple were serious enough to be exclusive.
So I'm definitely in the 10% who didn't :)
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J.P.
answers from
Orlando
on
No, I didn't meet my husband until I was 34 and he grew up in the next state. Most of the married people I know were not HS sweethearts.
Nope, I met my husband in college. I only know of one couple from my high school who got married, and they got divorced after about 4 years.
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E.B.
answers from
Beaumont
on
Not me. Most of my friends married their college sweetheart.
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J.D.
answers from
Dayton
on
Yes, I did. We always say we grew up together and it's actually true.
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M.S.
answers from
Oklahoma City
on
I met my husband after college.
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J.C.
answers from
Anchorage
on
I did not, I was already in college when I met him, but he was in his senior year of high school so I guess he did. So we would be one in the no column and one in the yes, lol.
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J.M.
answers from
Boston
on
I am sure this is not true. Prob less than 1/4. I dated my HS sweetheart for 10 years and we have been married almost 15.
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L..
answers from
Seattle
on
Nope! Nor did my parents or my 2 brothers.
Where in the world does she get her info?
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K.C.
answers from
Denver
on
I married my college boyfriend...guess that doesn't count, though. I know a lot of married people, and I can't actually think of any who didn't meet in college or as adults. I think that statistic may be a bit high.
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L.!.
answers from
Santa Fe
on
2 of my brothers did and still married with their wifes.
They are in their early 50s now.
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N.B.
answers from
Oklahoma City
on
No. I would think that statistic would be closer to 7%-10%
One survey I read said most people meet through friends or online and hardly anyone marries their high school sweetheart. So your daughter's friend is way way way off.
All one needs to do is google this and they'll find substantial evidence stating that in fact most high school sweethearts grow up, grow apart as they become individuals outside of their high school role and don't even like or have anything in common with that child hood girlfriend/boyfriend.