21 Month Old Having Night Terrors?

Updated on April 28, 2008
M.A. asks from Venice, CA
40 answers

My 21 month old girl was a great sleeper (10 hours through the night) until she was 5 months old. We took a trip overseas and that first night she stopped sucking her thumb and only took a bottle to get back to sleep. Long story short, it's 1 1/2 years later and we've tried every method known to man. It's just a little better now, she only wakes once or twice a night and usually can get by without a bottle, but needs some help getting back to sleep from us (back rub, singing, quick cuddle). My question is not about her sleep issues, I've read it all, done it all and am now just trying to "assist" her getting back to sleep with the hope that she will learn how herself sometime soon. My questions is...is 21 months too young to have night terrors? Occasionally, not every night, she wakes screaming like she is terrified and those times are the hardest to comfort her back to sleep. If it is night terrors, is there anything we can do to help her? She is generally a happy, funny, stubborn girl who speaks full sentences and is potty training herself. I've asked her is she is scared and she says no.I've also asked her is she has to go potty and she says no. All I can think of is nightmares. Has anyone else had experience with them in kids this young?

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So What Happened?

Wow! I can't believe the wealth of great advice I have received. Thanks to everyone. I will try to pay attention to how busy her days are. It seems that most kids get them after a big day or over-stimulation. We are a pretty active family and do a lot. Maybe she needs to sit some of that out. And I learned a lot about how to handle it when she has them. Thank you thank you!!

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L.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter had night terrors that young...even younger I believe. I'm sorry I never did find a solution to them. But I did notice that she would have them on nights after we had big days...disneyland, birthday parties, if she missed her nap. I think it mostly was out of exaustion. The last one she had was when she was 7 years old millenium New Years Eve. She is now 14 so she grew out of it eventually but ya it took a while. She did seem to have them more often when she was a baby to about 3 yrs. old. Im sorry I dont have more advise but I do hope that you find an answer so you can all rest better.

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I personally think that having night terrors at the age of 21 months is not too young.I think that maybe this is just a phase. It will take time for her to get over this.My advice,do'nt worry as much.She will be okay.

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J.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

Usually night terrors don't begin until around age 3 when abstract thinking begins but I suppose anything is possible. To me it sounds like gas pains. Maybe watch what she eats for supper (no gasey veggies etc.) and for a before bed snack. Sometimes milk can cause nighttime gas pains. Good luck.

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

My daughter did this too. Usually, it was after a very active day, or a day that was out of routine in some way. It was shocking, frightening, and I felt helpless. But I recognized what it was the first time it happened, and advised my husband not to intervene and she soon snuggled back to sleep. (Mom and Dad were pretty rattled for hours, though!!)

She is six now, and she doesn't do this anymore, but she does talk in her sleep. She also thrives on routine, so I think the night terrors were just her way of "working it out" when her day was more than she could handle.

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M.,

Our son, now 12yrs old, has had occassional night terrors since he was about two. He's a very active, bright kid, who squeezes every moment he can into a day. There is lots of information on the internet about them - here's just one that sums it up: http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/sleep/a/night_terrors.htm

Night terrors differ from nightmares in that during a terror, not unlike sleepwalking, the kids don't remember having them. They are usually under some sort of stress--in our son's case, it's fevers that trigger his terrors (so, stress on the body/mind from illness).

After many years of dealing with it, here's what we've discovered with our son:
- he almost always gets them if he has a fever above 100-101.
- if we give him Motrin/Advil for children to ease the fever before bedtime, he will have a terror about 1.5 hrs. later. So, if we give him the medicine at 8:00pm and he goes to bed at 9:00, he'll have one between 9:30 - 10:00pm.
- if we give him Tylenol for children, he won't sleep well (it doesn't usually kick his fever fast or long enough), he'll have one more around 12-2:00am.

It's very disconcerting because when he has them, he sits up in bed shouting for us or against the "monster", he doesn't see us in the room and sometimes, just calls us over and over again. It's hard to see him so helpless, stuck in this terrible dream-state.

I've learned over the years though that comforting (touching) him can cause us to become part of the night terror -- for example, we become the "monster" he "sees". However, if I talk to him (and sometimes a little loudly) to re-assure him and calm him down, "mom's here, you're ok, everything's ok", after about 5-15 minutes he just lays back down and falls to sleep. Sometimes I'll ask him "Mom's here, do you want me to hold you?", he'll respond yes or no, then I'll either hold him or still stand about 2 feet away and keep talking until he calms down and falls back to sleep. I do stay though at his bedside and keep talking to ensure he doesn't hurt himself (e.g., fall out of bed). Sometimes he wakes himself up enough and wants water or for me to hold him or to come to our bedroom and we follow suit. In the morning, he never remembers them and again, for us, it only seems to be associated with fevers and can literally be timed to occur about 1-1/2 hrs after going to bed. Now, if the fever is high and I feel the need to give him a fever reducer, I give it to him about 1-1 1/2 hours BEFORE he goes to bed to reduce the chances of him having one.

I should mention that occassionally, like all of us, he does have nightmares. These are very different from terrors in that he'll wake himself up quickly and will usually come in our room and ask if he can sleep with us. He's fully awake, communicating, not in a panic, etc. And like most of us when we were kids, there's nothing like snuggling with your mom or dad after having a nightmare. :)

If she's experiencing nightmares, if appropriate, you might try slowing the routine down a little a couple of hours before bed...a nice bath, a calming book read in a rocking chair or having quiet snuggle time - basically a "bedtime routine" is important in winding down the day. I think this is more key when you have a "type A personality" child. No TV, or games, (things that could be activating her mind later during sleep).

It's documented that most kids with night terrors will be relieved of them by 12-14yrs old, but a small percentage will have them into adulthood. Doctors don't seem to fully understand them but then again, there's a lot they don't know yet about the brain.

I wish you and your family the best M.!

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Our oldest son had night terrors around this age and for us it was a short but rough period of time. Our pediatrician told us it was normal as they are developing their imagination at this age and their brains are over stimulated especially in very active kids and this causes the terrors. My advice will be controversial - lets just say instead of advice I'll just tell you what we did and then it's just an opinion but for us it worked. When he had the terrors either my husband or I would go and sleep with him. He was in a "big boy" bed so this made it easy. Having someone there seemed to make him sleep better in general and get rid of the night terrors pretty quickly. Also my husband and I finally started getting full night sleeps and this made for a much happier household. Trust me I know what it's like to live for nearly two years without a full nights sleep and we had tried everything just as it sounds as if you have. We weren't against co sleeping just hadn't really considered it. Made all the difference and he's been a great sleeper since. Thankfully for us our second son loves to sleep through the night and at 23 months has shown no signs of night terrors (yet). Good luck and I hope you'll get some sleep soon.

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S.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M.,

I don't know if I have the answers, but I also have a 2 1/2 year old boy going through the same thing. He wakes up screaming "NO!" and yelling "Mommy!". I tried picking him up, or rubbing him and he swings his arms, pushing me away and still yelling "No!". This has been going on for a few months, slowly getting more frequent. He finally told me one night when I was putting him to bed that the monkeys were going to get him. I asked him if he had a dream about monkeys and he said, "yes". I didn't want to sway his answers so I asked him what the monkeys were doing and he said they were getting him. I said, "Did it make you happy?" and he said, "no". I then asked him if it made him sad and he said, "yes". So I got a water bottle and told him it was "Anti-Monkey Spray" and we spray it before he goes to bed all around his room. Amazingly, it has been working!! The first two nights (for the first time in weeks) he slept through the whole night without waking at all! He has woken up since, but nothing like before. It has seemed to work really well! And every night he reminds me that we need the spray.

Your daughter might not remember her dreams if she's having bad ones, but if you do find out what it is bothering her, I hope the "anti whatever spray" helps for you as well.

Good Luck!

Sheri

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J.H.

answers from San Diego on

My son was having the most frightening exerience at night and I had to keep rehashing when it happened and what happened when he started responding frightened in his sleep. I believe it was around Halloween and he was hitting two years old.

I think there are some best advice things that all parents should do and know:
Infants and toddlers are not yet capable of reasoning with this world's facts and fiction or even the very "real" experiences that can be confusing.

Always be aware of what your little and very little people are watching on television and out in the world.

Talk to your children when they see something that you know they should not have seen or that you know they should not or do not understand.

Be observant of the envirionment that you have them in and the character and set up of the environment.

Sleep with your children from the first sign of night fright and/or every now and then from the very beginnings of being big enough and able enough to sleep with you and nurture them when you know that they need to be comforted (even if it means a habit of sleeping with you my form. I'd rather have the sleeping-with-me child than the horrified-waking up screaming in the night child who you don't know how will be affected in the future or for the rest of his or her life). Do this from their very beginnings, befre they can even get to know the world.

Communicate with your child through play and your own made up language because your child will respond and over a short period of time, you will have a great idea of how your child communicates and what they are saying when they do, even if no one else understands. You will be privy to mood swings and "my baby just isn't right today", so you can have some inkling if something is or has gone wrong.

Just play it safe and remember:

This too shall past; but children need a lot of love, even when they are making poor choices, and not from a caregiver, but from their parents.

Good luck and know that God gives us all we need to survive and be well on this earth, but sometimes that giving requires at first a sacrifice. YOU CAN DO IT! I KNOW YOU CAN!

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B.D.

answers from San Diego on

Maybe she just needs a little night light in her room. Something that is dim enough to not keep her up but when she does wake, a little light may be all she needs to orient herself and feel safe. This worked for all three of my sons (11, 9 and 2 yrs). Also, I pray with my kids every night that they will have restful sleep and GOOD DREAMS. The older kids always remind me to do this, it gives them extra security....which translates to a a restful night for everyone!
I admire your decision to stay home with your children!

Good luck

B.

K.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M.. My bright, happy, creative, very stubborn 3rd daughter had this until she was around 7 years old. I heard that this stops around that age, and sure enough, it did! Often 2-3 times a night a few nights a week, she would scream and carry on in her sleep and I would have to go in and comfort her until she fell back asleep. If it was past around 3 or 4 in the am, she would wake up enought to demand that I lay with her until she went back to sleep. Needless to say, I was sleep deprived for many years. However, having come through this, the only thing I can tell you is that it will end. I think my child was just overly bright and with 2 older sisters, wanting to do so much more than she was able/allowed, perhaps this inner frustration with herself came out in her sleep. We are a very happy, loving 2-parent home, so I never felt that it was because had suffered some trauma or that it was our fault, and I'm sure it's not yours either. Try to call her name and tell her it's just a dream and do the same routine every time this happens at night so that she (and you!) can get back to sleep in the same manner each time (if at all possible LOL!) My daughter is now 8, hardly has nightmares and is a capable, bright and bubbly 3rd grader with an amazing imagination. This too shall pass - promise! Hang in there!

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C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

My oldest son had night terrors that started around that age. They were terrifying for him and for my husband and I. He was very difficult to wake from them and then took awhile to soothe back to sleep. When we asked the dactors about them, they said he would grow out of them. He is now almost 7 and hardly has anymore. It seems to me that when he was overly tired or had an extra active day, his night terrors were worse. We started trying to make sure he got all of his naps and went to bed fairly early. It did seem to help decrease how many he was having. Good luck. C. C.

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J.C.

answers from San Diego on

There is nothing you can do for night terrors. My son started having them at a younger age than that. When they wake up screaming, they don't know where they are sometimes or know that you are there. That is why it is so frustrating. Good Luck.

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B.L.

answers from Reno on

M.-
I have a 6 year old who has had night terrors for years, first started when she was about 2. I also have read everything I can about them and haven't really found any specific help except not to wake them and just keep them calm. Just recently my mom gave me some calmforte (a homeopathic remedy) that is good for night terrors and leg cramps (both of which my 6 year old gets - she grows quickly and has growing pains a lot). This seems to be helping, she hasn't had an "episode" recently. It is a very hard thing to deal with, they seem so geniunely terrified and its almost like they are tripping out or something. I hope this remedy is something you will try and find success with it. Best wishes.

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K.L.

answers from Santa Barbara on

I have a 2 1/2 year old son who has had night terrors since he was about 1 1/2. They used to really frighten us as he would thrash about and you could not wake him up. I too have read a bit on this subject and have found that they do not remember these night terrors (which is how you can distinguish them from a normal nightmare). I've found that just being there by him, making sure he can't hurt himself, and waiting them out is the best solution. I try to limit what he watches before he goes to bed as this seems to trigger them and also sleeping in a new place will bring them on as well. Lately he's been better about not having them. It's such a hard thing to go through. I wish you all the best. Let me know if you want to discuss them a little more. My email is ____@____.com.

I'm a single mother (my son's father and I split up 6 months ago). Our son spends equal time with both of us.

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

No 21 months is not too young to have night terrors. My daugher had them off and on from about 15 months to 22 months. It was usually teething that triggered if for her. They are the worst thing to watch but at least the good news is the kids don't remember them. When they are having a night terror they are actually still asleep (even though they sometimes look like they are awake) and don't respond to their name, etc. You aren't supposed to touch them unless they are in a position that can harm themself. Touching them actually will make the night terror worse since it overloads their senses.

If she is answering questions then she is awake and upset from a bad dream or a nightmare. And I would assume that your usual "help her get back to sleep" techniques along with a little extra love will do the trick. Good luck.

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K.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

HI M.,
Yes it could be that your daughter is having night terrors this early.
My son had night terrors at a young age. I want to say it was before he was 2. He would wake up in the night and scream like he was hurting and no amount of comforting would help. Then he would just take his cup and go to sleep. sometimes he would hit us when he got older and call for us even though we were right there. We would ask him about it in the morning and he had no memory of it or why he was crying. There is nothing that I have found to stop them we just made sure he didn't hurt himself when he would sometimes run around the house crying. It was very hard to watch your child cry and call out your name and you were right there talking to him.
It was usually about 1-2 hours of him first falling asleep though.

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F.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M., my son (now 4 1/2) has (and has been having) night TERRORS as well. I don't remember how young he was when he started but it was young. They are blood curdling screams/cries! The can last up to 45 min (I've never actually timed them so maybe more or less) but they are awful. I am always worried that someone might call the police!! :( Anyway, I feel all I can do is try to comfort him, rub him, pat his back, whisper he's O.K. and PRAY that is stops. I mean, they are so bad he's trembling in my arms yelling "MOMMY, MOMMY". I assure him that I'm right there, that doesn't work.... Sometimes they are so bad I even get a little scared wondering if he feels a presence that I don't.. spooky. But, as I said - I just pray the whole time and eventually the subside and he goes back to sleep. Sorry,I know that this is probably of no consolation to you but at least you know you are not the only one going through this. :(

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H.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Poor little one, so sorry she has to go through this, and good job keeping your wits about you. I can totally understand why you want to assist and assure her, and I think you are doing the right thing. According to the research she's not too young for night terrors. This seems like a really helpful article, you many want to read it: http://www.toddlerstoday.com/resources/articles/nightterr...
One thing I saw in the article that may be helpful is to keep a journal when she has them and write down the day's events and then see if something is triggering them and then you know what to avoid or change to help stop them.

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C.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter was adopted from China at 9 months old. She had night terrors for the first 8 months that we were home. I think in some case night terrors comes from the inability to express the overwhelming emotions that they are feeling. Even if your daughter can talk she may not know how to express what she is feeling or may be hiding it on purpose.

With my daughter the terrors were worse when there were changes during the day. Like when my mom came to visit. She was great but the day after my mom left she had night terrors several days in a row. She would be great all day long and then a night the subconscience would take over.

Maybe you could make a diary of what is going on during the day to see if there is a pattern.

Hope this helps

C.

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C.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi,
I can't say whether 21 months is too young to have night terrors for sure, but I doubt it. My oldest son who is now 32 started having them when he was about 5 years old, the first one being when we were in the process of moving to another town, so I suspect that may have been a preciptating factor. I, like you, did a great deal of reading and was relieved to find that night terrors, though not fully explainable, seem to be an instinctual response as opposed to any type of psychological problem. They generally occur as the body's circadian rhythm slows for rest and somehow the brain's "fight or flight" mechanism is triggered when it senses the heart rate and respiratory rate begin to slow. Much like our dreams are often caused as our brains, which continue to work full speed even as we sleep, attempt to organize and make sense of our thoughts and these are played out in the dreams we have. I found that there was little I could do during the night terror episode, as you I rocked, walked and cuddled, reassuring. Often, if I could get him to urinate (or sometimes he would just wet himself -even though he was never a bedwetter) he would then "wake-up", completely calm with absolutely no recollection of the incident... although, I was the one traumatized and unable to sleep now, lol! Just remember, children most often outgrow the "quirk" of the age.... and then replace it with a new one to continue to test our parenting skill.... Good luck! It sounds like your doing a terrific job!

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L.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son started having night terrors at about 6 months. They were horrible. If she is truely having night terrors, the she may actually still be asleep when you go in. It took us a while to realize that he was still asleep even though he was standing in the crib screaming. We started to just watch him and were able to tell when he was sleeping and we wouldlet him stay asleep. Sometimes it took him up to 1/2 hour to settle back down, but he would sleep fine the rest of the night. He is 3 1/2 now and no longer has this problem.

L.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

No, it's not too young to have "night terrors." Some kids even have it younger. My son is 20 months now, and his began when he was about 1 year old.

Here are links about "night terrors" v.s. "night mares":
http://www.smartmomma.com/Toddler/nightmares_night_terror...
http://health.kaboose.com/kids-health/night-terrors-2.html
http://health.howstuffworks.com/sleep-problems6.htm

When my son has night terrors, I pick him up....and just hold him. Then when it passes, I put him back down and he goes back to sleep. Many times, they won't remember it. And yes, they also have "night mares" which is a little different. Both my children went through this. With both of them, we would also then co-sleep with them as needed. Kids LOVE this....sleeping with the parent is comforting. BUT...remember, like all "habits", once you start co-sleeping they may not want to sleep anywhere else or any other way.

It's all about ages and stages...it's developmental as they change cognitively & develop. It's normal. No worries.
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

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R.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

OH yeah. And my husband and I felt so sad for our son. He is now 2. We just went to him and reassured him it is all right and that are here. I feel it's normal. And it doesn't happen all that often. And again, when it does we hold him and tell him we love him and it's all right.

R.

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T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M.,

PRAY. You didn't mention if you are a praying woman....but, pray. While putting them to bed pray to God for their protection -heart, body, mind and soul - and ask for a legion of angels to surround them and may they have a restful sleep.

I don't have first hand experience with the NT's and my kids have never woken from even a bad dream .....you've gotten a lot of good advice so far from people who have experienced this. But whether you incorporate Prayer now or use it as a last resort...you might be surprised either way.

Good Luck and God Bless

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J.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter had night terrors - she would look right through me and be frightened by sounds and people in the room - every time she had a virus. We finally figured out that she needed to be well hydrated before going to sleep when she had a virus. She still might wake to go to the bathroom, maybe even with a nightmare, but the terrors stopped completely. I gave her electrolyte drinks by Shaklee mixed with water and it worked great.

Good luck,
J.
www.shaklee.net/healthyfriends

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M.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son had night terrors around this age. They did not happen often, but I did find a correlation between the terrors and not getting his nap during the day. He would become over-tired and not able to make the shift between sleep cycles during the night. Luckily there were not a lot of them, but when they happened it was very frightening. My son now is 2 1/2 and has outgrown them. He has become a great nightime sleeper and only gets hysterical before bed if he hasn'thad a nap for a few days.

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I recently thought my 16 mo old was having night terrors - turns out she wasn't (it was a very painful ear infection mixed with nightmares. Antibiotics cleared it up.) BUT the biggest difference between the two is that night terrors happen in the first half of the night, usually a couple hours after falling asleep (weird, I know). Also, with NT, the child isn't cognizant. It's like you aren't even there or they don't even recognize you, even with open eyes and hysterical screaming - and picking them up can make it worse (like a nightmare coming true) - unless, of course, they are about to hurt themselves. My pedi recommended putting a firm hand on her to comfort her if she needed it. I strongly suggest talking to your pedi about this. If it is NT, there isn't anything you can do, except if she wakes around the same time every night, then you can wake her approx 15 min before they happen. but they do go away on there own - at least this is everything I researched when I believed my daughter was having them. Good luck!

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F.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

After our son had a rather severe illness, he continued to wake up at night for weeks (or months, maybe.) I would get up and go in to calm him. I asked the doctor about it, because he was 2 years old or so at the time. The doctor said that our son was well; there was no reason to get up with him. Unless I wanted to get up every night when he was five years old, I had to let him get used to not waking up and having me there with him. "Just go to the door and let him know you are there for a few nights, then stop even doing that. You have to let him scream and finally, he will realize that you aren't going to come when he screams, and he will stop it and sleep through the night again." I argued with the doctor that these aren't just screams for getting attention; he sounds like he is really hurting or sick. He again said that our son was well, and this had become a habit. So, we tried it. (I cried as much as he did!) The first night I think he screamed more than a half hour. But, it did become less and less, and by the end of two weeks, he was sleeping through the night again. This was a very wise elderly doctor, and our son is now a grown man - so this is a long time ago! It was so traumatic for me that I still remember it clearly. But, I have given that advice to others, and it seems to work every time. And our son was always a happy baby, child, and is a happy, well-adjusted man.
That may not be a doctor's advice nowadays, but it worked then. (By the way, my own children were over 30 when they had their children, and I think it is harder to relax and just enjoy your kids. Try it!)

A little about me:
I am a 68 year old mom, grandma and wife, married 50 years in June; went back to college after my youngest was in kindergarten; taught jr. high and highschool for 26 years; We love to travel, and we are taking our kids and grandkids to Alaska (though we have been to many interesting places in the world, AK is still our favoite) this summer, celebrating God's goodness to us during these 50 years.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Night terrors are a pretty common thing for kids this age. My little girl had a horrible terror on her 2nd birthday. We ended up in the ER because she fell and got hurt, but the nurse said if they had a busy or exciting day, they just go over all of the events of their day and it gets to be too much. Well, I would say how would she know, but it was true, the party was pretty overwhelming for her. After that I paid attention and she did have night terrors after a big day.

Try not to overstimulate your little girl and then pay attention to what took place the night before to see if you can peg the problem.

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T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Keep track of the times she does wake up having this, if you can recall what she has done the day before, what tv program she has watched, beleave it or not my neighbors little boy was afraid of dinosaurs, the land before time gave him nightmares, I also want to mention does she seem to remember having the night terrors, watch her behaviol does she shake or tremble during this, her eyes kinda of blank, glossy, her body feel stiffer than usaul, she could be having a seizere.
Best to keep a journal on it. Process of elimitation.

I send her sweet little heart prayers & Blessings

T Miles

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K.G.

answers from Seattle on

No it is not too young to have night terrors. My oldest had night terrors from age 2 to 4 and my youngest is now going through them. She is 5.

A true night terror is truly unlike anything I have ever seen. It is a scary time for a parent. The child wakes up in "terror". Each child is a bit different in how it affects them. The common factor is that when they are in the night terror most children will seem totally out of it. They are unaware of the parents or what is going on around them. They do not respond to their name being called. Also in the morning they will not be able to recall what happened.

We have experienced both ends of the spectrum. My oldest would get up and walk around the house. She could actually navigate the stairs and would scream very loud. We had to gate our stair lock our doors etc to keep her from hurting herself.

My youngest wakes screaming and just sits in bed and keeps screaming. We have taken to removing her from the room and getting her to go potty. *both our girls share a room*

Kids can have night terrors occur for lots of reasons. Stress, scary experiences, or my kids doctor seems to think they run in the family. My husband had them and both my girls have them. Kids at your little ones age also are starting to develop great imaginations, so their dreams are becoming more vivid.

Some kids also will have them at certain times at night. If your little one has them at a set time you could try breaking the cycle. For example our daughter like clockwork every night between 9 to 9:30 she will have one. So instead of going to bed at 7:30 she goes to bed at 8:30. Most nights she does great and doesnt have one. But once in a blue moon know she will still have one at 11pm.

Good luck with it. They do grow out of them.

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A.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

My oldest son had night terrors too. He was probably around your daughters age and had them for about two years. The thing that worked best for us was to NOT wake him. Even if your daughter says she doesn't need to go potty, she probably does. We stopped asking my son. We took him by the hand, led him to the bathroom and told him to go. He went the bathroom without ever really waking up all the way. We also put a glass of water to his lips and he drank while still asleep. After that we just led him back to bed and tucked him in and he was calm again. It seems that a lot of kids with night terrors are thirsty and/or need the bathroom, but they don't know how to wake up to take care of business and this causes them distress. They may appear to be awake, but they are not - this is really a form of sleep walking. (I was a sleep walker myself as a child and even unlocked the back door once and woke up in the back yard.) We had to go through the whole routine with my son on a nightly basis, but he did outgrow it.

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C.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

From what I have heard, 21 months is certainly not too young for night terrors. In fact, I'm pretty certain that my daughter started having them as early as 6 months.It would happen on days that she got really over-tired, like when we went to Disneyland and she didn't nap. Have you noticed a pattern of when it happens with your daughter?

From what I know (see What to Expect: Toddler Years), night terrors are relatively common in the toddler years. They differ from nightmares in that they typically come on relatively soon after the child goes to sleep (within the first couple hours), where as nightmares come later in the sleep pattern.

The book recommended that you leave the child alone during night terrors because they aren't really awake (even though their eyes may be open and their arms may be reaching) and, so long as you don't wake them up, they won't remember it in the morning. The book said to just check to make sure they are safe (i.e. can't hurt themselves somehow) and let them fall back asleep (can take 10-30 minutes).

My daughter hasn't had an episode since I read the advice, so I'm not sure how it works. Let me know how it goes for you, and I look forward to reading all of the other responses to your post!

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M.Z.

answers from Los Angeles on

M., I am a mother of 4 (15, 13, 2.5 and 8 months)...My daughter, who is 2 years and 9 months old, is not yet potty trained. She started sleeping in her own bed in January (we recently added on, so she was in her crib in our room, but would fall asleep in our bed first and then I would put her in the crib and she would wake up all the time, 3-4 times a night) but since she has been in her own bed she usually sleeps thru the night. On occasion she wakes up yelling or screaming and I have found that if I can read her a book, promoting posive things, like Barbie or Dora, or I let her watch a movie before bedtime, so she doesn't fall asleep watching it and then we say prayers and I tell her to have dreams of Barbie or Cinderella or the mice or flowers or whatever is positive for her., I know she woke up yelling about her toys one time and earlier that day she had a playdate and didn't want to share, so she was remembering that in her sleep. I hope this works for you, my daughter sleeps thru the night, but if she wakes up, I just take her back in her room, give her a kiss and tell her it is still sleeping time, since it is dark out, but when the sun comes out then it is time for her to get up. Try that, and then leave the room. I know my daughter had a hard time putting her self to sleep at first and I did leave her in there crying a few times but now she usually goes to sleep like a champ, unless she is overtired. Best of luck to you!
M.

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G.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M..
When I researched night terrors because my daughter started them at 9 years old, most of the information said they happen in the toddler phase. It's terrifying. They do pass. I hope you can get some sleep! Maybe you and your husband can take turns getting up to watch your poor daughter scream like there's no tomorrow and then not remember it. Might alert the neighbors? Maybe your daughter needs to travel again to get over it! You never know. With night terrors there is nothing to help her. You just have to wait for them to disappear. As hard as that is. Don't try to wake her. I think ours lasted about 3 months?
All my best, G.

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L.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter, who is now 8, had night terrors for a period of time starting around 1 1/2 or 2 years old. She would wake up screaming and violent. I could not soothe her at all. I'd put her on the floor with pillows around her and she would scream and thrash for maybe up to 15 minutes then she would fall back asleep. She never remembered anything and they just went away. I remember how scary they were but I guess there isn't much you can do about them. Hang in there.
L.

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T.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

My oldest son (6 1/2 years old now) had night terrors. He would have them sometimes at night and sometimes at nap time. I think they started around 18 months. He stopped having them around 2-3 years old. So I don't think 21 months is too young to be having them. When my son would have one, we couldn't get near him to hug him because it would make it worse and he would get more excited if we touched him. I would sit on his bed, talk to him, tell him mommy was there, then maybe put my hand on him, and eventually he would calm down. I would be able to hug him or rub his back without disturbing him. A lot of the times, he would go back to sleep like he didn't ever wake up or no that we were there.

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C.P.

answers from Las Vegas on

My daughter started having nightmares around 2 - she would wake up screaming, crying, and it didn't look as if she was awake. We would just comfort her until she would lay back down and in the morning she would not remember. She is 4 1/2 now and has not had one for about 6 months, but it did happen about 2 times a month for about 2 years. Thankfully they have stopped. It is scary but .... we just made sure we protected her from whatever. Someone told me not to turn on the light when you go in there - good luck, hopefully it will pass

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C.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter experienced night terrors, too. I'm not sure at what age it started, but I think it was between the ages of 2 - 4. I don't know what prompted it or what made them stop, but she hasn't had one in a long time...she's 5 now. I don't think there's anything you can do to stop it, it may have to just go away on it's own. At first we tried picking her up and comforting her when she was having her NT, but it made it worse. Then I read you weren't supposed to do that. We didn't know they were NTs because her eyes would be opened so we thought she was having a nightmare and was cognizant. However, we realized quickly that she wasn't awake at all despite looking like she was. So, I would just calmly talk to her and let her know that she's okay and would gently stroke her back or her arm to know that she was safe. It takes a few minutes, but she'd eventually calm down. Also, I was there so she wouldn't hurt herself because she would flail her arms and legs all over the place. I hope this helps. Good luck!

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J.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M. :)

My daughter went through this around the same age as your daughter, perhaps younger. These night terrors lasted for about a year. They scared the heck out of me when all of a sudden in the middle of the night she'd start screaming like she was experiencing the worst thing ever. I noticed with my daughter that although she may seem like she was awake, she wasn't. Nevertheless, my husband and I would hold her- or try to sometimes- and talk to her calmly and tell her that everything was okay, reassure her that she was safe and that we were staying there with her. It often helped when the night terrors weren't too intense when I would take her on a happy, Light--filled visualization journey as I just caressed her or rocked her gently. There were times when she would fall back to sleep rather quickly and be okay for the rest of the night; other times, she would wake up mulitple times soon after she would quite down. It gets frustrating because there really isn't anything we can do. I did talk to her doctor about it several times, who only kept telling me that very same thing. Some kids go through it, others don't. My cousin experienced it for 8 years and his were very severe. Perhaps, if your little one talks clearly enough for you to understand during hers, you can pinpoint certain words so you may get an idea of what might be going on in her little head. With my daughter, I think she was sad that my mom wasn't home with us as much because I had recovered from my back surgery and was finally okay to care for my daughter on my own, so mom returned to work full-time. I think that may have devastated my daughter who only ever knew my mom home everyday with her since the day she was born. Maybe that had something to do with it? Maybe in those night terrors, the infinite soul of the child may be dealing with something? Our dreams are wonderful and valuable tools with great purposes in our lives~ even if they are this type. Anyway, my daughter just stopped having these. I wouldn't worry about it. It's normal for hundreds of thousands of children. Yeah, it's scary to see and hear for us... it's like watching your child possessed, but if they are not doing anything to hurt themselves or anyone else, just comfort her and watch her until she closes her little eyes to sleep again :)

Best wishes and may the sweetest of dreams come to her soon!

Jennifer

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