Please Help - San Antonio,TX

She just wants attention. When the parent split up, its hard for the kids as well no matter what the age is because they are use to both parents under the same roof regardless of you did the most work at home. It will take time for her again to potty train so just start all over again. Let her sleep in bed with you at times for this is rough on her too. Dont fight with your partner in front of her because that will led to more issues for you lil girl. Keep doing what you do best and thats taking care of your family. I am a mother of 3 and divorced and I try hard to give them a positive atmosphere. So I know how you feel when things get out of place with the kids. Just start all over and comfort her and show her attention and she will get back on it. Give her praise for going and dont critisize her. good luck and god bless!!

Move on, go to school, get an education and pick a better man next time. Your daughter will adjust.

B.,
Your daughter is feeling unsafe in the world. She is probably feeling the tension in the home. We can't force men to be fathers but we can definitely teach our chilren about respect for oneself. My son was two when I divorced his dad three years ago. He couldn't speak a word. Children have a hard time with transition and as a mom, your focus has to be on your daughter. Keep her from trauma any way you can. She has her whole life to get trained. Focus on loving her, nurtering her, holding her, whispering to her how much you love her. Make her first. It is totally okay to hold her and sleep with her at night. The priority is to let her know that she is safe in every way. I've heard that as far as emotional development, the parent of the same sex as the child hold's the most influence. Until she grows up, you are her concept of God. Her soul is in your care. I'm praying for you.
"Mother is the word for God on the lips and hearts of children." Remember also, your daughter's biological father isn't the only father she has.
Psalm121:5-6 What does your child need today? Protection? Motivation? Encouragement? Healing? Opportunity? I already know the answer, and I promise to supply it. I am your child's keeper-My hand hovers over her/his head to shade and protect her/him. God bless you!

You need to keep reassuring her that YOU are not going anywhere and you know things are hard, but you will always be there for her. The same happened with my son, whose father was jealous of him, and he is very happy and a lot more relaxed now. If she knows you are going to be around for her, she will calm down eventually.

Hi B.,

How are you dealing with the break up? My parents broke up when I was a child also and because I was the oldest I saw how it affected my little sister. She was happy when mom was happy. Yes, we missed our dad and seeing him less often was weird, but my sister who was two during the break up was clingy when my mom was upset or crying.

It is ok to be emotional and to share these emotions with your daughter, but also show her your confidence and strength. Her world is small right now, try to keep it as close to routine as possible. Many changes at once just take time and courage to deal with through.

As far as the potty training, my son regressed and quit using the pot with the happy arrival of his little brother, she too will return to the potty chair, be patient.

We turned out ok,
M.

hi britt
first off i would like to add to the response jennifer f made about you moving on going to school and all.....its not as easy jennifer to do that when things are tumbling in anothers world. she needs positive....not someone who says....move on...get a new life.

B.
just be there for your baby girl and if she must need to be with you at your side at home......let her. she needs to know that you are going to be there for her and not feel alone. my mom told me when her and my dad split up....i did the same thing...not want to leave her side. but when i went to school....i came home and of course we had our bonding time......and she had my little fold out bed in her room with her so i would feel better. the potty training...keep at it. its understandable to go back in steps with trauma happening. as for you.....get a babysitter....a close friend to keep the little one so you can get out and recharge. if people are telling to go and move on so fast......and you know you cant do it....take a break. it is ok to take time for yourself. i understand sweetie with the husband not spending time with the kids. mine does that....but every woman goes through it when they become the stay at home mom. i just bite my tongue and think.....i have two more years till the youngest goes to school and i can back to work. we made a deal that when that happens he will put in his share of house hold work. he does some here...but i cant complain cause he does put the roof over our heads and food in our tummies and gas in my car. if you want to email me later.

Hi B.,
I am going through the same thing. I have been seperated for 8 months now. I have three kids, 8,6,4. My youngest was three years old when my husband left. She was always attached to both of us and when he left, it devastated her! She still cries for him at night. It hurts me to see her this way and all I can do is hug her and show her I'm here for her. My therapist says that she feels I'm going to leave her also. So I have to show her even more affection and make her feel secure. Although my husband hasn't said he's coming back, he has been acting different...nicer. I'm not getting my hopes up high but I do hope that we can work things out. I'm new to this website but I have a lot of helpful information on living day by day as a single mom. Take care and always always always have faith that God will take care of you and your daughter.

It's hard for her right now. She is trying to adjust I would just do what you are doing now loving her and encouraging her to go potty. I'm also at a stand still w/my 3y/o daughter on the whole potty thing and nothing is really happening here. It just takes them so long to learn and so easy to forget. We travel about every two months that's why she is having problems w/ potty. Just remember she will adjust some time hopeful soon. Try your best and don't worry if things don't get done. It's better to have a happy and loving child than to have a clean house. Keep your head up.
L.

I am sorry about your situation and I have a friend who is going through the same thing so I hope this little bit of advice helps. the main thing that you can do is stay on routine such as keeping a certain time for nap, certain time that you do the learing play, and a certain bath and bed time. By maintaining a routine it will insure her that even though Dad isn't there that she is safe and you are not going anywhere. As far as the potty training any type of drama delays things like this you just have to stay consistant and she will adjust sooner than you think if you make sure to make her feel safe. Don't argue with him even on the phone because if your upset even if you try to hide then it upsets her whole world and the routine then has to start over. Sleeping with you is another safety issue, You may try making sure to put her in her room and bed at nap time and at night put her in her bed and if she cries go in only for a min. not to long and reassure her that you are right outside in your room and that you will be there when she wakes up. And if she don't already have a night light you may want to put one in there so that if she does wake up in the middle of the night she can be secure in knowing that she is safe in her room. It may take some time and some crying but she will come around soon.