Hi there
In August my sons will be attending preschool/day care 2 times a week. Since they were born, they have both been home with me. I am trying to prepare my kids for this transition. I have enrolled them in a few "classes"....music, gymboree type, etc. In these classes, they sit in a circle, have free play, sing songs, clean up etc. One of my sons participates about 80% of the time, my other son Ryan parcipates about 50% of the time. Ryan prefers to explore things in the room, run around, etc. I try to bring him back to the group, get him to particpate, etc....but it only works sometimes.
Did you go thru this? How did you get your son to particpate with other kids in a group? Is this just a maturity thing.....boy thing???
Anyway, I just want him to be prepared, cooperative in daycare/preschool.
Prepared and cooperative - that's a lot of expectation for such a young child. His behavior is totally normal for his age.
My mom told me that 2 yr. olds play next to each other and 3 yr. olds play with each other. I have found that to be true with my son, who turns 3 next week. As long as they aren't anxious about being separated from you, I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure the teachers at your kids' preschool will know how to help them, if they need a little extra support.
Not just a boy thing! Lots of kids love to participate by being present but doing their own thing at the same time. And if they are only 2.5 and participating as much as 50 and 80%, I'd say that's pretty darn good! I've never had the type of kids who would sit in my lap during circle time at Gymboree or music class. It's great to keep trying to keep them participating but at the same, let them go at their own pace and enjoy themselves. The teachers of those classes understand young kids and have seen the gamut of attention spans and temperaments and preschool teachers even more so. I think the most important thing is letting 2.5 year olds have fun and enjoy their "class" however they need to. Preschool is supposed to help kids with the exact things you are thinking about now--to get them ready for real school. The preschool experience helps to teach cooperation, paying attention (for short periods), doing simple table tasks and lots of social/group dynamics--sharing, taking turns, waiting in line.
It could be an age thing or your son could be shy - it's probably too soon to tell. Either way, get the teachers involved at preschool. They are good with dealing with all sorts of personality types and they can help both your sons adjust to playing with the other kids. The biggest advantage of preschool is the socialization aspect. My son started out pretty shy in preschool but once he got to know everyone, he got more involved. He's 7 now and jumps right in to play whether he knows the other kids or not.
Good luck!
I have a daughter, and she was the same. I too was doing everything to get her to participate more, or sit in the circle as expected, and she would when I held her hand and guided her too. I was told however that kids this age really do more exploration and they tend to play along side others but not really with others. I wouldn't worry about it. I did but it was pointless. Today she is four and participates, listens, follows what the teacher asks and plays and has her favorite friends to play with too. It's a stage. They change. :)
I have girl/boy twins who just turned 4. We've done classes like you've described together since they were 1. A lot of what you said, one exploring, one participating was true for us. I've decided it's a mom thing. When mine went to pre-k at 3, they were different kids! Without me present, they gave the teachers their full attention & participation. To this day, they will resume their normal explore/participate roles whenever I'm present. I think they'll be fine. There probably is not much you can do to prepare them other than to let them be who they are and be there for them. Good luck!
It is a boy thing and it is a 2 year old thing. My son did the same thing. Being two, there was little expectation for him to sit at Gymboree (as it should be), so he didn't. When he was two and a half I enrolled him in a different gym type class where there was free play, directed activity and sit down circle time for about 5 or 10 minutes. He was expected to sit and follow directions. It didn't take too long for him to realize what was expected and participate. When he turned three and when to preschool, he did just fine.
Remind your son when it is time to participate, encourage him and thank him when he does. Encourage him before class to get him thinking about it without making a big deal about it. If your son is generally cooperative about following basic rules at home then when he goes to school, he will do just fine.
The teacher that you are going with will know how to "deal" with this. It's called being a 2.5 year old. That's just how they are.
Since all kids learn in their own style, you should expect a little bit of non-compliance to the "sitting in a circle" model. I'm sure the teachers are not offended when Ryan does this. You probably go about once a week for 1 hour to these things, so he really has not had a good opportunity to explore the space. He is so little that nobody should expect his attention to be held for an HOUR, for goodness sake. Try going to some "free play" type of activities if you can find them. It is basically just a playgroup that meets at a playground or community center and there are some toys and crafts (finger painting, etc) and playdoh. Your kids will bounce around from activity to activity, stealing toys from other kids making messes and exploring. That is where they will learn social skills (with your help) and new activities that you might not want at home (glitter art or jungle gym). If you are planning to send them next year to preschool, then you have probably already registered for a preschool for the fall. If you haven't and you have a few options, visit the school with the boys and watch their reactions to the place. If your kids are comfortable in a school, they will engage in activities. If they are not, they will cling to your legs. You are doing a fine job, just give them a few more open-ended activities.
KID-thing. Perfectly normal. Attention span increases with age. 2 1/2 is very young to expect a lot of group play; just keep inviting him to rejoin the group, but "go with the flow". He'll participate in the things he's interested in.
He's still pretty young. I think once he gets into preschool, he'll see what the other kids are doing and will start following their lead. It may take him a little time to get into the rhythm of things but I'm sure that he'll catch on soon enough and the teachers are usually really good about drawing the kids into the hub of activity and redirecting a child when necessary. I really wouldn't worry about it just yet.
I had my daughter in Gymboree since she was one. She NEVER participated and we were there until she was almost 3. She would get up and leave during everything but bubble time. I put her in mothers day out this past year and she did fine at school. Dropping her off everyday was and still is hard. She whines in the morning to stay home with me, but once she gets to school she has fun. Good luck and know that they are different when we are not there.
Boys have to move around it is normal. Thank God. It helps them to be healthy and many other things. Why put them into preschool they would be better off with you. I am glad I did not put my son in kindergarten at 5, he would have been up and down exploring the whole time. It did give him a good mind to be at home. Learning and being with me at home gave his brain a great beginning.
