Please Tell Me This Is Just a Phase

When my son was 4 months old we sleep trained him using the method of Tracy Hogg "The Baby Whisperer". It only took 3 nights.

I truly believe that babies and children that are able to sooth themselves to sleep are much better sleepers than those who depend on someone else to do it.

The first thing that comes to mind is ear infection: aka laying flat causes his ear canals to fill with fluid causing a lot of pain, while being at an angle (like being held) allows for drainage.

Hi S. - I really liked Tracy Hogg's method too. One thing my kids didnt like was cold sheets so we switched over to flannel in the crib. The recommendation that Tracy Hogg made that worked miracles was to hold them close to your body all the way down onto the mattress and to hold there a few seconds so as not to startle them. They dont like that "flying in space" feeling. Put one of your hands on top of his head and one on his back or belly until he relaxes then gently walk away. This helps them to feel warm and secure and feel like you are still holding them. My first was very sensitive and this helped him a lot when he was your son's age.

Your son is due to roll over soon - it's possible that movements in his sleep are startling him.

5 months is around the time my daughter (now 10 months old) stopped sleeping through the night. We only recently got her sleep to a point that is comfortable for the whole family.

It is certainly possible that he has a cold or something, but it is also possible he is just entering the next phase of development. Many books say the night waking and crying is related to the becoming more social and aware and wanting to be with you whenever he is awake. The books also say that we all wake up a little between sleep cycles and your baby simply doesn't yet know how to get back to sleep on his own.

In my home, we tried white noise, music, snugglies that smell like me, dark room, light room and other tricks, but really it was my husband's and my behavior that dictated how she returned to sleep.

As with all things parenting are plenty of different approaches to helping your family stay comfortable and rested and I they are not necessarily as black and white as 'cry it out' vs 'attachment parenting.' For not crying at all, we tried the book, the 'No Cry Sleep Solution' and read some Dr Sears - these just didn't work for us. We tried me sleeping in there with the baby, but I was uncomfortable and the baby and I were both up constantly. For a couple months it worked for me to have just two times a night I'd go to feed her, any other times she woke up, my husband would soothe her and yes there was some crying (we got this from Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy child).

I can tell you how we finally ditched the night wakings, but it involves some crying (took 3 nights, never crying more than 5-15 minutes, gentle soothing...), but maybe someone else can describe success with no crying.

Good luck and good sleep to you :)

I thought my DD had her "phases" too, but there always seemed to be a reason: ear infection, teething, diaper rash, beginning of cold, etc. Trust your instincts! I dont believe in the let them cry it out method either, and i allowed my husband to talk me into it one night, and after 2 hours of crying, I finally went in to soothe her, and she had a fever! It might be time to adjust his schedule, as I also believe the later you put them to bed, the harder bedtime is. If I thought her sleeping schedule was in jeopardy, I would sometimes just pat her back while she stayed in the crib. Sometimes even sitting on the floor with my hand between the bars just to hold her hand! Just do whatever works, and trust your instincts! We moms know our babies best! Good Luck!

The only way to break this is to let him cry. It usually takes a day or two and yes there is some noise but then there are many more months of healthy sleep. People try other things but I don't think they really work long term. Falling asleep by yourself and staying asleep and refalling asleep by yourself is a skill and a good one for a little one to learn. He is likely just learning that he can get you to hold him when he cries at this particular stage - so it is a good sign of developing brain - even if it is a little frustrating :) Good luck.

We also live in a home with shared walls. At 9 months I stopped the nighttime feedings. I knew this was going to be rough for a few nights. So, we went to both neighbors and apologized in advance and they both were very understanding. With both of my kids, letting them cry it out and learn to self soothe took only a few days. Yes it is heartbreaking, but in the end you are giving the child the ability to fall back asleep on his own which will help both of you in the future.

Also, have you tried playing music when he falls asleep? Both my kids used to fall asleep to classical music and I would go turn it off an hour later.
That might help him transition from falling asleep in your arms.

he is teething. he is in pain. are you nursing? he will want to nurse more as that motion relieves the pain. please dont leave him to cry. what is that telling him about how you are going to help him when he is in pain?

Hi there. There's a couple of things here that i think can helpl. First of all, he's going to bed too late. Research will say the later they go to bed, the more overtired they are and don't sleep as well. I'd say you'd have to move the bedtime up to 7:30pm or so. When I did that, my daughter slept 12 hours, which is about what they need at night and written all over parenting books and magazines. Second, most pediatricians will say this is the time to start sleep training. As hard as it is, you need to let him work it out. I know what you are saying because I had to go outside, go in the basement, work out, etc during my daughter's crying. However, warn your neighbors then. If it's early enough, then it won't disrupt them in the middle of the night. First night, expect about 45 min or more of crying, then it went to 30, then it went to 15, then 10 or 5, I just remember by the 4th-5th night, she slept by herself and then forever. But they do go thru phases, especially during teething so it's not perfect, but sticking to the routine is KEY! Good luck

Hi ,
Try putting on some soft music so when your child falls asleep and you leave the room, the sounds around him will remain the same. My children always slept best when they could here familiar sounds around them. If it got too quiet they would think they were missing out on something.I could put on some country music and they were out in no time....good luck,V

When things happen all of a sudden I tend to lean toward teething or some type of infection. If they are hurting they want to be held and comforted.

Just letting them cry is the proven tactic. Alert your neighbors with a note on their door or at the entrance that you are going to do this and it should work in one night. Then do it at nap times first, by bedtime at night he might already be down to a short whimper. Just lay him down and if he cries, let him cry for the time he normally naps, then get him up. Sometimes they have the endurance to cry a long time once or maybe twice, but they quickly learn how unpleasant and unrewarding it is, and they learn to just fall asleep. In the long run, he will cry less. Meantime. tell yourself that you are being overprotective and actually working against his best interests by not letting him cry it out. People number in the millions who were allowed to cry it out at age 5 mos and grew up to live normal lives. Warning, he will probably start the waking up thing after an episode of illness in which you tend to him through the night, and you will have to repeat the crying out, but it will never be as bad as the first time.

you're lucky...my 6 month old daughter still isn't sleeping. do you think he might be teething?? maybe double check with the doctor to see if anything is wrong with his ears?? that what the doctor thought with my daughter. good luck

Sometimes the house is too Quiet. We had a radio or a fan going to cover background sounds when you lay your child down then there is not a big difference in the noises. When you step away they dont hear you. With 5 kids each one was different and they must be treated as individuals. What works fo one may not work for another.

Updated

With kids, nearly everything is a phase.

it probably is just a phase but he might be teething!

Google "wonder week." It is a phase, it will pass, just hang in there.

Of course it is just a phase! My child's now 2.5 and I've just realized that not only were there all of those infant "phases" to go through, but actually it is a whole lifetime of non-stop phases, or at least maybe until they're 18. I personally let my daughter cry it out as much as I could, alternately when I could not bear to do that I gave her milk in a bottle/sippy cup. This was her comfort. However, most of the time what I would recommend you do is follow your baby's own advice, mixed with a healthy dose of your gut feeling. If your baby is sound asleep in your bed, let him sleep with you for a couple of weeks...by then the phase may be over and/or he might feel more secure and then you can move to a gradual cry it out to get him back to the crib. Of course, if you feel that is not safe for the baby or if you yourself cannot sleep and cannot function the next day because of that (THAT is also a safety issue!), then you need to spend a few sleepless nights with him in his room while he's in his crib, calming him and being his mommy. After a few nights, start to let him cry it out.

Good luck!