Hi M.,
Our son, now 12yrs old, has had occassional night terrors since he was about two. He's a very active, bright kid, who squeezes every moment he can into a day. There is lots of information on the internet about them - here's just one that sums it up: http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/sleep/a/night_terrors.htm
Night terrors differ from nightmares in that during a terror, not unlike sleepwalking, the kids don't remember having them. They are usually under some sort of stress--in our son's case, it's fevers that trigger his terrors (so, stress on the body/mind from illness).
After many years of dealing with it, here's what we've discovered with our son:
- he almost always gets them if he has a fever above 100-101.
- if we give him Motrin/Advil for children to ease the fever before bedtime, he will have a terror about 1.5 hrs. later. So, if we give him the medicine at 8:00pm and he goes to bed at 9:00, he'll have one between 9:30 - 10:00pm.
- if we give him Tylenol for children, he won't sleep well (it doesn't usually kick his fever fast or long enough), he'll have one more around 12-2:00am.
It's very disconcerting because when he has them, he sits up in bed shouting for us or against the "monster", he doesn't see us in the room and sometimes, just calls us over and over again. It's hard to see him so helpless, stuck in this terrible dream-state.
I've learned over the years though that comforting (touching) him can cause us to become part of the night terror -- for example, we become the "monster" he "sees". However, if I talk to him (and sometimes a little loudly) to re-assure him and calm him down, "mom's here, you're ok, everything's ok", after about 5-15 minutes he just lays back down and falls to sleep. Sometimes I'll ask him "Mom's here, do you want me to hold you?", he'll respond yes or no, then I'll either hold him or still stand about 2 feet away and keep talking until he calms down and falls back to sleep. I do stay though at his bedside and keep talking to ensure he doesn't hurt himself (e.g., fall out of bed). Sometimes he wakes himself up enough and wants water or for me to hold him or to come to our bedroom and we follow suit. In the morning, he never remembers them and again, for us, it only seems to be associated with fevers and can literally be timed to occur about 1-1/2 hrs after going to bed. Now, if the fever is high and I feel the need to give him a fever reducer, I give it to him about 1-1 1/2 hours BEFORE he goes to bed to reduce the chances of him having one.
I should mention that occassionally, like all of us, he does have nightmares. These are very different from terrors in that he'll wake himself up quickly and will usually come in our room and ask if he can sleep with us. He's fully awake, communicating, not in a panic, etc. And like most of us when we were kids, there's nothing like snuggling with your mom or dad after having a nightmare. :)
If she's experiencing nightmares, if appropriate, you might try slowing the routine down a little a couple of hours before bed...a nice bath, a calming book read in a rocking chair or having quiet snuggle time - basically a "bedtime routine" is important in winding down the day. I think this is more key when you have a "type A personality" child. No TV, or games, (things that could be activating her mind later during sleep).
It's documented that most kids with night terrors will be relieved of them by 12-14yrs old, but a small percentage will have them into adulthood. Doctors don't seem to fully understand them but then again, there's a lot they don't know yet about the brain.
I wish you and your family the best M.!