Please Remind Me That It Does Get Better....

Hi T., It's going to get better..... Just take a mintue and take a deep breath and relax.Brighter days are soon to come. Just do the best that you can and remember to stay humble, and everything will be ok.......

Soon he will be sleeping more and you can. I know its hard. I remember the days of no sleep. Now mine goes down at 8:30 and stays down all night. You can do it. You are a super mom!

T.,

You are doing everything you can. You are a good mother. You can do ANYTHING for 24 hours! So, just take it one day at a time. Sometimes you might have to take it one hour or one minute at a time.

I suggest you:

1. Sleep when your baby sleeps. You need rest.
2. Drink lots of water, avoid sugar, and eat as much food as you need.
3. Call friends.
4. Join a support group (call the hospital where you had the baby for a new mother's group, La Leche League, etc.
5. Get outside. Take a walk, sit on a blanket in the shade with your son, walk around the house, etc. Breathe fresh air and feel the sunshine. Even if it's just for ten minutes.
6. Make a list of everything you're grateful for. Time with your son, time without your son, naps, nature, God, etc.
7. Give up housework, laundry, etc. It will get done when it needs to get done. It's not that important. I promise.
8. Trust yourself. You have the wisdom of generations of women who have gone before you. You can do this. We're all cheering for you.
9. Did I mention take a nap?
10. Remember that you're only human. It's okay and everything will be alright.

S.

Dear T.,

IT DOES GET BETTER!!! Right now everything seems overwhelming but you'll soon be in the swing of things and your little man will be sleeping longer! Have you tried reading the book Baby 411 or The Baby Whisperer? They introduce ideas on how to get your baby to sleep longer at night.

Also, have you talked to your doctor about medication and vitamins? There are all kinds of good meds out there. I had to take some Celexa after the birth of my son for depression and it really helped me. It just took a few weeks to kick in. My doctor also suggested that I keep takeing my prenatal vitamins and stop eating processed foods. All the refined sugars and chemicals can really effect your mood in a negative way.

Additionaly, do you have any family that can come and help watch the baby during that day while you sleep? Or a babysitter?

Lastly, here is the info and phone numbers of some support groups: 1. Postpartun Support Internatioal - ###-###-#### or www.postpartun.net

2. Postpartum Assisitance for Mothers- ###-###-#### or www.postpatumassistance.com

3.Depression After Delivery ###-###-#### or www.behavenet.com/dadsgwa

Hopefully, this info will be of some help to you. Please feel free to email me if you need to talk to someone! I hope that you start feeling better soon and Congrats on your son! M.

It ends but not as fast as we would like for it to end. No sleep can mess with you mentally and physicially more then one would think. You can do this and the ladies that have responded have said what I would have get sleep when the baby sleeps, eat take showers, bathes and if someone if your family or a friend wants to feed the baby or hold the baby during up hours after a bottle let them. See if you can get someone to watch the baby while you sleep and if the baby wakes they do the feeding so you can get 6 straight hours, a neighbor, someone from church, family friends maybe a co-worker that's close as a friend. You'd be surprised that lots of people would help if you ask them. At 3 months it gets easier, each month it really does once on solid foods wow easy as pie. Take care

My little sister had her first baby a little over a year ago and your situation sounds very similur to hers she too went through post-p dep. and what worked for her was and still is zoloft. I know my sister to be a pillar and this whole thing took her by storm and she will tell anyone that, that is what really worked for her! She breast feed and her baby is perfectly fine I am not sure how your feeding your son but just in case it was a concern. Now I will tell you a cheat which alot of Ped. will advise not to but I have 6 kids and I did it with ALL 6 starting as early as 2 weeks old, I put a tiny lil "X" on a couple of their nipples and for their bed time bottle I would mix in a little rice cereal in with their formula or breast milk! The full tummy helped for a better nights sleep and w/ my 3rd child she was colic and had gas so I used mylocon drops it isn't harmfull to them cause it doesn't enter their blood stream it only goes through their digestion track! And it does get better I promise but you need some tools to help you cope! I tell moms all the time they have to take care of them and if you have to put your son in his crib and you go lock yourself in the bathroom and run you a hot bubble bath w/ your favorite book or CD just long enough for you to breath then do so, make time for you, do a manditory 1 hour you time take a walk around the house if thats all you can do anything something to replenish your soul I am tell you it will make a hell of a difference! And talk to your DR about this if your not already on something then discuss your options cause I know reguardless of what Tom Cruise says these meds work!Hang in there this too shall pass!

Hi T.!

Yes it does get better! After the three month there is a mayor change, but in the mean time you need to do the best you can to ride it out. Number one is YOU need to sleep when the baby naps, no excuses! Don't try to be the super woman and do houswork while he's sleeping. You need to take care of yourself and part of you handling the postpartum is to try to rest as much as you can. The baby also needs to get in some kind of rutine and also, your husband needs to help out. I'll share with you what I did that helped me tremendously with my 4 boys.
I gave them a bath between 7 and 7:30 everyday and after the bath a feeding and to sleep. I went to sleep at that time too. for the next feeding, which usually was between 11 or 12 midnight, my husband would feed them (I kept on sleeping). The next feeding around 3, I would wake up. If I was consistent with going to bed at 8 or the latest 9, that gave me 6 or 7 hours to sleep. After that feeding was back to sleep and the next 6 am feeding was either my husband or me again (usually in the weekends we' would let each other sleep,me on Sta and him on Sunday.
Eventually they would drop the 11-12 midnight feeding and that's how all of them got used to go to bed at 7:30 or 8 oclock at night. (the one exception to this was my now 5 year old, who resisted this rutine for the first year, but 1 out of 4 I can't complain).
You need to enlist some help with this, the hormones raging up and down,don't help any. So you have to reach out for help.And the firts in line should be your husband. If you guys stick to this rutine you both would get decent sleep, you would feel supported and in return happier and we all know that,if mamma is happy EVERYBODY is happy!
It will get better, just hung ten and enjoy the ride!(is definetly a beautiful one)

A.

I promise that your baby will eventually sleep through the night. There is no way of knowing how soon but it will happen. I'm glad that you got diagnosed and are getting help. Have you been put on medication? I have two kids, a 4 year old and a 15 month old. My 4 year old started sleeping through the night at 2 months but my 15 month old took much longer. She actually slept with us most of her 1st year. She was never a good sleeper and her naps never last more than 30 minutes. My four year old is a wonderful sleeper and took 2 hour naps frequently. I know it's a difficult time but hang in there and get sleep whenever you can. Trust me, it will get better. In a few months you can begin letting your baby cry when he wakes up at night, most babies will eventually go back to sleep. I say most because my daughter was one of those strong-willed babies that would cry for hours if you let her. I chose not to and let her sleep with us, we started putting her in her crib around 9 months and she quickly adapted to sleeping on her own. I know you think you'll be tired the rest of your life but your baby is still brand new and I'm glad that you recognize that he wakes up because he has needs and not because he is a bad baby. Good luck.

Hello T.,

I understand your pain. I do not know your background but I have been through what you are experiencing. I too went through postpartum. Do you have anyone to assist you in the care so that you can get a few (much needed hours)of rest and relaxation? Do you have family or friends that can come and sit with you? When my aunt found out I was suffering from postpartum. She came down from SC and took care of the baby for the weekend. Trust me that one weekend really helped me. When you return to work it will be a little easier becuase you are not constantly with the baby as you are now. You will miss him and when you do see him it will be like a fresh air attach. You're feeling frustrated probably becuause you are constantly with him. No break except his nap. Also have you thought about taking a nap when he naps. It also sounds like he is not getting enough to eat.

Ms T. W it is going to be all right, some times we need someone to help us; in your case girl friends are needed. and ask the babies doctor about adding cereal to formula? I think we all had postpartum, some of us did not want to admit it! you are not along, get with a friend or two and take turns watching each others baby? you get a watch and she can sleep and you get a nap and she can watch. Check your area there are still some young girls that can be trusted. You are not going any where she can watch the baby while you nap on the couch near the two of them? MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU, and what/where is the baby going when you return to work? Can the baby go there a week early? and this way you can rest up for the first day of work? I do not know your back ground but this child has grand parents? uncles and aunts? and if all else LOOKS like it fails try to focus on other things because you need to eat also. This will get better one day this sweet little child will be 18 years old going off to his own living quarters! buying you flowers monthly, singing to you just because he has a voice, telling all of the children in his class how pretty his Mom is early in the morning, yes, it gets better and you are going to get better also!!!! One moment at a time sweet Jesus;
Kay D.

I was struggling too and not enjoying my baby, I felt like a horrible mom. A friend told me about a miracle lady who does consults at your home and she saved my life. She came when my son was 6 weeks old, 3 days later he was sleeping through the night. My son is now 3 months old, sleeping 11 hours at night and feeding 5 times during the day. I HIGHLY recommend her:
www.momsoncall.com
Good Luck!!!

Keep you head up! Enjoy the precious moments... before you know it you will be up for a totally different reason... little Mason has missed curfew. My mom would always remind me, that they would only be babies for a little while. Do you have family nearby? Perhaps, you need someone to keep the baby while you nap, enjoy some "me" time. Reach out for help, I am sure someone will help you!

I want you to read the book called , " The Sleep Easy Solution" by Jennifer Waldburger and Jill Spivack. I don't know if you have a boyfriend, husband, partner... whatever... If you do - you have to take turns waking with the baby. You have to get a break - if you have a partner - you must talk about taking turns. Try reading this book. I have a boy who's almost 3 years old. He's never been a good sleeper. I just recently found this book. It's been helpful. Now that I'm pregnant with my second - I've been very worried about the sleep thing, too. This book is good for ages birth to 5 years old. Try it. I suffered from Post Partum Depression for about 4 months with my son. It does get better. Promise. Don't give up.

It does get better and will get better soon. Do you have anyone to help you. Will your husband get up with your son so you can sleep? Try to find a support system. Talk to others about how your feeling. If you get real stressed try taking deep breaths and leaving the room for a minute.Take care and try to sllep while your son is sleeping.
M.

Hi T., I live in augusta/hephzibah and I travel to grovetown every sunday if possible to visit my family and if u ever need a break or w/e I'd be happy to watch ur baby for u. I have a 4 yr old and a 11 month old....they are both crawling on the floor right now.I too sometimes wish I could just get a day off but know of no family that are capable of watching my kids.

Yes, it gets better. I know right now if feels like it will be an eternity until you get to sleep all night, but it passes by in a flash. Hang in there, and take it one day and one night at a time.

T., I don't know what your situation is but if you live with your son's father or if you have a sister, friend, mother to help, you need to enlist someone to come and attend to the baby's needs so that you can sleep. Sleep deprivation exacerbates post-partum depression. Additionally, I recommend you see your doctor as soon as possible about your post-partum depression. Anti-depressant medication at a mild dose can help balance you out so you can sleep better when you do sleep, even you out chemically, begin to exercise again (because you'll be more even and energized) and then you can wean off the medication in time under your doctor's care. It also might be helpful to see a counselor to help you through this. If you want to contact me directly I can help you find a good counselor in your area. Take care of yourself so that you can be there for your baby in as fulfilling a way as I know you want to be able to do....

It does get better, maybe not as soon as you would like, but it will. I too suffered from Postpartum and began taking medicine. It took about a month for the medicine to really be effective, but I don't know where I would be today without it. Talk to your Dr. The medicine also seemed to help my frustrations with my daughter and the situation. I worried in the beginning that I was just crazy and no one else would understand, but they do.I was a single mom by myself and it was soooo hard, I know. I think what amazed me the most though, is that when I look back on it now, women have amazing mental strength when it comes to parenting. I was suprised sometimes at how well I could function on little sleep and with a crying a baby. If you have family you can call on to help or talk to , I would definitly do that. It you wanted to talk more with me, we could do that. It will get better just hang in there!!! One day you'll wake up and realize how the time has flown and you won't remember so much about sleepless nights, but you will always remember just how precious your little one is even when she is crying at 2a.m.!

yes it gets better and i would suggest a few things. read the book called baby wise. remember to schedule your baby. make sure that he knows the difference between eating and sleeping dont feed him to sleep. also make sure the baby is getting enough to eat. sometimes if you have a big baby you may need to add some rice to his bottle and thicken things up and as they say give him something to stick to his ribs. a full baby wont need to wake up.

also find a friend, mom, dad, someone to give you the afternoon off and sleep. you would be surprised what taking a nap can do for you.

You didn't say did the doctor give you medicine to help? If not you need another doctor...if so it doesn't sound like it's working...I would also suggest you go read Brooke Shield's book on the subject just to help you realize your not alone or crazy. I am sorry this happened to you, I didn't have it but I know it was stressful just having a newborn!! Is the father around? Sounds like you need some kind of support system...I wouldn't sweat work...ask the doctor to keep you out on leave if you need it...if you have benefits or sick leave they should honor it...
good luck and you can always vent here!

Just hang in there it does get better with time,once you learn time time to put the baby down at night your baby will sleep all-night I just finish teaching another girl that had the same problem, he's sleeping alnight now, she goes back to work next week.I've been doing this 30yrs. plus. You will be fine.