Please Tell Me Your Opinions.

I really can't say that "similar grade level" was an issue for choosing friends.

There WERE the overachievers, popularity, cheerleaders, joiners, pep club, etc that I 'assumed' were making good grades--but who knows?

I think it was more of an issue of interests & activities, rather than grades. For me anyway.

I got mostly A's and was friends with A-C students. I respected and wanted to be like the other good students

I went to a prep school, so we were all pretty much on the same level, but I do recall being intimidated by girls socially, not academically. Girls who were not doing well academically typically weren't asked to return to the school the next year, so they may have felt this way.

I will say this, though, I do prefer to spend time with people who are similar to me with respect to education and cognitive skills. We have more common interests and experiences. I have a difficult time finding things to talk about with my husband's friend's wives who are not on the same academic level. Sorry to say it, but it's true.

I did not have an issue with the super smart kids. I was just your average student. I had friends in HS that were in advanced classes (an people thought they were just too snotty, but turns out they were just VERY shy) and ones that were also in remedial classes. So to answer your question, I would say I yes, it is wise to have friends that are of all levels.

One last note, I never chose my friends because of their grades or intelligence, I chose them because of their kindness and what they had in common with me.

Hope this helps!

I was the "A" student in a very small town (graduating class of 29). My friends were average students, but by the time I was finishing high school, I really had only one friend and we weren't close. I planned to go to college, they all planned to go to tech school in a different town. I would have liked to have more friends, but it is difficult as you get older and your life plans are so different. The only other "A" students were much more "popular" - in sports, etc. so I didn't fit in there, either.

Ah, high school, I wouldn't go back for any amount of money...

I actually got very good grades in high school - oh soooo long ago - with minimal studying. I was on the, wait for it, Debate Team - which was rather "geeky", and in the school choir.

But, I had a diverse circle of friends. Some shared debate and/or choir, some were athletes, a few in Drama, varied races, and some just sliding by barely passing. We had interests in common outside of grades and school and many of us still keep in touch.

I was not the best student in school - I remember those! LOL The girls who always made honor role, received the awards and teacher's accolades - I never felt intimidated by them - they, honestly, were very nice girls and friends also.

So, no, I didn't limit my friend ships or social interactions to student's with the same GPA as I had. I think the more types of people we get to know, the more we expand our horizons and increase our acceptance of others.

Good Luck and God Bless

In my school, typically the girls who got straight A's weren't "popular" bc they sometimes weren't as pretty, weren't cheerleaders etc and didn't have time to party as much. So I don't think there was any intimidation at all bc of their grades. I had several friends who were in lower classes, didn't do so well academically and maybe it was an issue for them but it never seemed like it. One of them is still my best friend. Sometimes kids become friends based on grades just bc they're in the same advanced classes together. I think it's like anything in life, a girl who gets straight A's and awards and brags about it all the time isn't a good friend candidate. Someone who gets all that but is fun, modest etc, of course should be a friend if possible. I know my friendships were based on who I had fun with and talking about boys. :)

In high school, I was a girl who performed well and took advanced classes. I don't think I was intimidating to people in my class. I had friend who were in some of my classes and friends who took the regular curriculum also. It didn't make much of a difference to me. In my school buidling, money was a bigger divider for people. Those students who came from affluent families were clumped together and fairly intimidating. Those who were living in poverty were grouped together. That's where I saw more influence.

I was upper middle of the academic road for most of school, but I had friends who were higher and lower than I was. In fact my BFF was very smart and always in advanced classes, we had one class together in 6 years. I didn't choose my friends based on their GPA. If your daughter has friends who are in advanced classes they can help her when she needs it, just like she can help can help others if she is the one in advanced classes. I don't recall any intimidation by girls that were better academically than me. Remind her that everyone is good at something.

Only the ones who were nasty acting. Hmmm. Wait a minute-that was most of them. Lol.
I hated H.S. and was something of an odd student. It was cool to be a flunkie w/ the ppl I wanted to be "in" w/...so I flunked. Then when that still didn't make me cool to them, I decided to apply myself. And started getting pretty good grades (except when I had bad math teachers-as that was where I struggled).

I guess I just wanted friends (went to 4 different H.S.'s)...I wasn't terribly picky. I had such a hodge podge of them.

So I guess I would answer: "not unless they were mean" and "no, it didn't matter that much".

Hope that helps!

Touchy topic...I was the girl that never studied and did well. My friends were not. I had no clue...they were my friends, and I would help them if they wanted, but I never talked about grades and stuff unless they asked.

It wasn't until well into college a few years later when my very best friend admitted she always hated and resented me...and was constantly competing with me. I had NO IDEA. OUCH!

Unfortunately, your poor daughter probably has this serious issue with it...and her friends could care less.

Tell your daughter that college is the great equalizer...that is where those of us that skated...now have to learn how to study. Those who were skinny grab the freshman 15 and hold it forever. Those who are popular and admired are just as scared and messed up as everyone else.

She may not like herself or something about herself...but welcome to high school...it's a jungle...and the ONLY way to survive is to stop competing, find your passion, and excel and feel good about yourself for yourself. It isn't so much about them, but about finding her true self, and liking herself...and that is a hard one that many of us struggle with forever.

No, I never felt that way.
I was just my own person.

I never felt, affected by what other kids were/were not doing.
Nor let it affect my own self-esteem.

My friends, were of all levels.
I had friends based on character/personality. Not grades.

I went to private and public high schools.

I was taught, to be my own person.

all the best,
Susan

I did very well in highschool, not straigt A's, but I did graduate in the top 10%. Two of my friends were very bright, one of them graduated her Junior year. Yes, I was slightly intimidated. Ocassionally I felt left out because they would talk about things that were over my head or the advanced classes they were taking, but they never meant to make me feel this way.

I also had another group of friends that were "B" students. I think we just accepted each others strengths and weaknesses.

Get her involved with kids who have similar interests, maybe she can join a sports team, or the drama club, a language club, FFA, FBLA.

I don't remember being intimidated by those girls, nor is my daughter now.

If your daughter is the one they are intimidated by then she needs to work on being helpful without being condescending, if she is intimidated she needs a new group of friends.
Hope I made sense.

First of all I went to a small school, graduated with 50 other kids. My best friends were smart and made me apply myself very hard. I never thought I was as smart as them, but they thought I was... There were a few that we expected to get straight A's, I was friends with them too. They were nice but they also got along with everyone. I mainly got A's but a few B's in there too. I wanted to get all A's, mainly because I had an older sister who was smart. My parents never put the pressure on me. However, the girl in our class, who I was friends with, who was our valedictorian had a very strict mother, and I remember her crying because she was afraid of disappointing her mother.

My older and one year younger sister were naturally smart as I call it, and I had to work hard. They were my intimidation, not anyone in my class.

I was one of those girls...well I was in all of the advanced classes and won awards, graduated in the top 10, etc....

I had friends all over the place. I was never really in a clique. I had girlfriends that took shop and struggled to get Cs, I had girlfriends that were a lot smarter than I was. I didn't find intelligence to be a huge factor in determining friendships at that age (now, I actually do). Back then, I just wanted to be around people that liked having fun and were interested in the same things I was. I was an athlete, a tomboy, and a cheerleader. So I didn't find it that hard to have common ground with other girls.

I was a very good student but no I did not get straight A's. I maintained a 3.5 GPA however I was not part of the popular crowd because I was not athletic or a cheerleader. I was not on honor roll, did not take all advanced courses. I had friends of all abilities. I was not intimidated by the girls that got the grades seeing that I was just as smart but rather irked by the fact that those higher level classes were clique-ish. In spite of me being in a few advanced classes I still did not fit in. I learned that it is best to be who you are and not let anyone else intimidate you because believe it or not they are often just the same as you are and perhaps even less than you are as a person. Character and personality means more than straight A's and being in advanced courses.

I def wasnt an A student in highschool.. I had a wide variety of friends. I think A students are probably involved in a lot more things than the "less gifted" students are. I think they make a lot of friends doing extra activities. My best friend (still too this day) always got straight A's. I was always a C student. We had a lot of other things in common though. I was pretty into my friends and socializing rather than academics :(. But I was never really friends with the goody goody girls who thought they were better than everyone because they were better academically. I think it all just depends on your attitude.
What is your daughters dilemma? Might help getting a clearer answer.